Sathya Sai Baba has left the body

On Easter morning we were singing Bhajans and it went on singing until the announcement was made that Baba he left at 7.40 AM his body.

Till then everybody had expected him to come back. 

Since then all shops closed, not possible to use the internet.

TV, the police and the military was here to take care, it was difficult to get in the ashram, there were lines which seemed never to end, but somehow we managed.

The sadness over that ashram is that big, but it goes on smoothly. Yesterday the TV was still here in front of my hotel, and I wondered what they expected?

It just settled down and today it is all calm again. 
Yesterday was his burial, in India sages are not cremated, they are buried.
His body has now a Samadhi shrine at the place where he used to sit. It is incredible sad and therefore, not possible to write, not yet.  

The inner unity is all there is

Today was again a very good experience during Bhajan singing. It doesn't really matter if I am in or out of the ashram, it is as it is.

Wake up, and ashram rules

One more talk with accommodation, and forget it. 

Personal matters, the bill

More than twenty years looking after his daughter, being deprived of the presence of Baba, I sit in front of the ashram, and Sai Baba, who has his whole life given darshan, is not here. I am exactly in the time here, it looks like I am going to just miss him.

The child in us and the eternal story

I have to get used to it. It feels like a childs dream getting real and by it also realizing the child in us.

A level of immortal beings

Yesterday evening singing was different. A guy was singing loudly and too fast, on the mind level, just mechanically repeating. He overpowered everybody else.

Inside peace and presence of Baba

Yesterday night I went into the Western canteen. For me it is like I am discovering the ashram again. At seven they began to sing a Baba mantra, and I thought it would be for ten minutes, but it was for an half an hour.

I was such a strong experience. I felt I had my eaten already, it was more important than food that inner food of the soul.

Ashram life, and always be careful

Today I bought some new saris and thought, what's the matter, why old stories, just to be finished and done with it for good. 

Today it is cloudy and only about 36 C.

After Baba made in the dream steps in the heart, it feels like the pace maker he got, next day Baba was there and said, ABC, always be careful, or the steps he has made to get me ready and prepared for it?

Nightmare

When calamity approaches, discrimination departs.

Baba

Yesterday was Akanda Bhajan, singing all day. There was a lady I know long time ago, unity was in the air. On the spot I felt totally home. 'I am that' was in the air above her and then it extended to all the singers in the hall. It felt like home and one on that 'I am that'- self level and he is that, he is the one who gives the knowledge and he is the one who takes the step afterwards, the step needed.

We arrived in Prasanthi Nilayam

The flight was okay. I was surprised by Bangalore airport and the highway. I reached here  4 AM, we couldn't pass at the Sai hospital, out of saftey reasons, so we had to drive through the back country side.

The Watcher and the Lesson

You are not one person, but three:
The one you think you are;
The one others think you are;
The one you really are.

Baba

Baba always reminds us that he is not the body, and if we see him now that sick, he is sick, but as he is not the body, he cannot be sick, but the body is anyhow sick.

But as he was a lot in my dream, he is inside present; only on the outside he is not present.

They don’t know yet when he will come back to the ashram and everybody is waiting anxiously.

The Prince and the Vampire

Doing one's duty, however small, in an unattached manner gives rise to the awakening of self-awareness.

Baba

My colleague asked me if I fly alone. Most of the time I went alone.

We were joking and laughing about it, she is Malaysian and married with a Swiss guy, who is working also here and she thinks I should find some guy.

But I don’t think so, after that experience with the vampire Baba, what a strange look of Baba, I was not into relationship matters again. I knew that a relationship cannot be good, but that was not only not good, that was diabolic, we had to aware of how strange people were hiding behind the appearance of a devotee?

Vampir, a Bad Monkey Mind

See God in every one you meet; see God in everything you handle. Live together, revere each other, let not the seeds of envy and hate grow and choke the clear stream of Love.

Baba

I remember when coming back from Portland, a lady, she was from Canada and permanently living in the ashram and when we met she said that she would like to marry a Baba student. I looked at her and said, ‘oh yes, like me, they look all the same, only all men were wearing white in the ashram and you have no idea who or what mind state is behind it, because it is controlled by Baba. And as soon as you are leaving the ashram you will notice that you don’t know that guy you have married and it will be a hard wakeup.  

I didn’t wish to marry in the ashram, I would have liked to stay with Baba and he made it look like possible, but afterwards it didn’t work out.

We are the Watcher

Wealth that you hoard is not yours, wealth that you have given is really yours.

Baba

I asked my daughter, what happened that she got into such a fit of rage and if it was out of self pity, as she never did before. Maybe it is because I am soon leaving for some weeks to India, she is not used to it. And she corrected herself and was sorry that she went into it. So more or less, she excused herself for yesterday's behaviour. 

We are That

Action with Love is Right Conduct.

Speak with Love and it becomes Truth.

Thinking with Love results in Peace.

Understanding with Love leads to non-violence.

Baba

We are that, just That.
we know when we think of us, we see us and there are two, you and I and that is we. We would very much like to see us.

Freedom, Nothing We don't Want

Make your life a rose that speaks silently in the language of the heart.

Baba

Actually, I would like to go nowhere, being just us, having insight that we are that. And 'that' is our focus.

It has be Deserved

Prayer must emanate from the heart, where God resides, and not from the head where doctrines and doubts clash.
Baba

Too easy doesn't work, it has to be deserved.
If not deserved, the right answer or realisation will not happen. And the right motivation will not be there to live upto human excellence.

He said that it has to be deserved.

And how going there?

What is a mirror? Looking for the self, a relationship to get aware of it, above all love for truth.

Who is it?

Yesterday has deceived you and gone, tomorrow is a doubtful visitor. Today is a fast friend, hold fast to it.

Baba

I woke up because the door bell rang, it was dream, but I was wide awake. I had to look at it. Someone was a the door... I needed to take care. The question is: Who is there?

And the right answer should be: You are there.

Who is I, right focus

I have come to light the lamp of love in your hearts, to see that it shines day by day with added luster.

Baba

When the self appeared in sleep, it was a white light, reflected outside of the body. 
The body was asleep and dark. It was the reflection of light, all I loved, full and empty, all the same, whole and everything because nothing else seemed to matter, and nothing, as it had no substance.

My Flight is Booked

If there is righteousness in the heart,

There will be beauty in the character.

If there is beauty in the character,

There will be harmony in the home.

When there is harmony in the home,

There will be order in the nation.

When there is order in the nation,

There will be peace in the world.

Baba

It felt real. I began to be more free, and that was not it. I got so certain when thinking he is it. He is there and makes a step, and I get hilarious, now you can go on and follow, make not one, but three steps.

Difficult Times

The Grace of God is like insurance. It will help you in your time of need without any limit.

Baba

All planed and now, I don't know what to do and he will not be there.  
I remember how many tears we had when he had an accident years ago.
So I get aware of his love, it is in the air.

Baba is in Hospital

You cannot see Me, but I am the Light you see by.

You cannot hear Me, but I am the Sound you hear by.

You cannot know Me, but I am the Truth by which you live.

Baba

We got today the news that Baba is in the hospital.

My experience in the dream when he was holding up the door and there was nothing behind the door but darkness has a different meaning.

Safety First and the Mind Trap

Following the master in the beginning … direction of light.
It is not just waiting, it is a process. And in the end I got aware of unity.

But I projected it, helped to explain things.

We are the Same, don't let Us Down

If you strive to find your Self by using your mind, you will strive and strive in vain, because the mind cannot give you the Truth. You are that Self. All else is illusion of the mind's creation.
Baba

The relationship is him, he is the mirror. He is the doer, and he is the reflection. He is it and he is the insights.

Song of Love

God, if you think, God you are 
Dust if you think, dust you are 
As you think, so you become 
Think God, be God.
Baba

How much my heart is longing for you, it pains that much and how much it loves you, and there is that feeling of knowing you for a long time. 
You are the closest to me, dear and near.
I feel your touch and your intimicay, just being one.
My haert is longing for you.
Life is all about small things, like a touch, like knowing that we are one, a glance, holding your hand, my everything, and knowing you as fulfillment of my life.
Feeling you in the air, the silence around, is the fragrance of love and beauty and that is part of you, the beauty, the love and the light and the endless ocean.

Ready to Fly to Baba

Nations are many, but Earth is one;  
Beings are many, but Breath is one;  
Stars are many, but Sky is one;  
Oceans are many, but Water is one;  
Religions are many, but God is one;  
Jewels are many, but Gold is one;  
Appearances are many, but Reality is One.
Baba

At work it is quiet as usually on Monday moring. I am glad I have in such moments the internet.

With my colleague I was just talking about India, as will be flying to Bangalore Thursday in a week. I haven't been there for so long and since 89 I never went alone, that is kind of an unusual feeling to go all by myself and as I had that many Baba dreams I do really enjoy it.
Till now I was not even looking forward to it yet, but now I begin to enjoy the thought of travelling.

Self-Control - He is the Doer

You are not one person, but three:  
The one you think you are;  
The one others think you are;  
The one you really are.
Baba

Now this time we know for sure that he is the doer and it is about him being the doer and not we are the doer and if we are sure about it it begins to make more sense. 

We should trust in his Lila. There are so many situation and always it is the mind and we go on in that manner and we never get out of the mind, 

He is the doer, belonging

Ego lives by getting and forgetting;  
Love lives by giving and forgiving;  
Love is expansion; Self is contraction;  
Self is lovelessness; Love is selflessness.
Baba

Now I know why he asked that question. 
That was the question he had asked in the interview room, only I didn't know that he would give the answer. 

When he asked my ex with whom he came, with my wife. Who? 
She was not there, it was not real. That is why he told him in the dream, he lived a dream. 

The Gift of Unity

God is the Seed;
The Universe is the Tree,
Impulses and passions are the branches,
Intelligence is the flower,
Pure Consciousness is the fruit,
Love is the sweetness in the fruit.
Baba

This morning in waking up there was that unity, it felt amazing. 
I didn't want to get up to not get out of it, just stay in the feeling of being 'one', the same 'I am that' between us and it felt good, it is bliss.
That must be the inner unity, the inner husband. 

It is a mirror. 

Thank you for being a real person!
Whatever, just thank you that it is possible to do that. 
It feels like a gift, it feels great. 

Oneness, the Same 'I am That'

See God in everyone you meet;
See God in everything you handle;
Live together; Revere each other;
Let not the seeds of envy and hate grow and choke
The clear stream of love.
Baba

In  waking up was an amazing reality of oneness in the air. 
It was between you and I, there was a vision and we were the same 'I am that', it means we are the same. But of course, that is Baba, there was during Darshan the 'I am that' in the air and I had been meditating and I looked at it and I went on meditating afterwards and during meditation we were not able to think, we just repeated the mantra and when thoughts came, we went back to the mantra, so there was no thinking and that is why I didn't get aware of it, I just looked at it and the intellect was not working and that was due to TM and that was actually the problem. 
So I didn't realize that I was not able to think anymore and therefore, I didn't even realize that it was Darshan, I just closed the eyes and began again to meditate. 
Probably that was the reason that 'insights' were in the air like ballons and it was not possible to understand it, because TM made it impossible, we had lost the ability to use the intellect for anything else but meditation. 

So that is where it leads. He said to be ready the 25th at 3 PM and he said 'engaged' and now it was in the inner view the same 'I am that' between us. 
First he took the step and I had to follow him and be careful, ABC, always be careful and to always care. It was a Friday afternoon and at 3 PM I was at home and meditating and waiting. It had been in the meditation I had seen the 'I am that' and it was not possible to think anymore and to realize that the I am that was meditation and so Baba came from the inside and made it to meditation and we are the same, you have also been with TM, we are for sure the same on that level. 

First I began to write it down, tried to make some sense in my thoughts. It was not that calm inside. How to tell? What to tell? How to understand it? What is the next step to take?
That is quite something when Baba does something, but there is another side to it and I don't see yet, the time value..., now it is new and everything feels great and exciting, but what Baba does is for always, there has to be transformation. 
What it all stirred up and made come up in my mind. I hope it will calm down and we will again be able to think...

I listen to the Gayatri and am amazed that Sai Baba seems to express the rhythm of it in his movements, when he walks it feels like he hears it inside of him. 
That is why I prefer Bhajans to other songs, because in the rhythm is the harmony of an awakend consciousness.
But I listen to it to calm down the mind, not very calm, but on the other hand also fulfilled. It feels like bliss. 

Miracle and Picking up Needles

Where there is Faith, there is Love;  
Where there is Love, there is Peace;  
Where there is Peace, there is Truth;  
Where there is Truth, there is God;  
Where there is God, there is Bliss.
Baba

That is the relationship with Baba and what I hoped to get years ago with my ex, so I had been in a mud hole and there was ruin and he got me out of it as it seems and into another relationship to make it okay again. 
How did that happen? But there is something so peaceful in the air and a certain quality and depth, we cannot find usually and it feels that good. 
It felt before like that was all lost lost, it seems it was not lived on the right level, what do I know why it didn't work out - I did my best from my side and I had to take care of the child.

Cultural Differences

There is only one religion, the religion of Love;  
There is only one language, the language of the Heart;  
There is only one caste, the caste of Humanity;  
There is only one law, the law of Karma;  
There is only one God, He is Omnipresent.
Baba

Once I was in Bangalore at the YMCA and someone told me to join the marriage celebration in the house and it was a Muslim marriage. 
It was a strange experience, because that girl had a sari over her head, there was a man, a taxi driver, he said he was her cousin and he explained to me what happened. He said she was married to a cousin of hers and that she knows him and will be enjoy it after all, but in that moment she didn't know it yet and she was sobbing, it was not joyful and when I thought of our marriages it was such a difference, she felt to me like cattle that had been sold, like a cow on the market. 

Scared

Life is Love, enjoy it;  
Life is Challenge, meet it;  
Life is a Song, sing it;  
Life is a Dream, realize it;  
Life is a Game, play it;  
Life is a Goal. achieve it.
Baba

Why do I worry?
Those past memories of mothers sickness came up, the mourning time and that felt not reassuring and that feeling created by it just doesn't go away, it is like in the air.
I am worried, and don't know really why.
It feels like in my self I know that all those dreams with Baba have a meaning, but my mind doesn't want to see it or it is too bad to be able to see it.

A New Beginning

If wealth is lost, nothing is lost.  
If health is lost, something is lost.  
If character is lost, all is lost.
Baba

It is quite something. 
He really said the 25th and 3 pm..., and during meditation to be ready I meditated at that time, it was still a big surprise when he said engaged. 

Maybe it is because I had been in a relationship and we had met in Baba's ashram or better in Kodai. 

Engaged

Before marriage, he is half body. Before marriage, she is half body. Lady is always left side. Right side is gent's. 
The gent's body is always the right side of the wife. Now you have only one body. In Indian philosophy or custom, this is called ardhangi. (Ardha means half.) Wife before marriage is only ardhangi, half body. Now the left side is joined with the right side and you are full body.
Baba

It feels like marriage. 
I need inner space and peace to get to insights.
He is engaging me to you, feels like inside committment.
He was waiting at the door and is the husband, right side.
Maybe he doesn't want to leave me back alone in the world, because he said 'engaged'. 

He had said the date and the time before, it was two day ago, he said it in my dream in the inner view. He said, March 25, 3 PM and I meditated at that time and what was there, that was only a word.

Genius and Pyramid

Renunciation is the power of battling against evil forces and holding the mind in check.
Baba

There was in the dream a pyramid, it is also an insight. 
It is a triangle and it has a special quality. In astrology equilateral triangle has a harmonious value. 
I don't know yet what Sai Baba it telling me with it. I am trying to find and answer and I am afraid that I am looking too far, but there is no way than to look at it until we get an answer to the insights.

It was the path and it was as pyramid, a geometrical form, reflecting the path, just a form, and that has harmony and depth.  
The word genius was in the definition, the mythology.
And I have to follow that to find the meaning of it behind.
But it is also expressed as healing. Crystal healing and the chakra colors it works with the pyramid.

More Baba Dreams

Life is a bridge over the sea of changes. Do not build a house on it.
Baba

He was there in the dream, standing at the door, behind is not he, but nothing, just darkness ... 
The door is wide open.
Baba is standing at the right. 
Love my uncertainty, that is all what comes in my mind.
There was another picture, I was at darshan, people waiting, but I couldn't find him, where was he?
Why was he not there?

You Love to Fly

True devotion must not get dispirited; nor elated or satisfied with lesser gains; it must fight against failure, loss, calumny, calamity, ridicule and against egoism and pride, impatience and cowardice.
Baba

I dreamt of you and it was about the time in Neuchatel and there was Carl, he liked to fly, as he wanted to become an airpilot. 
That was a passion of him that flying and I could fly with him. 

I don't know

I don't know? Do you know?

I have the feeling it made sense, but now I have the feeling I don't get anything at all. That last part, I don't get.  

Ganesh Mantra - Obstacle Breaker

Here a ganesh mantra to break through obstacles.
Do you think it is easy and powerful enough, to get through obstacles?
I guess it would be much better than leaving it to mother nature.
A bhajan I cannot repeat like that. I will try and see where it goes. 
Facing changes that goes directly to a new level, what on body level can be complicated.
The chanting has to be so intense that it becomes a part of the self. We have to be it and become it to break through obstacles in the mind. Constant repetition gets part of the self.

The Song of Devi (Devi Mahatmyam)

O Devi,

you are Bhagavati, the highest wisdom,
you are the cause of salvation ...
You are the highest knowledge,
maintained by the wise, their redemption and hope ...
You are the soul of Brahman.
You are the source of the pure hymns in the Vedas.
You are Bhagavati embodied by the three Vedas.
You are the food that sustains life.
You're the one who takes away the pain of the world.
O Devi,
you are the wisdom that understands the importance of the Scriptures.

Actually, we should never forget it and she will be there.

Patanjali's sutra, and the not right path

We have three levels: Knowing, known and knower. Patanjali has also three levels: Dharana, dhyana and samadhi, that is samyama. (Focus, flow and merging)

Patanjalis' sutras used for results

I was in Paris, we lived quite happily, went in the cinema until morning, slept on the floor, had no furniture but a TV, and we had a cat. He belonged to the Hare Krishnas and they tried to live with nothing.

One in the spirit

In the first experience of oneness, when not possible to answer why there were problems afterwards, that was projected in - you should not - we had done something wrong, it was projected in doing. Nobody knew what it was, but something went wrong, so somebody had to be the wrong doer, and it was not the blind man, who turned out to be an enemy, put in question, it was projected on us, not clear by whom of the elders. 
But usually when there was a problem, it was answered as - you did. 
But at that time, it didn't go a way by blaming someone, because it was not the right answer. Something went wrong, there had to be a wrong doer, but it was not the right answer. As it was not a level of doing, it was a level of consciousness, and a projection into doing, the real thing got lost, no answer possible on that level and that felt like being cruscified, that level was again there in my marriage later on.
It was not even possible to talk, always troubles, and it ended with having to go and make peace with Baba. He finally told me inside, when seeing a blue light, I could go on, taking that as the right direction, and here I am.
In the parent's house it felt like, if you have those problems, you destroy a relationship, it's a mistake. When in reality one should be able to talk and share in a relationship being one. What's a relationship of use, if that's not possible?
So the real issue got lost, and the wrong doing was projected into something else, when in reality it had nothing to do with doing. It felt like finding someone to blame, finding faults, being on the level of the intellect more than on the level of the heart, and not knowing the difference. 
I read about that in Alberto Villoldos' books, if it doesn't get clear, you marry it. That's what happened to me, because it didn't get clear, I married it. But when I met him in a work-shop, he asked, if someone was there, who had married it. I felt so tired, I couldn't hold up my hand, and I felt also ashamed. 
I had married it. The issue came up when Baba was in his dream and said to him, I had to go to India to him and make peace with Baba. Even that was for him a reason to blame, to find faults, to put the finger onto others, they were wrong, never looking at himself. 
It was for me a call, what I was waiting for, years being unhappy in that relationship. It was a call in a strange dress, but nothing to blame. For me it was holy, and looking at that blame in the air, I felt shocked to be there, in that room. I had married the father, so he also pointed out and blamed, when it was in reality himself to blame. That was the mirror, and it gets visible by Baba's presence in it.

Attracting, what I don't want

The question, why a yogi created a system with TM, where unity was first experienced, but then not confirmed and the insight lost, the understanding not only not possible, but projected on a scientific level, where it never can happen, in the intellect, different to intelligence, inborn, in the self, no level of the intellect, that seemed worse than anything I ever had experienced. That was experienced as black hole.
The confirmation for those issues was projected into scientific research, into the intellect. The level confusion was presented as no problem, if you meditate. (On that level it was not only fighting to the end, hell was present and the devil too.) Follow the master, fight to the end, finish the game. 
It was waking up in a nightmare, getting lost in a black hole, living hell and never ending questions, which should not be there, because those people see themselves as invincible and without problems. They think they work with the intellect, but never ask a real question, only working on scientific research, not noticing that they constantly avoid the real problems and questions, because they think, that will be answered by that methode and projected into the future, in times to come.
In that system the - being one in the spirit - got lost. It was not a conscious insight, but seemed a means to make people dependent, to create puppets, a hidden power game, used the knowledge of the great masters just to create an illusion, just to attract more people, when in fact the real knowledge behind was never put in question, never looked at. So they lived in the idea to have everything, not aware what happened to them, lost in a brainwashed reality, in a cult, deceived by the master and the system.  

The Dalai Lama and Mankind...

Here’s a question that was recently posed to the Dalai Lama to hail the birth of 2011:

“What thing about humanity surprises you the most?” His answer was as follows:

“Man”
“Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present. And as a result he doesn’t live in the present or the future.

And he lives as if he’s never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

Prashanti Nilayam and Sai Gita, Baba's elephant

Pictures at the time in Prashanti, it will never be the same in the West, not in New York, not in here.

As we looked at old pictures, it is time past with Sai Baba, and that is not New York, and it will never be, because it is Prashanti Nilayam, the abode of highest peace.

That was the last time when you were in Prashanti...

The elephant is the symbol of ignorance. Becoming a TM-teacher the same night in sleep there was a big elephant, dark, and he had a vacuum cleaner in the trunk, and he went into a jumbojet, the TM-movment to clean the world. The symbol of ignorance showed that it was established now, hidden behind appearing knowledge it was nothing but ignorance.

The small young elephant gets attached to a chain, and he is later not able to get free when he is grown up because he doesn't realize his power.

Seeing the elephant was nothing less than that, no more reflection, no more thinking, because everything was replaced and learnt by heart, and the understanding had become repetition of the mantra and technique.

TM is the chain, they will never get free, they live on the intelligence level of an elephant.

When I went to New Delhi, I hoped Maharishi would make it all right, and prove me wrong, because I didn't want to give all that up, but no - I was right, it was confirmed, not corrected, and there were clouds of dark dust in the air above the houses people meditated.

It was shock, and I left for good, but to understand that - shit, how much time it takes.

'Collision with the Infinite' by Suzanne Segal

I got the book 'Collision with the Infinite', a bestseller in the USA from Suzanne Segal, some call it enlightenment.

The farm in Oregon - it reacted, reflected and resounded

There was an Osho film festival.

It was explained that Osho was three years in silence. Before that he spoke twice a day, the great books of him are the result of that.

At the farm people focused on work, what seemed logical. If we free the energy, nothing obstructed it.

One person said if he was in love it was his problem. If he got jealous also. In the end he had no more relationship but only free sex a few times a week, so he never got in troubles with feelings, and the rest of time they danced and worked. It seemed Osho wanted not to have only people who came to hear his lectures, but people who could work, that sounds like a selection.