A New Beginning

If wealth is lost, nothing is lost.  
If health is lost, something is lost.  
If character is lost, all is lost.
Baba

It is quite something. 
He really said the 25th and 3 pm..., and during meditation to be ready I meditated at that time, it was still a big surprise when he said engaged. 

Maybe it is because I had been in a relationship and we had met in Baba's ashram or better in Kodai. 

My ex answered an interview question of Baba and I told it because I wanted to get an answer or it opened doors and my ex jumped at that opportunity, but it was not such a great experience after all. We gave Baba a letter and I thought it was Baba, but it was not really Baba and after I got pregnant quite fast, before delivery we had interview, and when we left the room, he took the vibuthi he put in my hand out again, that was not a good sign. It felt like something was totally wrong. 
During the interview I sat at Baba's feet and he asked him with whom he came and he said, with my wife and Baba said, who, who, who? 
On one side were the Americans and on the other side the Swiss and it felt real strange, it felt like she was not there and that should prove right and I tried to see a Baba Lila in it. And Baba asked me what I wanted and I said, whatever you will give Baba. 
He seemed not that happy with that answer, I was really living in the idea that it was a Baba Lila, because he had asked those questions in the interview room and he had asked me why I was that old and not married and he said he would take care of it. 

Can't tell what it really was, just know it looked like that and therefore, it is all wrong. While I was waiting to understand the Baba lila, the relationship got only worse and worse.

The first difficulty coming up, all was gone, the whole dream. And I avoid to talk about it, because it was that awful. One day in the ashram he was in a bad mood and I didn't notice it and it was just after Darshan and he cut the teeth with his teeth and spit it in the breakfast and I couldn't take that, normally I would probably have said nothing, but that was too much and I said he should stop and he didn't, he was provoking it and he went that far, it was not possible to take it anymore and I took that thing and threw it at the wall and it ended with him hitting with the pot on my head and that often, that I could be glad I was alive still. And I am still working at it to understand it. 
He took only advantage of it and when it didn't work out, he had no inner strength or readiness to go for a good relationship, he had promised everything and it was all wrong and all that under the pretext of a Baba Lila and I went into it with closed eyes because I thought it was a Baba Lila or I felt somehow safe because he was present, whatever, it was not as we thought it should be and that was the end of it.
In the dream I went down an escalator with Baba together and he changed into a prince and when we reached the bottom there was a big check with a big amount, it felt like fulfillment, only it was on a material level ... and after all just empty promises, nothing was real in all that. 
From that moment on I knew I had to wait for the prince. I could't get out of it, as I went in with the idea that it was a Baba Lila and he took only advantage of it, as it seems it was about the worst relationship we could be in and I would not have needed a Sai Baba to go into something like that, alone I probably would never have done that. 
it was about giving power away. 

So this time it is done differently, probably to just get a diffeent experience.   
Baba also said in the dream that there had to be a new beginning.
Could be he 'engaged' me to get it away from my ex, he is that kind of person conceit and perverted, he had mentioned before, he said it was perverted, he could destroy all spiritual benefit and it ended in ruin and that is how it had ended. 
It felt like actually he was a demon, a vampire and his target was not only me, but also Sai Baba and I went in the trap. I felt like in prison, because I couldn't get out of it. 
So it had to do with a new beginning.