The Prince and the Vampire

Doing one's duty, however small, in an unattached manner gives rise to the awakening of self-awareness.

Baba

My colleague asked me if I fly alone. Most of the time I went alone.

We were joking and laughing about it, she is Malaysian and married with a Swiss guy, who is working also here and she thinks I should find some guy.

But I don’t think so, after that experience with the vampire Baba, what a strange look of Baba, I was not into relationship matters again. I knew that a relationship cannot be good, but that was not only not good, that was diabolic, we had to aware of how strange people were hiding behind the appearance of a devotee?

It made no sense at all and how did it happen? That guy was living in the ashram living in his big boss’s room, he called friend and I noticed only much later it was only about money. He had finished business for some reason, he had been working with him and he didn’t find anything or he didn’t wanted to find anything because he was attached to the idea that he would get rich with him, if he just walked in his footsteps. So he plaid helpless and didn’t stop until his boss who was the probably biggest donor in Baba’s ashram send him to Baba and he could have his room. So there he was with the aim to get rich, following not Baba, but his former boss and telling everybody fairytales about being rich as well and that he would have again a job with his former boss, who was a VIP in the ashram. So his aim was not spirituality and not Baba, but his former boss and following him in his footsteps and it was only about money.

It was kind of a shock to get aware of it.

I remembered that dream, standing beside Sai Baba on the escalator, as he transformed himself into a prince I had married and on the bottom of the escalator was a check only, but at it was a check, and it was just based on wrong promises.   

That dream I had after that guy that so called good devotee, had hit with a metal pot on my head until I was afraid he would kill me. He flipped out because things didn’t go the way he wanted it, there was no character, no inner strength and no self-control. Afterwards I was holding the energy down to not go him into flipping out again and that meant I could never be myself really. As I had a small daughter and we lived in India I didn’t know where to go and my family was also in Spain and anyhow not interested. Later in Portland I tried to tell my parents and they never even answered.

So that dream was like the key for me, I had to wait and I waited until I would meet the prince again and that happened years later when we went to Baba again, during a Darshan there he was the prince.

That is how I went through that experience with the vampire. I was focused on Baba and waiting that he would be the prince again and I lived with my daughter, she was my sunshine and the other took my energy and he took care of it that it was not okay and he always tried to argue, but I answered usually, Baba will find a way.

Finally he was in his dream and he said that I had to go Baba and make peace with him. He probably said it that way, because that stupid guy put constantly Baba in question, it was cruelty behind, he couldn’t live with no job, he was never happy, he was constantly or still dreaming of the big job he lost with his former boss and he couldn’t let go.

Nothing was good enough because he compared himself always with his rich boss instead of listening to Baba and he was frustrated that he couldn’t follow that guy anymore in his footsteps, because that is what he wanted and he was not there because of Baba.

He compensated in being mean, in telling the opposite what Baba did and in making fun of it. He was constantly arguing or harassing and he would never have let us go if Baba would not have been in the dream telling him that I had to go and make peace with Baba. He was also about that arguing. He said that who is that stupid and has to go and make peace with Baba? I didn’t answer anymore, my feeling level was low and I just waited to finally get out of it. In my dream Baba said that I had a nervous breakdown and later in the ashram he also said that on the spiritual path it is possible to have a nervous breakdown. So I tried to see it as part of it and that I had to learn a lesson and I tried to make the best out of it, on the level that guy was talking we couldn’t argue anyhow it went nowhere.

In telling the story I get aware of it and I have to get a feeling how to live with it and to see that as part of spiritual experience a lesson, but I was not very eager to get back into a relationship after that.