Vampir, a Bad Monkey Mind

See God in every one you meet; see God in everything you handle. Live together, revere each other, let not the seeds of envy and hate grow and choke the clear stream of Love.

Baba

I remember when coming back from Portland, a lady, she was from Canada and permanently living in the ashram and when we met she said that she would like to marry a Baba student. I looked at her and said, ‘oh yes, like me, they look all the same, only all men were wearing white in the ashram and you have no idea who or what mind state is behind it, because it is controlled by Baba. And as soon as you are leaving the ashram you will notice that you don’t know that guy you have married and it will be a hard wakeup.  

I didn’t wish to marry in the ashram, I would have liked to stay with Baba and he made it look like possible, but afterwards it didn’t work out.

 

They look all the same and in Baba’s presence they are all the same, but as soon as they turn the back to the ashram, there is only the mind and not more Baba’s control and a totally different person.

It can be quite a shock to notice that difference. And even the love we feel is all Baba and not the person we are with and when he is gone, also the love is gone.

It is a direct means to come down on ground and to forget about love and to understand it that is much more difficult.   

Following the light goes in direction of him.

I just know that with my ex Baba went farer and farer away, it got more and more complicated and in the end he put even in question what Baba had said.

If Baba said it was white, he said black.

It didn’t make sense to me, but it was not about making sense.

He changed the energy or he sucked my energy.

Baba was in the dream with vampire teeth, that was kind of shocking, but I felt already that bad, that I couldn’t put it in my mind that someone would do something like that.

I lost the feeling for it or it was just too much to take.

There was an insight and I didn’t realize anymore that it was an insight; I thought it was a nightmare. I was as a homeless beggar woman and in the air was ruin.

Homeless because he was no ‘husband’ there was no love, beggar with Baba who is love means no love and ruin was in the air, because with his attitude putting Baba’s words in question he created doubt and doubt is spiritual ruin.

It was actually about the worst person we can possibly be with and I had no idea about it, I didn’t see it because I was focused on meditation.

But I had the feeling I lived with a demon, but I had no idea how bad it was.

He did everything to ruin the spiritual path.

It didn’t make sense to me, that is why I didn’t see it and I tried to think positive and I made the best of that time, because I felt like in prison and I couldn’t leave.

Whatever he said, he said that much, it went in one ear and out the other ear, but what I didn’t noticed was the energy changed. When the energy was good and light and okay, he didn’t stop until it felt low and not okay again.

That was why Baba was in my dream a vampire, a frightening vision.

And he had also a very long nose, later he told me in the dream that he took only advantage of it and everything he said was not true.

In the observer we are not acting, he is watching, therefore, I thought it was part of it to watch and to get aware of it, watching like that guy took care that I felt bad.

Once I went to a channel, he was called Ra and I just went to feel better or to realize what I could do and when he entered the body, he looked at me and asked, are you happy and couldn’t say yes. So he gave me his necklace and he asked me are you happy now and I said ‘yes’.

When I went back and told him, he sat with a friend of ours in the living room I noticed that he couldn’t take it and I watched how he went on until the energy was gone. I could see how the good energy changed into low energy. So that was probably why he put Baba’s words in question. I thought it was stupid and it didn’t make sense, who would be that stupid to do something like that? But he did and the effect was not reasoning, but taking the energy away. He was a vampire and he lived from my energy. It was such horror to get finally aware of it; I didn’t know what to say.