Correct Understanding and the Fish and the Water

Look at the fish! Living as it does perpetually in water, has it rid itself of its foul smell to any extent? No. Inclinations (vasanas)won't disappear as long as one's heart is full of the illusion of egotism, even if one is immersed in many heart-purifying spiritual disciplines. If you really want to get rid of the feeling of "I" and "mine", you must transform yourself and worship the Lord (Hari), without any likes and dislikes. Just as light and darkness can never coexist at the same place, love and hatred can't coexist in the same heart. You experience joy and misery through the ear. Therefore as a spiritual aspirant, avoid the cruel arrows of hard words. Instead use sweet, pleasant and soft words suffused with truth. Speaking softly by adding falsehood will bring you misery. You can recognise a true spiritual aspirant through their good qualities.

Direct perception is experience and in thinking it over we remember the experience and see it in our own life and no matter what comes up it takes shape and form just in remembering it and seeing it in our own life in the light of the words of a self-realized authority and that is what Sai Baba is a self-realized authority. 

Last night some family stuff came up after writing some Christmas greetings and how I got aware of the family patterns. Even if it is a different situation and a different time, that pattern is still alive and it is part of the experience, but here it is about the right answer or inference.

The Nine Modes of Devotion

Follow at least one of the nine modes of devotion (Sravanam, kirtanam, etc.). It doesn't matter how wealthy or learned you are; God is concerned only with the sincerity and purity of your mind and heart and the wholeheartedness and genuine nature of your love. Valmiki was a hunter. Nandanar was of a low caste. Kuchela was a poor man. Dhruva and Prahlada were five-year-old lads. Sabari was a tribal woman, illiterate and uncivilized. But all of them won God's Grace in abundance, because of their wholehearted devotion, love and surrender. Follow Sabari's example, who always thought of Sri Rama and His happiness, and dedicated all her thoughts, words, and deeds to Him alone, such that her every action was transformed and sublimated into the highest penance (tapas). Meditation does not mean sitting idle in a particular posture, like posing for a photograph. Like Sabari's life, your life must become a continuous meditation wherever you are, and whatever you do.

What do we get from thinking over Swami's words?

Nobody seems to do that really and why not? Probably because it is not possible, but he also tells us that contemplation is neglected. It feels somehow that far away actually and still that close.

Follow at least one of the nine modes of devotion (Sravanam, kirtanam, etc.).

The Lamp on the Tongue, Meet the Entire World

Temple worship, company of sages, adoration of the Lord and recital of His name - these are external sources of light. Meditation, austerity and reflection (dhyana, tapas and manana) — these are sources of inner illumination. Devoid of both, how can you experience the vision of divine glory? Once Tulsidas Goswami declared, "Do you require light inside the house as well as outside? If yes, then place the lamp on the doorstep!" So too, if you desire to experience the illumination of peace (shanti) within you and also spread it out, then place the name of the Lord on the tongue, which is the doorstep of your personality! The lamp on the tongue will not flicker, fade, or be put out by any storm. It will confer peace on you as well as on all whom you meet - in fact, the entire world." Therefore, for your salvation, evoke the vision of the form with the Lord's name on your tongue.

Yesterday we had our Sai Christmas celebration and it was just great, even if we were not as many people as planned. We had even a concert by our greatest singers and then we left and seven people on the way back we just experienced that. Two guys were making fun with everybody and also with the ticket controller in the train. One told him that we just had met God and he said, 'oh yes', of course he must have thought that it was a joke, but it was kind of nice one during Christmas time and he was nice man and he felt good in our group that we could see, he remind with us for a while before he went on with the rest of the people. 

That way it was a good experience to go by train and after we arrived at our destination, we got hugged and kissed and all laughed, we all felt a bit silly and one devotee said that we are in a kind of ecstasy, that is the result if too much sathva flowing, people get a bit like drunk and ecstatic and just in such a good humor that everybody would have liked to join our group and it was really joyful actually.

It was the result of love in the air and it was still afterwards when going to sleep and it was in the memory of that precious time with Sai Baba and kind of a rare state of mind. We would like to share more often and we just wonder why we didn't, we had experienced it as the Sai universe time ago when being with him in the darshan and in his presence, there was nothing left but love really, love everywhere, like the air saturated with that precious divine love, nothing existed but love. 

Temple worship, company of sages, adoration of the Lord and recital of His name - these are external sources of light. Meditation, austerity and reflection (dhyana, tapas and manana) — these are sources of inner illumination.

Omnipresence and the Lord of Death

Lord of Death (Yama) is as omnipresent as Lord Siva! Yama is associated with the body (deha); He cannot affect the individual soul (jiva). Siva is associated with the individual soul, but He won't allow the body to subsist for any length of time. The body is the essential vehicle for the individual soul to understand its real nature. Still who knows when the body may become the target for the attention of Yama? The individual soul, burdened with this destructible body, must grasp the above-mentioned caution and be all-eager to merge in Siva! No single moment that is passed by can be turned back. People usually delay doing some things; yesterday's till today and today's till tomorrow. For the tasks of spiritual discipline, there is no yesterday and no tomorrow. This very moment is the moment! The minute that just elapsed is beyond your grasp; so too, the approaching minute is not yours! Only those who have this understanding engraved in their heart can merge in Siva.

He is telling us here that the Lord of Death, Yama is as omnipresent as Lord Siva.

We got to the conclusion yesterday that nobody is really going into it. 
Yama, the Lord of death is associated with the body (deha). If the words are not listened to and someone said it was too complicated and it is just because of that reason, we have to think it over, we have to listen, think it over and absorb. 
It needs an effort to think it over. It needs an effort to find the right answer, it needs an effort to be able to absorb.

If we feel it is too difficult, some seem to, it is neglected. And neglecting it, thinking it is not okay and just interpretation. If that would be so, contemplation would not be possible. The difference between interpretations or what our mind thinks is actually our projection and turns into interpretation and that is just the opposite way around. How can it be wrong if he tells us to think it over, but we have to get aware of it. He told us even in the interview room, translate, what means interpret it …

Again a type of person who is that convinced in his mind that he knows and gets to the right conclusion and in reality every second word he tells is not real and not what he tells, but delusion.

Lord of Death (Yama) is as omnipresent as Lord Siva! Yama is associated with the body (deha); He cannot affect the individual soul (jiva). 

Every Act should be Done with Great Care

 

 

People have taught the eye, ear, and tongue the luxury of constant novelty. Now do the opposite. Turn your mind towards the good and examine every minute's activities. Each deed is a chisel stroke shaping the rock of human personality. A wrong stroke may disfigure the rock. Therefore even the tiniest of acts must be done with great care and devotion. For a drowning person, even a reed is some support. So too to a person struggling in the sea of inborn desires (samskara), a few kind words might be of great help. No good deed is a waste; every bad deed has its consequence. So strive to avoid the slightest trace of evil activity. Keep your eyes pure. Fill your ears with stories of Divine; don't allow them to listen to calumny. Use your tongue for uttering good, kind, and true words. Let it always remind you of God. Such constant effort will grant you victory.

 

Actually I had a dream and in that dream we were swallowed by the earth, it didn't feel very good though. We have nothing to do anymore, no job and nobody cares really. It seems we belong to a movement, but there is really nobody. There are lots of people, but when we really are in need of someone there is nobody, but they ask us always to do something. They always want something and that had been in the dream with Baba when he left the body, he was on the stage with the country flags and all the people were at his feet and all wanted something from him and it was separated by height and there was great agony.

That is the reality of it; they always want something and more and expect us to not only do our best, but more than the best and it seems never enough and that has something to do with that outward devotion to the body as it seems and not inside in the self. We are all the same self, the same light, the same love; the only difference is if it is permanent or changing. If it is permanent and non-changing it is real and true and divine love, if it is not permanent and changing it is all different kinds of love and the best is 'pure love', but it is not established permanent and therefore, not yet divine love. It was all in the insight, it means the man who comes in our dream to awake us, but it was awful agony. And that is the reality of the movement, they always want something, but they don't give. If we need something there is nobody, but when they want something they are there with critics and blame and demands and that are the people talking about love and if we take it literally we just walk away.

We have to find the divine love in singing together, but in the action of the people we will not find it, we find only selfishness. If we wouldn't have the Indian devotees we would be nowhere really. They are the people understanding and living it and they take care of it silently in the background that it goes on and that we get food, that the meetings are half way acceptable without that we get into war and they are there every moment to serve and to share their love and care, because it seems that only they know what this is all about and how we have to understand it to live it.

People have taught the eye, ear, and tongue the luxury of constant novelty. Now do the opposite. Turn your mind towards the good and examine every minute's activities. Each deed is a chisel stroke shaping the rock of human personality. A wrong stroke may disfigure the rock. Therefore even the tiniest of acts must be done with great care and devotion.

Theoretical Knowlege is a Burden, we have to Practice

You have joined the study class at Dharmakshetra, and are engaged in poring over all types of books and gathering information and instruction. But, what have you gained? Knowledge about what this author says or that sage teaches is not what your study circle must aim to acquire. Not information, but transformation; not instruction, but construction should be the aim. Theoretical knowledge is a burden, unless it is practised, when it can be lightened into wisdom, and assimilated into daily, life. Knowledge that does not give harmony and wholeness to the process of living is not worth acquiring. Every activity must be rendered valid and worthwhile by its contribution to the discovery of Truth, both of the Self and of Nature. Of what use is it to know everything about nature, if you do not know anything of the Self? Nature is only a projection of the Self, and so, unless the Self is known, knowledge of nature is either distorted or deceptive. The Self is Atma, of which the entire Creation is composed, so knowledge of the Self alone can quench the thirst of man.

Sathyasai Study

How do we practice? 

We just got aware of the importance of the job we have to do. If we think it over and write our thoughts down there is a reflection going on in the mind. If the writer is a job and facilitating it in that way, in a study circle is more efficient, because we sit together and the participator has the job to participate. Why we call it a job, because there is a sense of duty involved, we always try to do a good job and our best and it is not a matter of arguing, but a matter of decision. We take a job and do it, that is the way we can make it experience and learn from it. 

He is telling us here that theoretical wisdom is a burden. And how do we make it practical knowledge? In practicing and in talking about it. We are practitioners and we have to put it into practice that is the main thing, otherwise, it remains theoretical wisdom and a burden. 

That is why we have study circles, it make it possible for everybody to participate and we tell our point of view and go around in the circle, all have to be able to share the thoughts, but it helps a lot if we are aware what we are doing. The facilitator is also a job that makes it possible for the participator, also a job and get in that sense aware of the value of duty and by participating we tell what we think and feel and together we get to the right conclusion and afterwards it is no more theoretical wisdom, it becomes practical experience - that is what we want, that is the main thing, it has to become experience. 

Universal Light of Love

You can light more than thousand candles from a single lamp. Remember only a burning lamp or candle can be used to light other candles. An unlit candle cannot light the other unlit candles. So too only the one who earned wisdom can enlighten others who are in ignorance. One who is not illumined cannot illumine others who are dwelling in the darkness of maya: So you must strive to light your own lamp from the Universal Light of Love and from there transmit illumination to all who seek and strive. All lamps shine alike, since they are all sparks of that Param-jyothi, the Universal Luminosity, which is God. Lamps are many but light is one. Every patch of water on earth has the reflection of the sun in it but the original sun is one. Just as the one sun is seen in a million pots, lakes or wells the one same Divine (Paramjyothi) shines as wisdom in a million hearts.

We have to earn the wisdom, it tells us also that it is not just given, it has to be realized and if we see it in our own life, we feel it and if we have developed a feeling for it without that we are aware of it, but it has changed and transformed into inner wisdom and it is no more only on the thought level and theoretical knowledge. We have to make it our own, we have to feel it.

You can light more than thousand candles from a single lamp. Remember only a burning lamp or candle can be used to light other candles. An unlit candle cannot light the other unlit candles. So too only the one who earned wisdom can enlighten others who are in ignorance. One who is not illumined cannot illumine others who are dwelling in the darkness of maya: So you must strive to light your own lamp from the Universal Light of Love and from there transmit illumination to all who seek and strive.

The Highest and Holiest Spiritual Maxim - Thou-art-That

Utilize your authority over this body to foster the welfare of the world. This body is but an instrument, an implement given by God. Let it serve its intended purpose. Until the Realisation of the purpose for which the implement is given, it is your duty to watch over it vigilantly and protect it from injury and disablement. During winter, woollen clothes are worn to withstand the rigour of the cold gales, but when the cold subsides, they are discarded. So too when the cold gales of material life don't affect us in the least, the material body will no longer become essential. "Thou-art-That" - this is the highest and holiest spiritual maxim! You are the indestructible Atmic principle (Divine Soul). It is to realise and experience this Atmic principle, you have this body! In the process to realise the Supreme Lord here and now, you must take good care of yourself. 

We cannot talk about things we have not experienced. There is a certain integrity in it if we have the experience of it, we don‘t talk about it if we don’t have the experience.

There I was every day in Darshan and wondered what we experienced here, it was love, but the question was for me, why there was that much love?

We knew from meditation how to purify our mind and our thoughts and we knew it was precious, but we didn’t know how to get to one result only, love.  

It means not only insight, but also the right knowledge and it needs to be confirmed. 

I didn’t know that, we didn’t know that. 

Some had to know, but who is talking about it? 

I listened to speeches and look for it, the same message Swami had been talking constantly about, that love, love only, the Atmic principle, it had to be there, it had to be in our thoughts, it had to be in our words, where did it go? 

And we knew that he said, He is the doer and we had to wait.

We had practiced sutras and now all those sutras were in Swami, he was it, he is the doer. That was the answer, that he was the doer, but we didn’t understand how it had switched from being a sutra to being Swami. 

We can see it as reflection. We knew it was Patanjali, that is high wisdom, but what is the highest? 

How do we know, we know only if we listen to him, he knows. 

First we get wisdom, we find sutras and we realize that those sutras are the quality of the divine and they are all in him.

We listen for immortality.

He will not give us what we want, he gives us what we need. I listen to a speaker and he has been a long time with Swami. I begin to listen to get a feeling for it how it has been realized that divine wisdom.

He is omnipresent and omniscient, he can be anytime present, we have to be ready always, because he can be in that very moment present or he can be it also in some years.

Utilize your authority over this body to foster the welfare of the world. This body is but an instrument, an implement given by God. Let it serve its intended purpose.

Light is a Lamp at Dusk

From this day onwards, you must win over everyone through love and compassion. Nara (man) falls into Naraka (hell), through over-indulgence. Senses generally run wild and like raging floods, spell destruction. The festival of Deepavali is to express gratitude at the defeat of the demonic (Naraka) tendencies in humans, which drag them down from Divinity. Naraka is the name for hell, and the demon whose death at the hands of Krishna is celebrated today is called Narakasura, the personification of all the traits of character that obstruct the upward impulses of every person. The home (griha) where the Name of the Lord is not heard is a cave (guha), and nothing more. As you enter it or leave it, and while you are in it, perfume it, illumine it, and purify it with the Lord's name. Light it as a lamp at dusk and welcome it at dawn as you welcome the Sun. That is the genuine Deepavali, the Festival of Lights. 

In my morning Sadhana I went into the sutras as we did years ago, but in the light of how Swami said yesterday seeing it as an inside journey and putting on the light, we just repeated it, but we began with an inside journey. That was the reason why we went for meditation. We did those sutras regularly twice a day for years and in the end I was just a good feeling, but we didn’t get aware that it is ‘He the knower’, we thought we did it and that was not right and if we know it is He anyhow, we can relax and just watch and that feels like home.

When I asked Swami about it and he said years ago in an interview that this is very difficult to understand, that means I didn’t know what it was, but something was wrong. That means the doubt that had been created before was expanding to everything I did before. And in doubt we cannot relax and  if I would have liked to do it so it was not just like that possible and if I felt home with it before, I couldn’t find that home anymore. Even if I tried, I remembered the sutras, but it was not clear and therefore, I couldn’t do it.

The human being is a composite of man, beast and God, and in the inevitable struggle among the three for ascendency, you must ensure that God wins, suppressing the merely human and the lowly beast. Man must know the Universe as basically Brahman or Divine. You and the Universe are one; all are subsumed in the same unique entity. The cosmic vision can be acquired either by watching the Universe or one's own inner Cosmos. One has only to discover oneself. In the citadel of the body, there is the lotus temple of the heart, with subtle akasha (space) within. In it are contained heaven and earth, fire and air, sun and moon, stars and planets - all that is in the visible world and all that sustains it, and all into which it submerges. Instead of rotating round the earth in the higher realms of space and planning to land on the moon or Mars, if only one plans and prepares to travel into one’s own inner realm, what sublime joy and peace can be attained!

Plans to Travel to the Inner Realm

The human being is a composite of man, beast and God, and in the inevitable struggle among the three for ascendency, you must ensure that God wins, suppressing the merely human and the lowly beast. Man must know the Universe as basically Brahman or Divine. You and the Universe are one; all are subsumed in the same unique entity. The cosmic vision can be acquired either by watching the Universe or one's own inner Cosmos. One has only to discover oneself. In the citadel of the body, there is the lotus temple of the heart, with subtle akasha (space) within. In it are contained heaven and earth, fire and air, sun and moon, stars and planets - all that is in the visible world and all that sustains it, and all into which it submerges. Instead of rotating round the earth in the higher realms of space and planning to land on the moon or Mars, if only one plans and prepares to travel into one’s own inner realm, what sublime joy and peace can be attained!

We are a composite of man and beast and in the insights we move between those differences and it is not that easy because we have limitations in the mind and it feels actually quite bad and really scary when we get aware of the beastly level in the insight, it would have no impact on us if it would not be scary, to make the difference between the divine and the beast we have to see it in a certain way and it is often more like a shock than what we think a dream should be or it is that far away that we wonder if it is real. We often omit everything what we don’t like and that is certainly true when it is about the beastly level.

 If he is telling us that we must ensure that God wins, it is about immortality, with other words we pray to never die, we have to suppress the only human and the lowly beast and everything we can think we are we have to transcend anyhow, in the Atmic principle, the I am that, we have the realization of the threefold truth  and it just tells us we cannot transcend those three levels anymore and we are on the level of truth, it is not changing anymore and we cannot go beyond it.

There are again three levels, beast, human, divinity.

The human being is a composite of man, beast and God, and in the inevitable struggle among the three for ascendency, you must ensure that God wins, suppressing the merely human and the lowly beast.

Man must know the Universe as basically Brahman or Divine. You and the Universe are one; all are subsumed in the same unique entity. The cosmic vision can be acquired either by watching the Universe or one's own inner Cosmos. One has only to discover oneself.

Straight, Honest and the Kali Yuga

Some profess that since this is Kali yuga, falsehood alone can succeed. No! In spite of all appearances, honesty is still the best policy. One lie must be couched by a hundred others; whereas uttering truth is the easiest, simplest and safest. Be what you profess to be; speak what you intend to do; utter what you have experienced; no more, no less. It is a hard job to maintain a false stand, while it is always safe to be straight and honest. Do not take the first false step and then be led, on and on, to perdition. Truth is one's real nature and when you are yourself, there comes a great flood of joy welling up within you. When you deny and deceive yourself, shame darkens your mind and breeds fear. You take the path of falsehood because of the Rajasik passions of lust, greed, hate and pride. Contentment, humility and detachment - these keep you on the path of Truth.

Kali yuga and falsehood, finding examples in our life getting aware of it. 

We remember our life experience, there is nothing but that, we have an experience and have to get aware of the feeling of it, it is feeling only. 
We cannot just think that we are it and that's it, would be great if it would be like that.

We have to work on it to become immortal beings, it is not just by believing in the existence of the divine and everything is done and live happily ever after. We only live happily ever after if we have realized that we are immortal beings.

Sharing is Caring and Caring is Loving and Loving is Living, with other Words only Felt Experience is True

To a superficial observer, life appears to revolve around eating and drinking, working, and sleeping. But verily life has a much deeper significance. Life is a sacrifice (yajna). Every little act is an offering to the Lord. If your days are spent in deeds performed in this spirit of surrender, your sleep would be a total immersion in the Divine Consciousness (Samadhi)! Most people commit the great fault of identifying themselves with the body and accumulate a variety of things for its upkeep and comfort. When the body becomes weak and decrepit with age, they still attempt to bolster it by one means or the other. How long can death be postponed? When Yama's (Lord of Death's) warrant comes, everyone must depart. Position, pride, and power - all vanish before death. Remember, you are not this body! It is your vehicle to serve all. Realising this, strive day and night, with purity in body, mind and spirit, to realise the Higher Self.

If we sit in Swami's audience and we listen to Swami's speech, we listen and we understand only sentences and then we agree and think that's the law, that is what Swami tells. I have read somewhere that we can compare it with a balance, it goes down on one side and up on the other side, it was not equal, it was not balanced, one side was up and the other side was down and we cannot seriously think that this is true knowledge if we don't make any effort to realize it.

He talked about that joy when it is about truth and I had that experience of that joy in his presence, in waves it was and overflowing, it seemed like a cup of tea and there was always more tea the cup could take and the feeling was overflowing joy.

The Goal is Oneness with the Divine

The means of getting Divine Grace are: Bhakti (devotion),Prapathi (surrender), Niyama (ethical discipline), Vicharana(enquiry) and Deeksha (determination). When you succeed in these tests, you will experience the grace of the Divine. Devotion should manifest itself in every action. Everything done out of love for God and as an offering to God becomes devotion. The devotee is filled with love and shares the love with all the others. The nine different forms of worship are only means to cultivate devotion. But the goal of all of them is to experience oneness with the Divine. Prapathi means total surrender - offering everything to the Divine. The sense of ego separates the individual from the Divine. When the individual offers everything to God, the barrier of ego is removed. Of all diseases to which man is prone, the disease arising from ahamkara (ego) is the most deadly. The only panacea for this disease is surrender to the Will of the Divine 

Do you know the mantra Soham? If we use it with the breath, So is inhale and Ham is exhale and together is it OM. 

If we inhale it is O and after we exhale it is M, in that very moment is only the body left until we take in the breath again and it is energy. If we are only in the body we know from Swami that we are not that. If we know it from Swami it is still theoretical knowledge, only when we make the experience and we feel it in our own body, it is true for us.

Therefore, we can conclude that the divine awareness is awake in the O and it gets to a close in the M, but in the O it goes on forever, together it is Om. Our normal awareness is in the body, the bod dictates out life. 

If we get aware of the Soham, the mantra of the breath going on constantly in our awareness, we switch and get aware that we are the O and not the M, not the body and it is pure being, called 'sat' and the knowledge and wisdom we acquire  in the divine words and listening carefully is chit and when we absorb it in our own higher self it will be Ananda, Sat-Chit-Ananda.

Our focus is in the body and we live the body if we are not focused on the Soham, the OM and get aware that we are not the body, not the mind, but pure consciousness or the higher self and the 'I am I', but it has to be realized, cognized and the method to get there is contemplation and nobody seems to know about contemplation, there is a vague idea about meditation, but contemplation it totally unknown and it is all what Swami is talking about. They go on adoring his form thinking that is what he wants, when I reality he talks about contemplation only and they don't understand it. From whatever side we look at it we get back to contemplation.

The means of getting Divine grace are: Bhakti (devotion),Prapathi (surrender), Niyama (ethical discipline), Vicharana(enquiry) and Deeksha (determination).

Worse than a Beast

 

 

When the mind of a person is unattached to the ups and downs of life, but is able to maintain equanimity under all circumstances, then even physical health can be assured. The mental firmament must be like the sky, which bears no mark of the passage through it of birds or planes or clouds. Illness is caused more by malnutrition of the mind than of the body. Doctors speak of vitamin deficiency; I will call it the deficiency of Vitamin G, and I will recommend the repetition of the Name of God, with accompanying contemplation of the glory and grace of God. This Vitamin G is the medicine that is needed. Regulated life and habits are two-thirds of the treatment, while the medicine is just one-third. You must reveal the divine qualities of love, humility, detachment and contentment. Else, you could become worse than a beast and in fact more deadly.

 

That was the insight with TM, it was bright sunshine and the air was breaking into pieces and that was the man coming in our dreams to awake us.

We solved all problems with TM and were focused on 'always going on and on' and it felt like undisturbed, beautiful sunshine and then the air was breaking into pieces and it was like transparent glass in the air as air cannot break into pieces, but something was not quite right that was  in the dream and at that time I had no idea that it was him and that he comes in our dreams to awake us, but it was a wake-up call for sure, only it was not so nice on that background of beautiful sunshine only pieces left, there was still beauty in the air, but it didn't feel good, but when he came in the dream to wake us up it was already done and final, I just didn't realize it yet.

Baba said in his thought for the day if peace and right action get separated only pieces are left. That was the answer in his words and the confirmation of the insight; it tells us why there were only pieces left. As he is the knower and only he knows, I had no idea what had happened and on the mind level there was no way to get the right answer, I had to listen to him to get the right answer. He is the knower and I had tried about everything to get an answer and it was in vain as it was in the mind only.

There was no right action and peace were separated and the man who comes in our dream to awake us was again in the dream and they were all puppets on a string and the hand who had made the puppets was not present. There was dependence between the hand and the puppets and it makes us aware that if we learn everything by heart and we do it mechanically like with TM, we get like puppets on a string, he was dictating every step actually and there was some not right action to get that insight that right action and peace are separated. 

As we know from listening to Swami's words the human values are not independent and only pieces left something had to be wrong. 

If we want to make the experience of pure love, we need three things, right action, peace and truth and if right action and peace are separated only pieces are left. That was not great. 

It tells us also that before right action and peace had been put together and that was during the TTC teacher's training, we listened non-stop to tapes explaining the wisdom on the level of science and scientific research and that is based on truth, we had to accept truth and then we had to accept right action and that was purification of the mind is necessary, we need to meditate and there is not only our mind, but all minds and right action was the TM-teacher, getting others also into meditation to purify the mind and get into a state of sathva. If there is no sathva, we cannot listen to his truth, because only Sathva knows truth.

In Swami's ashram is always Sathva, we don't need to meditate to get there, but when he is not in the ashram there is no Sathva and therefore, people have that much troubles to listen, think it over and absorb. Only Sathva knows the truth, if we live our normal live in Rajas, we cannot listen to his words. In the ashram the sathva level is kept with Veda chanting and Bhajans going on regularly.  

The man who comes in our dream to awake us was afterwards present again and now all turned into enemies. We know with the first insight that right action and peace were separated, we know from our own experience that they had been put together first in the teacher's training, we know that he is the doer and that we cannot understand the Atma level with the mind, that means it was not possible to understand those insights, due to not right action, it was still the same reason, but now it was about the result and that is not funny at all, there were only pieces left, when people are puppets on a string they are blind and don't really know what they are doing and the hand was not there, somehow something went wrong in the leader level and the man coming in our dreams to awake us showed that it had turned into hell. 

During an assembly in Italy in the presence of the Maharishi it had been heaven on earth. It was no more, it had turned into the opposite and that was kind of a shock and not knowing what it was and no means of getting right answers. The man who comes in our dreams to awake us was again there and this time it was a black hole in my meditation and that was so scary, it was on three levels, the black hole is a replacement partner, the master was not there, it was projected in the leader and there were the three basic fears, fear because of the relationship not present, black hole and trust lost, because it looked like that, no answers possible in a black hole, no master present going beyond the mind and the fear to lose the mind, to get sick and the fear of death, body level, it was the fear of dying of tiredness. That was no more funny and it was the man who comes in our dream to awake us, but it also shows that on that level we don't get the right answers.

I went on with TM mediation and hoped it would get okay again and that was not possible, I hoped it would go on still because I had to find a better way and I didn't know that it was the man coming in our dream to awake us and if it is about awakening we have to go for it no matter what, our life will change if we like it or if we are ready for it or not.

In that sense it got only worse with the fear coming up and the lost trust and in the end it felt that scared that I was putting Omsairam in front of my TM-mantra and I had totally lost trust in it and I realized I hardly knew anything about it, it was all secret really and we didn't know about mantras and Patanjali and we just trusted and did programs and for some reason it didn't work out. 

In the meantime my whole life was based on TM and I went with the leader to the Maharishi hoping to find a better answer and it was even worse, above him in the air was criminal, but that was more like Darshan, it was standing in the air above his head and he saw it as well, he was aware of it and Nandkishore his right hand saw it as well. After all those those years in between I realize now the shock that really was, because I thought it was okay and I was convinced of it. It was a very scary experience.

Today we understand it. 

It was not possible to get answers on the insight level as it was all only science and no master behind it, he is the knower and with TM we didn't get the truth, it was all summarized in meditate and all problems will be solved, that is why puppets on a string, totally dependent on someone holding the string and if that was not there, it couldn't work. I went on with meditation, but it was a total shock really because I had liked it that much, but nevertheless if there is no master we can listen to and see our own insights in his words and trying by listening to his words to find the right answer, we don't get an answer, because he is the knower, on the Atma level we cannot understand it with the mind and the human values and how they work together is Atma level and not our mind.

I went on with meditation to keep up the systematic Sadhana and the rest had to be understood somehow. It didn't normalize again, but the experiences with TM were nevertheless exceptional and the background of only sunshine was also part of the insight and if there is only sunshine we are unattached to the up and downs of life and it felt like equanimity also at the beginning in Baba's presence, but after he said that it is not the right path and that I should only think about God and I had the feeling of not understanding anything anymore it was gone and the up and downs began again. 

Perfect health was also part of the TM meditation and knowing we could sit down and meditate and solve our problems.  

When the mind of a person is unattached to the ups and downs of life, but is able to maintain equanimity under all circumstances, then even physical health can be assured. The mental firmament must be like the sky, which bears no mark of the passage through it of birds or planes or clouds.

That was the basic insight, the sunshine environment and no clouds and it was breaking into pieces and we know from Swami's words that there are only pieces left if we separate right action and peace.

Illness is caused more by malnutrition of the mind than of the body. Doctors speak of vitamin deficiency; I will call it the deficiency of Vitamin G, and I will recommend the repetition of the Name of God, with accompanying contemplation of the glory and grace of God. This Vitamin G is the medicine that is needed.

We meditated at lot, we had our Siddhis program in the morning and all together it were about three hours or more and we had it in the evening and we had every day center activity and that is the same feeling we get when doing Swami's work, but we have to do it first to get aware of it. If we don't do it we don't get aware of it, we realize it by doing; he is only present if we do it.

Regulated life and habits are two-thirds of the treatment, while the medicine is just one-third. You must reveal the divine qualities of love, humility, detachment and contentment. Else, you could become worse than a beast and in fact more deadly.

That is what we did, we had regulated life habits, we meditated at the same time and the focus was on spiritual activity, it was a total shock that it all was breaking into pieces, I was also not ready for that, who expected that. I don't know why I had that feeling that I didn't understand anything anymore, when before it was even something like equanimity. It was such a shock, I just couldn't find the right answers and what had happened on the mind level and with TM it was not possible to get answers. With Swami I didn't know yet how to do it or I couldn't do it alone, I needed someone to do it and that with Al Drucker also didn't work and there was finally Charles, who only took advantage of it and I guess I have never felt that helpless trying in vain to understand what was wrong because with the mind we cannot understand it. That is why I hoped Charles would help me to find answer when it was the opposite, with him I didn't find any answer anymore.

Else, you could become worse than a beast and in fact more deadly.

That is a warning if we don't live his message and think we know and take only advantage of it, that is the reality I met with Charles, that is the confirmation, we could become worse than a beast, lower, a vampire is worse than a beast and also in fact more deadly.

We should be careful if we listen to Swami's words what we allow the mind to do and what not to not turn into that and we can see it from his words that it is possible to become worse than a beast, a beast is animal level, the demon or vampire is must worse than the animal level and a vampire is deadly, he doesn't stop with sucking our blood until there is nothing left and that is deadly.

We should listen to Swami, he is not talking only about love, that is what all think that he is talking only about love, because they don't listen to him.

This here is a warning and it confirms and explains why we had dreams of Swami with a vampire face and a very long nose. It confirms the nightmare and the constant feeling of danger in the air living with him together in the US; it confirms that if we don't listen to him, it is possible to become worse than a beast and in fact more deadly.

That is a warning and we should listen to his words and not hear only love, when he doesn't talk about love. The mind always thinks everything is clear and understood, but that is only the mind, if we know the Atma, we also know that we don't know it and that the mind never can know it and therefore, we have to listen to him.

Unity consciousness is if we meditate together and in silence would get aware of Samadhi, all are one in a Samadhi, there is no difference, and everybody in a Samadhi is the same. We share the silence, but in silence we do not get aware of it, it is just pure being.

God consciousness is getting aware of the unity between all people as one that is possible if we sing together and it is like a Samadhi, we transcend not with a mantra in silence repetition in the mind, but we transcend the mind together in singing and getting aware that there is only one voice and only one and if we listen to that unityconsciousness, all are one, we also feel Swami's presence and that is the confirmation of it that it is true, but it is only during singing while we are actually doing it, it is in activity, if we don't do it, we will not feel his presence and it is not true. It is just what we think divinity is, our concept of it and that is not it. It is not the real experience of it. It has to be real to be true and confirmed by his presence. Christina

 

 

 

 

Illusion; Wrong Motives Attributed to His Action

Oblivious to the presence of the sacred Divine within, people embark on their quest for God. Avatars (incarnations) are of two kinds: Amsaavatar and Purnaavatar. All human beings are Amsaavatar (partial incarnation of the Divine). Mamaivaamso jeevaloke jeevabhutah sanatanah (In this world of living beings, it is a part of My Eternal Self that has become the Jiva, the individual soul), says Krishna in the Gita. These partial incarnations, caught up in Maya, develop egoism and possessiveness and lead worldly lives. However, the Purnaavatars (complete incarnations of the Divine), subduing and transcending Maya, manifest their full divinity to the world in their lives. The Purnaavatar may behave, according to the circumstances, as if subject to Maya, but in reality He is free from it at all times. But some, not understanding this truth owing to their own limitations, attribute wrong motives to His actions. In this they reflect their own feelings.

There was a feeling of family, it was present due to my ex. He said he had experience with TM and it was not true, he didn't do it. We were with Baba, he looked like he was a spiritual aspirant and it was not true, he didn't care about character, he took only advantage of it and he was living in the room of his former boss and he seemed also involved and that made it real, so many people involved on different levels all the same, that was the trap. Why should it not feel like family, but that feeling is an example of a wrong motive attributed to his action after all, I thought it was real and it was not. 

And I got aware of it that way, little by little, thinking it over and getting to the right insights. 

He talked a lot about his friend and I thought it had to do with TM, as yogis are our friends, in the meantime I know that about everything is dream only and nothing was real and he only took advantage of it. 

I loved my mediation and the big assemblies and mediating a long time and even in my parent's house things changed, my father began with meditation, my sister and my younger brother and for a short while it felt great.

After a while it didn't feel good and I got a book with some vibuthi in it, holy ash and I put it on my tongue in the meditation and it was the first contact with Swami, it was a fine feeling flowing downwards in direction of the heart and it was love and intensified it was present as a very tiny small form of divinity in the heart, that form was dark blue and beautiful.  

Above a annoying neighbor was 'village consciousness' in the air, but it didn't tell why and how, as time went by he came close instead of moving away. 

He sat in front of the door of my parent's house opposite the road and was harassing my life space. Once I had met him and his wife while doing the shopping for my mother and not aware of his bothering us in purpose, I enjoyed even to see them. That is when I noticed for the first time really that he seemed not that happy, he looked through me like I was not existing and that felt not right. 

If we don't like someone, we don't go and live opposite the road in the same village, same street as close as possible to upset, to manipulate and it came up with Swami in the ashram that he was responsible and that is was manipulation only. 

By my family it was ignored, my mother always said, what do you have, there is nothing, they made fun of it, because I was still disturbed by it, but it was enervating no matter what. 

All are One, Be Alike to Everyone

Jnana Yajna is specially recommended by scriptures for all. Jnana does not simply mean knowledge gained from scholars and books, but actually conducting in accordance with that knowledge. Knowledge can never ripen into wisdom so long as the ego persists in craving for results to satisfy its desires. When ego fades away, knowledge shines as Wisdom. When yajnas are performed solely for the peace and prosperity of the world (Loka-Kalyan), they reach God. Jnana reveals that in every sacrifice, God is the Prompter, the Promoter, the Sacrificer, the Sacrifice, the Product achieved and the Recipient of the product. God is the consumer of every sacred offering (Yajnabhuk); He is guardian of the yajna (Yajna-bhrith) and its performer (Yajna krith).He is all; it is only when He is all that the act becomes a genuine yajna. If this attitude can soak into every activity, it will sanctify every moment of your life and make it a yajna.

If we think that thought of the day over we first have to jump over the obstacle of Sanskrit expressions what gives us the feeling we don't understand it. Some days ago he explained very clearly the expression of yajna, the sacrificial rite and sacrificial fire. If God is the goal, God is also the yajna. To get the right feeling for it, a feeling not only an idea, we have to get closer to the universality of oneness and the divine as omnipresent unity and we have to understand that if he is the goal, he is also the source and the path to reach that goal. To understand those words right depends on how much work we have done by listening, thinking it over and now being able to absorb the meaning of it. It is expanding consciousness and it grows and develops with practice.  

Jnana Yajna is specially recommended by scriptures for all. Jnana does not simply mean knowledge gained from scholars and books, but actually conducting in accordance with that knowledge. Knowledge can never ripen into wisdom so long as the ego persists in craving for results to satisfy its desires.

Jnana is usually translated as knowledge or wisdom. A yajna is therefore a sacrificial rite to reach the goal of oneness, the divine. 

If we see it in our own life and take as example a study circle we share our own experience in the circle. The study circle is part of a center activity and therefore, it is a practice in the purpose to reach the divine oneness and as he is telling us here or confirming with his words, if the goal is divine, the source and path to get there is also divine. In the circle everybody tells about his own experience without being interrupted by others, the participants have to learn to listen, what we think over is wisdom and as we know that knowledge through Swami, we listen to his words and we have to think it over. If we would go into discussions and arguing it would be on the mind level and only half a circle and Swami explained that it can go on forever if we don't go deep into the wisdom.

Knowledge can never ripen into wisdom so long as the ego persists in craving for results to satisfy its desires. When ego fades away, knowledge shines as Wisdom.