Twist of Fate and knowing your own Self

It is not easy to know your own Self.
Take the case of the food that you eat. You feel its presence as long as it is in your stomach, but do not know what happens in the stages after that, unless you study in depth about your human body. How then can you know, without effort, the Truth that lies behind the sheaths that encase and enclose you.
You must clear the intellect of the cobwebs of the ego, the dust of desire, and the soot of greed and envy, then it becomes a fit instrument for revealing the Inner Truth.

The Scriptures exhort you to know your Self, know your Inner Motivator (the Antharyami)! For, unless you are armed with that knowledge, you are like a ship sailing without a compass in a stormy sea!

Baba (thought for the day)

 

The Antharyami, the inner motivator, is just what I read about it in the Upanishads the last few days translated by Swami Krishnanada. It was about that first 'mantra' he said if we don't understand it, we don't understand the rest too.

But the Upanishads is really in detail looking at the human and its relationship with the universe and it is great, but it is an illusion to think that we just can tell people to 'live in love' and they will understand it. It is not only in love, but about love, anyhow, that can be understood wrong, because it is love as truth, not only a feeling, but if we live truth, the result is love.
And that inner view I shared with you feels sometimes like 'nuts, now it scares me too.
There is a certain trust in doing that, we don't share the inner view with everybody usually, but in writing it down here actually I do that, I share it, but as nobody knows me, what does it matter?

The job issue, he said that it was not good enough, has taken form now. It means before I was teaching meditation to handle stress, because people accomplish more if they are inside calm.

What do you think that situation here is? Our HR-Manager believes in the opposite, stressing around she thinks people accomplish more, what is not true.

Yesterday she came through the door and it was in her way she looked at the office that she identified herself with it and that she thinks 'that is her work', now it is nearly a catastrophe and it means we have to fight the devil, and I am tired of it.

It is grown in her responsibility and I feel exposed to that.

But, I am actually tired of it. 

Sai Baba tells that the demons are not killed, because they were killed by Lord Krishna, but they are changed.
But how will he change the mind? We can only change a person if we can change the mind and that is impossible, because we are not living in an ashram here. 

They had a very big printer at the first floor. Yesterday someone was constantly going in and out and he said that the printer is gone downstairs and the small new one we got upstairs is too small, nobody knows anything why the big printer is gone. It means it is the management, new printers, but no human values.

What I am exposed to is nothing but stress, that is what I was already fighting being a TM-teacher, only now I am not fighting it, but I am exposed to it.

What is there great about that inner view, can you tell me? 

It means since I am with Baba first I was exposed to mind of my ex, who was greedy ..., (I want, I want, I want, or better give... give..., give..., and Sai Baba told him, I will not give, you need a psychic, I will give. And I have now the great role of that psychic. Instead of getting aware of the 'stress' in it, I have to go through it.

If I scared you, for whatever reason, I am scared now too.

It is naive what is going on here in our work management and I am for sure not able to change it just because I believe in divinity, that is even more naive. 

As little as I was able to change my parents and their minds, and I went always to see them coming back from the ashram.
What changed is my insight, but not their attitude. But yoga has the aim to change the mind, not just to scare people, that is not taking care of the problem. 

And you know if you read the Krishna books and you see the type of demons he had to fight, there was no other means than to kill them and in killing them they get actually free, because it was divinity himself who did it and it is the best what could happen to them, it means just to get rid of the mind.

If you look at it from the inner view, there was no other way...

If Baba tells that demons will be changed and not killed, it is just the talk of love.

The inner sight is as it is, if I see a small blue person and that is the heart and divine and a huge black demon and that is the mind, it doesn't mean that this demon is killed with a weapon, it means that the bad mind gets somehow destroyed, that is why the inner view looks like that. 

If that demon thinks he is invincible, divinity would take the form of that problem behind and it reflects the divine reality that he is bigger than the biggest and smaller than the smallest, it means the divine had a means to go beyond and he knows a way.

All that doesn't feel okay.

I don't want to be the instrument to scare other devotees or other people and I don't want to be the target of demons because I have to change them. That is wired.

I would just like to feel safer. If I would have known what I know today, I would have gone to a small ashram somewhere to feel better. As Amma said to me inside already years ago, 'you look for safety, my path is safe'.

I just want to know what I am doing.

It means since I am with Baba I am looking for safety and I can nowhere find it.

I am not living in Prasanthi and we have no ashrams here, that means we are exposed to what we knew already years and years ago, that this society is sick and that they believe in stress and to see people under stress running around means not that they are more efficient and better, in the opposite.

All that explains to me why the Maharishi has made TM that simple to be able to change some of those people and that probably justifies it. 

And nothing has changed, not in that manner, only my insight has changed, but that is of no use, it doesn't change anything. I am more efficient in just meditating.

It is not done in getting rid of the ego, because the mind is reflected in our environment. We cannot get out of the mind, in recognizing that I changed my name.  

 

You must clear the intellect of the cobwebs of the ego, the dust of desire, and the soot of greed and envy, then it becomes a fit instrument for revealing the Inner Truth.

 

It means we can only see the truth if we clear the intellect of it, but we don't know how to do it.
He tells us always the inner truth is great and wonderful, and we think it is like that, because he is in bliss.
Finally we will get there after years and years of struggle to just understand that inner view. 

If we live in an ashram it is probably enjoyable to see that inner truth, but we live in the world and we have to work and we are exposed to that kind of inner view, tell me - who wants to know that?

It just tells us how stupid the mind is and that everything is wrong and that we should do it differently, and how small we are in the midst of such a society. It tells us why we should go for higher values and human values, but it doesn't change anything.

And it tells us why we should not support that, but live for inner values, not outer crap.

Either I get out of that situation here or I get crushed by it, but there is no way I can change it. It is an illusion to think we can change the world like that. And devotees don't really help each other, they all have enough problems to understand the teaching, nobody understands anyhow.

They know it is right and the Indians they have been living that culture all their lives, they know how to live it, but for us in the West it looks all different.

When I went to India over twenty years ago I hoped to get to a place I would be able to stay and feel somehow okay, and the result is, I am looking for it ever since.

Look at the result of it ... it is more or less exactly what I never wanted. It means in fighting the stress by becoming a TM-teacher I have manifested a situation I am exactly in that stress I was fighting all my life. That we call twist of fate.