Release from Petrification

Offer your heart and your entire life to the Lord. Then your adoration will transform and transmute you so fast and completely, that you and He will be merged into One.

You will be transformed, as a rock is transformed by the sculptor into an idol, deserving the worship of generations of sincere people. In the process you will have to bear many a hammer stroke, many a chisel-wound, for He is the sculptor. He is but releasing you from petrification!

Do not defile time or waste this life and body seeking paltry ends. This life is part of the long pilgrimage you entered when you were born, which may not end even when you die. Never forget this fact. Be pure, alert and humble as pilgrims are. Treasure the good things and the truths you see and hear. Use them as props and promptings for further stages of your soul's journey.

 

I had a dream of an idol in a rock and it was in the sand of the desert and we went together out of it. I didn't like that desert at all. As he tells us here, he is releasing us from petrification.

I don't think I would ever understand all those dreams, visions and insights if I would not be able to write it down. It is in the reflection of it that it gets somehow clear and becomes a real meaning. Often when I interpret it by my mind or intellect it is first wrong and only later I get aware of the real meaning in it. 

That adoration of the Lord is an up and down, sometimes it feels nearer and sometimes it feels far away, sometimes it is juicy and sometimes it is dry.

Merging and being one I mostly understand as meditation.

If I watch the breath and on a certain time there is nothing left but that principle of the mantra or divinity never changing always going on, it is like the never changing point in the always changing.

If I lose that point of focus, I am in the body/mind again and project it onto you and that happens in meditation as well as out of it.

But in reality I know that it is never about changing values, but the eternal being, because without that our life would not be a pilgrimage, but just end there, where we think we go and go for paltry ends.

Therefore, we have to be focused on divinity or 'that' or the higher self or the observer to go beyond the body and the mind.

Last night in my meditation on the breath, it was really focused on only 'that'.

I like to watch the breath and hardly ever use just the mantra as we did with TM. The mantra is with the breath changing between Soham and Hong-So. If it feels more inside, it is Hong-so, if it is more in the observer and in the light it is So-ham, very similar. 

Interesting to see the change and how it switched.

It means 'I am that' and as we know, we are both the same.

This morning my focus went outside again. There was a watch and time, it said twenty to twelve.
In the morning the focus goes outside because it is morning and we go into activity at night it seems easier to go inside. I enjoy my meditations and getting aware of the principle of 'I am that.

I like to see it as a pilgrimage which began when we were born and which will not end with death.

If I would not write all those visions down, I guess I would never be able to understand it.
That happened with TM, there were visions, but they were just like hanging there and never getting clear and that went on like that for a while.

But now in the mean time it got clear after I don't know how many times writing about it and first it was all just searching for a kind of answer and it always seemed to make no sense at all, now it does make sense.

Do you know why it didn't make sense?

Because I had forgotten that it was about manipulation.

The leader had been with someone and she went on course and he said to her that he would not wait.
I came from Paris and didn't know the story and was in no relationship. That was practical for him. He told her he would not wait and soon he invited me to go with him on all those different places and also to the place she had lived before, and the news spread in the movement very fast.

And she came back. I went on course, because I didn't want to be manipulated, but then I realized that it was the very thing what happened with the course, there was no safety.

The national office offered that course, because the other came back and someone told me later how it was decided.
In fact, I wanted to get out of it, because I didn't want to get manipulated and at the same time I was manipulated into a course.

After that there was no safety anymore and the whole thing broke in pieces, they all felt like enemies and the master was not there, the hand holding puppets was missing and that is how it went upside down, the leader didn't know what he was doing.

That they appeared as puppets was because the knowledge was learnt by heart, they also didn't know what they were doing.

It was about manipulation. First the way he made her come back from course and after how they offered a course and that was the very thing I didn't want, I didn't want to be manipulated and that is just what happened. 
Afterwards it felt like all safety gone. 

There was inside a black hole in my meditation and that was the result of it. It had to do with the fact that  it was not the right path and the master not present, instead of light a black hole and trust gone.

Afterwards it was above M. in the air as 'criminal' and Baba asked in the interview, who was my friend and that was so difficult to be understood out of that inner view.
The question was about friendship, that yogis are our friends and friends do not manipulate. It happened because of the master not being there, the others felt like friends, but because of the manipulation they turned into enemies. 

I guess I have never met something more difficult to be understood than that.