Our own Self - Adhyatma

Our own self is the adhyatma, the deepest self in us, which, again, is inseparable, ultimately, from the Godhead. It is the essential essence of which everyone is constituted — you, and I, and everybody, and everything.

As every little ripple or wave in the ocean is nothing but the vast ocean, the secret hidden at the recess of every individual occasion is the adhyatma, the Atman, the self in us, which is incapable of further reduction, beyond which one cannot go, and beneath which there is nothing. The deepest and bottom-most being of our personality is what is called the Atman.

 

:Bhagavadgita

 

Nothing exists beyond the higher self or as he calls it here the deepest self in us, the essence of which everyone is constituted, you and I. That is the essence of 'I am that'.

To recognize the Adhyatma our deepest self is not yet on the level of knowing that it is also the essence of the ocean, it needs some time and reflection and realization to get there. It has to be insight to become the ocean. The deepest self is first seen as ripple and it is a matter of realization to get aware that it is part of the vast ocean and the secret hidden behind is that it is everything and not different from the universal Atman.

After I had met that self as reflection in my inner view in the dream state, I wondered how to go on, because it was all what 'I' wanted, there was no doubt about that. Out of my sight the bad thing about it was, it had no body or only a light body.
How can I want something without body?

That was the first reaction facing the transcendental reality of the object which was no more object, but the merging with the object and resulting in subjectivity and the realization that this had to be realized or understood, no matter what.

There is no other way to live with it, if it has no body but it is only a reflection, it results in knowledge and insights. 

 

And even as the essence of the wave is the ocean, so is the essence of our own personality the absolute. And another mysterious term used here in this connection is karma, a word with which everyone is familiar and which is very much identified with action or the result of action.

But here, in this chapter of the Bhagavadgita, it is used in a special sense. The force which causes the emanation of beings is the karma spoken of here, the power which ejects all particulars, every evolute arising from the central cause.

And all the little karmas that we perform here, your action and my action and anybody's work, is a reverberation, a sympathetic motivation, a continuation, a reflection or a refraction of this cosmic impulse for the great universal purpose.

Here is a secret which carries within its bosom an importance of its own. All action is, in the end, a universal action, and it is not 'your' action or 'my' action. There is, ultimately, no such thing as your activity or my activity.

Every rumbling or little noise made by every wave in the ocean is a work of the bowels of the ocean itself. So does the supreme will operate through every bit of our actions and even the winking of our eyes. The little breath that we breathe is nothing but the cosmic breath pulsating through our individuality; our intelligence is a faint reflection of the cosmic intelligence; our very existence is a part of the universal existence.

 

Why did I chose that text? Because it makes us aware that there is no difference between us.

There are many great insights about the Bhagavadgita, but that part shows the inner connection in a relationship.

As he calls it, every rumbling or little noise made by every wave in the ocean is a work of the bowels of the ocean itself and the supreme will operates through every bit of our action and even the winking of our eyes. But we have to go by the law of Dharma. 

In connection to my ex that means there would have been no reason for separation if he would have taken care of us instead of expecting us to take care of him. The reason he expected us to take care of him, instead of seeing his duty, made it impossible to go on and Baba had told him that he should do his work that it will be a success, but he didn't do it, he always asked, what is my work?

 

If we belong to someone we have a duty, it is quite simple, we take care of it and it is easier if it seen impersonal, we just do it.

But that situation has in return to take care of us that it can work out, everybody has to do his duty, if we belong to a family, we have to participate, but the family in return is our home, that means we are taken care of by the family.

He was that stupid that after seven years being together and after everything he knew about my family, he didn't listen, he didn't hear that I said again and again that I was in that situation, because we had been let down by my family and because he had only one thing in mind that someone should take care of him, he still thought it was possible that this would be my family and that could and would not work out that much was clear. He was looking for a way out of it on the wrong place.

That is why I had the feeling to talk with a wall and when I realized it, I first tried to find a different way, I would have liked to stay, but that didn't work out too. It lead into a nervous breakdown. I had tried about everything to make it work and he didn't see it.

In the end it was that bad, it was impossible to go on like that.  

In his mind my family had to take care of him too and that meant, I had to take care, because my family for sure not and he went to his sister and she took care of him and she took care that he got a new job and work, because he was not able to do it himself and I was not able to make him see it too and Baba also was not able to do it. Instead of putting the Baba dream into practice, he always asked, what is my work?
His sister seemed the be the only one who was actually able to make him do his work, without that he was trying to find other and easier ways to get there in strange funny ideas which couldn't work out. After a while when he just began to talk about it I already knew that he was again in a realm where he got lost in dreams and he was not aware of it.
Our relationship was part of his search for a way in his mind which couldn't work out, because it was only a dream and going to Baba was in the beginning for him the same, it was trying to find work and to get there by means of dreaming that it would become true if he just went there.    

 

The Bhagavadgita is driving us into this great gospel of karma yoga, a principle which we cannot easily understand unless we know what karma is, and why should it become yoga, how it can be a divine aspiration.

We are all afraid of karma, we are frightened by the very word, because karma binds, and so karma we do not want, we want to get rid of it altogether. It is the speciality of the teaching of the Gita that it frees us from this fear of the incubus of karma and tells us that karma cannot bind us, and will not bind, if we know what karma is.

The metaphysical significance of karma here inculcated in the Gita is that it is the will of God operating, it is the creative power of the absolute, that is the visarga, the ejection, the emanation or the proceeding of all things from the cause of all causes.