Village Consciousness

What is needed today is that we should lead a life of good quality. The fostering of sterling character and good conduct is the need of the world. Once we have greater numbers of such people of good quality, the country and the world will become prosperous and peaceful.

Baba

After I read the books of Yogananda Parmahamsa I was convinced that it was better to see in my parents God than to go on as I did before, not understanding them or not being understood by them or whatever that was, only when Baba left the body he said in my ‘insight’ that I had been let down by the family, so there was always something wrong about it.

Our neighborhood was complicated and my mother didn’t want to see it and with her the whole family. If it was my problem or not, they said it was.

I didn’t know how to write about it, because there was no way to understand what had happened and it didn’t make sense to me that my mother avoided it all her life, who would do that, but she did. So I looked at my parents as God, so I didn’t have to blame them, because I was tired of it. I wanted to go on with my life without troubles and live it and not constantly be bothered by family and parents, but it didn’t work that way and why?

That guy had a village consciousness, whatever that was, it was in my inner view as ‘village consciousness, if felt like own small universe. But at the time I knew him I liked it, but that changed fast when I noticed that village was only horizon he ever had and would have. She he married in the village and he lived in the village all his life, he was born around the school and probably he liked something, therefore, he wanted to marry a school teacher, he probably thought she would answer all his questions and later he lived exactly face to my parent’s house and everybody thought it was all okay, but me, because he was that disturbing, I would have liked to do anything to get out of way and he came always closer and Baba said, that was during the time in the ashram that this guy was responsible. And I wondered, how responsible, I didn’t know how to understand it but now I knew that he was responsible. So I began to question it until there was one night in the dream also in the ‘insight’ manipulation only in the air. What was that, what is he doing between me and that wife he had married? As Baba is the insight, he is also the following step and we are in that sense just his instruments. That is why our neighborhood was difficult and it was not possible to talk about it without that the family got nuts. It was just not possible to talk with my family about the neighborhood and that was a problem.  

  

So that is how I realized it was not possible at all to talk with my parents, if they didn’t like it and the neighborhood was like a red flag. So I was glad when the left to Spain, but it was anyhow not done, because that guy was still in my dream and because Baba was the ‘insight’ and the following step, I somehow had to react and on a certain point I didn’t care anymore what my family thought, I just did it. So the parents and the family was of no help facing that manipulating guy in the environment, but I went on following the inner master until it was clear, he was responsible, it was in the dream also as ‘insight’ and soon after he died. Why I don’t know and I didn’t want to know. I was glad that the problem was gone.  

My family was that strange that it seemed not possible to talk to them and with time I just had enough, therefore, it was easier to see them as God. They had a big problem with the neighborhood and projected it on me, now I had the problem. Somehow he had sensed it that he lived opposite the parent’s house and as they had a business and couldn’t move away, he could do that. We were part of the village. Other people just look for another place to live, we couldn’t because of the business, so we were also part of that village consciousness.  

But it felt much too narrow to me. I didn’t like it and it scared me even.

I went always away and left that village behind me, but what was disturbing was that I never felt really home there anymore, because of all those problems with the neighborhood and my family they were not able to face it, they avoided it by all means.