The Holy Farmers and the Nourishing Harvest

Truly speaking, the farmers are holy ones, for they bend under the weight of the service they do. With hands raised in prayer, they toil night and day, converting dust and dirt into nourishing harvest of grain for all people to feed on.

Similarly, the Lord will be very pleased with the harvest of virtues, for it also truly sustains the world. Embark on this holy task from today and make the fruits of your efforts very sacred! Worry and grief will always be there – something or the other from the past, present or future will bother you whether you are awake or asleep. Do not give up your worldly duties, but do them with the Name of the Lord on your lips, inviting the grace of God with gratitude. Then worry and grief will vanish and you will have peace! Also do not involve yourself in the affairs of others and get so entangled that you cannot extricate yourself.

Baba 

 

We grew up in love for nature, but we got used to the city, somehow strange, but that is how it worked out. If we compare ourselves to farmers and we have to take care of the harvest of virtues, because it also truly sustains the world...

 

Do good, be good, see good, that is the way to God. (Baba)

 

What does make the fruits of our efforts sacred? In reality I should live a much more material life and people think that I was stupid to always go for higher values. As he tells us to leave the result to him only, we will see one day if that harvest is really that good, because on the worldly level it doesn't look like that at all.

I am not a person spending all my time in prayer, I meditate and I loved to dance, but both was for me meditation and therefore, sacred.  

 

Worry and grief will always be there – something or the other from the past, present or future will bother you whether you are awake or asleep. Do not give up your worldly duties, but do them with the Name of the Lord on your lips, inviting the grace of God with gratitude. Then worry and grief will vanish and you will have peace!
Often beginning to reflect on a thought for the day, it is like first nothing is present, not knowing where I am going following his thoughts. I am still looking for the person who has managed to put it into practice and that makes passion come up.   

I guess that happened with my ex, I got entangled with his affairs and could not anymore extricate myself. He had a Baba dream and I had to go and make peace with Baba, but somehow, we are still working at it.

Then worry and grief will vanish and you will have peace! Also do not involve yourself in the affairs of others and get so entangled that you cannot extricate yourself.
 

The sorrow of being that entangled that we cannot get out of it is not great. Baba had to come in the dream to get us out of it. That is also worrisome.

Or that I was with TM and the leader was only an actor, that is also worrisome. It means I have been always entangled with the affair of others and couldn't in the end extricate myself.

Even the way I got into the TM thing was with a TM-teacher who used the technique to excuse himself and that is how we got finally entangled in his thing...

The idea was to go and initiate people with him, only it was in France and he forgot to tell that it should be done in French for that purpose. It was secret and hidden and we were told to make sure that everybody would get a good beginning and keep it secret and 'pure'. 

Only during that course I noticed that it was all learnt by heart and that he didn't tell me, because of the policy of secrecy of TM. Who was the bad guy, TM or that TM-teacher? I asked him the question only last year and got the answer that it was not meant to be at that time. 

But it had too much consequences to just be a level of bullshitting ... Afterwards I went ahead without French and the national leader, same age, found constantly a reason to phone and hoped it would be better, because he was personal staff of the Maharishi.

What I didn't know was that the source was already lost, because I went into that TM-teaching business with the other guy who was in France. I forgot about it, but the inner view didn't forget. It said 'cut off', cut off the source, and if we don't know the source, we cannot understand it.

If we don't know the source, we cannot understand it and that is how we got uprooted, but still convinced that TM was good and doing the best for everybody.

That is how I got entangled with the affair of others without even realizing it, thinking it was my own self. I just noticed that something was strange, when we became TM-teachers and it felt like marriage, where was the husband if it was all about marriage?

The national leader was not a friend. Yogis are our friends. (Baba)

He was an actor and with him it broke into pieces. I wondered what could break in pieces if the universe was endless and free, but with TM it broke into pieces anyhow. Now it looks like a big glasshouse that broke in pieces and it felt strange, because the background was sunny and beautiful and it just felt like thin air breaking into pieces, like glass we couldn't see.    

But later I got in touch over the facebook with that long lost TM-connection again and the background came up. He had felt like a soulmate at that time, but in the inner view there was a glasshouse. If we are inside in the glasshouse we think it is as endless as the universe, but if we are outside of the glasshouse, we know it is just a glasshouse, deception, it is not an universal and unlimited level, but a kind of a mind trap or mind prison. There was a car inside the house, but the doors were locked, that is how I knew he would not be able to get out of it, too long time already in it, I guess. He cannot drive the car, his self-power is gone, the doors are locked, that is TM out of the inner view.  
Everybody could be a soulmate in the TM-movement, it just meant we did the same thing, we probably wanted to fly, yogic flying.

With Baba we got aware of the source and that is the inner husband. And because of that reason, the lost connection was present as husband and not soulmate anymore and as divorce and not marriage. That is why - cut off. It was about the beginning, the reason we went for it, we wanted to fly. He was the teacher in the TM Siddhis prep course. He was on the level of husband and it was experienced as divorce. 

In fact, I didn't know to whom I belonged, the reason was TM and the long lost relationship in the TM-movement, when we wanted to fly. 

We had interview and Baba asked the devotee, 'who is that girl, to whom does she belong and what is your relationship?'

I spoke with her about meditation, even though I didn't talk about TM, but it was still in the conviction that we were able to solve problems with meditation and meditated every free moment also in Baba's ashram.

There was that feeling that it was only possible to get aware of it if we would share it and we went to the mountains and we lived in the same English cottage, men and women all together, what was usually not the case in the ashram. I talked about the interview, only 14 days had passed and mentioned the questions Baba had asked and met my ex, who probably noticed that I didn't know to whom I belonged and that was a great opportunity to take advantage of it. He said, I belonged to him.

We don't know, but he knows, so I should follow him and I thought I should follow ex... In trusting in the inner self or divinity or Baba I could go on and he would get me back to the source, that is what it meant, no matter what obstacle we have to face.

I had to realize it in following the inner master in my own life. And I thought that he, my ex, new more and we went ahead and that is how I got entangled in his affair, what in reality had nothing at all to do with me, but that he saw an opportunity to go for it to get a wife he wanted. He went with the idea to Baba that he could just ask for a wife and career and that he will give. And he lived in his friends room and thought that he would get anything he wanted just by asking, so he didn't have the limitations set by room sharing and shed, with sometimes fifty people together, like we all had to face what kept us busy. 

That was a dream.

After a while we went ahead I still lived in the idea we would be able to solve problems with TM, I noticed that he said, that he knew when he began that he would do TM all his life, but he never did it. The affair we were entangled with was - no flexibility.

He sees everything on that level, if he does it once, he has to do it always again, what means no flexibility in the head, because in reality it is not like that at all. But it expanded to all possible levels. If he should hold my hand bag for once, he said no, because of what others might could think. If he had to carry suitcases, because we travelled until the child was two years old, he blamed me for it and said that I was hiding behind the child and if we went to the parents, they had a house in Spain, he thought they should talk care of us. It never ended with his ridiculous ideas.  

It was such a strange way of thinking, after a while I didn't understand my life anymore and just wondered, why that could have possibly happened to me.

The answer is TM, cut off the source, everything secret, thinking we just could go on meditating and all problems would be solved, we perfectly blindfolded walked into troubles. And even if I was never able to say 'yes', because Baba had asked that question and it was not answered with my ex telling that I belonged to him, afterwards, he thought it was not possible to get out of it anymore, because in his mind it was anyhow yes.

But as he was already divorced it meant he couldn't get divorced and married again, even his way of seeing it didn't work out.

We had no relationship, it was a dream only.

 

In the mean time I understand why I was cut off and why the husband got lost on the level of TM-movement. But it needed years and years to get aware and out of it. And behind was the parent's house and the fact that they let us down and manipulation going on not seen by them etc. There was a naive and dangerous parent's house...

What is all that? That are the obstacles coming up. Once we were in the presence of an oracle in Ashland and he said, you might not like it, but you wanted it like that. 

 

Worry and grief will always be there – something or the other from the past, present or future will bother you whether you are awake or asleep. Do not give up your worldly duties, but do them with the Name of the Lord on your lips, inviting the grace of God with gratitude. Then worry and grief will vanish and you will have peace! Also do not involve yourself in the affairs of others and get so entangled that you cannot extricate yourself.

 

It means we should not just live in an ashram or look for a cave in the Himalayas, but do our worldly duties, even if it is disturbed and not as peaceful as we think it should be.

But it doesn't mean that we should not look at what is present and coming up. As we have to realize the higher self in our own life and get aware of it, present in the parents, but not in manipulation, in following the inner master we get aware of the difference. Whatever the reason, why manipulation, maybe he was unhappy, maybe because it began with our relationship and in our family, it said once inside that he had learnt it there, the manipulation. He learnt it with us, but he had no good intentions. And it was constantly disturbed, a constant present disturbance in my parent's house. I was not able to ignore it and all others made fun of it and that was the effect of the manipulation, he disturbed the environment in which I grew up.

After Baba said, follow the inner master, fight to the end, finish the game, in the interview room, I began to wonder how I had to follow the inner master and by that I began to ask questions.

How could I follow the inner master, if I didn't know where he was and so I began to question the situation and by that it came up that the neighbor was manipulating and that he was not innocent and harmless, like my family would have liked it to be because of shame and pride. 

It didn't change the situation just because they avoided to look at it, but I was let down by them, because they always made fun of it as I felt disturbed by that guy in the neighborhood. It had a kind of traumatic influence, because first it resulted in nightmares. Something felt wrong and nobody wanted to see it. I tried to make the best out of it and went as far away as I could, got homesick and came back, just to leave again. 

He died about nine years ago and the inner master said, 'harm set, harm get'. He has disturbed our life quite badly.

Mother refused to get aware of it and with my father we couldn't talk, he was only interested in his business an he left everything else to the mother.

It was just not possible in my parent's house to get aware of it, as little as it is possible to talk about it on a family level. 

The inner master said that my brother did the worst he could do and I didn't know what it was, but I had to follow the master and fight to the end. 

In asking him what he did, I told him what I had learnt in the insight with Baba in the mean time and that it was all different as the parents wanted to see it and it had to do with manipulation. He began to abuse and to make fun of it, without a second thought.

That reflection of the mother's attitude and her mind, which is still reflected by him, influenced the whole family and made us look like stupid and strange, when in reality it was the opposite, kind of a shock. And the inner master said, if a mother falls, all children fall with her, whatever that means.

But one thing it means for sure, it is not ended, because it will always be there. My younger brother believes in the ways the mother said it was, even if it makes his life all upside down and destroys our family relationship.

But that are also my affairs, not only his, but still he sees it in such a distorted manner that it is not possible to talk. There is nothing to tell, if he talks, we wish he would shed-up. That is not a level we can share experience.

The mother wanted to mend and redeem the situation in our parent's house and was constantly searching for confirmation that it worked, even if she avoided by that to look at reality. It was a lost fight, because she lived for an illusion, but my brother is going on on in that illusion. She was attached to whatever ...

I have two brothers and a sister. The others are more open. They know that it was not okay.

My mother wanted to close both eyes and said, but what do you have, there is no problem..., look at the beautiful flowers and the sunshine and the grass is growing..., you should not and by that conclusion we were blamed for their mistakes, because afterwards it was our mistake if we were not able to see it as perfect sunshine.

It is not only difficult to get aware of it as every boy ignored it, but it seems impossible to made the others aware of it. 

That means we have hardly any family connection, because they are that difficult and tensed when we are together, that we are glad afterwards to not see each other for a long time.

My younger brother goes on seeing it his way and there is nothing we can do about it. I guess I should be worried about him, because there was incest in the air, that means he goes too far and is not aware of it, but we also cannot change it. I tried to do my best and now I don't entangle in his affairs.  

His mind is upside down, mother made it look like that, even though it was naive and the father, as she was probably always on his side, enforced it and that makes it dangerous.

There was no discrimination, no awareness, just an apparent harmony, which was not real. The family doesn't work, doesn't function, we hardly have any family connection, because it is too troublesome when all that is coming up again. The mother thought she could close her eyes in front of reality, but what she got by that seems rather to be the opposite, it made the family not functional. The result is a non functional family. It just doesn't work that way. 

 

 Also do not involve yourself in the affairs of others and get so entangled that you cannot extricate yourself.

 

That sentence makes us first think - 'just stay out of it!' But it is not that easy, because if we listen only and do not respond, it is Tamas, dull and dark and if we stay out of it and keep silence only, it is Tamas and dull. We have to act but the right way. 

This sentence is very important. We should not entangle in others affairs. Baba doesn't tell us what we have to do.

But if we just listen it is dull, Tamas. If we respond and are not aware of it, it will be passion (Rajas and mind level). How do we get to his divine presence and Sathva? It is the circle. We have to be aware that he is the circle and by being a circle we share and stay out of it, it is both. That makes the circle, we have to go through all three levels consciously aware of it to get to his reality.  

Out of the example I just mentioned we can see that we get entangled and cannot extricate ourselves, if we are not aware of it.

Discrimination - first. Seeing it in our life - second. And going on and on no matter what obstacle will be there - third. 

Only if we use discrimination we know how to not get extricated in other's affairs. If we are not aware of it and scared, we avoid it, but that is not what Baba is mentioning here, because that is Tamas and what Arjuna tried to do in the Bhagavadgita, he didn't want to fight.

 

TM was the prefect example how to give power away to a secret, hidden force, we don't know and never will know.

If we allow that to happen, we give our power away and get entangled. That whole TM-system, a pyramid, is made to get entangled, lost and controlled by TM. I couldn't extricate myself without Baba, because it was in such a situation, it was mirrored in the relationship with my ex.

There was no way to know to whom I belonged.

And after all those many years and troubles when I finally exchanged thoughts with the person involved, he didn't get it. He had no suggestions, no questions, no sense of responsibility. He only had stupid answers, which he had learnt by heart, being a TM puppet and he said again and again that he doesn't understand it, but he doesn't know how to use his intellect anymore, because he asks a question and expects an answer, but he is not able to find the answer in himself. 

He thought it was in the past and not the right time, an answer we always can give, if it is right or not, and now it should be the right time ...? For how long, until it is changing again because of his mind... that is TM.

The inner master said that they are all like that, we have no case, (because they talk themselves out of it and find excuses ... hiding behind TM). If we go into TM we are entangled with TM affairs to the extent that we cannot extricate ourselves anymore.      

 

Similarly, the Lord will be very pleased with the harvest of virtues, for it also truly sustains the world. Embark on this holy task from today and make the fruits of your efforts very sacred!

 

We cannot make the fruits sacred if we are avoiding it. We have to be aware of it to be able to stay out of other's affairs.

It is like in the study circle, each one tells his thoughts and we share. We listen and we share and get aware of the circle, the other is the mirror, but we don't correct and impose our opinion and get entangled in the others affairs or by putting the others in question, trying to entangle the others in our affairs. 

If we do it right, we feel the divine presence of the Lord, he is alive in the light of the circle. It means we have to go through all three levels to complete the circle and to get the experience of him, to be able to merge with the sweet bliss of divine reality.