Have faith in the Lord or the Divine Spark within you, it will vitalize you.
Some people bargain with God, they promise to give Him costly articles or their own hair if a certain illness is cured or a certain calamity is averted. Lord Venkateshwara or any other form of the Lord does not need your hair. Shaving off your hair indicates that you have lost the delusion that physical beauty alone counts. You take the effort to make yourself wilfully ugly and demonstrate that it is inner charm and harmony that really matters.
The hero is he who does not beg or cringe or flatter or fawn. He knows that the Lord knows best. If it is His will, He will grant food and raiment; if not, let His will prevail. That is the path of absolute surrender.
Baba
Life is the best teacher. And it is about inner view. It is not what we think it is. It is an illusion to think that inner view reflects on the level of the eye and our senses and that it just will be clear and all will be answered. Inner view is in our awareness, like getting aware of the difference between light and darkness.
With the inner view we get aware of the difference between Sathva, Rajas and Tamas. If we see something we think it is good in the inner view as the total opposite of good, we face the reality how we can make things look at the outside different than they really are, but we see it out of the inner view.
It is quite a challenge, it is the level of realization. We can also think it is a reason to celebrate that we are actually able to see that difference inside like that and that we can get aware of it.
It is not about differences, it is about truth and it has to do with seeing and that is connected to light and colors.
If there is an ocean of light, there is also the opposite, the question is just how we get the experience of the ocean of light and how we get aware of the opposite.
It is the challenge to put inner seeing into words, what is kind of difficult, because it can lead to wrong conclusions and it can be misunderstood.
If we take it as it comes and make the best out of it, we just go on no matter what obstacles are there, and if we still have to understand it, we have to go on, because that is meant with no matter what obstacles are there, even if it sounds strange that we go on, even if it doesn't make sense first, but we hope that it will make sense in the end.
What usually happens is, we get aware why it sounds strange and we see that difference between appearance and reality.
There is a difference between realizing that it is upside down just on the level of the intellect or understanding or seeing inside as upside down.
By writing it down we get aware of that difference.
You take the effort to make yourself wilfully ugly and demonstrate that it is inner charm and harmony that really matters.
The hero is he who does not beg or cringe or flatter or fawn. He knows that the Lord knows best. If it is His will, He will grant food and raiment; if not, let His will prevail. That is the path of absolute surrender.
Getting aware of it is the aim, to understand it right and not wrong and to get that discrimination based on the insight.
Have faith in the Lord or the Divine Spark within you, it will vitalize you.
On that level the faith is that it will vitalize us, because it felt in a sense like loss of energy, no more strength, because it leads nowhere but to the insight of truth and what? Truth that it is difficult to understand or truth that it hardly can be understood but that we have to get there anyhow. Truth is that if we write it down and get aware of it, that it looks all different? Or is it about the truth that we need courage to go for it?
Baba's presence inside during that time when he left the body was about vitalizing from inside. I was scared of everything happening on that level, probably because he left the body, I had an all different relationship to him only inside and I also didn't understand it, I had to see it.
In my head I wanted to get away and go sightseeing to just change it, because it felt too sad. But I didn't go, even if it was the worst I could think of, because it was about insight and inner view and there was that feeling of energy. It was just energy, but I knew I had to go on no matter what.
That is how it was seen in my own life, because out of a distance it feels different again. We were just part of what happened on the outside and I was just there and part of it, because it was sad for everybody.
Baba said, without enthusiasm, courage, devotion, energy, readiness and sincerity, nothing can be achieved.
But for me in that moment what mattered was the decision to stay and to go through it no matter what, even if scared, even if not getting the room, even if not feeling okay and everything was not as expected, even if it got us totally to the limits of what we could take, we went on and we didn't go for a distraction of the mind and sightseeing.
Trying to avoid it because it was sad, doesn't make sense when it is about self-realization.
It is about the inner focus. I want self-realization and not sightseeing, but in that moment, when it felt that difficult to go on and to go for it anyhow, even if it was difficult and even if I asked myself if it was not just foolish what I did, with all the obstacles present, just feeling that energy and being ready to go for it anyhow, no matter what, that was important.
Baba said, "When there is a path, there must be a name and a form.
Divinity is beyond name and form, so there is no path to Divinity. The only thing is realisation. If you know this, that will sufficient unto itself. There is no path."
On the airplane on the way to Prasanthi there were dreams about job. He said I would lose the job, and there was also a question about retirement.
I came back and was convinced that I would lose the job. I waited for it that I would lose the job and he said, not yet.
Three years later and we still didn't lose the job, but I was that convinced that I would lose the job ...
One day Swami visited that campus. While He was there in His car, He saw a student standing under a tree. It was mid-day and that boy wore a long, serious face. Long, serious faces upset Swami. (Laughter) Long serious faces are 'allergic' to Bhagavan. (Laughter) He wants smiling faces. That's why He always appreciates foreigners. They always have smiling faces. All of them smile well. Swami likes to see their faces.
Watching that young man, who had such a long, frustrated face, Bhagavan felt upset. He stopped His car and asked, "Hey, boy! Come here. Why are you so unhappy?"
"Swami, just now I appeared for an interview. They asked some questions. I could not answer them, so they asked me to leave. I am badly in need of a job. I'm very much disappointed. I pleaded with the director to reconsider my application. He said, 'Get out of the room!' I'm helpless, Swami."
Swami took pity on the boy. "Act according to My advice."
"Swami, I'll do it."
"OK! How did you come here?"
"Swami, by a bus."
"Did you spend your own money?"
"No, Swami."
"How did you come here?"
"The Institute paid a travel allowance. With that money, I could reach here."
"Was that money enough for you, or do you need more?"
"Swami, they sent me enough money. I still have a balance of eight rupees."
"Oh, I see. Now I will tell you: Boy, stand here. The Director of the Indian Institute of Sciences will come by here in his car. You say, 'Sir, Sir!' Then he will ask you, 'What do you want? Get out! You are not eligible for a job.' He will say that to you; but you tell him, 'Sir, I am not asking again for a job. You paid me twenty rupees toward my travelling expenses. I spent twelve rupees. I still have a balance of eight rupees. I have been waiting here to give you that balance.' You tell him that and then you'll see." (Laughter) Swami left, the mischievous God! (Laughter)
As expected…."Director, Sir!"
"Get out of here!"
"No, Sir. I am here to give you the balance left from my travelling expenses."
Then the Director said, "We want just such boys in our Institute. (Laughter) We want boys of honesty and integrity. Come and join our staff this afternoon, OK?"
Swami had stopped His car at the end of the road to watch the boy. This boy ran and fell at His Feet. "Swami, I got the job!"
"Yes, when you follow My command, when you follow My principles, when you have character and integrity, you'll get a job anywhere. You'll be successful anywhere." That's what Bhagavan said.
Watching that young man, who had such a long, frustrated face, Bhagavan felt upset. He stopped His car and asked, "Hey, boy! Come here. Why are you so unhappy?"
"Swami, just now I appeared for an interview. They asked some questions. I could not answer them, so they asked me to leave. I am badly in need of a job. I'm very much disappointed. I pleaded with the director to reconsider my application. He said, 'Get out of the room!' I'm helpless, Swami."
Swami took pity on the boy. "Act according to My advice."
"Swami, I'll do it."
"OK! How did you come here?"
"Swami, by a bus."
"Did you spend your own money?"
"No, Swami."
"How did you come here?"
"The Institute paid a travel allowance. With that money, I could reach here."
"Was that money enough for you, or do you need more?"
"Swami, they sent me enough money. I still have a balance of eight rupees."
"Oh, I see. Now I will tell you: Boy, stand here. The Director of the Indian Institute of Sciences will come by here in his car. You say, 'Sir, Sir!' Then he will ask you, 'What do you want? Get out! You are not eligible for a job.' He will say that to you; but you tell him, 'Sir, I am not asking again for a job. You paid me twenty rupees toward my travelling expenses. I spent twelve rupees. I still have a balance of eight rupees. I have been waiting here to give you that balance.' You tell him that and then you'll see." (Laughter) Swami left, the mischievous God! (Laughter)
As expected…."Director, Sir!"
"Get out of here!"
"No, Sir. I am here to give you the balance left from my travelling expenses."
Then the Director said, "We want just such boys in our Institute. (Laughter) We want boys of honesty and integrity. Come and join our staff this afternoon, OK?"
Swami had stopped His car at the end of the road to watch the boy. This boy ran and fell at His Feet. "Swami, I got the job!"
"Yes, when you follow My command, when you follow My principles, when you have character and integrity, you'll get a job anywhere. You'll be successful anywhere." That's what Bhagavan said.
He also said during that time when he left the body, personal staff. I was living in front of the ashram door in an A/C room and felt overwhelmed by everything what happened and it was only sad. It was like a dream when he said personal staff, I would have liked to be in the ashram. He said personal staff and I didn't even get our room, that was my inner response.
But today it looks different and it does make sense. It is about the job issue and the personal staff means, that is the job.
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