Self-Realization

They are, according to the Veda, four stages - the waking, dream, deep sleep, and the liberated stage (turiya). In the first stage, one is awake to the objective world and is oriented outward. Since one identifies with the gross body complex at this stage, the experiences are also gross. In the dream the self is in-faced. Reactions, responses, and experiences are all self-contained. They do not belong to the area outside of oneself. Next comes deep sleep (sushupti). This stage is free from even dreams. There is no feeling of either separation or identity, the particular or the universal, experiencer or experience. There is only the Atma, in which one has temporarily merged. In the fourth step (Turiya), the individual is no more so. It has attained the basic truth of life and of creation. Those who have reached this step no longer have concern with the individual self. These are four states one experiences, but they are also stages one has to go through in search of Self-Knowledge.

Baba

Why is there a good feeling, because it is temporary merging like it was after the Darshan with Baba. It is like Darshan, only this time we listen to his words and he is the word, first was the word and the word is with God and God is the word. 

We feel it afterwards, it is like with meditation, we take it as it comes and it is present afterwards. Even if it is temporary, it is still present and we should know the difference between the waking stage and the dream stage and the deep sleep state in our own experience. It is not only about the states of conciousness, we can merge also when we are actually awake and that happens quite often during singing, the fourth stage we know from the Darshan that is his reality, never changing and always the same.

They are, according to the Veda, four stages - the waking, dream, deep sleep, and the liberated stage (turiya). In the first stage, one is awake to the objective world and is oriented outward.

It is about the turiya stage. We meditate to make that experience and by that we purify the mind and consciousness and we were with Baba looking at him walking around gracefully in Darshan and sitting there at his feet just waiting for him, what beautiful time and he was in the body and now that body is gone and we have to find him still around us because he had never been that body. Of course, he is present in the veda chanting and the Bhajans in Prasanthi Nilayam, he is still alive, it was only our mind which was not able to realize that it was illusion on the body level. If we go deep into his wisdom, he is there, he is present.

They are, according to the Veda, four stages - the waking, dream, deep sleep, and the liberated stage (turiya). In the first stage, one is awake to the objective world and is oriented outward. Since one identifies with the gross body complex at this stage, the experiences are also gross.

As we have been meditating for years, we know the difference between the waking, dream and deep sleep state and we know we develop the fourth stage with meditation and we have the experience of it with Baba.

In fact everybody seems to search for self-knowledge and only if we get to the core of it we feel his presence actually. 

 If we stay in the mind it is possible to listen to devotional singing and we are still not aware of his presence. If I don't feel his presence, I get quickly bored and I prefer not to go but the feel the absence of him. 

I wonder how it was to sit always first row and not to have to wait like others, but he came to you. There was a difference, only that different experience is also the same on that level and the same for all, even for Baba when he is in the body.

We all experience the four stages, waking, dream, deep sleep and the fourth stage is actually what we want.

In the first stage, one is awake to the objective world and is oriented outward. Since one identifies with the gross body complex at this stage, the experiences are also gross.

The waking stage is anyhow what we loved best and it was on the level we were with him Darshan as he was in the body, but he always said that he is not the body and those words help us to get aware of the differente stages. 

The Darshan was outside as he had a form and he walked around in Darshan, he told us that we are identified with the gross body complex and that the experiences are also gross and we were still identified with the body on that level and everything what happened during that time. It is still the same for all, there is no difference if we were sitting on the veranda or not.

In the dream the self is in-faced. Reactions, responses, and experiences are all self-contained. They do not belong to the area outside of oneself.

And why he said that he is the man who comes in our dreams to awake us. When he said that he talked about the dream stage. There is the stage we know all and that is the waking stage, but the dream stage is less known but we got aware of it with him, because he is the man who comes in our dreams to awake us. 

He is in his words, he is the principle behind those words and if we listen to it we also get Darshan right now in the presence of his truth in the words. 

He gave Darshan always twice a day and we could go there and we got a room and we sat in the Darshan and looked him gracefully walk around and it was great.

To remember Baba’s words is also today a good feeling and  so it is to find him in his words and we also feel is after the study circle. 

He told us how it happens, we just have to listen and we have to be ready to hear it. 

It is the oneness in his presence and if we are aware of it or not, but it is in the sharing with others.

It is why he said, 'you and I are we’, that is also true during Darshan, it is the same if we sit in the circle and study his wisdom. He is the man coming in our dreams to awake us, and it is about that truth.

We want to get a Darshan, we have to go by his words. ‘You and I are we’, in whatever situation we are if we are together it is first about 'you and I are we'  and whatever we do together, but it is the same, but thinking over his words we get aware of it and that is still more fulfilling if we know it is right than when we only think it is right, but we don't know. If it is about all the people in Darshan, it means everybody and Baba is we and the next step is, 'we and he is I', it is the we on the waking stage and he is the dream stage and that is I and that is the merging or oneness and fourth stage. 

The third stage we experience if we are aware of it or not, but it is a temporary state of merging and not yet permanent. In that situation we also find his divine presence. 

We always take a meditation as it is and we don't change it or we do not expect anything from it, it is purification of the mind and it is depending on our mind state. 

Probably you remember if you have meditation experience what was said about meditation and that we never judge a mediation and not the way it was mattered, but how we felt afterwards that mattered. 

It is kind of the same with the study circle, not the circle matters, but how it feels afterwards.

In a circle we also have the principle that ‘you and I are we’, it is a sharing experience in the waking stage of a circle of people and ‘we (the circle including Baba, the waking state) and he (divinity, Atma, the divine principle, dream stage) is I’ (merging, unity, turiya state when the I is realized as permanent truth). 

It is that, it is always the same ‘truth’, never changing, we find in his words. 

If we are in a circle it is for all the same, no difference, ‘you and I are we’, what is the same is 'we' and that is the waking stage. The the following step is, ‘we and He (the divine principle) is I’, that is how we get to self-realization.

And we find the key to the divine presence.

Whoever is part of the circle, there is no difference and also the second stage is always the same and only if we see it in different situations we get aware of it that it is about the principle, but getting aware of the divine principle is on the knowledge level, it is about insights. We share in a study circle the divine principle and that is He and only if we go deep into it, we will find his presence otherwise, we stay on the surface of it and it is only half a circle and we stay on the mind level. 

It is Veda and always true and since ages master teach that truth of the divine principle, but in the sharing is his presence, in the ‘we’ and ‘He’ and that is ‘I’, that is where we find the divine presence and that love we are longing for.

People look for it all over and some try in other ways to fill out the inner emptiness because they cannot find it. It is in sharing truth, it is in his words as he said truth is my breath, if we find truth in his words, we find also his form and that is love and if we find his form, we also find the bliss. 

Love is my form, truth is my breath, bliss is my food. (Baba)

The dream stage is in-faced and always self-contained. It is inside only and not outside. We share that inside level with others when talking about the dream stage and sharing experiences in the circle and Baba’s words have truth in it. Atma reflects in the dream stage, actually not on the mind and body level. 

The Atma reflects, reacts and resounds. 

The relative world is reflecting in the light of the non-changing absolute and in images and that is what we see as insights and if we read his words we find truth in the reflection of it.

I remember those Baba Darshans after I went back to the room and still listened to that inner voice of his. He is not gone, Baba is still present, he left the body, but he was not the body, he is present in the truth which is in his words.

Next comes deep sleep (sushupti). This stage is free from even dreams. There is no feeling of either separation or identity, the particular or the universal, experiencer or experience. There is only the Atma, in which one has temporarily merged.

We experienced  it during mediations and during Darshan, it was present as that temporary merging and I was constantly closing my eyes when he was giving interview or when he was with his students and he came out again on the veranda. I usually didn't go for breakfast, I was just there closing the eyes and I was in meditation. And I tried to not miss it when he came out again. That was a temporary merging, we closed the eyes and just listened to the inner silence and I was a lot of time in meditation.

 In the fourth step (Turiya), the individual is no more so. It has attained the basic truth of life and of creation. Those who have reached this step no longer have concern with the individual self.

That is the reality we met in the divine presence, what we know as non-changing truth. The fourth step is realized if we don't get out of it again and it doesn’t change anymore and that is when we realize it is the higher self, there is nothing but 'that'. 

After we get to the insight that it is all the same, it cannot change anymore.

These are four states one experiences, but they are also stages one has to go through in search of Self-Knowledge.

In these worse he is telling us that actually the search for self-knowledge doesn't stop and why not? It is going on, it is the dream stage. As it is all aobut dream and self-contained in the dream, it is for sure not in the mind. 

The mind is the obstacle, therefore, we have use the mind for purification only and service to him so that it is not an obstacle anymore. 

If we are attached, the mind is holding on to that and creates by that an obstacle.

On the outer level and in the mind we can tell it is all done, we know we do Sadhana to purify the mind and to serve and that is done, there are no more questions, but in the dream stage the insights go on, they will go on, because the Atma reflects, reacts and resounds.

But that is also the level we experience truth again in his words. 

‘We and He is I’ – it is always true, no matter in what situation we are, it is always true and for everybody the same. There is no difference. 

At the beginning it were less people. When I went there we had sometimes only seven rows and there was still the Darshan place and the sand in front of the mandir and it was that beautiful. And I couldn’t remember it anymore, it was overshadowed by the experience with my ex. The experience is a dark or nearly black cloud and it had been there a long time before we know now why it has been there. One day I woke up and I noticed that above me were such dark clouds, they were black and actually only now I know why. At that time I had no idea what is was and why, I just knew it was black, only now I know why it was black and what it actually is. 

We went back to Baba for some months and as he ignored the man who is in our dreams to awake us, it went on and on over years until it was done and that is why it was that black. So the dark cloud and darkness in the sky was ahead years before in the insight, it was nothing but darkness, he ignored Baba's inside guidance.

That is what we have to get aware off to be able to remember the good times again and the time before we had met and he brought in our life only falshood and not right action and no peace, what measn violence and it was the opposite of Baba's teaching and looking back it feels like a disaster, it is a catastrophe.
It destroyed it, the darshans, the beauty and I thought it was not possible to be destroyed, it was not possible to remember it anymore.
It is not only the time we had been together, but also the time afterwards getting aware of it which is only dark and it goes on in him, his attitude after we left and his attitude towards what Baba said in the inner view, he ignored it all and it is going on still today, he is not a devotee, he is just pretending to be one, no matter what it looks like at that outside, but he is not a devotee.

It is what we had to face in him since we left, there is no devotion in him, no light and no love, no understanding for Baba’s Lila and no self-realization. He is trapped in the mind and goes on in that trap, he is not able to let go, he went like that to India already and that is reflected in the books he sent to us and even beginning of this year, when he quotes stuff about ‘think and get rich’ it is always the same old stuff again.

We had a great time and great Darshans and that is how I got into that relationship.
I just went on meditating all the time and I thought it was all part of it and that is the way we had to get aware of it that it was not.

After we came back we had to be here and as it seems we were also let down by the family, it was not anymore possible to go to India for longer time and to be in Baba’s presence as we had been before. It was never the same anymore and after a certain time I had to accept it and it was not possilbe anymore and I knew I wouldn’t find it outside anymore, if I would be able to find it so it had to be at the inside and in the dream and that is actually what happened afterwards.

These are four states one experiences, but they are also stages one has to go through in search of Self-Knowledge.

We have to go through those stages in search for self-knowledge.
What does that mean? 

We have to know the difference between waking stage and outside Darshan and dream stage and inside Darshan and we have to know what it means to temporary merge with him and what is the aim of self-realization that it will and cannot change anymore.

When we realize that it is all our own higher self only and the level of our own higher self present in the words also of Baba, it reflects in his words and there is no difference, how can there be any change?

It will always be the same conclusion no matter what and it is for everybody the same and that is why Baba told us in the interview room, ‘why are you here?’

We didn’t know the answer, so he answered, ‘self-realization’.