The Screen, the Watcher and the Lesson

Consider the example of a cinema; on the screen we see rivers in flood, engulfing all the surrounding land.

Even though the scene is filled with flood waters the screen does not get wet by even a drop of water.

At another time, on the same screen we see volcanoes erupting with flame, but the screen is not burnt. The screen which provides the basis for all these pictures is not affected by any of them.

Likewise in the life of man, good or bad, joy or sorrow, birth or death, will be coming and going, but they do not affect the Soul (Atma). In the cinema of life, the screen is the Soul (Atma). It is Shiva, it is Shankara, it is Divinity.

When one understands this principle, one will be able to understand, enjoy and find fulfilment in life.

Baba (thought for the day)

 

Look at the pictures, the movie of our life and get aware that it is just a passing by scene. But how do we get able to do that if we are involved in the passing scenes?  

When I went to TM and began to meditate regularly it was a great feeling because we meditated a lot. By that meditation the insight became more clear. It was already there before, but not that clear.

There was a beautiful melody out of the heart of all hearts and it was just love and it was projected into another TM teacher, who was the course leader. By that projection I thought it was the answer to my problems and that TM was the right path. But it was projection and later I realized, I didn't learn anything about projection.

I did those courses, inspired by that TM-teacher who appeared as soulmate later on, but in the mean time he was in another country. After the teacher's training it felt like 'marriage'.

I was in a center and began to work with the NL. He called and said that M. wanted me to look for another big hotel for courses and that way he was in constant contact with me.
I thought already at that time that it was strange that the M. who left soon after the country, wanted a hotel. He had another focus and that was a personal relationship. Thinking that the M. was behind I went on and it lasted not long I felt 'exposed' to him. Now what did expose me to him?
Was it because he said that M. wanted a big hotel, what was not true and he used M. to get into a personal relationship or was it because the source was lost? 

The source was the beginning and connected to that person I went into TM, that soulmate, who was in another country and it was because of that experience of the beautiful melody coming out from the hearts of all hearts.

He felt like soulmate. But with Baba we get aware of the source and the source is 'husband'. Therefore, there was actually that experience 'marriage' after the teacher's training, but where was the husband?
Not being aware of it 'exposed' me to everybody, there was no limitation and M. said also that we could get married with everybody, no difference.
It is not possibile to know, if we don't know who it is. We just went ahead in direction of the highest and that seemed to be M. and the national leader.

Not long ago I got in touch with that 'soulmate' guy, a TM-teacher, I had met when I began with TM, he was in the facebook.
Baba made me aware inside that it was about 'husband' and I had to be careful, because it was about an insight and not as he thought about relationship, because I am not anymore into TM. But it was strange and I didn't understand it.

And he didn't understand Baba and what I was talking about, he was used to TM and thought by learning by heart he knew everything. I got constantly the feedback, I don't understand it and finally it felt like 'divorce'. The inner master got me even into court and there it said that all stupid people are like that, not taking responsibility for it, making it look different than it really is.

Of course, that guy was an instrument, but still he was the source and instrument or not we got fooled into it thinking it was something else than it really was. He promised things which afterwards never happened and afterwards we were trapped and couldn't get out of it anymore.
He had learnt that knowledge by heart like all others did, but he made me go on course, because I thought we would be teaching together, if it worked out or not, that was not the question, it was just the question of the right direction. That he was at the place of 'husband' shows his role and his responsibility he would have had, if he would have been there and aware of it.
But he was not there and he was not aware of it. He wanted us to teach together after the course, but he was French and it was all learning by heart and I did it in German and when I realized that he didn't tell me under the pretext of secrecy, it was anyway the end of it. It felt like being fooled, he drew a long nose at so or as we called it cock a snook at us, hiding behind the secrecy of TM.  

My first reaction seing him in the facebook was open, because I didn't know all that. I felt even glad to get in touch with him again, but then it changed, because I began to realize what damage his behaviour had caused, and lost trust cannot be repaired.
Moreover, I didn't believe one word he said, it was all only like nice words with nothing behind. Besides, the inside reflection was different from what he said. He had fooled us and for my feeling he tried it again and even he tried to get along with it fast, hidden behind TM. The same bullshit, who needs that.
If he would have really been interested in teaching together as he had said years ago, he would have told me to do it in French and not German. Noticing that men could hide behind TM so easily, explained maybe why there were more men than women. And I was in no way motivated to do it in French after that once more, not for someone like that. And that is how the 'husband' value behind that spiritual 'marriage' got lost.

I just went on and began to work with the NL. But I felt exposed to him. He was hiding his real intentions behind the M and finding a big house for the M. His purpose and intention was not what he made it look like at all.  

The whole yoga principle turned into the opposite, they appeared as enemies and as puppets, the hand was not there holding those puppets and finally I was back in the center and had a big black hole in my meditation, it showed the absence of the master.

It felt like kind of replacement partner, the real one was not there and the master was also not there or all that happened, because the master was not there, the source was not known and the NL told me even when his sister wanted to get married that Maharishi told him in person that it was all the same, it didn't matter who she married, but for her feeling it was not the same at all.

I went with the NL to Noida there was the M. and in his presence was 'criminal' in the air.

After I left and went to Baba and asked him about it, because I didn't understand it. And he said, that it was very difficult to understand. Just think about God and TM is not the right path. 
Of course, the NL had not the slightest intention to keep the teaching pure, to understand what the master said, besides getting out of it that nobody should see how it had happened, nobody should notice it was not about truth, but hiding truth behind secrecy of TM. I was just interested in keeping his job as leader.

But it took that long and it needed inside processing and questioning and inquiring and being constantly carful, to make that reality of 'criminal' come up and to identify it as the NL and not the yogi.

Yogis are our friends.
But that is the main thing which had to happen, that was the issue why I went to Baba and it came up in the first interview with him.
In the mean time inside the higher master has even divorced me himself from TM, we were in the dream in court and he said that all stupid people pretend everything is okay and don't take responsibility for what they have done.

That is how the source came up and it is the end of it. It is a same to be in such a situation. The NL who said M. wanted me to search a hotel was also on that level. They used the secrecy of TM to get what they wanted, it was not about enlightenment, not about yoga and certainly not about sathva and truth. We lived in the illusion of friendship, it was not real friendship.

But the source had to come up. If we don't know the source, we cannot understand it.

That means since I left in 86 until now January 2013 I was looking for the lost source. It was Baba who made it come up from inside and finally helped to get there, I would say that are about 27 years...?

 The source was in the guy who made me go to TTC and said we would be teaching together afterwards. It was all wrong and afterwards I was in it already that much, there was no way out of it, it was a mind trap, because the master being not there.
He didn't tell me to do it in French.
That same guy is able to tell me in the face today that he wants only the best. Bullshit, I answered, that is just not true, one more of those who claim it is good and in the name of yoga and enlightenment live Tamas and just take advantage of the fact that with TM everything is secret, we cannot believe one word he tells, because he just hides behind TM.

Some time back the inner voice said, 'your friend' is dead.

Yogis are our friends, I guess that M. was meant and all the others, who think they are holy and enlightened and friends, take only advantage of it, are for sure not friends.
I don't need to listen to that, if it is just Tamas and fooling people.

As usual I get also the TM information and usually threw it away, but this are people I know and today I opened it, looked at it and was glad to see an old name of a nice lady I had known long ago and there was even joy coming up.

It seems finally over that struggle, but what a headache it was to get there ....
Sai Baba asked me once inside in an inner interview, why I was that old and not married... That is the reason, the hidden relationship got lost, the source got lost, I didn't know anymore to whom I belonged. There was no relationship, I felt exposed. It was an awful experience. That is the result of it that I am that old and not married and I have never been married, my ex thought we were married, he wanted a wife and when he heard that Baba asked someone to whom I belonged, he said, you belong to me. He gave Baba a letter and he took it and I thought, great, he knows more than I do and I went ahead, but I never 'yes'. That didn't work out well.
I didn't know until now. Only now I am able to know it again.
I thought with Baba it would get better, but as the source was lost and he couldn't just make it be there again, it was not that easy and it took years and years to get back to the source. 
It was because the source got lost.
Some time ago that so called 'husband' was there again in the dream only as basis for the spiritual 'marriage' with TM.
I have as fast as possible divorced him and I refused to even talk to him, I didn't trust him.
It was just about recognizing it, getting aware of it and getting rid of him for good. 
Exposed, because we don't know the source, the relationship got lost, because the master was not there.
It is rather a curse and not on the level of yoga! It is just not good enough and what awful problems that caused and it took all life to get aware of it ...