Discrimination helps to Overcome Sorrow

You hear some good news and a little later, you hear some sad news. Sometime after that you hear harsh and abusive words. Your ears heard all words of praise and blame alike. But when happy news was told, your heart felt elated, and it shrunk when sad news was heard. The same heart got enraged when the ears heard harsh words and was filled with joy when it heard words of praise! The ears by themselves are incapable of any reaction; they merely transmit the message. Thus the senses by themselves are not conscious, they are inconscient (Jada). Then how can the operations of these senses and the experiences resulting from them be deemed as Truth or Reality (Sathya)? Understand clearly that as the senses are unreliable, the reactions produced by them are also equally unreliable. If you enquire along these lines, you will develop discrimination and can easily overcome sorrow.

Baba (thought for the day)

In these words and the meaning of it we get deeper if we think it over and how can we do it? Maybe we are not at all interested in it first or sometimes I get impatient, because we do not understand it just like that but in thinking it over. Listen, think it over and absorb. (Baba)

First reading it I was seeing my first impression and it was in one sentence and like that we began already trying to put it in our life, that means we take what comes up in the mind and try to understand it and writing about it helps, because first there was no inclination in my mind to go deeper into it, but when we begin to see it in our life we get another connection to the words and by writing about it we get deeper into it, until it began to get clear that it is about discrimination and that is when my mind was hooked, because that is always challenging and interesting.

The question is what is coming up in the mind in seeing it in our own life? That is called Tapas: First discrimination; second seeing it in our own life; third going on no matter what obstacles are there. Tapas is spiritual work and we can ask, why is it spiritual work and how do we get to the right conclusion?

These words begin to grow on me because it is about discrimination, so it is directly related to Tapas and we will see how we get to the right conclusion.

So first reading it, even if we didn’t feel like thinking it over only when realizing that it was something we always found interesting, it got my attention and that is how we get into it. After reading just the first sentence what came in my head was that there is a big difference to remember the Darshan with Swami and the joy we experienced or when we remember things which are less enjoyable.

Listen and Practice, we are not the Doer

In the Solar System the Earth is a miniscule entity. Asia is small in comparison to the Earth. Within Asia, India is just one country and within India, the district of Anantapur is still smaller; and Prasanthi Nilayam within Anantapur is tinier in comparison. Within Prasanthi Nilayam, you perhaps stay in one room. Then, why should you have an ego that is bigger than the Universe in its totality? This is totally an act of delusion, arising from ignorance. In fact, a great scholar, devotee and role model on the path of spirituality from ancient yore, Bhartruhari stated, "Out of ignorance I behaved like an elephant in rut thinking that there is no one superior to me. Because of the Divine Vision of sages and their teachings, I learnt the truth. Just as a disease can be cured by taking appropriate medicine, the fickle mind can be subdued by the Darshan and the teachings of sages and scholars."

A spiritual master leads us to the right conclusion and that can be tricky sometimes as it seems. In my experience we got everywhere, but to get to the right conclusion is not that easy.

I had been in a relationship with someone who behaved just like that like an elephant thinking that there is no superior of him, just like that. We were in a relationship even and that was not funny.

I was just meditating and always constantly in my meditation, that means I went never far away enough to start all over again. In that time I didn't talk much to others, I guess that is why one day in the interview room he asked questions. When it was about meditation we always knew the answer, but when it was about that wisdom, we had to begin to ask the right questions. Above all it was about, who am I? Where do we come from? Where do we go and how long are we going to be here?

Buddha and the Unity of Creation

Buddha experienced the unity of all creation. There was total transformation in Him once He attained the vision of ekatma (oneness of the atma). He realised that all worldly relations were false. He transcended body consciousness. That is why he earned the appellation Buddha (the enlightened one). Man should use his buddhi (intellect) to understand this principle of unity. Buddhi is of two types: the buddhi that sees diversity in unity is worldly intelligence. You should develop adhyatmic buddhi (spiritual intelligence) in order to realise the underlying unity of all creation. It gives you the experience of the atmic principle which is the same in the entire creation. Buddha attained the vision of the atma. Truly speaking, Buddha is not just one individual. All of you are Buddhas. You will see unity everywhere once you understand this truth.

Baba (thought for the day)

Here Baba tells us why we should get to that insight of ekatma, 'oneness' of the atma, with other words, 'I am the One. It is the conclusion of the inner view by getting that insight that there is only 'One' and that 'I' in all of us is the manifestation of the 'One' only.

How do we get to that insight? 'I am the One', it is him telling that, it is possible if we follow him. It is in our inner view, the insight, in our dream we follow the man in our dreams who is there to awake us.

He is able in our dreams to awaken us and we get to that insight if we follow the inner master, fight to the end and finish the game.

Following needs trust, it is like sitting in a small boat sometimes in the waves of the ocean and we go up and down and try to understand it, but it is in vain, our understanding is yet just getting there and we go on in the first type of the buddhi hoping the in the end it will make sense after all.

Buddhi is of two types: the buddhi that sees diversity in unity is worldly intelligence. You should develop adhyatmic buddhi (spiritual intelligence) in order to realise the underlying unity of all creation. It gives you the experience of the atmic principle which is the same in the entire creation.

Keep the Dehi within in View

God is love and He is pleased with the pure hearted who love Him 100%. Make every effort to experience the indweller (Dehi) within the body (deha). The Dehi (Divine Soul) within you is immortal with no birth or death. Don’t forget that you are alive due to His Grace. You must necessarily do your bit to take care of your body without being attached to it. Always keep in view the Dehi within, connect with Him and discharge your duties. At the end of every day or every meeting, pray, “May all the beings in all the Worlds be happy” (Samasta Loka Sukhino Bhavanthu). Realize that the individual peace depends on the peace of those around you. Therefore always pray for the wellbeing and peace of everyone in the Universe. (Baba)

God is love and Baba is the prove of that love and the divine existence. If we get aware in the study circle of the principle of non-argumentative exchange, it is about love, but from time to time it is always again put in question, it causes friction, troubles and energy, we can avoid it or we can act against it or we can use it in a positive way and that is the skill of it. If we avoid it and do not talk to others anymore, what lots of people seem to do, we don’t put it into practice and we have not many usually sticking to it. If we go into arguments against it - that is the worst we can do, because it goes against the principle of non-argumentative exchange.

We can call it ignorance, but it happens always because the principle is not understood. A principle doesn’t change and we cannot interpret a principle, because it doesn’t change, if we argue about it, we turn it upside down, we cannot argue about it. The principle is light, if we argue about it, it is darkness and ignorance and that is the principle of Tamas if we tell that we do it even for Baba that we argue about it because we think we will get a benefit from it, that is the height of ignorance. We put the principle of non-argumentative exchange upside down and that is Tamas.

Watering the Plant with the Water of Love

To cultivate a piece of land, the farmer works really long and hard. First, he has to soften the entire piece of land. He must then plough it, sow the seeds and water it regularly. After that, the crop has to grow to a certain stage, and to aid that, he needs to use fertilizers and remove the weeds at regular intervals. Only after all this, will he be able to bring home the food grains. That is exactly what we have to do with our hearts too. The heart is like a piece of land to be cultivated, and we must cultivate it with utmost care and concern. It must be watered with the water of love. Using the plough of enquiry, you must plough it and sow the seed of the Name of God, and then guard it very vigilantly using the fence of caution and care. You must protect it with egolessness, then you will receive the fruit of love. (Baba)

How do we cultivate the piece of land? Our study circle didn’t happen because it was a holiday and there had been no people, so we had no study circle and afterwards we had an unpleasant talk with one of the members who only knew everything better and gave a negative feedback instead of a being a constructive help. I was surprised, I didn’t expect that from his side.

If I see it in the above mentioned metaphor of the farmer, it would be about removing the weeds and to make sure that the plant will grow we again remind to respect the principle and that is non-argumentative exchange.

I used that opportunity in sending the guidelines not only to him but to everybody, because it is not only about one plant, it is about the whole field and that felt great, because it felt like Baba’s presence and that feels usually joyful and by that we get aware of the wisdom in it.  

The negative insights and dreams seem to be like the fertilizer we use, it is nourishing the plant and the soil, farmers use still cow dung to fertilize the fields, we use the shadow of our life, all that what causes shock and shame and a mind hole we can use to fertilize our own plant of love in our heart.

The shadow is that what is not present in the inner view as good, but the catastrophe, the darkness and what smells awful. It is what we have to face in the inner view or getting aware of the abandoned inner child and if we are able to do so, it makes us stronger.

Cultivation of the Hearts and Self-Control

To cultivate a piece of land, the farmer works really long and hard. First, he has to soften the entire piece of land. He must then plough it, sow the seeds and water it regularly. After that, the crop has to grow to a certain stage, and to aid that, he needs to use fertilizers and remove the weeds at regular intervals. Only after all this, will he be able to bring home the food grains. That is exactly what we have to do with our hearts too. The heart is like a piece of land to be cultivated, and we must cultivate it with utmost care and concern. It must be watered with the water of love.

Using the plough of enquiry, you must plough it and sow the seed of the Name of God, and then guard it very vigilantly using the fence of caution and care. You must protect it with egolessness, then you will receive the fruit of love.

Baba (thought for the day)

Is that an interpretation of Baba's words if we think it over and see it in our own life?

Yesterday a frustrated guy after Bhajans began to argue with me about the study circle. He was not like others melting in love and full of joy, he said that I was interpreting Baba.

I didn't understand what he was talking about and as I had always in interview to translate for Baba I never had a bad feeling about it anyhow and it is kind of interpreting what he said, as I had to translate it, that means interpreting, the question is only if we are able to do it or not.

He thinks that study circle should be a discussion. But as we have clear guidelines about it and after all he was just expressing his frustration, I tried to understand his point, only there was no point of it, just arguing.

Anyhow there was no study circle, we had a holiday and there were no people and that guy was kind of trying to blackmail me in telling that he should not participate if it was not possible to discuss matters.

I told him that I will mail him the guidelines of the study circle and as he has special wishes and he wants it if possible in English, I will send it in English, I googled it and got some general guidelines and even in English. He is thinking on his level of arguing that it would be possible to help others and to tell others what to do and I told him how he could possibly tell others and help others and he said that he sees it in their face and I didn't agree.

I just told him that the level of arguing and discussion we were talking just now was no level for a study circle and that we would never get into deepness of the wisdom and our own experience if we would be on that level.

Virtues and Self-Respect transform the Mind

People practice various forms of worship and rituals following their family tradition and culture. However they do not transform even a bit in spite of months and years of spiritual practice. Frustrated, they change the Name they are chanting, because they are tired of waiting for results. At times, people change not just the Name they chant, but also their religion. Know clearly that you cannot attain God's Grace by changing the Name you chant or the religion. You must transform yourself. The dog in the home always recognizes its Master, no matter whether he or she wears a jogging dress, office uniform or party attire. It has no doubt about its Master, despite the dress worn. So too, you cannot convince God by merely changing your external appearance.

You have to acquire virtues and conduct yourself righteously. Only the one who transforms the mind pleases the Lord and attains Divinity.

Baba (thought for the day)

He explained to us not long ago in the Vedas we find three level and they are dependent on each other. First it is the level of action and consequences, the law of Karma, the second level is about divine order and the third level the nature of the absolute divine, and we talked about different levels of bliss. What we have to understand is that the first part will lead to the insight that he is the doer and we, if we are in the higher self are part of that higher divine order and we are already on the second step. We had been meditating and the discrimination was about inside and outside, about absolute and relative and about perfect orderliness and if we knew how to use more of that potential in our own mind, our health level would improve and we would get younger, more successful, it was called a lever of no problems and all wishes could get fulfilled.

That is all on the second level of divine order. If we get on the third level of the divine absolute nature we have to ask question and the most important question is 'who am I'?

That is about the reality in the Veda and to get there, we have to ask questions. We cannot just meditate and expect an answer if we do not ask a question. The question is, 'Who am I'?

The 'I' is that universal principle that has to be realized as 'I am the One', there is nothing but that universal 'I', it is an universal principle, all entities in this creation have an 'I' feeling.

If we Feel it, we Understand it

In the present, people disregard moral values and have no gratitude to those who helped them in times of need. In fact many youth lead miserable lives; they have no consideration for their kith and kin and do not hesitate to inflict harm on them. Educated young men and women do not behave like cultured human beings. What is the value of an education which does not enable you to do your duty to your spouse and children?

The first requisite to fix these evils is the elimination of the bad qualities within. You must return to the path of morality and right conduct, fear sin and love God. People appearing to be pious and god-loving without genuine good qualities, and exhibiting hypocritical behavior is vitiating the atmosphere everywhere; its promoting disorder and confusion. Everyone should therefore embark upon getting rid of bad traits and implanting Divine qualities. With love as your path realize the Divine within.

Baba (thought for the day)

In one interview I had to translate for someone I disliked, she was about everything I didn’t like and I had to translate and Baba asked me to tell her only things I had actually difficulties to tell that bad it felt and above her in the air was my shadow.

During the time I did inner child work once I was asked to choose a participant as an example of my daughter. There was a person at my side I also disliked, she was an alcoholic and rude and everything I despised at that time, but she vaguely reminded me at what I didn’t like of my father and his family, my mother didn’t like them and as we never saw them as good, I also didn’t think good of them. We had hardly any contact to that part of our family.

The inner child work had to do with shame and it was in the air, I saw it in the air, but I had no feeling about it. And one day I tried to mention it and I told them that it was in the air, but he answered that I had to feel it. 

Body is the Temple for the Dehi

It was to remind people in the villages to think of God that the ancients built temples which towered above all other buildings. The temple tower was the first thing the villagers saw when they woke up in the morning. The sight of the temple spire immediately aroused in them spontaneous feelings of adoration. It must be recognized that it was not a crazy feeling which inspired the ancients to build huge temples at great expense. These multi-storied temple towers were built so that they might constantly evoke sacred thoughts about God in the minds of the people.

It has been said: "The body (deha) is like a temple for the Dehi (indwelling eternal Spirit)." Just as a doctor reminds you of illness, and a lawyer makes you think of litigation, in the same manner when you look at your body you must remember God.

Baba (thought for the day)

I had to get used to it first to see in the body a temple of God. But it was at the same time charming and nice to think that way. I only noticed much later that I had to see it that way, because I was focused on the watcher and began to get insights and those insights didn’t make sense, if we don’t see the body as a temple.

The higher self was living in that body, but in the inner view it was separate from the body, it was light and beautiful, transcendental and only love and of course, never affected directly by the body, because there was a gap between the body and the light body of the higher self. In that gap was just a ribbon of a blue color and written in it was ‘self’. I was glad that it was there written that ‘self’, because I would have thought that it was God I saw in that light and beauty and love and outside of myself, but like that as it was my own self, it was not possible to project it outside even though it was outside, in that other body and that gap in between, it was like someone else was my own self, it felt more like seeing the neighbor as my own self than seeing my own self. It was the mirror of the other reflecting in love my own self and it was beautiful beyond measures and only love, it was an amazing insight.

The body is the temple of that beautiful being which is our own higher self and ever since I try to understand how it got there, why it looked like it looked and why it was in the dream that insight and why it is not possible to just know that we are that and not even after we have had the insight of it.

Peace is an Aspect of the Higher Self

Fire emerges when one wooden stick is rubbed against another. Can two sticks placed next to each other produce the fire? No. Fire though latent in them, emerges only through the act of rubbing of the sticks. What do these sticks symbolize? The sticks represent the human body. The fire of wisdom (jnana) is present in subtle form within us since our birth and is inert. Spiritual effort (Sadhana) is the process of rubbing the sticks. Where is the butter present in the milk? Butter has always been present in the milk and could be obtained only after the milk had been converted to curd and the curd was churned. Once butter is obtained from the buttermilk, it remains as butter without becoming milk. Likewise, in the human body, a divine power pervades every part of the body, which, after the experience of a Sakshatkar (vision of the Divine) will not be attached to the body.

Baba (thought for the day)

I liked to get aware of the three levels in Veda we have to search to understand it as action and the consequences, orderliness and the place and divinity and its absolute reality.

The question is how to see it in our own life and a way is to just write down what comes in our mind and today it is still on my mind. I remembered how I was waiting for the higher self to be there in the watcher, but I still remember the emotions, because I went beyond my own limitations and the fear, because I didn’t know where I went and it feels also somehow reflected in the father. In the mother early childhood was joy and the orderliness has to do with the father. When my mother came back from Spain she didn’t bring with her that orderliness which had been present due to my father before. It was like we had in not time lots of problems and everything went upside down and not the opposite as it had been with my father.

Spiritual effort is in Baba’s words related to rubbing the sticks. If I do not care about the Baba dreams and I do not think it over and see it in my own life, there will nothing come out by it. But the same value has meditation, if we do not meditate, the consequence will be that we are in the mind only.  If we face the first level of action and consequence, we have to be aware of what we are doing. The second level was in Baba’s presence, whatever happened had to be seen as his doing and we were challenged in understanding that level of divine orderliness.

Levels of Bliss

If we are approaching the Veda as watcher we will find three levels that need to be explored. The first is the study (jijnasa) of action and its consequences (karmajijnasa), then the search for the divine order that what assigns all things of the phenomenal world at its rightful place (dharmajijnasa), and finally the search for the understanding of the Divine Absolute (brahmajijnasa).

Each one is essential to get to the next step. Only through appropriate action within the divine order we learn to understand it and from this point only arises the understanding of the nature of Brahman. The relationship of karma, dharma and brahman is ... illustrated by the flower growing into a ripe fruit. The flower is first a a bud. After the petals fall off, what remains is the kernel from which the fruit develops. The unripe fruit is just acidic. Only when it is ripe, it is soft and sweet. Flower, kernel and ripe fruits are steps in the growth process and essentially one and the same. Therefore, the action (karma), the divine order (dharma) and God (brahma) are nothing else but three different manifestations of brahman. During action and even when in harmony with the divine order conflicts can arise. From the third level, after recognizing Brahman there alone is the bliss of perfect balance and equanimity (ananda).

Baba

This is a text from the study circle and it tells us why it is not that easy. The necessity of discrimination asks us all to get aware of it. If we want to get an experience of that divine level in our own self, we have to watch and act accordingly, that is what it tells us. I began to watch convinced that there was a higher self-level as self-experience and not only intellect and mind level, that much I had understood, but it was not the intellect that convinced me, but it had been present by action. I was writing a diary and waiting for a boyfriend, he was the first lover and I was during writing focused on love only. That is how the insight during that writing process resulted in 'self-realization'. Afterwards I couldn't find that self-realization anymore and I was looking for the reason, therefore, it was the self that knew that it was possible, as we find it always on that level, it is impossible for the mind to know it.

It is the self that knows itself and it is the same on the level of divinity, it is the divine that gives us the insights into the divine order.

Love and the Sapling of Joy

There can be no joy in a dry, barren heart. Divine Love alone can make a dry heart fit for the sprouting of the sapling of joy. Divine Love is free from self-interest. That love alone is sacred and divine which is based on complete obliviousness to one's self and is solely concerned with the yearning for God. Only when such a precious diamond of love is shining in your heart, you will have sacred and divine thoughts. 

In ancient days, sages lived in the forests amidst wild animals and performed penance. How were they able to live in peace amongst these animals? Because they were filled with divine love, they extended that love to the wild beasts also. They had no lethal weapons with them, only the weapon of love, which transformed even the nature of the wild animals. Therefore fill your hearts with love.

Baba (thought for the day)

It was an amazing experience to sit in his Darshan and to get aware of that joy, there was a time it felt like nothing but universal love and joy, flowing joy and it was growing and growing. At that time when I left for once the ashram, mostly to look for some beautiful sari or to get a coconut drink, at time they had not yet coconuts in the ashram itself. Outside of the ashram we had to face another type of life and usually I didn't like it. But feeling that joy I was looking outside of the ashram and felt that these people were richer than the West, because any amount of money cannot get us to that joy and inner fulfillment which was present during Darshan.

Sacrifice for the Nation

People think that giving up hearth and home is renunciation. This is not what Vairagya (detachment) implies. Whatever we do should be done in a spirit of goodwill and service. It should be for the wellbeing of the nation. And the welfare of all must be looked upon as the motto of the nation. From very early times, Bharatiyas have lived up to the ideal: "May all the worlds be happy!" To uphold this ideal, rulers, scholars, sages and everyone made many sacrifices. Today the spirit of sacrifice is not to be seen anywhere. It is selfishness that is the root cause of all the cruelty and violence today. All that we have in this century are strife, disputes, riots and violence. Selfishness has reared its head. Embodiments of Love! Get rid of selfishness. Regard yourself as an integral member of society. Develop the faith that your welfare is bound with the wellbeing of all.

Today it is warmer and I got that tired after lunch, can hardly keep my eyes open, so if I write I wake up again. It is really a beautiful text we look at tonight in the study circle.  Thinking over that thought for the day I wonder why Baba said, 'I am in Africa?', because we are both not African. It was for me out of question that it had to do with me. It had to do with you, because you are in Africa and some of you family as it seems as well. Everything has to be done for the wellbeing of the nation. That is the way we were thinking as TM-teacher and I had been in a relationship with the national leader, it was all about the nation only.

To keep high up his function of the national leader they offered me a course as assistant teacher on a teacher training course and I went. I was focused on the higher self and Maharishi had nodded when I said I felt like just going on and on. So when they offered me the course, I thought it was about just going on and on and I saw it as an opportunity to get closer to the higher self and on that course everything broke into pieces, because the movement was thinking only about the role of the national leader and his former 'engaged' came back. Until then I believed it was all okay and in direction of 'going on and on' and take it as it comes. It was on that course that the air broke into pieces and it felt like hell. The motivation was the mind and the mind game of that guy, he was only an actor, there was no integrity or whatever there should have been. The others acted in his name and about the worst happened what could happen, the principle of yoga broke in pieces, it was all wrong. We didn't know that this was possible. We thought with regular meditation everything was done and we knew that he should have checked it because of that reason with the Maharishi, because he was no present and he didn't do it. I remember still how tired and exhausted I felt. I went in direction of the higher self and thought it was the right thing to do and in the insight reflected that they didn't know what they were doing and that they were just puppets on a string and the hand not there which should have been holding them and the whole thing broke into pieces and instead of friend, they turned in no time into enemies. It was a shock and it ended with the insight that there was a black hole in meditation. After that course I went back to the TM-center in Zurich and I hoped it would go on as before, but it was clear that it was no possible, something was wrong and I was very afraid of those experiences.

It was awful that tiredness, I was afraid to lose my mind or to die of that tiredness and I had no idea why. With vibuthi I got in touch with Sai Baba and he was present as inner divinity, so I went to him and still hoped that it would go on with TM as well until Baba said that it is not the right path and that I should only think about God and that it is very difficult to understand. I put Om Sairam in front of the TM-mantra to feel okay.

Being with Baba I had the feeling that my life was gone or what I thought it was my life and when I met Charles I was even glad that he was American, because I was glad to leave that national awareness what had turned into hell with the TM-national leader, because they all looked like enemies.

It was awful to face that reality and to not know why. Every time when I tried to know why, I realized I couldn't understand it and when Baba said it is very difficult to understand I had no idea how difficult, because it is practically impossible to understand it without listening to his words. I listened, but that is not enough, we have to think it over, we have to see it in our own life, we have to reflect on it and find the meaning of it behind in the background and that is what I am doing in writing you.

In the air was I don't know how many times 'cut off', but not why and how?

In Darshan was 'uprooted' and I always thought it had to do with TM.  It got lost with TM, but it had been already a problem before because of my family and being let down by them.

Whatever the fear of TM and the negative experiences was that big, I couldn't meditate relaxed anymore as I did before, that is why I put 'Om Sairam' in front of the TM-mantra and went on meditating like that and the sutras and siddhis I stopped. Baba has merged with it in the meantime and seeing divinity behind it feels different again. With that thought for the day of Ganapathi and him telling, 'I wanted to fly', it does make sense and it is not any more dangerous.  

So I have my own story with the national level and I was afraid of it and it had to do with the national leader.

It should be for the wellbeing of the nation. And the welfare of all must be looked upon as the motto of the nation. From very early times, Bharatiyas have lived up to the ideal: "May all the worlds be happy!" To uphold this ideal, rulers, scholars, sages and everyone made many sacrifices.

It was all upside down in no time in that relationship with the national leader. He didn't uphold the ideal, he was no ruler or leader, but he was just and actor. It was not real and the others followed him, so the whole TM-movement felt like 'enemies', when in reality yogis are our friends.

For sure it was not about sacrifice when they offered me that course; it was because one was too much. It was against the ideal of yoga. It must have been the ideal which was not uphold, because afterwards we went together to the Maharishi and there was that 'criminal' in the Darshan above his head and also didn't understand it, because we had no Darshan with Maharishi. It was there because of the National leader, it reflected above his head because the master was not present as master, only for the national leader not for the others and that guy was only an actor. Maharishi told him that if he would not hold up the light, someone else would do it. He also had no idea what he did it seems. I left and went to Baba and in coming back got some instructions to keep it for myself and to not mix, but I could stay a TM-teacher.

I only realized in that moment that nobody would go to another master with TM and go on as I did, but I didn't want to go on, I just wanted to get out of it. I went to Baba a few months later and that is when I had the first interview and I asked him about it and when he answered, TM is not the right path, just think about God and that is very difficult to understand. I planned to fly back in September 86 and during Darshan he was standing in front of me and made a big smile and I couldn't leave. I cancelled the flight and the national leader when I didn't come back began to threaten me with my own sister, what I somehow had expected and in December he wrote that he would get 'engaged' at his birthday in December. So he replaced me as fast as he could and it was not about love or ideal or truth or yoga or sacrifice, but it was all about him acting his role.

And before I had Baba in my dream and he asked why I was that old and not yet married and he mentioned Al Drucker, which was even older and not yet married and the rest you know.

I went to get a visa in Singapore and on the way there the problem family and neighborhood came up and he said he would come back and marry me and soon after I met Charles and he really wanted to get married and he said, 'you belong to me'.

I was glad to leave Switzerland, because of that national level I had been into with the TM national leader and all turning into enemies, it was much worse than I thought it was.

But because Al was American, it was a way to get out of it, Charles was also American and you are American and my daughter is now American and Baba tells me, 'I am in Africa'?

So why Africa?

Nobody else is in Africa, but you. Al is not in Africa, the national leader made some more mistakes as it seems and lost his job, he is no more the national leader since years and he was living in Holland afterwards and now I don't know where he is, I never asked if he returned to Seelisberg or if he is still living in Holland? I don't know.

But I met once a guy who had known him when they were younger and he had left as well and he asked me what would happen to him if he is still in that TM thing and I told him, but he has no choice anymore, he cannot get out of it, he has to stay there, wherever that is, if it is in Timbuktu or in Holland or in Seelisberg, he cannot get out of it anymore.

You see by thinking it over I got the answer about the house, it had to do with getting a room in the ashram, no room really, when Baba said, 'I know what I do, I will give you a big house'.

The flying after all seems to have to do with the Siddhis, when Baba said, 'I wanted to fly' and that Baba is the motivator for the siddhis as well. The sutras help us to control the mind and to stay in that silence you like that much, you should try it. As you like silence you are like me, even if I sing also Bhajans I like silence much more and most of all silence and keeping the mind on the sutras, that is what I really like and there is that pleasure of the mind, because the anxiety of the mind is not present. It is kept under control with the 'strength of an elephant'.

What else is there still open? I am in Africa. That is open. Because Baba is the principle of 'attraction' and we go in his direction as he is bigger than the biggest and smaller than the smallest, so if he is in Africa his power of attraction is also in Africa. Are you that much in Africa and are you that power of attraction? I don't know if I will ever understand that part of it.

No Arguments and Disputations

Do not indulge in arguments and disputations; one who clamors aloud has not grasped the Truth, believe Me! Silence is the only language of the realized. Practice moderation in speech; that will help you in many ways. It will develop Prema, for most misunderstandings and factions arise out of carelessly spoken words. When the foot slips, the wound can be healed; but when the tongue slips, the wound it causes in the heart of another will fester for life. The tongue is liable to four big errors: uttering falsehood, scandalizing, finding fault with others and excessive talk. These must be avoided if there must be peace for the individual and society. The bond of brotherhood will be tightened if people speak less and speak sweet. That is why silence (mounam) was prescribed as a vow for spiritual aspirants by scriptures. As spiritual aspirants in various stages of the road, this discipline will be very valuable for you.
Baba (thought for the day)

This morning I am tired. We had been at the center last night, it is tree years ago that Baba left the body. It my side was sitting another devotee, her husband died in December 11 and she had asked me if I would come over to her place on new year's eve and I just couldn't. It was difficult to explain it to her and she somehow felt hurt. In December 10 my mother had died and in April 11 Baba had passed away. In December 11 the whole year had just been about dying as it seemed to me and it was about the beginning of a new year, beginning of 12, I was not able to do the same again, I had to begin the year differently and not with death. She was sitting near to me and I felt it, because I had excuses myself for it and told her way it was impossible and that made it come up for a moment, that deep morning when Baba had left the body, the sadness in the people. The tears began to flow again but with the Bhajans it got better.

We had nice Pasadam, (holy food) but I don't like to eat it late at night, so I took it with me home and my daughter was not there, so finally I ate it anyhow and I drank a glass of wine with it to sleep better as I had to get up early this morning.

And SMS informed me that she has today off and that she went out for entertainment. It was about at 2.45 AM, someone opened the door and my daughter came through the door with a girlfriend, and she was totally drunk.  

Bitten by a Snake and Wake-up

Suppose you dream that you are being bitten by a snake, and are struggling with pain, shouting and frantically searching for medicines. Now even though you are bitten by a snake, do you take medicine to remove the poison? No, you don't do that, because this happened in your dream. You perhaps will even forget the pain, as soon as you wake up, isn't it?

Similarly today you are in deep slumber of ignorance and worldly attachments and hence undergo a lot of suffering.

The world is ephemeral and full of misery. You suffer only because of ignorance and body attachment.

The moment you are awakened from the slumber, your problems will be solved. Anyone and everyone who aspires to lead a happy life must reduce body attachment. You develop ego because of your position, associations, physical strength or wealth. If you want to enjoy bliss, never give any scope for ego.

Baba

How do we get to insights?

In the beginning I was that afraid to get distracted, I didn't read, I tried to stay alone and to focus only on the watcher to not miss it.

I didn't know what it was. I just didn't want to miss it and everything seemed a distraction. In a sense I was glad that my life was regulated by my job, I did my work and time passed by, I was still watching. I didn't try to understand what I did, I just watched.

I had read in the Autobiography of a Yogi from Yogananda Parmahansa and others that it was possible to make the direct experience of the divine.

And I decided to not change things until it would change from the inside. And I didn't tell anybody what I did, because it was kind of impossible to make sense.

If we are really focused on the observer and not on something we think is observing and just another form of the mind, we will get aware that it is quite difficult to explain it without the help of Vedic knowledge, because in the West it seems just not to make sense to watch without a purpose of watching or just to watch and by watching to get aware of the watcher itself. 

Truth and Divine Power

There are many who observe My actions and start declaring that My nature is such and such. They are unable to gauge the sanctity, the majesty and the eternal reality that is Me. The power of Sai is limitless; it manifests forever. All forms of 'power' are resident in this Sai palm. But, those who profess to have understood Me, the wise, the Yogis (spiritually advanced persons), the Pandits (scholars), and the Jnanis (liberated persons) - all of them are aware only of the least important, the casual, external manifestation of an infinitesimal part of that power, namely, the 'miracles'!

My power is immeasurable; My truth is inexplicable, unfathomable. What I will, must take place; what I plan must succeed. I am Truth; and Truth has no need to hesitate, or fear, or bend. I am announcing this about Me, for, the need has arisen.

Baba (thought for the day)

If we want to understand his nature or to get closer to that reality, we have to know the principle. There is no other way to get nearer to his nature.

It seems maybe like a contradiction, when he is telling us that they are unable to gauge the sanctity, the majesty and the eternal reality that is Me.

We have to get aware of the oneness between our limited 'I' and the divine reality of 'I am the One', the universal 'I' to realize the meaning of it. If we see it in the inner view, it gets closer to our understanding. If we think on the intellectual level, 'I am the One', it is associated with body consciousness and therefore, it results in a huge ego.

He is the man who is in our dream to wake us, if he is present in our inner experience as 'I am the One', we know it is 'He' but as it is in our inner view, we also know that my own 'I' is not different from that and we can get the meaning of 'I am That', 'Tat Twam Asi'.

He is leading from the inside in our dreams to that insight and that is how our understanding of his reality grows. If we do not have the insight of it, on the mind level it is not possible to gauge the eternal reality in which he is identified.

It is not only limitless and manifests forever, it knows no birth and no death.

If we get one with the principle and who get closer to that wisdom and higher understanding we realize also how small certain things get, what we might think on the mind level are important.

What we notice is that he tells us, 'My power is immeasurable; My truth is inexplicable, unfathomable'.

Getting rid of the Cover Wrapping up Divinity within

Once a friend asked the famous sculptor from Italy, Michelangelo, "Why are you working so hard, chiseling this large piece of rock? Why don't you go home and take some rest?" Michelangelo replied: "I am trying to release the Divine that is in the rock. I wish to bring out of this lifeless stone the living Divinity that is embedded in it."

If a sculptor could create from an inanimate stone a living Image of God, cannot human beings vibrant with life manifest the living Divinity that resides within them? What is the reason for this incapacity to realize the Divinity within? It is because we do not realize the soiled cover in which it is wrapped up. If our clothes get dirty, we change them because we are ashamed to appear in unclean garments. If our house is shabby, we try to clean it. But when our minds and hearts are polluted, we do not feel a shamed! To purify our hearts and minds, the first thing we have to do is to lead a righteous life. Our actions must be based on morality.

Baba (thought for the day)

I was meditating regularly morning and evening with TM-meditation, first it were only twenty minutes and afterwards with the Siddhis-program it expanded to one and a half hours morning and evening. I began with that meditation during my time in Paris, because I tried to get inside answers, because I had years before the higher self in my dream, it was just light, beauty and love and that felt real good. After that insight I just wanted 'that' and the question was how to realize it and that is why I began with meditation. It had good effects on my health or on my feelings, the focus improved and as I was studying French, I noticed that it was much easier to focus, what I enjoyed. That was for me enough reason to go on and I thought that this meditation would be good for everybody, that is how we went ahead hoping the rest would come in time, that rest was all about insights only. And I had a quite difficult French test and before I went for a whole week to a meditation course, it was actually a siddhis prep course, but I didn't go there in the intention to do the siddhis, I wanted just more rest for my test. We did nothing but meditate, it was called rounding, and it began with two and went up to six and got less to the end of the week again. The test was good, I felt not identified with it and therefore, I did it totally relaxed and that made it easier afterwards. During that course I heart a beautiful melody that came out of the hearts of all hearts. That was related to the higher self I had met already before in the dream and in that moment, because it happened with lots of meditation practice and during the course, it got projected into TM. I thought I had to go there, that was the conclusion and I had no idea that it was a wrong conclusion. So I went for the Siddhis and that felt like an opening up and great. I went back to my country to earn the money for the TM-teacher's training course, it was easier for me in Zurich than in Paris and I went on course.

Live happily in the Present

We either think of the past or the future and ruin the present. Past is past, forget it. The past which is dead and gone, is useless. Work for your progress by living in the present, and in the moment. Future does not always bring happiness. And so far as the past is concerned, how much happiness have you experienced in it? Therefore, live happily in the present. What should we do in the present? Follow this maxim: Less luggage more comfort makes travel a pleasure. We should not worry about the past at all. Thinking about the past will not do any good to us. Therefore we should lead our life in the present and achieve all-round progress.

Baba (thought for the day)

This is kind of challenging to me, because Baba said to us in the interview room, follow the master, fight to the end, finish the game and by following the inner master a lot of past stuff is usually coming up, but it doesn't mean living in the past.

In trying to understand the insights in the light of the past experience and whatever comes up, comes up. Usually I do not think about it if it is past or not, I just think about understanding the insights.

Baba was in a dream and there were two Babas, one as the insight and the other one as the next step.

If we want to get to the right conclusion, we have to listen and to think it over and to absorb. But it doesn't mean living in the past. It is ruminated until we see it in the right light and it is not a matter of how long it takes or about past, it is more a question about getting the right answer and that is of course now and in the present.

Baba always said when it was about interview, one day we will get inner view and at that time we didn't know what it meant, what a personal interview in the inner view was like. In the meantime I am familiar with insights and inner view.

Baba also said he is the man who is in our dreams to awake us.

The first really great personal interview in meditation was during the first birthday celebration I had spent in Baba's presence.

We were happy that it was his birthday and therefore, went into meditation and there he was during meditation. He opened the door, he was dressed in white and there was a beautiful golden light.

I am Atma, not the Body

When a tree sways with the wind, its branches bend and toss up and down. But the tiny bird sitting on it is not afraid? Why? Because the bird relies on its wings. Even if the branch falls down, as long as its wings are fine, it is safe. With this realization, the bird sits bravely on the swaying branch. However, human beings do not have so much faith as a tiny bird. Even with the slightest problems on the tree of life, people get very worried, why? It is because they have lost their self-confidence. Even at the slightest suffering, people are frustrated, depressed and unable to bear. Instead of depending on your intelligence, physical strength or wealth, trust your self-confidence. Do good deeds; let every step and all your efforts be directed to win His Grace and proximity. Then, you will surely triumph!

Baba (thought for the day)

Do you see the tiny bird tossing up and down with the branches in the wind not afraid?

As long as its wings are fine, it is safe. When Baba said in my dream, ‘I wanted to fly’, it was probably about self-confidence and knowing if we have self-confidence, we can fly.

And he also said in my dream, ‘I wanted a big house’, and if it is about the house of self-realization the fundament is also self-confidence, the walls are self-contentment, the roof is self-sacrifice and living in the house will be self-realization.

What Baba said is, ‘self-confidence, self-control, self-contentment, self-sacrifice, self-realization’.

It is all based on the self and not the mind.

Oneness with the Divine

The profound message the divine epic Ramayana gives is: One must lead the life of a human being, and one must seek oneness with the Divine. In every human being, all the three natures – human, divine, and demonic – are present. But most people today ignore their humanness and Divinity, and foster only their demonic nature. In fact, one should strive to manifest the Divinity, and not display one’s weakness or unpleasant qualities. In every act, Rama set the example, be it in individual conduct, in the discharge of duties to the family, or in fulfilling the obligations to society. Rama demonstrated the ideals to be followed. All should begin with fulfilling their individual obligations. The duty of the individual is to manifest the Divinity within. As an individual, Rama revealed the Divinity in Him through His ideal conduct.

Baba

How do we find the oneness with the divine, if we are not in our inner essence, we are not one with the divine. It is therefore, necessary to discriminate first to be able to know that difference in our own awareness between the inner divinity in our heart and the mind and how do we know that difference?

Baba tells us that Tapas spiritual work is, first to discriminate, second to see it in our own life and third to go on no matter what obstacles are there. It helps to see the difference between the inner essence and the mind and its holes. If we are in the mind we are cut off the essence and look for the solution on an outward level and not in our own self. That difference between the essence or divinity in our heart and the mind in our conscious awareness is present if we find it in our own self in the now or we search for it outside. In the process we begin to discriminate between the obstacles in the mind and the essence of our own higher self.

See the Divine in every Day Life

Due to the force of gravity objects fall. The gravitational force is invisible to our eyes. Similarly, there are innumerable divine forces operating in this Universe. You must not deny them just because you cannot see them. Only the power of the Divine enables you to speak, see, move and think. All the power of the sense organs are derived from the Divine. In conceit, you may imagine that you are the doer. This is the result of ignorance and folly. Ask the question, what is responsible for existence? The answer is Divinity. Without faith in the Divine, nothing can be achieved. There is no need to seek a reason for this faith – Faith has no season or reason, it is like the love of a child for the mother. The child loves its mother for the sole reason that she is its mother. Develop such confidence and firm faith, you can realize God.

(Baba)

Last night there was not enough force of gravity to sleep or maybe it was something else, I woke up and didn’t remember that my daughter was already home. It was real strange.

I had taken a half a sleeping pill to be able to sleep. We had a study circle and were talking about the principle of Ahimsa, non-violence and ‘himsa’ – violence. I went fully into the himsa issue as we have in the West hardly any place where we find no himsa, violence.

Baba calls ahimsa, non-violence the highest virtue.

I was not in the mood of singing and participating and I am glad the others talk also, so I had nothing much to say but in the end to tell I went just into my heavy insights and it is all about violence.

Time is a Witness

On a stage, there are a number of lights. One is turned towards an actor in the role of a king. Another is focused on a beggar. Yet another light is on a man reading the Ramayana. The fourth one lights up a fighting scene. Here, although the lights illumine a variety of scenes, they remain unaffected by the behavior of the actors; they simply bear witness to the actions but no blame attaches to them for what the actors do. The characters alone are affected by what they do. Similarly Time is a witness to what everyone is doing. This Time is available equally to all. Your primary duty is to make right use of this Time. For this purpose, there is no need for you to wait for the beginning of a new year. Every moment is a manifestation of Time. The second is the basis for the year. Hence every second should be filled with purposeful action.

Baba

How do we know why we want to get an answer? Maybe it was because he asked and we had to get an answer.

He asked us, ‘who am I’. And we went into that search to understand who he said he was and who is that ‘I’, a universal principle and for everybody the same. We could think that everybody who has a body will also have a feeling of ‘I’ and it is connected to that entity and to the body.

Who am I?

There were questions and we had to find the answer. And Baba asked, where do I come from? Where do I go? Hong will I be here?

In the beginning I was translating all of Baba’s speeches trying to somehow closer to it and it felt like far away. I could understand it as principle and think that the same universal entity or divinity, what I looked at as opposed to our individuality, which is not universal and therefore, limited in its being.

Baba and the Jumping, Bumping Monkeys

At times, your mind becomes a monkey, a mad monkey, jumping and bumping all over. It might be difficult to control your mind. In those moments, tell yourself, “I am not a monkey; I am part of ‘mankind’.” You must have and exhibit kindness from within you. Cultivate love and develop kindness. All of you must start the day with love, fill the day will love and end the day with love. This is the way to God. Always be happy. There should not be anyone with castor-oil faces. You must lead a happy life and be cheerful always. Not just on your birthday should you be happy, you must lead your life in happiness all the time. When you have love for God, you will not do things that God does not approve of. So, your life will always be happy. Follow God, live in Love and Truth. Then you will attain true happiness and enjoy bliss.

(Baba thought for the day)

I think I enjoy it very much to get aware of the 'I am the One', no differences at all on the inner level of our 'I', which has no limitations and expanded to an universal level - or should we call it the soul level - and in our relative world experience there are that much differences that we do not understand each other.
I have to get use to the new universe and I think it needs a happy smile to get aware that with Baba in my world are vampires, demons, gaps and huge precipices, avalanches and whirlpools, volcanoes and storms, beggars and homelessness, we find ourselves on the scaffold or we have to face the devil.
Years ago being with Swami in the ashram meditating every day, feeling safe in my mediation, it didn't even come to my mind that I will have to face such a world view with him later on in my own inner view. The world has quite changed. 

How do we Attain Immortality?

Not by work or wealth or progeny, but only by sacrifice can one attain immortality. All the scriptures explain the value of sacrifice. Understand its inner significance and practice it. Devotion should not be confined to visiting temples and saluting God therein. Devotion exists everywhere. Wherever you sit, you can utter the Name of the Lord. There is no place without Love, Love exists everywhere. Some love their mother or father, others their wife or children. There are yet others who love God. Loving God alone is true devotion. The love for any worldly person can at best be selfish – there is no one who loves another person without a selfish reason. God alone loves you without selfishness, expecting nothing in return. Therefore develop faith and devotion to God.

Baba (thought for the day)

If divinity is that close to us, closer than anybody we know, how can we not be aware of it? I began to watch, decided to not change anything anymore, until it would come from the inside out of the higher self, because if it was that close, it had to be there. 

There had to be a way to make the experience and if we have enough patience and perseverance, it has to be there. 

Waiting for divinity in the beginning it felt good and special, but after a while I noticed that I had no idea about it really, I was just watching and I didn't know what fore really, I couldn't explain to anyone, because nobody knew and nobody looked at it that way. 

It felt like time began to load and the fact that I had no idea what I was doing and I also noticed I didn’t know how to explain it, but I was convinced that in my environment, in my family, if I would tell what I was waiting for, they would laugh about it. 

I had already earlier mentioned that I thought life was about self-realization and was surprised by the reaction, as it was not what I had expected. Everybody seems sure that it was not possible. 

Therefore, I was warned and I waited and didn’t talk about it. Waiting in silence until it would come from the inside, that made sure there were less distractions and doubts about it. If we do not talk about it, it was silence and I am certain that helped a lot.

Writing gets us to the Right Answer

At times, you may feel dissatisfied with the answers you wrote, even though you have spent a lot of time reading. Why? Because when you are preparing for examinations, mere reading is not sufficient.
You may read at home and feel confident of writing well in the exam hall, but that doesn’t work. You must necessarily practice at home what you do in the examination hall. That is why you should often practice writing the answers.
Many things which you do not understand clearly while reading, becomes easier to comprehend when you write. The more you write and practice at home, the better you will do in the examination hall. I will also share another secret for your success: In the examination hall, before receiving the question paper, you should first pray. Receive the question paper after your prayer. Then slowly read the question paper and start answering the easy questions first and the difficult ones towards the end.

Baba (thought for the day) 

If we read Baba's words we think he talks only to the students, but we know how it felt being in his presence, we always got the answers between his words and it was not at only for the students. We are the aspirants on the spiritual path and he is the teacher. He said that life is the best teacher and Tapas means first to use discrimination, second to see it in our own life and to go on no matter what obstacles are there. We should see it in our own life and it means we will have to do out homework and pass also some tests.    

That examination in our own life will be different, there will not be an examination hall, but nevertheless, it will be real. We feel it again and again that people are not quite satisfied with their words and thoughts, because we do not understand it well enough, because reading is not sufficient. We have to listen and to think it over to be able to absorb it as part of our own self. 

That thought for the day tells me finally why I am into writing. He was holding up a book after we came here and I knew it means writing it and when I began to write I didn't know where to begin with and even less how to end it, but I went on writing, just to do it, because in doing it we can finally will find a beginning and an end and not in just thinking about it, we have to put it into practice.

In the mean time it has changed, it is the reason why I write that blog, I am that student who has to pass an examination test and I have to find the right answer and in writing we practice at home and think it over in a different way than only reading it and we get a deeper meaning of the words and Baba's wisdom than only reading it.