No Arguments and Disputations

Do not indulge in arguments and disputations; one who clamors aloud has not grasped the Truth, believe Me! Silence is the only language of the realized. Practice moderation in speech; that will help you in many ways. It will develop Prema, for most misunderstandings and factions arise out of carelessly spoken words. When the foot slips, the wound can be healed; but when the tongue slips, the wound it causes in the heart of another will fester for life. The tongue is liable to four big errors: uttering falsehood, scandalizing, finding fault with others and excessive talk. These must be avoided if there must be peace for the individual and society. The bond of brotherhood will be tightened if people speak less and speak sweet. That is why silence (mounam) was prescribed as a vow for spiritual aspirants by scriptures. As spiritual aspirants in various stages of the road, this discipline will be very valuable for you.
Baba (thought for the day)

This morning I am tired. We had been at the center last night, it is tree years ago that Baba left the body. It my side was sitting another devotee, her husband died in December 11 and she had asked me if I would come over to her place on new year's eve and I just couldn't. It was difficult to explain it to her and she somehow felt hurt. In December 10 my mother had died and in April 11 Baba had passed away. In December 11 the whole year had just been about dying as it seemed to me and it was about the beginning of a new year, beginning of 12, I was not able to do the same again, I had to begin the year differently and not with death. She was sitting near to me and I felt it, because I had excuses myself for it and told her way it was impossible and that made it come up for a moment, that deep morning when Baba had left the body, the sadness in the people. The tears began to flow again but with the Bhajans it got better.

We had nice Pasadam, (holy food) but I don't like to eat it late at night, so I took it with me home and my daughter was not there, so finally I ate it anyhow and I drank a glass of wine with it to sleep better as I had to get up early this morning.

And SMS informed me that she has today off and that she went out for entertainment. It was about at 2.45 AM, someone opened the door and my daughter came through the door with a girlfriend, and she was totally drunk.  

They began to cook egg and bacon at two o'clock in the morning, the whole apartment smelt like bacon and egg and my sleep was gone. After all that back and forth and finally also throwing up she settled down in our living room and began to snore. I asked my daughter if it was alcohol are drugs also and she seemed not in danger of an overdoses, because I heard her tell to my daughter that she thinks she will die, so she probably felt quite sick.

As long as she was heavily snoring didn't feel like drugs and finally I closed the door to not be disturbed by her and tried to go asleep again, but that was rather difficult.

I always take a half a sleeping pill to be able to go through the whole night when I have to get up early for work next morning. It was too late, but I had no choice, I would not have closed an eye after all that activity.

I worked; I fell probably asleep around 3 pm again and woke up like drunk.

I am still feeling groggy and all this morning, but I sleep. If I would not have left I would feel groggy all day because of lack of sleep. I don't take it that easy anymore as I did years before, especially, when I have to go to work; I hate it to be at work and groggy because of lack of sleep.

After all it worked out, I got somehow over it, but last night a moment I had the feeling that everything went wrong again and I felt overwhelmed with the attitude of the daughter bringing her sick friend early morning in our apartment when I had to work next day and get up in the morning. I try to be able to take it, but I have difficulties with it and she felt too bad to tell her to go somewhere else, I will just remind my daughter again that as long as I am working she should not do that.  Anyhow it is Friday.

It clashed the sathvic background of the center and my daughter bringing her friend home which was totally drunk. I feel often like between two worlds and it feels like such tensions, I would like to get drunk as well to not have to feel it. First I was meditation in the midst of the night trying to calm down, what didn't work really, afterwards I took one half or a sleeping pill again, what took some time, but after it had an effect, I feel asleep and woke only this morning up. So after all it worked out, I guess they are still sleeping. I am at work now.

It is silent and nothing much happening and I don't care as I still feel groggy.

It was a nice evening at the center and I didn't expect that. Being disturbed like that in the midst of the night was not what I had in mind. There was even a moment I tried to find a way out. I thought I could go in the center and rest there until morning as I do have a key and go from there to work.

I felt that disturbed by the attitude of my daughter that I thought she did it in purpose. I was not at all flexible and open minded and our place is not that big. But after all, we found a solution; the sleeping pill took care of it. That is why I do have those sleeping pills since my daughter became a teenager and whatever had been agreed before, doesn't count anymore.

I have get up early morning, I am not always the same and I need a certain sleeping habit to be able to make my job. Before we were meditating and it was enough, it took care of it. But now it is not the same anymore, the disturbance is too big.   

Concerning that thought for the day, we did not indulge in arguments and disputations, it was too late or too early morning.

Do not indulge in arguments and disputations; one who clamors aloud has not grasped the Truth, believe Me! Silence is the only language of the realized. Practice moderation in speech; that will help you in many ways. It will develop Prema, for most misunderstandings and factions arise out of carelessly spoken words. When the foot slips, the wound can be healed; but when the tongue slips, the wound it causes in the heart of another will fester for life.

But when I feel groggy I need some time to get okay. And I don't know if in that case silence is okay, because my daughter is walking on my head that is how it feels. I am nice, I practice moderation in speech; I hope that it will help me in many ways. I can tell her she should not do it and why later. If there are misunderstandings and fractions out of carelessly spoken words, the wound cannot heal. I have enough experiences with my ex who didn't care about it at all, even if he goes every year for a month to ashram.

So why didn't he care to be careful what words he used? He probably didn't listen and he doesn't think it over and that means, he can live there a months or even longer, but he doesn't get the meaning of it, he doesn't put it into practice and there are for sure some more like that.

He didn't care to listen, he didn't care to understand duty and when we had met we seemed to be both focused on truth. It means I spoke about truth and he agreed taking advantage of it and it was possible that it happened in Baba's presence. We gave him even a letter and he took it, so we walked straight into troubles. Maybe that was the best way that we have to think it over and not just get mind answers and whatever pleases our mind, that way we adapt Swami's teaching to our mind, instead of realizing that it is the mind and get aware of the difference to Atman.

And also it is not understood and it seems some just don't know where to begin with.

It is kind of challenging, it is not easy at all.

The tongue is liable to four big errors: uttering falsehood, scandalizing, finding fault with others and excessive talk. These must be avoided if there must be peace for the individual and society. The bond of brotherhood will be tightened if people speak less and speak sweet. That is why silence (mounam) was prescribed as a vow for spiritual aspirants by scriptures. As spiritual aspirants in various stages of the road, this discipline will be very valuable for you.

If we see it in this light of the thought for the day we see it as it is, without making it look nicer than it really had been. Because he took only advantage of it, his whole approach was based on uttering falsehood; every word he said was not true.

And he didn't care if it was true or not, as long as he could take advantage of it and we can conclude that he didn't care about Baba's teaching at all, he just liked to be in that environment of love to feel good, but he didn't practice. In that environment it didn't came in my mind that someone would not be serene

Because Baba tells us, without 'enthusiasm, courage, devotion, energy, readiness and sincerity, nothing can be achieved. It was all hidden behind the image of devotion, but it was not real devotion, it was only the image of it. He was a swindler and that is the scandalizing part.  

The synonyms we can see as bad and Baba had told him 'bad monkey mind', but how should I know what that monkey is able to do? If he would have said that he is showing off, that his tongue is uttering falsehood and that he likes to think in scandalous ways in an unsatisfactory in an unpopular way finding faults with other, but never with himself, I would have felt that it is tricky, getting us into something which was not at all what I thought it was, a Baba Lila and as it turned out it felt sticky and inflexible, it was not possible to get out of it, with force he tried to adapt it to his dream to make it look like a Baba's gift., he had a pungent sarcasm and began to tell me when he did something wrong, what have you done? It began to feel heavy, loading and it felt not right and obtrusive, there was no distance and if I tried to get in distance, he took care of it that it was gone again, making his issues mine. It felt hairy and risky with the violence part in the background, there was danger. Even if I never criticized him, he didn't stop anymore and went into excessive talk. I left it open and was in that sense an easy target, I tried to keep the level of a Sai Baba Lila and some dignity, so I usually answered, Baba has done it, he will know a way out of it.

It builds up and went into a nervous breakdown.

He was dry, boring, he had no ideas, he was not able to change things and I began to feel uncomfortable being in that situation.  And when something was on his mind, he didn't stop talking, that is he got into excessive talk. There were all those errors of the tongue and worst of all, as it was all based on uttering falsehood and that in the present of a Sai Baba, he didn't know what he was doing.

The tongue is liable to four big errors: uttering falsehood, scandalizing, finding fault with others and excessive talk.

I went in direction of the higher self and therefore, it was not possible to just talk, we have to think it over before we talked or write, to know if it is okay or true to understand his teaching. Understanding it means to know the difference between uttering falsehood, scandalizing talk, finding faults with others instead of our own self and excessive talk.

After I we came back from the Baba ashram and we didn't go back to that guy in the US who was without restrictions and bad feeling thinking he was even right, his tongue went into those four big errors and it was not possible to stop him, as it ended with finding fault with others and excessive talk and he was in the mood of scandalizing me, after we didn't go back, Baba was holding up a book in the dream and I had written it, it was for me the green light to write and that is also how I got into that blogging and self-enquiry.

Baba was in dreams, but it is not just understood if we have a Baba dream. If we take a thought for the day and look as the meaning in the words of Baba and we see it in our own life, we get the experience of the difference and how it gets absorbed.

In seeing it in our own life we see the errors of the tongue and what we have to deal with. If we do not see it in our own life, we have no issue, there is no reason to remember the errors of the tongue. But if we get aware what those errors did to our own life and how it was to live in those errors and what catastrophe had been caused by it, we can integrate it in our own life.

If there is someone only eager to take advantage of it, he doesn't put things into practice. If we see it in that light, what Baba tells us here gets in an all different light? Some understood the value of silence, some not and if we do not control our tongue, there is no self-control; the tongue is able to tell everything upside down and to created lots of problems. If it is about the heart level we will not forget the errors of the tongue.

Baba tells us 'life is the best teaching', but it is somehow hard to learn like that.

With my ex all four big errors of the tongue were present.

Sometimes I feel tired to learn by thinking it over and seeing it in our own life, mostly when it is that obvious and hitting.

But it is spiritual work. It is called Tapas, the first step is discrimination, the second step is seeing it in our own life and the third step is going on no matter what obstacles are there. Without doing that work we cannot really enquire into Atman and get aware of the difference between Atman and mind.  

In the meantime I feel less groggy, but still not like we do after a good sleep.

The bond of brotherhood will be tightened if people speak less and speak sweet. That is why silence (mounam) was prescribed as a vow for spiritual aspirants by scriptures. As spiritual aspirants in various stages of the road, this discipline will be very valuable for you.

I practice it also with my daughter. I will tell her in time to not do that anymore as long as I am still living at the same place, it is a reckless attitude and I am so tired of it.

She doesn't care about the errors of the tongue at all. She is young and they talk and talk today on the handy excessive talk get even cultivated, they are always at the phone.  

Since she became a teenager that part became difficult, because I cannot live what she does.

But she is somehow stronger, because she doesn't have to get on with a discipline and she does as she likes and from my side it is not possible, so I am much more tired than she is, because I have to constantly give in. Sometimes I have the feeling it is taking all strength away.

I had once a dream, I was standing on the steps and on the spiritual path we have to go up the steps and I had a huge big baby in my arms and I got crushed underneath.

I guess that is our situation here.

But it affects my job, because I feel that tired I had to ask every name about twice to understand it, there is too much tiredness and there is a feeling of sickness or fainting in the air, so after all we do not feel okay and we have to do our job like that and it still feels like no way out.