Levels of Bliss

If we are approaching the Veda as watcher we will find three levels that need to be explored. The first is the study (jijnasa) of action and its consequences (karmajijnasa), then the search for the divine order that what assigns all things of the phenomenal world at its rightful place (dharmajijnasa), and finally the search for the understanding of the Divine Absolute (brahmajijnasa).

Each one is essential to get to the next step. Only through appropriate action within the divine order we learn to understand it and from this point only arises the understanding of the nature of Brahman. The relationship of karma, dharma and brahman is ... illustrated by the flower growing into a ripe fruit. The flower is first a a bud. After the petals fall off, what remains is the kernel from which the fruit develops. The unripe fruit is just acidic. Only when it is ripe, it is soft and sweet. Flower, kernel and ripe fruits are steps in the growth process and essentially one and the same. Therefore, the action (karma), the divine order (dharma) and God (brahma) are nothing else but three different manifestations of brahman. During action and even when in harmony with the divine order conflicts can arise. From the third level, after recognizing Brahman there alone is the bliss of perfect balance and equanimity (ananda).

Baba

This is a text from the study circle and it tells us why it is not that easy. The necessity of discrimination asks us all to get aware of it. If we want to get an experience of that divine level in our own self, we have to watch and act accordingly, that is what it tells us. I began to watch convinced that there was a higher self-level as self-experience and not only intellect and mind level, that much I had understood, but it was not the intellect that convinced me, but it had been present by action. I was writing a diary and waiting for a boyfriend, he was the first lover and I was during writing focused on love only. That is how the insight during that writing process resulted in 'self-realization'. Afterwards I couldn't find that self-realization anymore and I was looking for the reason, therefore, it was the self that knew that it was possible, as we find it always on that level, it is impossible for the mind to know it.

It is the self that knows itself and it is the same on the level of divinity, it is the divine that gives us the insights into the divine order.

Therefore, I decided to watch and I was waiting until the watcher would be there, because if was a logical conclusion that if the watcher was a reality it could be experiences by watching and if we have enough patience and perseverance it will be there in time. To make sure it would not be the mind, as it was always just happening whatever happened by the circumstances and the situation around us, I decided to not change until it would change from inside and out of the inner self.

That was kind of difficult and it happened that it changed with other people around me, but it went on no matter what and that was rather difficult, because after a while I had the feeling to not know anything anymore and I didn't know what I was doing and where I was going. That was certainly research into doing, it was kind of surprising that there was nothing, but really nothing done out of my own self and that is how we went on still waiting to see that higher self.

First of all I wanted to know what I was doing, why I decided to wait and why I couldn't stop waiting anymore and because I didn't get any answers, I went on the same way as I did before, examining everything what came my way, looking at it and trying to find the truth in it.

It was much more difficult than I had thought it would be. It is just because of that reason that in every action is conflict even if it is in harmony with divine order.

Also when I began with meditation and got always deeper into TM I began to think about action and reaction and the consequences of that action, it said it was good if we meditated, more in harmony with nature and that with meditation we did the best we could for everybody. Of course, that was a great promise and we went for it hopping it would be true and I guess it was as long as we meditated in big groups like vacuum cleaners with the task to purify consciousness, it was not the best I could do if I looked at my own path and the answers I had to get. Those people were that convinced that it was always the best what they could do that they didn't use any discrimination, they just learned how to make a difficult issue easy and simple and were happy with finding the same answer for every question possible, if it was about our own self or the others or the world, we just had to meditate to take care of all of it and he thought he was even that genius that the world had just been waiting for that insight, what no master before of all the great holy men on this world had known, not even the Christ or others, they all had lost the knowledge and that is how self-aggrandizement grew out of limits, that was really the only thing what was limitless, everything else was limited, they actually acted for a result, what makes every action limited and relative, may we call it enlightened, it is certainly not. Also they were all not aware that they were just puppets on a string, because it was all learnt by heart and therefore, they all were dependent on the hand which should have been there leading them and as I was in  a relationship with that very hand, I felt exposed to him and the whole thing broke in pieces in no time, because they didn't use common sense, but they all just listened to the leader, who was not present in the form of the guru, but what was a requirement on the level of the national leader.

So the insight said that the hand was not there, which should be holding the puppets on the string and they turned all into enemies in no time. That is how I went to Baba, not understanding anything anymore, it was hell to get to the experience that all looked like enemies. I got that tired that I was afraid to die from it or to lose my mind. It felt not only like a huge problem, it was one and it seemed a long time not possible to overcome it. It had been present as a black-hole in my meditation and trust was gone. That was my experience with TM.

The action was in the aim to clean the world and but the consequence was such that we didn't understand it. But in enquiring about action and consequence, it seemed if it was that easy for what they called yoga and invincibility and that level of perfect orderliness or as Baba called it divine orderliness, the second step we have to enquire, if it was that easy on the level of invincibility to turn upside down, it was not invincible and perfect after all, it was just made like that and the key was with the leader, they all listened to him only and if he failed, what he did, everybody failed. He was not a yogi, he was just an actor eager to be applauded by everyone, so whatever he did it was to look good and not in the sense of reality and yoga and knowledge and all that time when he had been personal staff of the Maharishi was gone after how much time, no time at all. The Maharishi left Seelisberg in 83 and all turned into enemies already in 84, in 85 I got in touch with Baba on the inner level and the divinity in the heart and from that moment on we enquired about the level divine orderliness and why it had turned around in the opposite with the TM-national leader. Also in the inner view the structure looked like a pyramid, he was on top and if the top didn't work, the whole house, pyramid, collapsed.

In a sense I was forced by that to enquire about the second step the divine orderliness and what could have disturbed the invincibility level. We were with TM because it felt safe, the reason for it was that it was called invincible, but in my experience it was not invincible at all, it had turned into the opposite after the master had left. It took only few months before the whole thing turned upside down, but for the others it went on like that …, they didn't see it, not even the national leader himself realized what had happened and why I had those experiences. 

He did afterwards what he knew best, he went on as fast as he could and used the actor and his role to go into another relationship, just to make it look more safe, he engaged himself and when I talked with one of the ladies of the national office, as she had been involved in that turning upside down of the principle, just listening to her voice and remembering it, made me run to the bathroom as I had to throw up. That is not exactly what we expect from yoga or peace and invincibility.

But this was all on the second level of the divine orderliness and right action. The right action was definitely not there, it was not on the level of yoga or insights; it was all on the level of the mind only.  

And with Baba we are on the third level, the understanding of the divine absolute. It is not just the difference between relative and absolute, it is about divinity.

Each one is the essential to get to the next step. Only through appropriate action within the divine order we learn to understand it and from this point only arises the understanding of the nature of Brahman.

What is the difference? It is much more difficult. With TM everything was easy, just meditate and everything is taken care of, the world, our self, our environment, world-peace and our spiritual progress, our health and youth etc.

If we go into the wisdom of the absolute and Brahman, it is about 'who am I?'

The relationship of karma, dharma and brahman is ... illustrated by the transformation of a flower in to a ripe fruit. The flower develops from the bud. Then the petals fall off, what remains is the kernel from which the fruit develops. The unripe fruit is acidic. Only when it is ripe, it is soft and sweet. Flower, kernel and ripe fruits are steps in a growth process and essentially one and the same.

We do not know really where we are, if we are yet a kernel and the fruit has to develop and if it is yet acidic or already sweet? But one thing is certain in that growth process we can see the transformation of the flower and how it becomes a fruit.

We have to discriminate first, we have to search for the difference between atman and the mind and not be a victim of the mind, so we have to be in constant discrimination. We have to see it in our own life and we get able to understand the insights. We have to understand what attachment does to our life and why pride is creating only problems and we have to get aware of it why they all looked like puppets on a string following a blind leader who was nevertheless in touch with the Maharishi and why he was not available as leader and what is the difference between a spiritual leader and an actor. Knowing means feeling it. It cannot be just intellectual and cut off from our experience and only if we know if and feel it, we have integrated it in our life. It said in the inner view that all went upside down because the leader was not functioning properly and because they are only puppets on a string, they all turned into enemies in no time and the whole TM-thing broke in pieces. It is not enough to just mediate and all problems will be solved, that caused more problems than anything had before and they were not solved by meditation at all, it needs insights and knowledge about the divine to understand it.

That insight is Baba and also the following step that is part of that knowledge in the nature of the absolute; it is about 'I am that' and not just meditation, it is about 'I am the One', what had to do with inner view, 'insight'. If we see it inside in our dream, we know it is 'He', because we know it is an universal level and on that level if he tells, 'I am the One', we know also that there is nothing existing without him and everything is him, but it has to be realized and to get to that realization we have to be awake in our own self and we will get it by inner view and then it can transform into the fruit. Consciousness is constantly growing; it is never done and just finished and ended.

Sometimes, when getting aware of it, even without anybody here, no singing, no Bhajans, no Seva activity, the reality of Baba is in the air and it feels like in Whitefield in Baba's ashram. In Whitefield we were more living in the village and we went to Bangalore and had big feasts and ate buffet, it means as much as one can eat and after I usually sick and regretted it and we often had only one Darshan a day. But it feels always great to feel Baba's presence in the air. It is much better than when the air is breaking into pieces …, because the master was not present. The last part of study into divinity has a lot to do with the higher self being present in the inner master and in the teacher, in the Guru. If he is not present, we don't even get to the second step, it is all learned by heart only what we knew about the divine orderliness, the third step is not possible without the master.

It is not possible to realize divinity as the parents, if there is nobody how is perfect and reflecting that level of highest knowledge and perfection. We can only get to the insight, 'I am the One', if we are with a master who has realized it, who is living it and who is able to teach us the reality of that oneness.

Baba asked, 'who am I?'

And 'He' is in our dream and he is present to give us the answer on the insight level and that is in the dream or if we are meditation, it can also be in meditation. He said, 'I am the One'.

And only now, after we made that experience, we really understand it what he is talking about and we have the feeling to know what it means to be one with the universe.

He is the insight and he is the next step, he guides and answers from the inner view and through insights and dreams, the teaching is on that inner level and that is how we get to know and realize his unlimited, universal and divine being.