God is an incredible thing. For you are God. Listen more, you know, to your Path. Listen more to your Way. The quotes from the great Masters, they are not meant to be followed. They are meant to inspire you and remind you of your freedom to your Path.
You are a Christed One. You are Ordained. For your birth, just as the butterfly is once a crawling, and then it is a flying, so you are ordained naturally. The Path of a butterfly, it is not taught. The Path of a Christed One cannot be taught. Meditate, and Pray, and Chant to fall in Love, with You. Dance, and laugh, and sing to your crazy music, to fall in Love with that feeling of You. And give that to your world. Give it freely. Give it, and give it, and give it, and give it, and you will never find the enemy. For you have the access forever to Love, and you will forever be Loved. "
Mafu
This daily quote tells us a lot about listening. It is more than just listening to words, it is listening to our path. It is not only listening to one, but it is listening to all the great masters. How do we listen to our own way and by that get aware of it? We listen to your own way and we should listen to the quotes of the great masters.
They are meant to inspire you and remind you of your freedom to your Path.
Baba was in my inner view during that time in the ashram and it was an inside personal interview, he mentioned those interviews, but as we were not used to listen, it was not possible to realize it. He had opened the door to the interview room, there was a golden light and he was all in white. He asked, why I was so old and not yet married and he said, don't worry I will take care of it. For Indian standards I was very old, in the West we see it a bit different, but it felt good to know that he cared, even though I must have understood it all wrong.
Baba tells, without enthusiasm, courage, devotion, energy, readiness and sincerity can nothing be achieved.
We didn't hear it, because we didn't listen. I hoped I would understand it in time. It was sure I wanted to understand it. I translated some of his speeches and a book. Out of my sight I did the best to listen, but I didn't know how to think it over and also not how it would be absorbed that knowledge or teaching.
Anyhow it was an insight, it was a personal interview and I was not aware of it. There was something missing, because I didn't know how to get aware of it. It happened in spite of it. As we didn't know how to listen and what it means listening and to think it over and to absorb, we went ahead in the feeling that one day I would know how to listen. It was not a good feeling not knowing how, especially because I had already done it. During our teacher's training becoming a TM instructor, we had nine months done nothing else but listening to tapes and it was all about teaching and knowledge and as they called it, pure knowledge.
Therefore, I didn't know how to listen without going on course. That means I was holding on to him and I went in that direction in the hope we would one day be able to know how. As it had been a course during that TM time, we were not aware what it really was, we thought it was a course and the master told us what to do, it was all structured and in form of technique. I was meditating regularly and I went on with the practice, at least as long as there was no indication that I should practice another way, but I always had the feeling to not understand anything anymore. It means becoming a TM teacher was listening and we even learnt a lot by heart and that way we were thinking it over and the result is if we are able to absorb the knowledge. We did it, we practiced, but we were not aware of it and on the path of self-realization it has to be both, practice and getting aware of it. With TM, we practiced, but as it was structured in courses, we didn't get aware of it. With Baba we had to get aware of it, but we didn't know how to practice, but we were singing. It felt even like a conflict, because I wanted to listen and practice and therefore, I went on with meditation and not just with singing.
Now the surprise, sitting listening to tapes was nothing else but - listen and making notes and learning it by heart was thinking it over and finally it leads to that state of being able to absorb. It is that far away in the mean time, the connection is not just realized in reading about it, it is mostly in writing that I think it over enough that it can get absorbed.
The insights didn't make sense still and during the TM courses we didn't get aware that it was about listening. We thought it was a teacher's training and we never realized that it was about listening and that it is about listen, think it over and absorb.
That means, we didn't know, no awarness of it.
It was not a good feeling to not understand it. We had not understood it, we just meditated and convinced that it was the right thing to do, all we needed to do we got stuck on that level. We got identified with the role of the TM-teacher and not aware of the insights.
I thought we had done already some work and we had been listening, but we couldn't connect, because we were unaware of it and it said, if we don't know the source, we cannot understand it.
We were not trained to listen with TM, just to close the eyes, take a mantra and meditate and the TM-teacher was the result, we had not realized it. And that was all there was and that was just not good enough.
It said it was everything what was needed and we believed it, because it was easy, we seemed to have done it and from that moment on we just needed to practice and no more to listen.
It seemed easy, but it was too easy, because we had not realized that it was about listening. We went just on and didn't think about it anymore, but we practiced a meditation technique.
But after a while the insights didn't make sense anymore.
And it was not possible to know what it was, there was always the same information: If we are cut off, we cannot understand it.
It means we thought we did everything we had to do and we didn't know that it was about listen, think it over and absorb and also not that we have to listen to our own path.
As Baba said in the insight that he would take care of it and also in the interview he confirmed it, that felt okay, only we imagined it to be different.
He had asked, why I was not married yet and as I met someone who said that he actually was looking for a wife and I just happened to be there and Baba had asked to whom I belonged, what a coincidence, he said, I belonged to him, that easy. I went on meditating, that solved anyhow all problems, as we thought, and the rest we left to him.
That is how I got into a relationship, but it was not as I thought it would be. It was kind of like a pendulum.
It went to the far end of the experience and turned around and went back again. But there the doubts began, because now was clear that something was missing and that we didn't understand it right, we didn't get that listening part and it was not structured in courses and therefore, we just could go on courses and learn it by heart, it had to be realized and that was the hard part of it.
The insight was not uplifting, it felt like being a homeless beggar on the street of New York, in the air the feeling of ruin. It had to do with the reality, that doubts lead to spiritual ruin.
Listening means to understand it right and not to think it was just a nightmare and that the nightmare ended in the moment we left. It went on because it was about doubts and now we had to begin to listen to think it over enough to be able to absorb to get healed of the doubts.
Baba was in his dream and said that I had to go and make peace with him, and we went, but it was not possible to go back, because now it was clear that nothing was as it should be.
It became difficult. It was not anymore about the wife he wanted, but about taking advantage of it. And by that we learnt to listen and by writing it down we have to think it over and that is how it gets absorbed.
That is kind of the same process we went through during the TM-teacher's training, listen, think it over and absorb, only we didn't know and it was not called like that.
And afterwards it was in conflict with the freedom of the path.
The first experience with the higher self was a vision and it was during sleep, but it was no dream, it was awake, eventhough sleep, it was awake and a dream, it was a vision. There was a white light and in that light the body was dark and sleeping. The I was in the body, but it didn't belong there and in the morning everything had changed and I knew that was what I wanted.
It was light, it was beauty and it was love, but in the air was freedom.
And from that moment on I got in conflict with inner identification. I had the freedom to choose, but in the moment I decided to go a certain path, I was committed to it. So I went in direction of TM and there was that feeling of soulmate and I had to go in that direction.
It was inner identification and that was binding and in conflict with the freedom and no insights, it means it didn't get better but worse. There were no insights at all, so we didn't realize it was level 'husband' and therefore, nothing made sense.
We didn't listen, we tried to find other ways to get there, and it didn't work out, we had to face reality that if we don't know how to listen, we will not be able to think it over and to absorb.
Meditate, and pray, and chant to fall in Love, with You. Dance, and laugh, and sing to your crazy music, to fall in Love with that feeling of You. And give that to your world. Give it freely.
Last night we had a great devotional singing and in the end some devotee, I had once shared a room with, began with a guided meditation. She has no meditation experience and she just tells people what do to.
I left and wondered, if I would be disturbed by it or not. Anyhow as I have meditation experience, I usually don't attend such things, because it feels like a joke to follow that and to think it is meditation, but it cannot harm really, only it is not a good experience, what she is doing is wandering with the light through the body and open up to the universe, there can be nothing wrong as long as it ends up to be universal. That is how I try to feel better, but we don't have to stay.
And now I think it over. That is the difference between not doing it and really thinking it over. I know her a bit too good. She always thinks she is able to lead others even if she is not even able to live with herself.
During the time in Prasanthi she was called to the office and she was told, as she did counseling work, that she should not do it with Baba's picture.
She had told me that she had a big picture of Baba above her therapy room. In the mean time she began with the work of Phyllis Krystal and she got somehow better, but since last night I doubt it again.
She has practically no meditation experience and wants to tell others how to meditate.
She is one of the most disturbed people I have met, her voice sounds not okay and now she wants to do that every month, that is too much for me to take.
After I was glad to be back in my car and to drive home. I always enjoy to be alone, because I listen to music. It is also listening, but to the sound and it gets me back in myself again remembering the time of dancing and there is also love.
It is great to remember the dance, the joy, the laughter, we are back in the present again.
After singing Bhajans some want to keep it and hold on to the experience and if someone is in my car, I cannot put on music.
Love has been as much in dancing as in devotional singing.
Instead of worrying and getting on a disturbed mind level, because of someone who should not even try to lead others into meditation, without having any meditation practice, I rather listen to music, that is listening and telling something about the path, it is thinking it over on another level, in getting aware of the insights during dance and in the music and it is also something which can be absorbed and therefore, it leads into union with our higher self.
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