Today the Universe Desperately Needs Unity

In the world, you will easily see examples of how some families prospered because of unity and others suffered because of divisions within the family. Today the Universe desperately needs unity. It is through faith in God that unity can be promoted. Look at the diversity of people in the halls of Puttaparthi! People come from different creeds, nationalities and culture, but all are united in their common allegiance to Bhagawan. By this single feeling of faith in the Divine, unity is achieved. All of you are embodiments of the Divine. You are embodiments of love and peace, of Divinity; develop this strong conviction. With the power of the Divine to nurture you there is nothing you cannot accomplish. Karna and Ravana are examples of powerful men who were destroyed because they did not have the power of the Divine. The Pandavas were saved because of their faith in the Divine and their unity.

We should listen to Swami’s words and that Swami is gelling us to listen, think it over and absorb and that it doesn’t mean to discuss and to argue and that with discussion and arguments we cannot reach any unity.

 In the world, you will easily see examples of how some families prospered because of unity and others suffered because of divisions within the family. Today the Universe desperately needs unity.

When I went to Swami I thought it would get better, not being aware how difficult my family really was. 

It seems I want always back there trying to find out what went wrong, because I had been let down by them and that happened already when I came back I idealized it as most of people do as it seems with difficult families behind it. 

We were in the interview room and Swami said, ‘follow the master, fight to the end, finish the game’. And in another interview he said, ‘why are you here?’ And he gave the answer, ‘self-realization’.

I remembered my first experience of ‘self-realization’ and at that time I was about sixteen years old and I was writing a diary and it was a great ‘insight’, it was clear I would like to go in that direction and it had also to do with writing and when I stopped afterwards with writing a diary I couldn’t get back into it. It was like gone and I had no idea why. I couldn’t find it anymore.

In the meantime I was already years not anymore living in the parent’s house and I didn’t really understand what went wrong. Something was wrong. I remembered how I had felt before, but every time I came back I felt bad and wanted to leave on the spot again, I felt a kind of homesick in my own parent’s house and I didn’t know why.

I had tried to talk about that ‘self-realization’ issue with my parents, I mentioned it once and I don’t know if it was because what I had said or it was just always like that, but I noticed in my father ‘anger’ and he answered angry that I was a communist and I wondered what I had said. Now the feeling of self-realization had something to do with holiness and therefore I didn’t speak about it, I kept it actually for myself and during that lunch at the table I just mentioned it and I was kind of taken aback to get such an answer.

I was thinking about it what I had said, and I didn’t understand it. Only much later when I was older and had more experience, I realized that in that time everything what didn’t fit in his way of seeing it, the troublemakers were the communists.

That happened once in Swami’s presence. I had to translate for a person who didn’t understand English and she was actually mentally sick and giving us a hard time. I didn’t feel that comfortable in translating it as I had to repeat some things three times and I felt somehow reluctant that I had to tell her three times, ‘you are too fat’.

I somehow saw in her my own shadow, it felt like all I don’t like, but next morning was in it my mother and my sister.

After that I began to think it over that matter about ‘self-realization’. As I couldn’t find it anymore in my parent’s house and not by writing, actually I also couldn’t write anymore, it just didn’t work anymore and after it seemed to me I had tried about everything to get there and it was all in vain, I began to wait for it. 

I read some books and that got me into the inner conviction if we wait long enough the higher self will be there.

I will not change anything until it will be there. So I waited and watched, that was the result of it in not changing anything, I was in the watcher, I was the observer and first it was thoughts and stuff and I meditated usually over the weekend with the Om and I watched things and feeling at work and there was once respect in the air and I went in that direction feeling from the inside that it was right it went more or less in direction of right action. If we have to accept truth, we also have to accept right action and peace and self-sacrifice.

After a while it was not anymore that easy to just wait, I was not sure if it was right what I was doing and one night I had a traumatizing insight, it looked like a wall of fear coming from nowhere, but it was totally enveloping the body, it looked like a wall and today I even know why, because it was all around the body enveloping the body and above and below and in that sense it enveloped the body and in that state was only one thing, the fear to lose the mind, but there was a beginning and an end, it was a temporary state. I thought already it was over, when it came again and this time the fear was about suicide, it was the body level and that scary and I thought I was destroying myself in only waiting for the higher self and I didn’t know if I ever would get there and what was even worse, next day really someone committed suicide, it was kind of a shock, he went under the train and I began to look for a new job in the same place to be able to change something and that is how I got in touch with the higher self.

It was present as light and it was in the dream stage, it was beauty and love and when I woke up that is all I ever wanted and that is when afterwards I quit that job. That was my first confrontation with the dream stage, so that I knew it was a different stage of consciousness it as at the same time elevating in the higher self as it was shocking on the fear level.

I mentioned it the way Osho described it, he said there are three types of fear, the fear of relationship, the fear to lose the mind and the fear of the death of the body. Now that was all present, with Baba we know it as body, mind, atma.

Only the Atma was a different experience, it was the higher self and it had nothing to do with the two other states on mind and body. Now all that I didn’t know and it takes time getting aware of it as it seems.

Baba tells us that by Veda there are four different states, the waking stage, the dream stage, the sleep stage and the fourth stage is Turiya, merging, non-changing, non-conceptual awareness, pure being. We know the first three stages out of our own experience, but for us the sleep stage when we merge back with divinity is only temporary. If it is constantly present and it is no more temporary, it is permanent.  

Later I met those two states as bubbles during the inner child workshop, but only in thinking it over and seeing it in my own life; I got aware of it that it is the same.

Listening to Baba’s words and thinking it over to be able to absorb is not a discussion and it is not fit for argumentation. If I think it over and try to get an answer it is not about discussions and even less arguments. It is about getting aware of it in my own inner self and if there would be a discussion about it that would not work, it would make it either impossible or it would just not be possible to think it over.

Thus trying to make people aware that in the word of Baba is divinity and that he is the word and that we should think it over, most of time I get a positive feedback and it works. We think over Baba’s words and that’s it.

In the world, you will easily see examples of how some families prospered because of unity and others suffered because of divisions within the family. Today the Universe desperately needs unity. It is through faith in God that unity can be promoted. Look at the diversity of people in the halls of Puttaparthi! People come from different creeds, nationalities and culture, but all are united in their common allegiance to Bhagawan.

If Baba uses that example I resent it because I went to him to get answers and to find something better and not to get aware that my family is much worse than I thought it was, when I went to him. 

I read it with resentment, because I am just an example of a family that is not good and they suffer because of no unity. I rather would not want to know that, that no prosper because of being let down by the family, that feels not good. 

He propagates unity to have good and prospered family, so your family must be an example of unity, but it doesn’t make me feel better.

The example of a mind disease and why Baba said, mental depression and that there is no unity possible because of the sickness ‘craving’ in that guys mind and as it seems his drug addiction to suffering, that also doesn’t make us feel better.

The universe needs unity and that is why we went to Swami to find unity and not the opposite, so why I got in touch with that getting aware of the division of my own family in the background and because of only problems, that is not such a great thing.

My mother never accepted the family of my father and only hers was good, that is right, but I was that used to it, I thought it was part of it.

I don’t know anything else, but that they were not okay and that she constantly found fault with them and we never had them for a visit and to be treated like ‘vermin’ by my brother doesn't feel better, but I guess when I get to the point when I think, who wants to see them anyhow, it gets different and in the meantime it begins to be like that more or less.

The picture is the division in the family, we are at the other side of it.

So my mother always tried to make us believe that we had a good family, in the background his family was not okay and good were only those she wanted to see as good and we find the same division now, but in the meantime I don’t care about it that much anymore. 

Somehow Baba seems to take it away.

He somehow ended it when he said that, ‘he is not interested in my message’.

What we looked at as normal upbringing was as it seems not at all like that. 

Thus now we know it is the same and look at all those people in the pictures and don’t feel comfortable about it, we can see that it doesn’t look good really.

Therefore, something should have changed and it should be no more a problem to separate family and that experience. What do we do with the spiritual background, in following the master, fighting to the end and finishing the game, we get to the feeling of the same, no difference or we call it also divinity, omniscience, omnipresence, there is no difference in the felling, it feels the same.

Today the Universe desperately needs unity. It is through faith in God that unity can be promoted. Look at the diversity of people in the halls of Puttaparthi! People come from different creeds, nationalities and culture, but all are united in their common allegiance to Bhagawan. By this single feeling of faith in the Divine, unity is achieved.

Is it not the same, different people, different meditation background and what is wrong in the assumption we can tell people what to do? 

That is also diversity. 

He assumes that we are all spiritual beginners and nobody has any meditation experience, actually he wants to use a kind of initiation to go into Sadhana. 

All of you are embodiments of the Divine. You are embodiments of love and peace, of Divinity; develop this strong conviction. With the power of the Divine to nurture you there is nothing you cannot accomplish. Karna and Ravana are examples of powerful men who were destroyed because they did not have the power of the Divine. The Pandavas were saved because of their faith in the Divine and their unity.

Baba uses here the example of the Pandavas and their unity that saved them and Karna and Ravana were destroyed because they did not have the power of the divine.

My family is not in unity as he told me with about every insight nearly and when I looked at them as normal family and I went for a visit, he made come up the worst and he made me aware of it in nearly every insight that something was definitely wrong.

After I went with my mother for a visit to my brother it was in the air as, ‘your brother does the worst he can do’. It was like no end to the bad side of it and I saw always only what my mother wanted to see the unity of our family, but not the unity of the whole family and now that family is the same, there is no unity. 

I usually think of the problems I had with them and not the all above tendency to avoid my father’s family. 

They were like not existing for my mother and she didn’t want to see them. I remember once I said something not okay about my grandmother and a school mate of mine said that it was a shame how I talk about an old woman and I was ashamed, but that made me aware of the attitude in our own mind. 

I had a cousin in my father’s family I have never met, she must be about my age and someone said that she was nice. She lived only in the village next to ours and I would have liked to meet her and to know her, I never met her, I don’t know her.

And another cousin once she lived in the mountains and I liked her actually very much and I just know from my mother that she is not alive anymore, she took her life as it seems. I was sad when I heard it and I also resented that she made it impossible to have any normal contact with our family only the family she wanted and there is also not much contact, I felt in the end like with all of them, I was not interested in having any contact with the bad or the good after all, it was all the same, disturbed family feeling and that could also not be changed by the family on mother’s side, she always talked only good about.

I felt disturbed by my grand-mother of the father’s side and even ashamed and my mother said they were all not normal, that was in the air with that lady I had to translate for and that is why the shadow was in the air and afterwards the ‘uprooted tree’ I guess, I cannot relate those feelings anymore and my mother’s thinking, I was that far away from it and that is how I get it present again after I don’t know how many years of thinking it over.

I never had that feeling of family anymore when going home and that is why I always left again and wanted to never go back, but I didn’t know why it felt like that.

In my mother’s head the family was normal and okay and her family and she noticed only later that we never would get along and probably she didn’t know why.

When Baba is telling us, ‘listen, think it over and absorb’ it doesn’t mean we should go into discussions about it and argue about it and maybe that is the reason nobody is doing it, because when we get such feedback, we actually think it would have been better to tell nothing at all. 

And that is what I did first until someone said that she couldn’t sleep anymore and she had not peaceful meditation because of that, she asked for the feedback so I did and now I see myself in the midst of it and I really don’t want that.

If Swami tells us, ‘listen, think it over and absorb’ it is about absorbing it and not about argumentation, but I kind of begin to understand that nobody does it or feels comfortable enough to do it, because the response coming back from some is on the level of arguing only and it feels not good, or they tell that we interpret Swami’s words.

The best time I remember is after I finished my book and I was doing the corrections and he more or less guided from the inside and it was a great feeling and I felt really happy, I had finally done what I always wanted to do.

He is telling us, ‘listen, think it over and absorb’, it is the dream stage level and he is on all three stages that we know, he told us and they always try to do something on the outer waking stage level and are not aware of it that Sai Baba is not on that level, he always said, ‘inner view’ not interview, insight …, most of people have no idea what it is and therefore, they seem not be able to live it. 

It feels like a bell ringing, but it is cracked, there is something in the way it sounds what doesn’t sound good and the same feeling I had and I left and I had that feeling like dusty or cracked. 

I left and there was another one outside of the room and she was not with the singers and I got that tired and felt that exhausted after singing for some hours, I just had to go home and she said, ‘are you leaving already, are you not afraid of going outside in the dark to your car?’ And I didn’t want to be rude so I didn’t answer, mind your own business, I just said, ‘yes, I have to go’ and I left.

It is always that strange feeling in the air, like being some kind of different star and not really where I am with them and maybe it has to do with that TM-thing and that we didn’t feel yet that it was the same?

I remember that impression I had with one of the meditation-teachers when I met him, he said something and it felt somehow that dusty and like something he had said too many times, actually he felt like that and I heard that someone else said she had that impression dusty, always tell the same thing since I don’t know how many years, always the same, it must feel dusty in the meantime, not like flowing water as it is always the same thing.

The bell has a crack and I really don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t feel like it at all, he is looking for it on the wrong level as most of them do, his focus is on the wrong place.

If we would do a good job, he would thank me first for the input, for the thoughts for the days and Baba’s words and make the best out of it, but arguing about it, how stupid of him.

He didn’t read the thought for the day, as he did the first time. 

I maybe always should put it at the beginning when it is about Sai devotees. It seems he gets that emotional, he cannot just think it over and read it, he goes in details and likes to argue and like it was already months ago, he doesn’t see the woods for the trees.

So what else did I expect?