The doctor first diagnoses the disease and then prescribes the
course of treatment. So too, you must submit yourself to the diagnosis of your
illness, viz. misery, travail, and pain through Self-Enquiry. Investigate
fearlessly and with care, and you will find that your nature is bliss (ananda)! You have falsely identified yourself with the temporary, the
frivolous and the paltry, and that attachment brings sorrow. Realise that both
joy and sorrow are passing phases, like clouds across the blue sky. Learn to
treat prosperity and adversity with equanimity. Just as fish lives only when it
is immersed in water, so too human being lives only when immersed in bliss. You
must have bliss at home, in society, and in the world, but more than all, in
your heart. Your heart is the spring of joy. That spring must be touched by
constant recitation of Lord’s Name and dwelling on His Glory. Never give way to
doubt or despair.
Baba
If we listen to
Baba’s words and think it over it is like a hidden truth and message in his words.
If Swami tells ‘mental depression’ we have to listen to understand it right and
to get the message in his words. It is a disease and what we think depression
is in the West is not the same, but when we see it in the light of his words,
it changes. What does he call a disease? It is carving for worldly stuff.
It feels still kind
of stunning to see the image of a treat, of a swindler and what didn’t make
sense, it just switches inside and becomes the picture of deception and I
called it an impostor before, but it is different if we call it like that or
when we get the picture of it, because it is reflected in his words.
The doctor first diagnoses the disease and then prescribes the
course of treatment. So too, you must submit yourself to the diagnosis of your
illness, viz. misery, travail, and pain through Self-Enquiry. Investigate
fearlessly and with care, and you will find that your nature is bliss (ananda)!
You have falsely identified yourself with the temporary, the
frivolous and the paltry, and that attachment brings sorrow. Realise that both
joy and sorrow are passing phases, like clouds across the blue sky. Learn to
treat prosperity and adversity with equanimity. Just as fish lives only when it
is immersed in water, so too human being lives only when immersed in bliss. You
must have bliss at home, in society, and in the world, but more than all, in
your heart. Your heart is the spring of joy. That spring must be touched by
constant recitation of Lord’s Name and dwelling on His Glory. Never give way to
doubt or despair.
We know this is for
everybody the same, if we are identified with the temporary, but Baba didn’t
tell to all about disease and that it was a sickness, he said it to that person
only and that he had mental depression and he didn’t do anything about it and
that felt kind of strange.
We didn’t know how to
listen to his words and we didn’t hear the warning about sickness, it means it
is much worse than we thought it was. It was all present and that is why he was
blaming others to hide behind it so that we should not get aware that we were
fooled by him.
Swami is telling us
that we should always seek what is truthful and joyful and avoid all thoughts
with are untrue, sad and depressing and that these are not traits of a spiritual
aspirant or devotee.
Getting to the conclusion
looking at it or seeing it in the reflection of his words is not the same and
here he confirms it that this is not a trait of a spiritual aspirant and that
he is not a devotee. We find the confirmation about it reflected in Swami’s
words.
It is not the nature of a spiritual aspirant to search for
faults in others and hide their own. If your faults are pointed out to you by
someone, don’t argue and try to prove yourself right, and don’t bear a grudge against
them for it. Reason out within yourself how it is a fault and set right your
own behavior. Rationalising it for your own satisfaction or wreaking vengeance
on the person who pointed it out —these are not the traits of a spiritual
aspirant or devotee.
What does he tell us
here, that is why he was looking for the faults in others so that he could hide
his own and what are that, taking advantage of it what means he was a fraud, a
trickster an impostor. Swami is also telling us that it will harm our practices
and that it did and that it will bring ill-luck and that it did as well.
Depression, doubt, conceit —these will harm one’s practices and
are akin to Rahu and Kethu (planets which bring ill-luck). When your devotion is well
established, these qualities will be easily discarded. Seek always the truthful
and the joyful, and avoid all thoughts which are untrue, sad and depressing.
Always be cheerful, smiling, and enthusiastic under all circumstances. This
pure attitude is most desirable. Never get inflated when praised or deflated
when blamed - be a spiritual lion!
In the last thoughts
for the day Swami was telling us that people crave for worldly happiness and that
craving is the disease and we have to think it over to get the real meaning in
his words or the hidden truth. He is calling it disease and sickness and we
have the diagnoses of the disease and we know that Swami told about ‘mental
depression’, a disease. If he mentioned disease it is a sickness or the ill
health is in reality craving for worldly happiness and he is as well telling us
that he will not change, there is no time and space to have a desire for the
divine.
If it would not have
been a sickness, he would not have said so. Swami is always telling the truth.
He would not have
called it disease and mental depression and if we would have known about it we
would have been more careful. It is craving for worldly happiness, the craving
is a disease. We didn’t listen otherwise; we would never have gone into it.
We were fooled into
it and the craving was the disease and still is. Now it does make sense and we
feel his words we know what craving means and also what sufferings as the drugs
we take. In fact such a person is drugged with sufferings and he doesn’t want
to stop that suffering, otherwise, there would be no more reason to crave for
the worldly happiness. As Swami is telling us the craving itself is the disease
and the suffering is the drug what makes us go on and if we are in that, there
is rarely the desire to attain divinity and that is why I asked what he did in
Swami’s presence, he never had the slightest desire to attain the Lord, it was
just about cravings and hoping Swami would give what he wanted.
The more we think we
know, easier it is to deceive us.
People crave worldly happiness; this craving itself is the
disease, and sufferings are but the drugs we take. In the midst of these, one
rarely entertains the desire to attain the Lord.
He tells us also why
we have to analyze and discriminate and it is not possible to renounce without discrimination as he said it is not possible to get detached without
self-enquiry. If we think self-enquiry is just asking questions and thinking
about who we are, if we don’t actually know who we are, we are wrong, that is
called illusion.We look for the
answer on the wrong level and in the mind where it does make sense seemingly,
there we can see and we think we find the answer but it is the wrong level.
Do you know the story
of the old wise woman looking for the needle outside of her hut and the
villagers came and asked, ‘what are you looking for’ and she answered, ‘I am
looking for my needle’. The villagers were sorry with her and began to help her
searching for the lost needle. Finally one asked, ‘but where have you lost it?’
And she answered, ‘inside in the hut’.
And he said, ‘but you
must be a bit troubled because why are we looking for it outside of your hut if
you have lost it inside?’ She answered, ‘but isn’t that what you all are doing?
We have lost the self inside, but there it is dark and we cannot see and
therefore, we are all looking for it at the outside’. That is how she was
teaching a lesson to the villagers.
Self-enquiry needs a
mirror and in the Atman we have that mirror and in listening to Swami’s words
we recognize that his words reflect the same truth reflected in the mirror of
our own self. Without that analyzes we have no spirit of renunciation.
However, it is necessary to analyse and discriminate, for the
spirit of renunciation is born out of such analysis. Without enquiry,
detachment cannot be obtained.
As everything is based
on untruth he is a swindler, a fraud, he pretends to do spiritual practice to
deceive others so that he can take advantage of it and when we get the point of
it his, because his ignoble behavior doesn’t make sense in listening to Swami’s
words he is telling us indirectly why he is blaming others and never looked for
the fault in himself, because he was deliberately hiding behind it.
He makes others
believe that the fault is with them, not to feel better, what I thought first,
not because he is helpless, but it is all acting only and it is to hide behind
it because nobody should notice that he is a cheat and a fraud. If we get aware
of his mask, he cannot take advantage of it anymore.
In his attitude we
see miserliness and Swami calls it the behavior of a dog and if we question the
dog we get the picture and why behavior of a dog, but it is difficult to get it
and to understand such a sad truth.
Anger is the enemy of
the spiritual aspirant. It was all there, anger, miserliness, untruth and
theft. These words match nearly perfectly. It felt that disgraceful and
dangerous and it was not possible to be ourselves and he just said, ‘can you
blame me’, pretending we were the reason for him hiding behind it, it was all
not true. It was fooling others and it was dishonest and also better to not say
anything at all than to risk an exchange of words and an explosion, it felt too
dangerous and I always wondered where that came from, it didn’t make sense.
Swami is telling us that untruth destroys all vital powers; therefore, it leads
to mental depression. If we think it over we get the truth behind Swami’s
words. If we would have listened, we would have known better.
It is not a matter
that we didn’t know at that time how to listen, it is about listening in general,
we didn’t listen and therefore we made a big mistake going into fraud and we
were taken advantage of by a swindler. That is also why the feelings were
dangerous and it felt like if it would explode someone could get hurt, it was
better to not know actually, the fraud was that immoral and shameful.
Miserliness is like the behavior of a dog; it must be
transformed. Anger is the first enemy of a spiritual aspirant. Untruth is even
worse - it destroys all the vital powers.
If there is ‘mental
depression’, what means a disease and a disease is due to craving for worldly
things as he just said, if we listen and think it over we get the truth if, but
not if we don’t hear it and we didn’t hear it and we didn’t listen at that time.
It is much worse than I thought it was, it is actually real bad and most of all
that I was not aware of it.
If we have to live
with an attitude of miserliness and the spirit behind it is to take advantage
of it, what is that behavior, the behavior of a dog. There was also anger and
untruth, because nothing he said was true as he wanted to not be seen, that is
how it does make sense. He is a swindler, if we would have known we would not
have gone for it. We didn’t listen yet to Baba and he was actually already
telling us that he was a swindler, that is why he had a personal interview, of
course, he was eager to tell everybody about it and that was also clear that he
would tell that Baba said he suffered of ‘mental depression’ a disease of
craving for worldly stuff. That is what he did to make it obvious only we
didn’t listen. He suffers from the disease of mental depression and that can
only be if there is untruth and all vital forces are destroyed by it and if
there is craving for worldly things and so he still sends not inspiration about
spiritual things, but book about think and get rich.
What felt confusing
was that Swami said that first he gives what we ask for so that we can take
what he came to give us. I thought it was part of it and that he would change,
but that was wrong.
There is also theft.
In the mind attitude only taking advantage of it, is also steeling our life and
he fooled us into something which couldn’t possibly work and it was the direct
path to ruin.
It was in the insight
as ‘ruin’ and twice and not only once. First insight was about the homeless
beggar woman on the streets and ruin in the air, in that moment it was not even
clear anymore that it was about an insight and not just a nightmare. The second dream was after we left and he was
standing in a ruin and said, that is all I could get in garage sales. It was
cheap and the precious life we had experienced in Baba’s presence felt worse
than rotten food.
In those words we
find the reflection of it and if we listen, we also hear it, but if we don’t
listen and we didn’t know how to listen, otherwise, when Baba said ‘mental
depression’ and it was a private interview, and of course it was outside level and the
first thing he told us, about the private interview and the mental depression,
he had a disease and if we would have known, we would have been more careful
than to be fooled and going into it, but we went into it.
If we would have
listened and understood Baba’s words as he said that his health was not good
and that he had mental depression, it would have been a warning, but we didn’t
know how to listen. Everything was a warning, also the personal interview.
That is why
everything what he tells is always on the wrong level, because he never has the
right attitude. Swami explains it. Swami was present with vampire teeth in the
dream, he explains here why, because untruth destroys all vital powers. The
disease was craving for worldly things.
He went to Swami and didn’t
know what was doing and he just took advantage of it, he is a swindler, he is a
cheater and he made us think it was a Baba Lila, no conscience, no moral values
and he doesn’t take any responsibility, therefore, he blames others for it so
he can hide behind it. That all makes sense now and now we know why he talked
like that. He looked for the fault in others to hide behind it that we should
not get aware that he is a swindler, he slimed himself into trust with Baba and
his boss behind it in which room he was living.
He is a liar and a
cheat, that are the synonyms if we look over cheat: deceive, trick, con,
swindle, defraud, bamboozle, take advantage of and bilk. Some of it are new to
me like bamboozle and bilk, but Baba said that he took only advantage of it in
the dream, that are the synonyms.
It means also dupe or
fool someone and it means we were fooled and we don’t get easily the image of
it as we looked at a Baba devotee first and even a meditator. When he said that
he never did it, it was like a shock and it just didn’t make sense, we were not
used to think that bad in Baba’s presence.
It is difficult to
get the picture and to get aware of it how it really was.
He was neither one
nor the other, but a trickster and he fooled us taking advantage of it and we
listened to it at the outside mind level and thought that we should trust and
not put it in question, what was wrong understood by do good, see good, be good,
we thought moral values were the outside teaching.
When we get the
picture, it is like aware of a different person and a complicated background
and why it was appearing like a spiritual aspirant in Swami’s presence when it
was that behavior of a dog and that is what Baba is telling us here, it is not
the trait of a spiritual aspirant or of a devotee. Swami is with these words
confirming it no trace of a devotee in someone who has the attitude of
miserliness but it is the behavior of a dog and not a devotee.
Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than
rotten food.
That was the
experience of it, cheaper than rotten food, only garage sales, that felt
cheaper than rotten food and the precious time with Swami in the ashram had
turned into something cheaper than rotten food. That was it, when he was standing in a ruin
and he was wearing a red woman skirt and a black fur jacket and he said, ‘that
is all I could get in garage sales’, it felt like that - cheaper than rotten
food.
Swami knows the right
words to describe it.
It is much worse than
I thought it was and that is the mud hole. What Swami is telling us is with the
mud hole, all efforts are of no use, no traits of a devotee, no door, no
windows, but a mud hole and every expectation that he would change was in vain
and time and energy lost.
There is no answers on
that level and nothing to expect from a dog, only stupid answers blaming others
to hid behind it because he want us to stay in the delusion that he is a
devotee and a nice guy if his disguise as devotee is gone, he cannot take
advantage of it anymore.
It is not in his
interest that we see truth, so he goes on in the disguise of a spiritual
aspirant for future opportunities to come so he can again take advantage of it
and that he did already when he wanted to come here to open up a money
box.
He doesn’t want to be
seen as cheat that is why he also came back at the time with that woman he went
into arguments and fights and he said, ‘what have you done?’ No doubt it was in
purpose putting the fault on someone else so that he could hide behind it and
not one word he said was true as usual. We should not get aware of the fraud
and that nothing was okay what he said. If we would have been able to look
behind his disguise he couldn’t anymore take advantage of it.
And that is the
advice Baba gives us if we are in that situation, we have to go on with
self-control to get out of it, as such a dog behavior is only creating troubles
and harm.
Moderate food, moderate sleep, selfless love, and fortitude will
help in the upkeep of the health of both your body and the mind. Whoever you
are, in whatever condition you may be, do not give room for dispiritedness! Be
fearless and remember the Lord with unshaken faith and without any ulterior
motive, all suffering and sorrow will fall away.
And it was not on
that level we could get right answers, it was a mud hole, no windows, no door,
no transformation, no change and no hope that something would change, but he looks
at himself as a nice guy talking advantage of it. All he said, ‘can you blame
me’, he thinks he is clever.
If we listen to
Baba’s words and think it over we get the message, but we have to listen to it
to be able to absorb the truth in his words.
What happens when the
higher values are not used for a higher purpose, but just to take advantage of
it, we don’t have any more higher values and what was the most precious and
great before has lost its value and it is no more magical and charming as it
has been, it is no more priceless, but cheaper than rotten food.
Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than
rotten food.
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