Cheaper than Rotten Food

People crave worldly happiness; this craving itself is the disease, and sufferings are but the drugs we take. In the midst of these, one rarely entertains the desire to attain the Lord. However, it is necessary to analyze and discriminate, for the spirit of renunciation is born out of such analysis. Without enquiry, detachment cannot be obtained. Miserliness is like the behavior of a dog; it must be transformed. Anger is the first enemy of a spiritual aspirant. Untruth is even worse - it destroys all the vital powers. Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food. Moderate food, moderate sleep, selfless love, and fortitude will help in the upkeep of the health of both your body and the mind. Whoever you are, in whatever condition you may be, do not give room for dispiritedness! Be fearless and remember the Lord with unshaken faith and without any ulterior motive, all suffering and sorrow will fall away.

Baba (thought for the day)

Today we have again one of those thought for the day, first we read it and we just read it and in thinking it over it seems to be the answer we had been looking for or better, Baba is using the right words to describe our experience of it.

Are we craving for worldly happiness, if is hot. We are in a heat wave and I thought about it how nice it would be on the ocean, the flowers, the wind and the sunshine, here it gets too hot and we don’t have the cool breeze we have constantly if we are living on the ocean. My parents had years ago a house on near the ocean in Spain. They retired in Spain. 

People crave worldly happiness; this craving itself is the disease, and sufferings are but the drugs we take. In the midst of these, one rarely entertains the desire to attain the Lord.

Craving for worldly happiness?

It is too hot to go outside and after all I don’t like the public swimming bath really or maybe not anymore. It is much too hot on the balcony and not possible to take a sun bath.

We stay in the shade with cool drinks. My cats are lying around all day sleeping, we have the temperature of India and one cat got yesterday a bath, she didn’t smell good and in that heat she didn’t really liked it, but it was after all no problem. It took not even a quarter of an hour and she was already dry in the sun on the balcony liking her fur and so many hairs were flying around we had to brush her and we got three brushed full of hair until it began to get better again.

The heat wave comes by surprise, it is not so that it starts slowly and it gets hotter, a week ago it was yet cold and not hot at all.  

Last night when I went to sleep, my daughter came and got her swimwear for today and she left again and I tried to go asleep again thinking positively hoping she found a good guy, she has a new boyfriend, but the man coming in our dream to awake us was like, ‘unfortunately not and there was a heap of cold cut meat as image and some they ate already and the color was black’. If I interpret that dream, we have the black, what is Tamas, no relationship just meat, body pleasure and when the heap is finished, the relationship will be done with. And I thought, ‘no, I am not going to worry all night and listen to that and after I cannot sleep anymore, because of too much scary insights’, sometimes I just have enough. I took a half a sleeping pill so I was able to sleep and didn’t get any more troubling dreams.

I cannot do anything about it anyhow and it is just a kind of worry and in the end we can tell, ‘I knew it’.  But we will tell her, ‘enjoy it as long as it lasts and go and look for someone else and this time for a relationship’. As it happens most of times, she puts her hopes into it and the man who is in our dream to awake us takes all my hopes already away.

 And he tells us not to worry? But we have to accept truth and in that sense it must be better to know it than to hope for something which is not. Or I will tell her from the beginning on if she wants to make something out of it she has to focus on the relationship.

 People crave worldly happiness; this craving itself is the disease, and sufferings are but the drugs we take. In the midst of these, one rarely entertains the desire to attain the Lord. However, it is necessary to analyze and discriminate, for the spirit of renunciation is born out of such analysis. Without enquiry, detachment cannot be obtained.

 I will not go to the sea, I stay here and the heat wave is passing by. So it is actually the heat that makes me feel like that.

Swami reminds us here that we have to analyze and discriminate. And he even is telling us why; the spirit of renunciation is born out of such analysis.

Do you know the spirit of renunciation? For me it feels like it is the first time I hear it.

However, it is necessary to analyze and discriminate, for the spirit of renunciation is born out of such analysis. Without enquiry, detachment cannot be obtained.

Did you know that without enquiry detachment cannot be obtained? The images reflected in the insights, it is the mirror of the heart or Atma, the non-changing always present and permanent state of pure love and pure being. It seems those images are there giving us some work to do, we have to enquire about it, because dreams don’t make sense that easily.

Without enquiry, detachment cannot be obtained.

That are Swami’s words and now we know why we have to enquire, don’t we? Of is there a doubt about it? He tells it to us in a way that is clear beyond doubt.

Two devotees of our center have put a whole book about ‘I am’ on tape with the purpose to listen to it when we are for example driving the car, instead of listening to music and by listening it gets hammered into our consciousness and with time we get familiar with it. That is a great idea and if we listen to Baba’s words and repeat again and again, ‘listen, think it over, absorb’, we find also a way doing it.

As Baba is telling us here, without enquiry, detachment cannot be obtained. Why we ever wondered that we have to enquire about it? We are more astonished that it is not done all over and we all finds ways to get deeper into it. In the study circle a participant talked about the experience, the experiencer and the experienced.  Nobody who is not thinking about Baba’s wisdom would talk about that, it needs a certain level of enquiry and being open in the mind to be able to even think about the three in one.

Miserliness is like the behavior of a dog; it must be transformed. Anger is the first enemy of a spiritual aspirant. Untruth is even worse - it destroys all the vital powers. Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food.

And that is how we are thinking it over, here is the example that brings us back in our memories to the experiences we had twenty years ago and all the bad qualities we met and why it felt like ‘ruin’ in the air, it was very scary, but here Baba gives us the right words so that we can actually get to the right conclusion.

It tells us how ignorance ruins our life and we are back to the example of my ex, no peace. No peace and why we see in those words. He had a dream in 96 that I had to go back to Baba and make peace with him and the arguments he had why I was that ‘stupid’ that I had to go back to a someone like Swami to make peace with him. It sounded kind of rotten, like he is describing here, we have the precious human life Baba makes us aware of and he reduced it to something that was worse than rotten food.

He said that I had to go and make peace with Baba, that was spring 96 and in a year it will be twenty years ago and he has not learnt the lesson. It is not possible that peace with him, still today, so that is why we had to go to Baba to make peace with him, because with that guy was no peace, but Baba goes on and tells us here exactly why.

It seems kind of unbelievable that someone like that goes every year to the ashram for weeks, but he is like a blind mule. He is not able to listen to Swami and if someone is not listening, how can the behavior of a dog be transformed? A dog is a good example, the dog will also never do it by himself, we have to actually train the dog.

 Miserliness is like the behavior of a dog; it must be transformed.

How do we transform someone like that who is miserly since I knew him and he has not been transformed until today.

We began to feel that miserliness when it was about his daughter, he preferred to ignore everything so he didn’t have to pay for her alimony, until 2003 he didn’t pay anything at all and he went for that three years to college and he didn’t pass the tests in the end, just thinking about himself only, not about anybody else.

How do we transform miserliness? After divorce and that is probably the reason why it took that long, when in Swami’s presence it was in the insight, ‘you didn’t listen, you have to get a divorce’, he ignored it, he didn’t listen.

It made no sense still, I thought we could meet again in Baba’s presence, but not it does make sense when looking at miserliness that he didn’t, because he was afraid that he had to help to take care of the daughter and pay something for her. He began like that already in Luxembourg; he said he didn’t go to a birthday party because he had to pay a present. I told him that was sick and he worked in Luxembourg before for his boss and when he came back the business stopped as it seems and he lost his job and as he couldn’t find something else his boss sent him to Baba. There is was living in his room and talked only about him, because it put him in a good light.

Has it been transformed, no it hasn’t.

After he signed the divorce agreement my lawyer inquired about how much he was able to pay and he paid of course the minimum, he said he paid about a thousand dollars a month rent to his sister for the flat he lived in, he went from in a month time to his sister and lived afterwards in her basement, that was the cheapest of course. So why he was living there, because he didn’t have to pay anything and he took advantage also of his sister and when she moved, he didn’t care about helping her, he just watched and took care of his own stuff.

When my daughter went to her for a visit she said that he never paid any rent, so he said it only to not have to pay more for his own daughter. That is a so called devotee …

And in thinking over Baba’s words and reflecting on it the hidden truth is coming up, just thinking it over and considering the insights and the dreams and that the inner master said in the dream that he took only advantage of it and that therefore, I should send him the bill, and it is obvious that something is wrong.

The sister sold the house and she said that she felt kind of taken advantage of by her own brother, of course, he could live there for free and that was the only thing what he wanted actually, because of his miserliness. Before he hoped my parents would take care of him and of all of us and when I asked him if he had lost his mind, he didn’t hear it, he went on and on every day new telling me that the parents are there for that and that they should take care of us.

It was a shame and it was really awkward to listen to that bullshit coming out of his mouth the moment he said something.

In these three sentences we find it all, the miserliness, there was no new dress in all those years we had been tighter and as it seems it ended with the insight, all he could find in garage sales, the cheaper the better, it should not cost a dollar, it was better when it cost only 20 cents and that hidden behind the mask of a devotee who goes for week every year to the ashram just because it is affordable, because living in the ashram is actually for people coming from abroad very cheap and he just took advantage of it and he is going on taking advantage of it.

Anger is the first enemy of a spiritual aspirant. Untruth is even worse - it destroys all the vital powers. Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food.

No anger and that is also a story.

I told him one day that I don’t think it will work out between us and that is not right what he said and I was not the wife Baba  has send to him. He said everything only to get me into it and I always said that I didn’t know, but I thought nevertheless, maybe it could be true and that would be great so seeing only the good I went for it. And as we know in the meantime he talked me by all means into it and he pretended to be even for his whole life a meditator, he knew it when he was initiated that he would do it his whole life and later one day he said that he actually never did it and I got kind of a shock, it didn’t make sense, who would do that? Yes, and that’s it, who would do that but him? But he did.

As I told him we had an exchange of words and he took the metal cooking pot and hit on my head and I thought he would kill me, at least ten times he hit, I was helpless sitting at the floor and I think I had even the baby on my arms, she was not even a year old at that time and she fell asleep on the spot and we felt kind of lucky that it didn’t end in a skull fracture.

I was walking around with sun glasses in the ashram with black eyes for about fourteen days and nobody asked me what had happened, maybe I was good in hiding, sitting in Darshan with sun glasses. My eyes had never looked like that before, I was in a shock, I couldn’t think anymore. I was like paralyzed and didn’t believe that this happened to me in Swami’s presence. 

Last evening my daughter talked with a work colleague of hers and she told her that she is pregnant and she was with a guy and he said that he wanted a child as well and I told her some guys tell anything to make you go for it and now when she is pregnant he refused to acknowledge that he is the father and he hit her.

In that picture was the vampire present, I could see the long, sharp teeth, which were also in Baba’s face in the dream before we left. It seems therefore, it has to do with violence the vampire teeth and after that I didn’t dear to tell him off anymore, I couldn’t talk to him anymore, as it was constantly that danger in the air that someone would get killed if I would.

In that situation to not go into arguing I said, ‘we met with Swami, he will find a way’ and I stopped talking about and I didn’t go into his harassing ways or constant arguing about something, but when I once felt good I could watch him going on until I felt bad again, I could see the energy falling down, I don’t remember one word of it, he went on and on, in the end it was just my energy getting lower again and in that situation we have been until my daughter was six in that relationship with a so called devotee.

As I had to go and make peace with Swami in his dream, we left and I was glad be called by Baba in that way, but after all I was still scared in the ashram of Swami’s influence, I was afraid I would see everything ideal and with golden glasses again and that he could send us back. The way it had been at the beginning and nothing was true and that therefore, I would not be able to make the right decision or ignore everything what happened again and go back to that so called ‘husband’ who was present as a monster with vampire teeth and a very long nose. It was Baba in the dream having such a face, he had actually two faces, one was a Baba with vampire teeth and the other a Baba with a very long nose.

More we think it over, more it makes sense, the vampire teeth have to do with violence and the long nose with fooling us into it.  

Untruth is even worse - it destroys all the vital powers. Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food.

There was no truth, there was only untruth and as he explains here, it destroys all vital powers. And the vital powers have also to do with breath. 

Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food.

 We have all the negative insights; we went through in that relationship. In the end after we left there he was in the insight, I thought it was a dream, standing in a ruin, he was wearing a ridiculous woman skirt and a black fur jacket. 

If we look at the vital energy as the breath and prana, we find the colors, the black woman fur jacket made him look wealthy, even when he got it only in a garage sale. It is not that nice to make the experience Baba is talking about it here.

But that is exactly what it was, we had the anger, the untruth and the miserliness and why it was in the air as ruin. He has ruined our life and it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food, all we could get in garage sales, miserliness was behind it, untruth taking advantage of it, theft in telling us that his attention was on meditation and spiritual matters when nothing was true, he was steeling our life and taking advantage of his sister being nice not paying any rent and telling us that he did so he had not to care about his daughter and he paid less than he really should, that is theft.

Moderate food, moderate sleep, selfless love, and fortitude will help in the upkeep of the health of both your body and the mind. Whoever you are, in whatever condition you may be, do not give room for dispiritedness! Be fearless and remember the Lord with unshaken faith and without any ulterior motive, all suffering and sorrow will fall away.

And here he tells us how to go on after such an unpleasant experience getting always to the conclusion with Sami’s insight that he ruined our life.

There was anger, there was untruth, there was miserliness and there was theft and it ended in ruin and I wondered why ruin. I went on because we had to learn the lesson.

It didn’t make sense and least of all that I had met that guy in the Swami’s ashram, I had met a demon, that was the conclusion, but it is not enough, we have to realize it again and again in Swami’ words, because without self-enquiry detachment is not possible.

At the beginning I had problems to think it over always again and I got tired of remembering it always again, but I think it gets less as time goes by.

Whoever you are, in whatever condition you may be, do not give room for dispiritedness! Be fearless and remember the Lord with unshaken faith and without any ulterior motive, all suffering and sorrow will fall away.

Whoever we are and in whatever condition we may be and it didn’t feel good and a certain time back when I read that, it was not about dispiritedness, it was more like disgust that something like that happened in his presence and we had to go on until finally we got out of it and now we have to think it over again and again when we would like to forget it. But I guess the problem is not solved in forgetting it, but in thinking it over and it takes as long as it takes, but we just get used to it that he is all the bad examples Swami ever mentioned and Swami has the right words for it.

I went on remembering the Lord, I went into dynamic meditation too scared of it, and I didn’t go back anymore after the divorce agreement was signed. Nothing made sense anymore and at least of all that these all had happened in the ashram and there were no answers for it.

It forced us into that enquiry and without we cannot get detached. 

Be fearless and remember the Lord with unshaken faith and without any ulterior motive, all suffering and sorrow will fall away.

He keeps us that busy thinking it over and realizing why it was present as 'ruin' in our dream, the insights and it keeps us too busy getting aware of it and how he calls anger, untruth, miserliness and the thief and that it ruins out life, that was exactly the experience we made with that guy we had met under the pretext to be a devotee in the ashram. It is the miserliness what made him go on and he never asked if we would also come to the ashram at the same time and meet in Baba’s presence as family, I never understood it, but now we do and see in it the father who is too cheap to care about his daughter and that calls himself nevertheless a Baba devotee, he is hiding behind it and it makes our life cheaper than rotten food, that is the right expression for it.

Theft ruins life; it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food.

To think we could enjoy the shore or the sea, the longing of being at the ocean is gone and it seems it has that something to do with detachment?
Facing the reality of what it really is and how it feels in Swami’s words, thinking it over, whatever condition we may be, do not give room for dispiritedness. That is heavy and we forget the tasted of just enjoying life or the weather or the sun or a vacation and to just relax. How can we just relax if that happened in Baba's presence and after twenty years later it is now a lesson, Swami uses the right words, but there are nevertheless twenty years in between.

Cheaper than rotten food, that is the right expression and now we know why we never met again in Swami’s presence after that and why it took that long, the word is miserliness and why it makes that difficult to see the value in it, because it makes the priceless human life cheaper than rotten food.

It is the right expression and the right image for it and how it feels, as Swami is explaining it in his lovingly manner, it is the result of anger, miserliness, untruth and theft.