Maximize the Good

Everyone is liable to make mistakes without being aware of it. However bright a fire maybe, there will be smoke emanating from it. So also, whatever good a person might do, there will be a minute trace of evil. Make every effort to ensure that the bad or evil is minimized, and good is maximized. You may not succeed in the first attempt. Carefully think over the consequences of whatever you do or talk. In whatever way you want others to honor you, love you, or behave with you, in the same way you should first behave with others, and love and honor them. Then they will reciprocate. Instead, without you honoring or loving others, if you complain that they are not treating you properly, it is surely a wrong conclusion. Those who advise others about true and good conduct must follow the advice themselves. Then there is no need for advice, others would simply learn the lesson by example.

Baba (thought for the day)

If I try to excuse everybody making mistakes in my life without being aware of it including myself, it gets kind of interesting.

Starting with TM I had been in a relationship with the national leader. His former girl-friend went to mother divine and he told me he checked it with the Maharishi and the Maharishi said no. I was a new TM-teacher and I thought, okay, no is no and it made him for sure also more attractive to know he could check it with the Maharishi and he had lots of TM-experience.

There is kind of an attraction like with Baba, we don’t know really why, but it there is pull in direction of a spiritual master. So everything I did seemed to be the highest first, because it actually went in direction of the Maharishi, only it was a mistake and I was not aware of it and why, because the Maharishi was not there.

So what was the highest first, even if he was not there, it was anyhow the Maharishi.

I thought I would be able to learn a lot with the national leader and I regretted that I had not been with TM before, until the former girl-friend came back.

After all it was not that simple as I thought and ‘no was not a no’ and it seemed he used me actually to get her back from that course.

As the Maharishi was not anymore in Seelisberg the policy of him checking it with the Maharishi seemed somehow more difficult as he was no in Seelisberg anymore and on a certain level I felt exposed to him, because I couldn’t decide about the relationship and I had to wait for him checking it with the Maharishi. I went on course when she came back and I thought that was the highest, but it was a snake pit. She was on a parallel course and came to me and said, that it was checked already again.

With TM we just meditate and it was like I couldn’t think clearly anymore, how could it be checked again?

During the course the air broke into pieces and I finished it to do the right thing, right action, the Maharishi said if we say A we also have to tell B. During that course the air broke in pieces, that was an insight and Baba tells us if we separate peace and right action there are only pieces left.

That is what happened during the teacher’s training it put together peace, truth and right action and the result was pure love. TM teachers serve others in initiating people into meditation.

What happened on that second course it was separated again, only pieces left and we cannot build our life or future on pieces only.

After the course I came back and I went back to the TM-center and it was the question now how to go on and I got in touch inside with Baba, he was present as divinity in the heart and I knew that is where I had to go.

As I was a TM-teacher I had still the national leader on the phone and I didn’t care anymore about what had happened before, as I had nothing to lose anymore and I knew there were only pieces left and the question was just how to leave, but I was also scared of the TM-movement and having them against me.

He noticed that I felt too good and one day he was standing again in front of the door telling me the story that Sophie had set an ultimatum if he would go to Zurich, it would be finished either her or me and he said that was not right. I was like laughing out loud, and a year after only he got aware that it was not right? I had been with him in a relationship and he was not aware that it was not right?

Actually I didn’t believe him one word.
I thought that he took Sophie as excuse because he was challenged again by the situation and he wanted to know how far he could go. He was bored and he thought he could do whatever he wanted with the others. With that checking business he kept me on the long line and I felt exposed to him and now he wanted to see again how far he could go and I thought, okay, I go for it, I also will see how far it goes this time, because I had nothing to lose anymore.

When I went with him to the Maharishi it was still in the hope that he would change something, but he didn’t, as he just tried to find out how far he could go and he took advantage of it, it was in the air above the Maharishi as ‘criminal’.

We had hardly any master experience and so how should I know that a great seer like Maharishi (maha – great and rishi – seer) will see it in the air and that I would be aware of it.

I didn’t know what I saw and how to understand it, but I knew I had nothing to lose and it was done.
That Maharishi had warned him before about that lady that she had a big ego and that he didn’t listen and he told him that if he would not hold up the light, someone else would do it at his place and he didn’t listen.

I went to Baba afterwards, but there I was in a total new environment and around a master everything looks different and nothing made sense anymore. I had no idea what the insights meant and I had asked him in the first interview about it and he asked, ‘who is our friend, is the Maharishi your friend or is the friend with the Maharishi’ and I didn’t know, I didn’t understand anything anymore in Baba’s presence, not why there had been only pieces left and nothing else.
Every time I tried to reflect or think about it, it was like impossible to think, it just didn’t work.

So actually I didn’t trust in the national leader and I expected to stay aware of it, but after I had been with Baba and I came back here and I felt totally cut off of everything and my life had like evaporated in thin air, it was just not present anymore and the question Baba had asked made it not easier.
as long as I was still in it, it made sense and I went with him to the Maharishi I knew why I went with him to the Maharishi and when there was ‘criminal’ in the air above the Maharishi and we had no knowledge about insights, it was gone and it was gone even not long ago still. Now it makes sense, because the national leader came back and I didn't believe him, I knew he was challenged by the situation and he justed wanted to know how far he could go.

I don’t think that the national leader made mistakes without being aware of it, I think he was bored and he wanted to see how far he could go, because of the challenge in that situation, it seemed it didn't matter to me anymore, that challenged him.
He was bored, he had too much time and he did what he wanted with the people and as I had nothing to lose anymore, I had to find out how to leave and where to go and going to the Maharishi with him as he is enlightened I hoped it would help.

So I knew who the friend was, that is why I went with him to the Maharishi and why I didn’t know it anymore in Baba’s presence?  

As much as I know he went on like that afterwards and tried to steal some money from the pension funds and after that he was no more the national leader, someone told me that he could stay the Siddhi teacher, but someone else is today the national leader.

My life with the national leader and going to see the Maharishi was much better than my life was afterwards coming back from Baba sitting in my small room of a friend of mine where I had not even enough room to put my stuff somewhere and I had it in the suitcase just working to get the money to go back to Baba again, one was like in the light and the other like in the shadow of it. But even if the room would have been bigger, it would not have changed the feeling of it. 

I didn’t understand what had happened and why I couldn’t remember it anymore, so I had to go back to Swami, there was somehow the answer and it was an awful state of mind all those years and I guess that is why it was like ‘uprooted’. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore in that small room just working to go back to India.

I didn’t know anymore who I was.

I had no feeling about it anymore, I went to my parents and they were in Spain, but I couldn’t relate it to my past, it was like all gone.

And that feels the same we find in the book of Suzan Segal, she wrote a bestseller, ‘Collision with the Infinite’. I actually wrote about my experience in a German blog and there was someone who commented it and she told me that I sound like Suzan Segal and reading that book, afterwards I knew how to start my book, I didn’t know how to start it first.

That lady was also going to the Hare Krishnas and I didn’t know where to begin with to find the reason what had happened and why I felt the way I felt, actually it seems totally lost.
It was just all gone and I couldn’t find it anymore and that is the seems the same with Suzan Segal, only she saw her ‘I’ disappear and she was looking for it and couldn’t find it anymore and she never found it. It was also that same search for it somewhere not knowing where to begin with.
And there was other stuff behind, like the husband which was gone as well and the feeling of marriage, when becoming a TM-teacher and not knowing the husband etc.

In Swami’s presence I wanted to do the right thing and I asked about the friend and he asked who is your friend and I couldn’t remember anymore.

Now I remember it again. After I went to Baba the relationship with the national leader was gone and I somehow tried to remember, but it was impossible and now remembering it again I wonder why it was impossible.

I asked for the ‘friend’ because there was a feeling of friendship still and it was projected on him when it was due to the Maharishi in the background.

It was a total different issue, it was about the master not being present and that we all went into TM because of the master actually in the background.

Only in the insight that Baba asked, ‘what happened when she came back’, that makes it come up and it makes me think it over and remember it.

I have written a book and tried to make sense and it was impossible, I just left it open.
Someone said that it is thrilling, maybe it is just because of that out of the ordinary, because I don’t give any answers, I just quote Baba instead of finding answers. I leave it all open.

I have spent years and years in that search for answers and that is what my ex could take advantage of. I had not the slightest idea where to look for and I just hoped he would help somehow to get a right answer and it was the opposite and actually it turned out being an obstacle.

I still remember that I could not think clearly and that if felt like I couldn’t think at all, every time when I tried to remember, it didn’t make sense anymore. As long as I was with TM it seemed all present still, but in the moment I had left it was gone.

Make every effort to ensure that the bad or evil is minimized, and good is maximized.

Probably it was Swami’s influence that I wanted to see the good.
But afterwards coming back from the US I met someone who felt like the national leader and he was in Waldorf school a teacher and he also did whatever he wanted with the parents and I took my daughter again out of it after a half a year.
All kids in my family my brother’s son and the kids of my sister went to Waldorf school and in the US we thought that public school was not good enough, so I tried and first it looked good, but the result was not good and she went only for a half a year, she didn’t like it all, she was ahead of all others due to her Montessori school and Waldorf school was rather the opposite, they were much too slow and not at all like Montessori. I couldn’t take that teacher. 

 There are lots of speeches of Rudolf Steiner and contradictions that exposes the parent’s to them and that guy took full advantage of it and I couldn’t take that in the moment it felt like the TM national leader I had to get out of it again. I said no, not again, I am too old to go into that again.
On that level it was even confirmed that he did what he wanted with people.   

You may not succeed in the first attempt. Carefully think over the consequences of whatever you do or talk. In whatever way you want others to honor you, love you, or behave with you, in the same way you should first behave with others, and love and honor them. Then they will reciprocate. Instead, without you honoring or loving others, if you complain that they are not treating you properly, it is surely a wrong conclusion. Those who advise others about true and good conduct must follow the advice themselves. Then there is no need for advice, others would simply learn the lesson by example.

Baba talks here about the ideal and also with the students and they are very young and he also talks like that telling them to honor the parents. I don’t think he talks to adults, actually my experience is the pure opposite, it depends always on what level we see it.

We have experience with manipulation and people manipulating and taking advantage of every small tiny little space and if I just think good and think it will come back like that good, I offer it been taken advantage of and there is always someone taking advantage of it and it will not come back good, but if someone takes advantage of it like my ex, it comes back not good but bad.

We tried to see good, it felt even like an excuse to go on and if he took advantage of it, I said that there will be a way. It was a way of talking me out of it, like and excuse, like giving me some space to breath even if it was not possible, it still was like some room in it and I told him that there will be a way, because one thing I knew from the past that sometime there will be an insight and it will change it from the inside, that is the only thing which is true and always got repeated. B

ut when it was finally there it was such a shock that it was negative and so difficult to understand again it was in no way funny, it was just difficult.

Then they will reciprocate. Instead, without you honoring or loving others, if you complain that they are not treating you properly, it is surely a wrong conclusion. Those who advise others about true and good conduct must follow the advice themselves. Then there is no need for advice, others would simply learn the lesson by example.

But he is telling us here to see good and to excuse it, but it has to be true, if it is not true, it doesn’t work. I went to him the first time and I knew there would be only pieces left and is that the same as being uprooted? I had no idea how it would feel to face the reality that there are only pieces left.

It was much more difficult than I thought it was, I knew it was done and I had nothing to lose anymore and I knew where to go and in that room created it felt good, but I had no idea how it would be afterwards when I had to face that situation. I knew I had to go to him and that was the next step and between those two steps it felt great, because it was clear that one thing ended and another was beginning, I didn’t know what I had ahead of me getting aware of the reason why it was all in pieces.

Maybe with Suzan Segal it was also about just pieces left and she didn’t know how to get it together again and part of that piece was that her ‘I’ got lost and she couldn’t find it anymore or better, she knew at the end that it is part of the enlightenment when there is no more ‘I’, but it is not Swami’s teaching. He is telling us ‘I am I’, so the I doesn’t get lost, the I is found, the I is the Atmic principle and the divine. 

We have to put the I apart, Puttaparthi, that is something we cannot forget, put a part the I (Puttaparthi).

If we lose it, it is lost, if we get aware of the divine ‘I’ it is not lost, it is found. 

But today we are able to see it again positve and they don't know better with TM and we are also able to see it the way it really was. 

No more lost in pieces as it seems.