Freedom, not the Mind, not the Body

The poet Kalidasa once said, "I would get liberation, as soon as I go", implying, liberation is achieved as soon as the ego disappears. For then one would shine in his native splendour, as the indestructible Atma. 

The 'I' when crossed out becomes the symbol of the cross. So what is crucified is the ego.

Once this happens, the Divine nature spontaneously manifests itself unhampered.

The ego is most easily destroyed by devotion, by dwelling on the magnificence of the Lord. You can call Him by any name, for all names are His. Select the Name and Form that best appeals to you. That is why Sahasranamas (thousand names of the Lord) are composed for the various forms of God; you have the freedom and the right to select any one of the thousand.

Baba (thought for the day)

 

Liberation must be inner freedom. We went for new passport, she will go for a visit and by that remembered how I felt at that place and city years ago. The memory coming up was not that good, even if it was only a few months. It somehow felt like life lost or life gone, I don't know. Later it had been again not okay, like life standing still. I never liked to be at that place, somehow it was just not okay and here it feels different and much better.
But it was only memory and fears coming up. Strange how certain moments can bring up memories in the mind. At that time I didn't know if it was because we left the parent's house or it was a lost relationship or because the parents let us down?

The memory was present for a short moment, but felt real at that time, I guess and I am usually not anymore aware of it. We never visited that place, and we don't know it and we said we might should change that in future and go sightseeing.
Hidden feelings, it is possible to fall into a mind hole, losing a relationship, a family connection, someone dear and near and realizing, there is no way we can replace it.
We didn't feel like that coming back here.
As we had been with Baba in Prasanthi Nilayam for four months, we knew we had to begin new again. It was no issue to give it all up. It was gone and for a short moment the memory felt like in an exile here, even if I was not aware of it.

The relationship was such, that I have not missed 'that' and was actually glad that he was not present, therefore, all those feelings were not present.

But our life was gone and after coming back I was busy to put it into practice what I had learnt with Baba. It was in the air as 'I am that', but it meant, because I was not aware of 'I am that' - empty space and everything around us, I had to get aware of 'not that and not that', (neti, neti) and there was no room and space to get aware of the inside hole in the mind, because it was only mind, it was also 'not that'.
We can fall into that hole because it feels like life lost or someone lost and anyhow, it was not the first time I had to begin new again. Therefore, it felt not like a hole. 
It is just like forgotten stuff and old mind impressions, which had been there before. Did this have to do with Baba appearing in the insight as a statue in the desert? 

We began in Portland with mental processing and it felt like a match between East and West, the East was into purity and it seemed too much fear for the Western minds, if we don't dear to go for it anymore. It is binding and no solution.
In the West it was about freedom, getting out of fears and problems in the mind and by that getting aware of our real self, being aware that we are 'not that and not that', not afraid of it.

And here in that thought for the day Baba tells us to get free by getting rid of the 'small I'.
After coming back, I constantly remembered 'not that' in my meditation, it feels like no time and no space to feel the small 'I' and the mind, because everything was anyhow 'not that'.
And it is true, because it is mind only and therefore, we get the insight of the mind and are 'not that', the mind is not real.

If we don't give it power, it has no power to expand and to take over, it can only do that if we see it as real. 
We give the mind power in thinking it exists. We take the power away in knowing that it doesn't exist. It was not present, because we didn't give it power. And it became an experience of freedom.

 
Like with mental prossessing and getting aware of old past mind impressions, we look at it and it disolves, because it is 'not that'. That is the mental processing as it should have been.

It has to be processed as mirror, not as harassment to others and my ex, he couldn't stop blameing. In that sense the hidden stuff was kind of too much, instead of looking at it and processing, what would have been the thing to do, he began to act it out and got lost in it.
By writing it down it gets easier, because the distance is bigger. 

But it is possible to get involved and lost in it, when it is about the negative feelings and fears coming up.

Is that attachment?

I know in my mother was attachment and she projected the shadow of it in others and was fighting it there, that means she believed it was for everyone the same, and of course, also for us and therefore, it felt like I couldn't find myself anymore. My aim was to go beyond it and not to get stuck in it.

The 'I' when crossed out becomes the symbol of the cross. So what is crucified is the ego.
 

Attachment is an avalanche, it covered and chocked life, not aware of the real motivation, it is kind of a mind conditioning. 
And we are not the mind, therefore, if we get aware that we are 'not that and not that' we get aware of it and free.
And if we get free of mind and ego, we are free and that is the best experience possible, to be free and to live that freedom and not to be caught in the mind.

Once this happens, the Divine nature spontaneously manifests itself unhampered.

I went dancing and noticed that the people tried to get free, but they were not free. Every time we are disturbed by something or identified by someone, we are in the mind and freedom is the experience to get out of it and going beyond the mind and that is possible by thinking 'not that and not that'. 
It was effortless and a great experience, in the end is just the self and that is its nature to be free, no troubles to anyone, it results in self-experience. 
Because we went beyond mind limitations, it felt like being a six year old child sometimes, the time before going to school and not conditioned by teachers, parents and mind, it was kind of amazing. The self remembers that it had been 'that'.  
But they couldn't understand it, not on their level, because they tried to get free in conflict with it, as Baba said in the inner view, because older age needs more safety. They didn't know how to get free, but lived in relationships in conflict with freedom, afraid of beeing too free or too vulnerable, in a compromise with the mind to not bee too free, but just normal.

For then one would shine in his native splendour, as the indestructible Atma. 

And I came from Baba and meditation had changed into, 'not this and not that' and that went beyond the mind.
There was a difference between trying to get free and knowing how to get there and to be free. And Baba's teaching and inner guidance is leading to that inner freedom.