Being Near and Free, the Wish Fulfilling Tree

The Lord is the Kalpatharu (the divine wish fulfilling tree) who gives whatever is asked for. But you have to go near the tree and wish for the thing you want.

The atheist is the person who keeps far away from the tree. The theist is the one who has come near.

The tree does not make any distinction – it grants boons to all. The Lord will not punish or take revenge if you do not recognize Him or revere Him. Earn the right to approach the Lord without fear and the right to ask for your heritage. You must become so free that praise will not emanate from you when you approach the Lord. Praise is a sign of distance and fear.

Baba (thought for the day)

 

We have to get near that tree, and it seems it is present in that sweet tenderness, which seems to be closer now than it had been before. Experiencing him as level of husband was near, but it was still outside and it was about getting inside in that love, which knows no separation.
But to really experience it and to get that free and without fear, that was another thing, he knew how, I didn't. It seems it had to be on an inside level. 

I always tried to get near to that tree and nearer. When I couldn't go and see him on body level, I tried to get near to him inside and I did everything to get beyond the mind and to get more free of mind limitations and the body to be able to get closer inside.
 

It felt like this during the time before he left the body. It was an intensive inside sharing, like he was constantly present and I could freely talk to him. I was hardly not outside, constantly focused inside avoiding to talk with anybody just staying inside with him.
 

It is probably even what I really wanted, because I remember in Drashan that there was some limitation on the outer level and it was not possible to get closer, but I wanted to get nearer.
It was very close to him and still it was not. There was a separation of distance because of the body, but in the heart, and as I had experienced him first in the heart, there was no separation, he was present in the heart. 
But still we have to understand it right and get to the right conclusion.

Inside it is not a recognizing or revering him, it is just being a part of him, there is no distance, not enough to revere him, there is just togetherness. It felt very close to him in the inner vision, when we went down the well and up again and afterwards he dropped the body and it fell into dust and on the top there was Krishna and his brother. There was that closeness, that near, the same family, brothers.

It was an aim and longing to get that free inside to be able to approach him on that level. It needs to be realized, but there was not distance and no fear. I noticed that I asked him not to leave and what I would do without him.

I was surprised about my own thoughts inside, I was not aware that he was that close to me. It was the last night, before he left.

I was talking to him in my thoughts and inner awareness and I was  surprised, because I talked to him like he would be the nearest and dearest I ever had known in my life.

 

Baba had been for me the most beautiful divinity in the world, and always we felt surprised how close he was.

He was charming and sweet, there was that much joy in just seeing him. After Darshan I was usually trying to find him inside again as he had been outside and tried to picture him, with all that charm and sweetness.

But in the mean time even in writing I can see him walk around on the Darshan ground and his presence is felt in the midst his devotees. And singing Bhajans is always rewarding and there is that joy and inner view of his presence during singing, seeing him in bliss, it means we feel blissful too.

 

To be able to approach the Lord on that level, without fear and to ask for our heritage. I am not very aware of that, I guess, because I just wanted to get closer and nearer and not ask for something, but to be close and to stay close always.  

Praise is on the outward level, but to be real close to him inside and to be free, that seemed to be the real thing.
It needed some distance first, I guess, to get to that tenderness of his inside presence which is always there and then it has to be realized.

But that seems exactly what I wanted, just being that near.

Maybe there was no other way to get there.
It looks like we had to get away from the outer form to be able to get that close inside.
Baba said inside that I was abroad and that he could not have done that if he would have seen me. It is therefore, the body and mind level, they keep the distance in the mind and as long as that is there, it seems impossible to be that free and get close to him inside, as I had it in mind already when I went to him, because he was in the heart.

I seems it had to go beyond the distance of body and mind and probably it all had to happen like that, I just have to realize it.
It was all part of the big plan and he is the doer, he knows.

That was heavily disturbed by my ex not peaceful attitude, constantly creating problems. After four months with Baba and in his presence, he was just an aggravation and a nuisance to us.
And he would have made it impossible to get closer to him. 
It feels like that is the real reason, why he said that he doesn't know what he is doing to the daughter.
But she also has not become a Baba devotee here, there was nobody who was at my side and the society is not open for that.