I adore the fire, Agnimile purohitam

Agnimile purohitam yajnasya devam rtvijam hotaram ratna dhatamam.

• I adore the Fire, the sacrificial priest, luminous vibrations of Truth, the fierce warrior, the bestower of delight.
• We invoke the fire of enthusiasm, the gateway to higher knowledge, the slayer of the demon of lethargy and the bestower of delight.

Rig Veda

That was the basic Vedic teaching of the Maharishi and I loved it because it invoked the light, the fire. It is the first verse of the Rig Veda. And it was said, who knows it is a leader, therefore, he made out of TM people all leaders.

It was said that in Agni all basic teaching was contained.

A stands for the absolute

G for the stop for the relative manifestation and the

Ni was between the two and after the stop binding back to the self, to the A, the principle of the knower of the self.

It means, I adore the fire, the light.
I was completely taken in by that knowledge of the Rig Veda understanding it as the light of the self I adore.
But I couldn't slay the demon of lethargy with TM.
I was shocked when I saw it in the air, it was in Portland.
It was that strong, it felt impossible to move. It was like the grip of that demon, a relationship with the wrong person, and he never understood that it was about a spiritual fire, that it was about insights and knowledge. And it seemed nearly impossible to get away from the demon of lethargy.
And today when I look at TM it is not what I thought it was. It has nothing to do with that fire, but it feels like a puppet house with a bell in the midst which they are ringing, the bell of invincibility, but to be invincible they had to first become puppets. I cannot take that serious.

But the mantra and Krishna and my love for the Rig Veda has really nothing to do with that puppet house, because it goes beyond TM. With the love for light and self I went beyond the puppet house and got in conflict with it, because the knowledge in the Agnimile purohitam was not real, it was not present. There were puppets and the string, but no hand holding the string ..., the master who had made the puppets was not there.

In the black hole of the mind was no A, no light, only G and the effort of ni to go back to the A (meditation and TM technique) was not possible, because there was no A to go back to, instead of relating the two, it enforced and strengthened the G only, the relative mind level, because they believed they went back to the A, believed it was all done, in reality nothing was done at all, they believed blindly in their state of invincibility, had stopped searching for truth and therefore, it ended in a mind trap.

The absolute principle represented in the enlightened master, the A, the light of Agni was not there. It was a puppet house, all ni was leant by heart and it was a black hole, a mind prison.