Monday, December 5, 2011

Equanimity and Fortitude

If the senses keep to their places there is no reason to fear. It is only when they start to contact the objects around, the twin distractions of joy and grief are produced.
When you hear someone defaming you, you experience anger and grief; but there is no such agitation if the words do not fall on your ears. The attraction of the senses to the objects is the cause of grief and its twin, joy. So long as the world is there, sense-object contact cannot be avoided; similarly till the time one has the burden of previous births, one cannot escape the joy-grief complex. But of what use is it to wait till the waves are silenced, before you wade into the sea for a shower?
The wise one learns the trick of avoiding the blows of the onrushing waters and the drag of the receding waves. Wear the armour of fortitude (thithiksha), and weather the blows of good and bad fortune. Fortitude means equanimity in the face of opposites, that is, putting up boldly with duality.
Baba

It is impossible to not be in contact with sense objects. To not get identified with the sense objects is possible.
Thinking about not being in touch with the senses seems to me time waste, we can never get there. When reading that, a moment it felt like past times, the impression was there that I did something wrong.
The world is experienced by body and senses and there is karma.
It is great if 'fortitude' helps to go beyond good and bad, the equanimity in the face of opposites; fortitude.
Finally, that seems the right expression, fortitude. For years it felt impossible to just be patient, but only patience was called love. So we thought we had to be it.

I tried, it didn't work out, because patience has no choice. Nobody talked of fortitude.
I was looking for that 'state' while waiting, and going on knowing it will be there..., fortitude. 
I meditated a lot. Every day I asked the same question, what is it?
'Not this and not that'. The main thing was going into singing. It is not about leading, it is about merging.
Sometimes it felt like too many people, the result was, I lost the inner motivation. I should have written a blog..., somewhere it was written, what I was looking for...
Only if we get the right expression, we can realize it.
I have learnt a new word. I heard about it, knew about it, but there was not the right translation and we have to understand it.
You know what, it was always there, but today it has a face, it is right. He has confirmed the difference between patience and fortitude. That is what I was looking for. That is the small detail which felt wrong.  
I get impatient to just think of how long it took to learn a new word, to learn the right expression, to get it confirmed, what I had felt and done before I even went to him.
Probably the whole background was missing, the word alone would not have done it..., it has to be confirmed. And it is not possible without listening, thinking about it again and absorbing it, and that is a process and takes time, it can take any time in the world ..., because obstacles can come up and instead of getting closer we go farer away. Because life is the best teacher..., life!

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