Thursday, December 29, 2011

Bad monkey mind; break the silence

God is that friend and it is up to you to break the silence and bring Him into your life at every moment of the day.
God is love, and that is the easiest way to find Him, through love. If you keep your heart open and let love flow, God's love will fill you with divine energy and help you along the path, guiding you to overcome all obstacles.
It is a long journey, but it becomes shorter and easier once you share it with the Lord. He knows the path, and will guide you all the way to the very end, to ultimate liberation.
Baba

That is why Baba said inside in my dream, that it was a stupid thing to do.
I was talking with that guy, who has a bad monkey mind, about the interview, and I mentioned the questions Baba had asked the other, not me, that was a stupid thing to do. 
It is about the reflection of the mind.

In talking about the interview, I offered him the possiblity to think that Baba did that just to fulfill his desires. That is the reflection, but Baba asked not me, but the lady who I translated for, but my ex looked at it like he would have asked me. And that was his dream world. Out of that light it is possible to understand it. Sai Baba had asked the other to whom I belonged just because he, my ex, had asked him for a wife, that made him so very special and lovely, he felt like a lovely person in the light of Sai Baba. That is how he took advantage of it. He didn't even realize that he had not asked me, but the other... 
That lovely guy's mind thought Sai Baba would understand it, when he cancelled the credit card, because he felt he was such a special guy and he could talk directly over the mind with him.
He said afterwards that he had explained everything to Baba and I wondered what he was talking about, he had just a disturbed mind.
He is the only guy I met who thought he could explain to Baba verbally everything, but probably the others I just didn't know well enough, I met more of them, they are that loud it is difficult to ignore it.
In his mind he said that Baba understood it, because it makes him the very special guy, that Baba did that and that image he lived with me. He was that special and therefore able to explain to him everything. And he felt that special because he had made it just for him, that is how he took advantage of it. The situation reflects back on him making him a very special person, a VIP, because Baba did that for me and I had to acknowledge it. He wanted to be a very special person. But I had to get a real answer and it had nothing to do with admiring my ex, there was not much to be admired anyhow.
When Baba left the body, already on the airport I met a so called medical doctor, with lots of suitcases who wanted to share a taxi to Prasanthi and who in his mind said he was called from abroad to heal Baba, that made him a VIP, a special healer.
And in the hotel I met another guy who said, he was a chiropractor from US and that he was called to Baba to treat him and that he would help to heal, he had an appointment and whatever more came out of that sick mind of his. And I wondered if there were only mad people? 
For them it felt good in their mind the reflection that they were able to heal, being big healers, but in reality that are mad fools.
I avoided both guys, the one in the airport I said, I didn't care about driving with him, I wanted to be alone.
And to the other in the hotel I just said yes, until he finished talking and spoke never to him again. But they said, if I needed help they would be there for me..., being such big healers.
That is the mirror and my ex felt also special because he was able to live in his boss's room and he was a real VIP, it made him also special and a lovely person. And what a bad thing that was on my part that I had to go and make peace with a Sai Baba, anyhow, who had to make peace with him but me?
That was all in his mind only. It was his dream that I had to go and make peace with Baba. It was his dream, and he lived a dream world. Baba didn't send a letter and asked me to come and make peace with him, it was in my ex's dream that I had to go and make peace with Baba. But he mentioned it and talked about it like Baba would have called up and told him. He didn't distinguish between dream and reality. 
In my ex's mind, he would never have to make peace, being such a lovely guy, who would have to making peace with a Sai Baba but me. My ex could talk to him on the mind level and tell him everything he had on the mind and everything about us. Who would have to do that..., but me, go and make peace with a Sai Baba? And that was all mind level only. How could anyone be in a position of having to make peace with a Sai Baba, as he was able to verbally explain everything to him on the mind level and get whatever he wanted being such a lovely guy...
That was kind of a shock to realize what state of mind he had.
And with that state of mind I had to live for the past twenty years.
We have to see that state of mind to understand it, as he felt himself as lovely guy. It was all about being a lovely guy. 
That was the relationship level, and we had met in the ashram.
Do you really think that - ego/mind - has ever been somehow close to being a marriage?
I wondered every day what I did there? Why I was there? What had happened?
His concern was how to prove that he was lovely and that was possible when the others took care of him, and confirmed by that how lovely he was, by taking care of him, by giving him the room, by marrying him, by getting a child, he was lovelier still and of course, by working for him, he waited of the big money to come by heritage or something like that.
He never saw it as duty, he was not able to think of Baba's teaching, of understanding it, he didn't question how far he was able to live it, he was just disturbed in the mind and he never thought about family, wife and kid, but only about how he looked in that light. 
That came up in strange moments like in travelling, because he was upset that he had to carry luggage and I had the child and he thought, I was hiding behind the child. Once I asked him to hold my bag, I don't remember the reason and he didn't do it out of fear how it could look. 
He was thinking only of himself, only ego and how to become more lovely, not loving, lovely. He was constantly thinking of everybody else taking care of him, as he was such a lovely guy. His only concern was he himself, and never ever anybody else but him only... 
He probably didn't even hear what I had said and what I thought. He didn't reflect on what I thought, because the question was what Baba had asked, that was the main thing, Baba had asked it. The reason why Baba had asked that was in question and that made him think, he felt sprecial when Baba had asked it to fulfill his desires. Why didn't I see it? 
But I don't even see it today. For him it felt good being in the light of the very special lovely guy.
And as I was looking for the reason Baba had asked those questions still later on and somehow still today, because these are questions we cannot just answer like that. He got upset as he couldn't accept that he was not the lovely guy if I still questioned it, so it had to be me being wrong, hadn't it?
Someone had to be disturbed, because I didn't get it how special he was and I couldn't see it, that had to put me in question. That was the disturbed basis for our relationship. 
The two guys I met on the way to Baba the time when he left the body were about on the same level, both concerned how good it felt to be able to heal someone like Baba..., nonsense and mad monkey minds.
I could not even figure out how mad someone has to be doing that and thinking that way, and we still wonder about some mad minds and the smeary stuff they write? It is all about reflection, they reflect in that light as being omniscient, as being able to judge over divinity, as being listend to by the world. It is the reflection in the mind they are looking for, what it makes out of them knowing such things, which nobody else knows normally.
That stupid guy, my ex, he said that he thought it was also Baba when he moved to his sister's house, of course, it was Baba who arranged it. After we left, it was the easiest to do and she had offered it to him, he even said he went the path of least effort. He went there and lives there since, just because it was easy, he is at her basement and the family can look about how they get along, that is non of his consern and never was, it was always in his mind the task of my family to take care.
I had married a sick bad monkey mind I had met in Sai Baba's ashram. Baba had said to him he had a bad monkey mind, and I had no idea what that was. It was indeed stupid to do that.
It was not better with the TM-leader, he also did everything to just look fine in the end and it seemed to be a quite disturbed mind, and the reflection of the master got disturbed. With TM he was the only one who had contact to the master and it made him very special, also kind of a VIP and it felt only good until we realized it was appearance only. To work with him was not only futile, it turned into the opposite.
I have met a lots of disturbed minds in those spiritual movements, more than normal ones, as it seems.
And why did Sai Baba ask the other devotee those questions about me?

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