Some might argue that the inheritance (Karma) of the previous births has to be suffered in this birth and that no amount of grace can save you from that. Evidently, someone has led you to believe so.
The Grace of the Almighty knows no bounds or limits! I assure you, you need not suffer from Karma like that. When severe pain torments you, the doctor gives you a pain killer injection and you do not feel the pain, though it is there in the body. God's Grace is like the pain-killer. Nothing can stay in the way of the Grace of the Lord. If you win His Grace, you will not feel the pain, though you go through Karma. Just as medicines with expired dates are ineffective, so too, the effect of Karma is then rendered ineffective, or null and void!
Baba (thought for the day)
We will go through the Karma, but not feel the pain?
We get sick, but we do not suffer as others do, but we nevertheless get sick.
If we have the grace of the Almighty, we do not feel it, but we still have the Karma.
Thinking about it seeing out of my experience. First we should listen and discriminate and that is what we do and then we should thinking it over and see it in our own life and Baba said, 'follow the master, fight to the end, finish the game'.
In the beginning I wondered how to follow the master, listening to him and using discrimination, it is about the Almighty only, because only he has no bounds and no limits, only he can make us not suffer from Karma.
How do we reach the Almighty?
Following the inner master, he said in the inner view, that my brother does the worst he can do.
I worried about it, thought that something was going to happen to him, but it was all different. And Baba said that he is the insight and the next step. He also said to take care of my brother.
I had already two inputs, take care of the brother and that he does the worst he can do.
In following the inner master and trying to just understand it, we got in trouble with them, because of the questions asked. We had to know what needed to be done and how to understand it right and not wrong.
There were no answers, but there was insight.
Last year I went to John of God and sent greetings to my daughter and as it was still open that I should take care of the brother, I mailed it also to my brothers and the sister. What came back was the worst he could do, he was that abusive, he thought I went again to a holy man just because of weakness and in the inner view it reflected as naked beggar women, pelted with black dirt over and over, he made fun of it that, put things in question, ridiculed the master and the questions and that I tried to understand it, in his view it was stupid and I anyhow had no idea what I was doing and in the past also not and there was a very dark reflection in the dream and incest, he went beyond limitations, beyond respect and beyond human values.
On the other side the brother said he felt like a worm since thirty years, we should not even think of even getting closer to him, because he doesn't want to take care of us, he turned it around.
My mother asked before her death that I should hold the family together and that is the result of it.
It doesn't look like we can keep it together, it is even dangerous in trying to do so, it was never together.
After that 'incest' business, the first one I wrote that he was right, it was just a joke and therefore, it was all upside down, because it was just a joke and I was the joke in it and the answer was per SMS and it was about killing and begging for my life, that was probably the beggar woman in the inner view. And the sister is not present, avoiding it, not even talking about it, probably it feels better.
It means in just following the inner master we get in danger, the Karma or the pattern that reflects the parent's house, naive and dangerous. In that sense it could be naive to follow the inner master, because we get in danger.
If he tells in the inner view to take care of my brother, who would ever think that it will be like that?
It is Lord Shiva drinking the poison after the devas and assuras churned the ocean of milk, only after the poison was gone there was nectar and bliss, maybe we can see it that way. What is the worst we can do?
Since I left the parent's house I wanted to get away them, because it always ended in abuse, we call it Tamas, an upside down world and my daughter even said it, she said it feels like an upside down world, that is Tamas.
In the mean time we know it, we know Tamas and see it in the inner view, the black color reflected in the dream, one went down the escalator, with the other incest in the air. It cannot be that level. It must be a spiritual level, because it was also about a light blue light, brother means devotion. We don't know yet the next step...
What is the next step? The conclusion that it cannot be the right level.
If he tells in the inner view to take care of my brother, it is not the brother on body family level, but the spiritual brother, we use it to discriminate.
And it is not painful anymore as it had been. We know why, we see it in the inner light, it is all black and it should be light blue.
That is how we get to know Tamas, in that sense it is a gift, because after we know the difference between Tamas and Sathva.
We had hardly any contact with the brother in the US and if Baba would not have said to take care of the brother, I would never question it. The result is insight, to be able to see the difference between Tamas, darkness and the level of Sathva, light and to get the real meaning of brother - it means devotion.
But thinking about brothers we always think first of the family we grew up with and we have to be able to discriminate. That is how we get to know it. It is all about understanding it right and looking for it at the right place.
God's Grace is like the pain-killer. Nothing can stay in the way of the Grace of the Lord. If you win His Grace, you will not feel the pain, though you go through Karma. Just as medicines with expired dates are ineffective, so too, the effect of Karma is then rendered ineffective, or null and void!
It is not painful, but anyhow, it feels like nothing has changed.
I am also glad if I don't have to take care of that level of brotherhood. I am glad to know, because I would not be able to do it, as much as I was glad when Baba called us to him and he said in the inner view that we shouldn't go back to my ex, because he just took advantage of it.
But we didn't know. Baba was in the dream of his daughter, it said if she would go back to him, as her father is stupid and destroying himself, he would destroy her as well. We couldn't go back.
But in his dream it looked different.
Baba was in his dream and said that I had to come to him and make peace with him and he was abusive and said, who is that stupid and has to go and make peace with a Sai Baba. I was astonished to get aware of his real state of mind. He wanted my parents to take care of all of us.
And he wanted me work with a neighbor and he wanted to sit at home and write a newsletter, which he didn't make any money with. That was the level. We met with Baba, we were okay to take care of him, work for him, earn the money for him, cook for him, everything duty, he took in every sense advantage of it.
And even my family should take care of him as well, even being no devotees. He took advantage of it that we were devotees that is why he saw it as blame for me to go and see Baba. It was about the strangest way of thinking for a devotee I ever had met, all other thought when Baba called it was great and the highest and a miracle and he looked at it as blame, trying to boss around and making feel bad, because I had to take care of him, that was my duty.
He lived in the room of his former boss, who is a devotee and he said to everybody that he had money and will work with him again etc. In the ashram was well known because of his former boss and because he lived in his room.
And behind was an all different person. He had one more dream, Baba told me again in his dream that I should go back to my lovely husband and I felt scared, because he really believed he was that, when in reality there had been nothing lovely about him.
That was how he understood 'duty' and being a devotee meant for him, it was my duty taking care of him.
Only afterwards, when he was alone, he went as fast as he could to his sister. He said he went the path of least effort, he had no duty, he didn't care about his daughter, he never even asked, if we were okay and not once.
He went to college and used three years of his time to know that after all he didn't want to become a school teacher and finally he did one more year to become a librarian and that is what he is doing now.
With his sister at least he understood that he had to do it himself and that he didn't get a slave devotee for everything taking care of him as Baba duty, he got, when he asked me to whom I belonged and he said you belong to me, it was understood that I had to take care of him and even my family, like Baba gave him that family to take care of him, that was his level of devotion.
He had first to stop taking advantage of it to get normal again. We were the idea what a devotee has to be and that Baba gave him a wife just because he had asked for it, it elevated him to the biggest arrogant ego we can imagine. He hat nod in mind of doing anything, because we were there to do it for him.
To me he felt like a school boy who took me for his mother. If he had to carry the luggage he said that I was hiding behind the baby, because he wanted me to carry the luggage for him, he sounded nuts to me.
He was like a Pasha, enjoying Baba's gift. He didn't do a step in direction of being a real devotee, he just went to see Baba once a year, because he made him gifts. He never asked about his daughter and how we were, if we would like to go and see Baba only once, he was like not existing anymore. He expected me to take care of him, of course I took care of the daughter and all the rest.
He had such an arrogance in him, after I realized it, I got sick to think of it and in the mean time I have hardly any contact with him anymore, because I throw up when he talks about it.
Baba ended it, and I felt that tired living with that type of person, worried about my small daughter who had to grow up afterwards without father, I didn't know anymore what it was.
I had met him with Baba, but I never thought that anyone was able to understand Sai Baba on that level, it was actually awful to get aware of it.
The way my ex saw it, everybody was the there to be of service to him and devotees were just good to fulfill his desires in doing their duty to him, afterwards he went the path of least effort, paid the minimum for his daughter and nothing for his ex wife, but he went regularly to see Sai Baba and to feel holy and to not forget, he wanted to come here to open a money box.
It is a gift of Swami that he got us out of it, but we also went into it with him and it is real difficult to not suffer it. We should be able to be grateful that he got us out of it.
The insight of the family can help to understand why it happened, the pattern is repeated and the father.
We can recognize the pattern. He said there would be no problem, he was meditating and he had money and he would have again a job and lots of money and we could just stay with Baba all the time, after all nothing was true, but not one word.
And he used us only taking advantage of it. So after all Baba got us out of it and not really into it, as I thought first. It was a wrong conclusion, but still I had to go through it first and we suffered it.
That is why we have to listen, think it over and absorb or we have to know what we want, be able to discriminate and to have self-confidence to see it in our own life and put it into action and to go on no matter what obstacles are there.
That is called Tapas, but some call it Sadhana, whatever, it is spiritual practice and we grow by it in our inner awareness to get that divine Grace, to not feel the pain anymore.
But Karma means, even if we are right, in the end it looks anyhow like we suffer it, only we are concerned by it, because it is Karma.
The question is, if it is really beyond suffering or not?
The situation has not changed, it is Karma and nothing at all has changed out of the inner view, in the opposite, like that confirmed as pattern it seems even worse than it had been before in the parent's house. Following the inner master made us get aware of it, but somehow it seems even worse ...
Even if we suffer it, we should not feel the pain, even if we feel like in the crossfire and attacked from all sides, do we really not feel it? What do you think?
Do we really at that point have a chance to not feel it or is that just wish-fulfilling thinking? And how do we know that grace is such that we do not feel it anymore?
When we imagine that God's grace is that great it has no limits we go for it and expect a miracle and afterwards, we go through it and it is all the same and nothing changed, only we lived it one more time and repeated it, what is doubled pain. The second one is to get aware of it. It is just the question, if we suffer it or not?
If there is grace, we do not suffer, if there is no grace, we do suffer ..., that is the conclusion.
And where is my motivation to go for it?
But at that point it is no more a choice. We are gone too far to be able to turn back, we have to stay with it, if we like it or not and hope for grace.
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