Power and Spiritual Growth

The first major spiritual test for every Light worker is the issue of power. The lesson here is either not owning it enough, or when you get it, letting it go to your head.

Personal power is the fundamental first key to psychological health and spiritual growth.

The ideal is to own it all the time in a considerate manner never wavering. It is through owning your personal power that Self-mastery over your energies takes place. You either own your power or give it to other people and/or your subconscious mind, negative ego, inner child, thoughts, emotions, desires and physical body.

       

Tests on the Spiritual Path

 

I began on the spiritual path looking for answers, after I had met the higher self in the dream state, what Baba calls super-consciousness.

There it reflected as light, beauty and love.

I had to get the right knowledge and got in touch with spiritual movements the only place where that knowledge seemed to be available.

The first thing I got in touch with is power. It was always the question who has the power. First I met the Hare Krishnas the monks had the power and that was about the unpleasant experience of being a woman I ever had, bossing around was just the beginning.

It was like, what the master tells we have to do and blindly jump.

That was too much giving power away, I couldn't follow that.

I met an nice guy from Paris, with him I felt better, but the answers about the higher self I didn't get.

We read the Bhagavad Gita and other spiritual books but it was not really understood. They cooked all day and we ate all day, what I didn't liked at all.

I had the feeling to get nowhere and began with TM to go inside.

It felt good in the beginning. We got a mantra and later sutras and we went inside.

After a few years regular meditation I went to a course and that hit, there was a melody out of the heart of all hearts. It was a siddhi prep course and during a week we were nothing but rounding and meditating.

But there was no knowledge related to the self, therefore, it was just ignored.
After I went on teachers training, because all said there was the knowledge, it was nine months watching tapes and scientific research telling us why we had to meditate, the rest we learnt by heart.

After we had to go in the field and initiate. Where was the power? Nobody knew, it was all secret, the source of power was hidden, seemed to be in the tradition of masters or in the master. We didn't even know where the mantras came from, why they were called root mantras and we had no idea about the relationship to the hidden divinity. They were only used as vehicles to get inside in the mind and we didn't know the source and if we don't know the source, we cannot understand it.

In time that began to reflect, if there were insights, it was not anymore possible to understand it.

It was all in the air, cut off and uprooted and why because the source was not known. If the source is not know we cannot understand it. Where was the power? Gone.

I have never experience a worse situation which took the power away.

The power is with the hidden knowers who have the power and who don't tell what we want to know, but tell us all is secret, whatever the pretext - sentences like - keep the teaching pure, and we think it is holy. 

Hidden behind secrecy, there is no power left.

In the end those people don't have the power to make one step alone, they are completely controlled and work with big titles like governors and leaders etc, and think actually they do have power, and that is all illusion.

In reality they had not even the power to be able to recognize that their power is gone, they were fooled. That was the situation with TM.

And the answers about the self were still missing.

Baba said already in the first interview that it was very difficult to understand. And later I thought it would never come.

I began to dance and go into dynamic meditation. Where was the power? During dance it was in the group and it went beyond the mind, that was a self experience. That felt great.

But during the inner child course it was again about taking power away and this time I got tired of it. It felt like, please not again. Tired of wrong answers and wrong paths. The inner child course was with Sannyasins and Osho background. The inner child is also one of those levels when it is possible to give our power away, so are emotions, negative ego and subconscious mind.

The focus of self-inquiry is on getting aware of it and not getting lost in it.   

When Baba left the body in the dream, the inside reflection said that older age needs more safety and that Osho's path therefore, doesn't work. That is information, it is insight and not mind. 

Everything about the higher self is learnt by insights and that means transformation of the mind and that is not the mind. 

Atman reflects, reacts and resounds.
There is no separation, we have to learn to discriminate between the mind and no mind.