Why writing a blog? If you ask me that, I will tell you a long story.
It began years ago with Baba, who said during an interview, 'Follow the inner master, fight to the end, finish the game'.
I don't remember the people who were with me in that interview, he took always country groups together, but I didn't know them. I don't remember them at all, it fees like he spoke only to me. He was very close and looked at me when he said it.
But later not being in Baba's presence anymore, being far away, the inner master got into focus during the time in Portland/OR.
It was like following a track, it was in dreams, but often not understood. Very special are the Baba dreams. Because time has past, life has changed, situations are different, but the dream is still like it had been yesterday, that we don't forget. It is a milestone in consciousness. But it is not just clear, there is a lesson to learn.
And if time and focus is not on it, it might just not get clear.
Baba dreams are always real, we cannot forget it. Even if people are no more, who were at that time sharing life with us and the situation is no more, but we will not forget the Baba dream, it is present like it would have been yesterday.
When coming back here, I began to trace the meaning of those dreams and question it, and I noticed in consciousness there was an answer and in processing further, more answers were to come.
Returning back here, I had a Baba dream, he held up a book, I had written. I began to write it. I got jobs, changed jobs, it all passed by, but the dream is still like it had been yesterday, and I finished the book, but it is in German, and I missed the contact with my American roots.
I went into dynamic dancing and got in touch with inside colours, but only when it was light blue I could go on, after some time I got in touch with someone. Waking up there was that light blue beautiful colour. So I began to write that blog as a means of communication and as time past by it grew. Instead of a book, now it is more the blog.
But it is all Sai Baba behind, because he is the motivator behind, mostly during the dream it comes up and in writing it down it becomes form, it is all inside inspiration.
In the time being with him during Spring the blue colour was also present. It was there when singing, it was there as motivation to go there, and when it got disturbed in colour, I had to send my ex the bill, because he was the reason for the disturbance coming up.
During that time in Prashanti in April when Baba left the body, there was only that inside contact with him. I didn't see him in his body at all. He was in the hospital when I arrived. But in that time being there I found and intense inside contact, he answered in my thoughts when a question came up, it was the most intense inside contact I ever have had. And he even woke me up at the time he left the body and said: 'No more husband, nothing left but an empty Western shoe.' What I had to mail my ex.
And next day he asked inside, 'How it looked now that time I had lived during the TM course in Seelisberg, when air broke into pieces and they all looked like enemies and puppets on a string...?"
So I had to look at that never ending story again, because those experiences never got really clear, as all was cut off. And I began to notice surprised that it was no more cut off. He has changed it from inside.
After he left the body. He was there, he was inside present, even if we were outside mourning, crying, sad and helplessly seeing the funeral going on.
He was there as long as I was in the group singing with all the people, it was realized as 'I am that', a feeling of being completly home by 'that' only, not by knowing people, and without even getting our room in the ashram.
Like that it was possible to plunge into consciousness on a much deeper level than it had ever been possible on the surface level.
But to get aware what it means, to understand what happened, I have to share it, it has to become 'we', not just 'I'. So I have to write about it to share the experience.
Because 'he' was only there in the 'we' on that level of shared singing, all being one in the 'I am that'. Only if I share it and integrate it with my own experience, it becomes meaning and it gets real and understood.
If I would keep it only for myself, it doesn't come up at all, it has no meaning and it leads nowhere, therefore, I write it down to make it 'we', to share it, whoever will read it. And 'we' is 'he', the I alone doesn't get it because of no sharing. The blog is spontanously possible to express thoughts and therefore, it is sharing thoughts and experiences.
"Living is loving, loving is sharing, sharing is giving, giving is sharing, sharing is living and living is loving." (Baba)
It began years ago with Baba, who said during an interview, 'Follow the inner master, fight to the end, finish the game'.
I don't remember the people who were with me in that interview, he took always country groups together, but I didn't know them. I don't remember them at all, it fees like he spoke only to me. He was very close and looked at me when he said it.
But later not being in Baba's presence anymore, being far away, the inner master got into focus during the time in Portland/OR.
It was like following a track, it was in dreams, but often not understood. Very special are the Baba dreams. Because time has past, life has changed, situations are different, but the dream is still like it had been yesterday, that we don't forget. It is a milestone in consciousness. But it is not just clear, there is a lesson to learn.
And if time and focus is not on it, it might just not get clear.
Baba dreams are always real, we cannot forget it. Even if people are no more, who were at that time sharing life with us and the situation is no more, but we will not forget the Baba dream, it is present like it would have been yesterday.
When coming back here, I began to trace the meaning of those dreams and question it, and I noticed in consciousness there was an answer and in processing further, more answers were to come.
Returning back here, I had a Baba dream, he held up a book, I had written. I began to write it. I got jobs, changed jobs, it all passed by, but the dream is still like it had been yesterday, and I finished the book, but it is in German, and I missed the contact with my American roots.
I went into dynamic dancing and got in touch with inside colours, but only when it was light blue I could go on, after some time I got in touch with someone. Waking up there was that light blue beautiful colour. So I began to write that blog as a means of communication and as time past by it grew. Instead of a book, now it is more the blog.
But it is all Sai Baba behind, because he is the motivator behind, mostly during the dream it comes up and in writing it down it becomes form, it is all inside inspiration.
In the time being with him during Spring the blue colour was also present. It was there when singing, it was there as motivation to go there, and when it got disturbed in colour, I had to send my ex the bill, because he was the reason for the disturbance coming up.
During that time in Prashanti in April when Baba left the body, there was only that inside contact with him. I didn't see him in his body at all. He was in the hospital when I arrived. But in that time being there I found and intense inside contact, he answered in my thoughts when a question came up, it was the most intense inside contact I ever have had. And he even woke me up at the time he left the body and said: 'No more husband, nothing left but an empty Western shoe.' What I had to mail my ex.
And next day he asked inside, 'How it looked now that time I had lived during the TM course in Seelisberg, when air broke into pieces and they all looked like enemies and puppets on a string...?"
So I had to look at that never ending story again, because those experiences never got really clear, as all was cut off. And I began to notice surprised that it was no more cut off. He has changed it from inside.
After he left the body. He was there, he was inside present, even if we were outside mourning, crying, sad and helplessly seeing the funeral going on.
He was there as long as I was in the group singing with all the people, it was realized as 'I am that', a feeling of being completly home by 'that' only, not by knowing people, and without even getting our room in the ashram.
Like that it was possible to plunge into consciousness on a much deeper level than it had ever been possible on the surface level.
But to get aware what it means, to understand what happened, I have to share it, it has to become 'we', not just 'I'. So I have to write about it to share the experience.
Because 'he' was only there in the 'we' on that level of shared singing, all being one in the 'I am that'. Only if I share it and integrate it with my own experience, it becomes meaning and it gets real and understood.
If I would keep it only for myself, it doesn't come up at all, it has no meaning and it leads nowhere, therefore, I write it down to make it 'we', to share it, whoever will read it. And 'we' is 'he', the I alone doesn't get it because of no sharing. The blog is spontanously possible to express thoughts and therefore, it is sharing thoughts and experiences.
"Living is loving, loving is sharing, sharing is giving, giving is sharing, sharing is living and living is loving." (Baba)
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