Crossing the Ocean with Eyes Shut

Enter upon that task of Sadhana from now on; that is the lesson you must learn here. Otherwise yatra (pilgrimage) leads only to the accumulation of patra (objects and souvenirs). Devotion is something sweet, soothing, refreshing and restoring. It must confer patience and fortitude. The devotee will not be perturbed if another is blessed with more grace. The devotee is humble and bides one's time, knowing that there is a higher power that knows more and that it is just and impartial. In the light of that knowledge, the devotees will communicate their troubles and problems only to their Lord; they will not humiliate themselves by talking about them to all and sundry, for what can a man, who is as helpless as another, do to relieve them? It is only those who have that implicit faith in God, who will deign to communicate only with the Lord and none else, who deserve Amrita (nectar of immortality).

(Baba, thought for the day)

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How do we listen to it, in ignoring it or in not understanding it?

If he asks us to enter upon the task of Sadhana from now on, meditation, from now on and that this is the lesson we have to learn here and now. Please tell me, why we are not on the spot beginning with that mediation and why not? Don't we know enough English or is it our mind obstructing it. I guess it is the mind and the mind is louder in our conscious being than our heart. 
And he is going on and he is telling us why.

Otherwise yatra (pilgrimage) leads only to the accumulation of patra (objects and souvenirs).

If we don't practice, we are tourists and not pilgrims. We go to a pilgrimage place and bring something home to remember it. If we go to Einsiedeln we bring home a cross, if we go to Baba we bring home some of his pictures, the real value is only present, if we practice and do Sadhana, spiritual practice. 

Devotion is something sweet, soothing, refreshing and restoring. It must confer patience and fortitude.

He tells us with that sentence that if we practice, it will be rewarding. It is sweet, soothing, refreshing and restoring. If it is sweet it improves the feeling level and life quality. If it is soothing it makes us feel better if there are problems and if we are tired it is refreshing and restoring means it can heal our life and restore our hope.

It must confer patience and fortitude.

These are qualities, character we develop in practicing, it is necessary to have more patience and the courage to go for it and to not give up. 
We need it for Tapas, spiritual work. First discrimination, second seeing it in our own life and third, going on and on no matter what obstacles are there and that is only possible with fortitude and patience.

The devotee will not be perturbed if another is blessed with more grace. The devotee is humble and bides one's time, knowing that there is a higher power that knows more and that it is just and impartial. In the light of that knowledge, the devotees will communicate their troubles and problems only to their Lord; they will not humiliate themselves by talking about them to all and sundry, for what can a man, who is as helpless as another, do to relieve them? It is only those who have that implicit faith in God, who will deign to communicate only with the Lord and none else, who deserve Amrita (nectar of immortality).

A devotee is humble and bides one's time, knowing that there is a higher power that knows why and it is impartial, we should not be on the outer perception level of the mid, because on that level we don't know and what may look like grace in the eyes of some and it is in reality something else and maybe not even good Karma. 

It all has to do with Karma and sense-perception is deceiving. 

If the devotee communicates troubles and problems to the Lord, as he knows and we do not, because we are in the mind, thus we do not humiliate ourselves by talking to all and sundry, for what can a man, who is as helpless as another, do about it?

In the West we try to heal the mind in the East we uproot the mind. 

We have all kinds of sicknesses on the mind level, but we are not used it, we don't work in that field. We Baba we were in the interview and had to translate for a mentally sick person and in her I saw the shadow. Now what is the shadow? There is no answer as long as we do not listen to him. One day there will be a thought for the day and he will talk about the shadow and we will know, 'that's it', because it describes on our feeling level exactly our own experience. And that is why we see it in our own life and in writing about it we get aware of the details in that experience, his words and our conclusion and if we listen carefully we get to the 'right conclusion' and see it in the right light, that is with the inner vision, as Baba said we should develop an inner vision and close our outer eyes. 

But we didn't get a lession in mental disorders, but nevertheless in translating for someone who has been suffering from schizophrenia, but nevertheless, we got the experience of it. We had to face the extreme end or the edge of the mind, if we like it or not. But we do not get a college lesson of a list of disorders what would at least help us to see it in a certain way, instead we have to listen to him and see it in our own life and that is how we learn out of the inner view. We go through the inner view and the up and downs and by that we go beyond the mind. 

It is not the same as telling our problems, because it is not about the problem, but about the inner view, but nobody gets to the idea to do it, because they see it as bad or critics or mind only and we don't see that the inner view or insights have its own way to get to a new insight again and it has nothing to do with what we understand on the mind level.  

We have to anyhow see it in our own life what we get first in the inner view as insight.

It is not about the communication of troubles and problems. It is about getting a feeling for the reality of inner view. 

It is not the same if we see it in our own life going on matter what obstacles are there and we talk about inner view and we develop an inner vision and talking about problems and troubles, but how do we get that difference? 

That is why we have to use his words and in the light of his words it does make sense. 

People suffer because they have all kinds of unreasonable desires and they pine to fulfil them and they fail. They attach too much value to the objective world. It is only when attachment increases that you suffer pain and grief. If you look upon Nature and all created objects with the insight derived from the Inner Vision, then attachment will slide away, though effort will remain; you will also see everything much clearer and with a glow suffused with Divinity and splendor. Close your external eyes and open your inner eyes - What a grand picture of essential unity you get? Attachment to Nature has limits, but the attachment you develop to the Lord when your inner eye opens, has no limit. Enjoy that reality, not this false picture.

If we listen to his words, we get the meaning of it. 

He tells us if we look upon nature and all created objects with insight derived from the inner vision, than attachment will slide away. 

How do we get that inner vision? But that is what we talk about it with Tapas, it is the insight and discrimination is the first step knowing the difference of the mind and sense-perception and inner vision. 

How do we know the difference between insight and sense-perception. The mind is direct perception, the insight is indirect inner seeing. 

But we talk about 'insights' only and see it in the light of our own life, whatever is in our mind it has to be see in the light of the inner view, we observe out of the inner eye and with the inner view and by that we get insights. Baba said he is the insight and also the following step. If we do Tapas, we think it over and reflect on it and get to a different conclusion and we have to know the difference between right and wrong conclusion and if we don't know yet we go on seeing it in the inner view until it gets clear, that is why Baba tells us here that it will get much more clear. 

It comes from the inside, out of the heart. 

We have to see insights in the light of our own life. 

After coming back from the USA, Baba was holding up a book in the dream and at that time the only thing I knew is that we have to go in that direction. I began to write and he was guiding from the inside. 

He said, 'use my words' and I began to use his words and after a while I began to use the thought for the day and there was always something from the inside coming up following the inner vision. 

During TM we learnt to meditate to get rid of stress and strain and we should not use someone else as garbage bin. If we know how to get rid of our own problems, we do not use someone else as the garbage bin of our mind. 

If we are thinking it over, there are more insights and it has to do with his presence, but they are not all like bliss and everything divine and great, we go from one side of the mind to the other side. 

We begin to remember and see it in the light of our experience. And it is not about stress relieve, we get to the right 'insight'. 

There is a difference, the direction of right answers seeing it in our own life, is not only getting rid of stress in our consciousness, but it is about understanding the wisdom. We get rid of stress and tensions in the mind, that way we are not taking advantage of the other and we do not use someone as our garbage bin.

Looking back at the experience in my life, what we should do, we get aware that there has been a time we didn't talk about experience, but we meditated regularly with the TM-technique and believing it would take care of it, there was no need as we thought to think it over or to find faults or even to think. We did not bother anyone with our stuff. 

Only it didn't work. There was no real sharing and we thought that TM would take care of it, but it didn't. We began to avoid it and felt that it was not necessary to talk about it and it turned into the opposite. One day they all turned into enemies, the leader was no 'yogi', but a 'bhogi', and actor. We have yogi, bhogi and rogi.

The yogi – has the discipline to follow a path of higher purpose and wisdom according to scriptures. There is no ego getting in the way of making choices. But from someone else's perception would be a choice and this may make a yogi look strict or rigid to someone who is not.

The difference to a Bhogi is also seen on the level of eating, we tell that the yogi eats only once a day, the Bhogi eats twice and the rogi three times. 

If we look at it as sense-enjoyment, we get to a better way of seeing it what makes more sense. For the yogi all is the same, because of oneness in his awareness and for the Bhogi is is pain and pleasure and we have duality, therefore, he eats twice, it is the mind and the sense-level, but the Rogi is sick. Roga has to do with disease. 

So it feels more likely that yogi stands for Sathva, the Bhogi for Rajas and the Rogi is Tamas. Our own experience of it was no fun. It was due to TM we have lost the know-how of discrimination, we just meditated and thought that it would take care of it and it was kind of a blind believe.  

So we met the Rogi and he said that he had an interview, Baba told him that his mind was not so good and what is for us a mental disorder or mental depression. He said that he did TM and we believed that much in TM that we thought we could go on meditating and it would be okay. 

Looking at it like a kind of brainwashing, we can understand it better or thinking that we were the same, who else would be able to think that we can get rid of a mental disease just with meditation. As we had no idea how serious it was and everything seemed under the control of Baba and he said that he meditated as well and it made no sense to me that someone would say that and would not mean it and Baba took a letter etc.  

The feeling is like hurt, abused and being taken advantage of and that is also what Baba said in the insight and that is the truth we have to accept.  
And in the insight also looked like pirates and trying to get that from the inner view, what do we get? 

The distribution and control of information and harnessing the old system of punk capitalism to new market conditions governing society. The movement's creators operate according to piratical tactics and are changing the very nature of our economy. The rise of the ideas and social experiments behind these latter-day pirates sail uncharted waters where traditional rules don't apply. As a result, they offer great ways to service the public's best interests. 
These changes is one of the most important economic and cultural questions of the 21st century.

If we are pirates, where is our culture as that seems that important? I guess it seems more in the direction of new market conditions governing society.  

But back to mental disorders, what is the level of a Rogi? How can we see it in our own life to be able to feel it? First we have to Bhogi, who is in the material world and there is Rajas and Tamas, we would think just a normal person as we know people to be in the West and in the mind. 

Bhogi – one who eats the world – partaking of the material world and has little to no discipline although they think they do. The mind covered with rajas and tamas, enjoying life and turn away from anything but enjoyment. The perception is cloudy and dull. Life is seeking pleasure and pain is the opposite side to that coin, constantly moving from one to the next back to the other. Discernment is lacking. 

Thinking over it and seeing it in our own life, the mind in disease is wearing those disease glasses, not able to change to another view. There is no discrimination possible, we try in vain to get that difference between outer seeing and inner vision and it ended in a mud hole. It was a shock the mud hole in the insight, because it was destroying everybody.

The interview with Baba made him aware that his health was not okay, but he was not able to do anything about it. 
He seemed helpless and he said that he needed help. When Baba said that his health was not okay and he had a mental depression, it feels to us in other worse like Rogi, that word would mean nothing to him and also not to us only in thinking it over we get a feeling for it. As it was a Baba interview and his health is not okay, we should have been warned by that, but as it is not our culture, we had no idea about it. It was no warning, because we thought he would take care and we believed that meditation would help not knowing that he didn't meditate. We shut the eyes, took the mantra to cross the ocean. 
Final conclusion is that whatever, there is no way to change the pattern of it and that mind state will always see things in the same light of the disease. 

Rogi – Roga is disease. A rogi is one who lives a life of disease. Even if they don't realize it, they are burdened by disease in their life. They cannot experience happiness because health; of the body and mind, is the first step to happiness. The senses perception does not work. It is like someone with jaundice, we see everything yellow. We cannot see anything but through the eyes or senses of disease and they do not know anything else. It is beyond their perception.

With other words, there will be always disease. Happiness is not possible because of health, body and mind is the first step to happiness and that was present with every step with him together, that was the outcome of it, always not good, no matter what and no matter on what level. 

I was not aware of it how serious that mind conditioning was. Like someone who has jaundice sees everything yellow and that expresses it quite good that experience of it.

So whatever it is, there is no way out of it and that is the mud hole. 
To get a feeling for it so that it does make sense, the mind will not change. 
The disease is stronger and every effort is in vain and ends in a mud hole.

Even being with Baba he also wrote the same wording, the same way looking at it and he started the same way and ended the same way. I had 4 letters like that nearly identical and I wondered how that happened.  

I don't like to remember the schizophrenic lady I had to translate for in the interview room. Afterwards she didn't stop to talk and I was that tired to listen to it. Once there was a sick person, they told me later that she also suffered of schizophrenia and she was sent away from the Darshan ground. When someone asked about healing, it was answered that Baba said, that the mind state is the result of past life actions and therefore, it is Karma and it cannot be healed.   

It has to be accepted as such, it has to be accepted as truth and we also have to accept right action or in that sense that there is no discriminate between right and wrong and no level of peace, that doesn't really exist.

However much we go into inner vision, for him there is no difference, he sees it on the mind level only. It is not a problem of insight, but of sickness. He doesn't get the difference no matter what. 

I had no idea in what we went into until Baba was in the dream in the insight present as a vampire, there were two faces and the other was with a very long nose and to see it in the inner view, it was clear that something was wrong, because it was Baba and that has to do with truth and we have to accept that truth and it is difficult to accept. 
It made us more alert and careful, occupied with the child and tired I didn't know what it was, only it didn't feel right. But before we left we noticed that he lived in his own world and that it felt like we had been living for the last years like with a wall, no relationship, only the idea of it and it was his idea, only that mattered to him.

The example of a Rogi, every effort in vain, only his mind and no possibility of change, makes us aware that it was only about disease and nothing else, a disease which was not on the body level and therefore, we didn't see it, but on the mind level, it was present in everything he said and did. 
We have to accept truth means we have to get aware of it. No joy about such a Lila and the question why we had been in that?  

Somehow it must have to do with the family and the father. Someone said, if we do not understand it, we marry it. The result and feeling is like tired and dusty, tired and abused, by what, probably it was present in the father. 

If we get aware of the mental sickness of the Rogi it gets on an all different level and  it had to be there to manifest in that way somehow. 
I thought with regular meditation and just sitting in silence and going on meditating it would be okay, but as it is on the level of taking advantage of it and abuse, we are nevertheless tired and it ended with a nervous breakdown. 
Once I wondered why Baba didn't come into his dream before the nervous breakdown telling me that I had to come back to him in his dream, but he came only afterwards. After he said in the insight that I had a nervous breakdown he was in the insight as vampire and with a very long nose, that is the picture of a demon.
The insight also said once that the father was a demon. 
I am thinking it over from time to time, but it has to do with big tiredness and the feeling of being abused.  
So we think we go on in direction of divinity and it will work it out  with him at our side as he always said and we landed in a mud hole and wonder that it can be that bad. 
I always thought that the world was in a bad state after the second world war and that we should not see only the bad and if we go on keeping the Sadhana, it was just about working out our Karma. But it is about accepting truth and we have to also accept right action or better, not right action.

It feels like the mind is contagious, it destroys hope as it is not possible to change and it will never be okay and we have to be able to accept truth.

That Rogi level is no way out, whatsoever, we lived with a wall, same words always, like a robot, nothing goes in and nothing comes out, that is how it feels.

No use and time and energy lost, remembering it is getting aware of the feeling of tiredness and abuse and that was present in my parent's house and in the father, the shadow. In the insight after the Baba interview with the sick person were only the mother and the sister. It comes to my mind that maybe it manifested like that, because the father was never present. I have never seen the father in Baba, only the mother. 
And there is that resentment that we went into that situation with Baba, even if there was a reason behind it. 
How often I wondered if he was normal in the sense of what is normal, my father seemed often that strange to me. The insight said, if a mother falls, all children fall with her. She was in a constant conflict with him and still attached. It felt like clear that attachment some time ago but out of the sight of that tiredness and the abuse level of the father, he was in the insight as Nazi and the family in the concentration camp, out of that sight the attachment of the mother doesn't make sense. 
The abuse level was also in the brother. 

It is only those who have that implicit faith in God, who will deign to communicate only with the Lord and none else, who deserve Amrita (nectar of immortality).

If we try to see it in the inner view, what we are doing in contemplating insights and Baba's words and our own experience, we should go in that direction, even if we get aware of feeling abused, maybe we have to get aware of it. 
Maybe that is the reason it happened ...? As Baba said in the insight I had been let down by the family and I didn't expect it to be that bad, but in following the inner master we just get aware of the abuse level I was not aware of it, and probably that could be the reason, we have to accept truth and if that is part of truth or truth we have to accept it.
It doesn't make sense in the light of the mother, but she was attached and that much I know, because after her death was an avalanche coming down and when she came back from Spain we went out for dinner and she invited the family and there was a precipice in the air and that is pride and tiredness or 'abuse' feeling is not only the father, but the family as Baba said that 'you have been let down by the family'. 
Thus the result is probably that feeling of 'abused', if we like it or not. 
Usually getting to that feeling I would like to get away from it and not back into it ..., but that seems normal, that is why I wanted to get away from it, because there is no joy and it is difficult to feel it and to get aware of it, but it was the same feeling in the air with my ex. 
I remember once we had been with Baba and we were somewhere on the road and I wondered how tired and dusty I felt and how burned-out, it is a feeling of getting aware that 'abuse' in the air. So it was in him what had been in my father and once it was in the insight that I married the father and it seems if we do not understand it, we marry it and it was nearly a shock to get aware that I had married what I tried all my life to get away from it. 
And that is all alive in my ex, the vampire taking energy away and the long nose, fooling people or taking advantage of it. 

If we see everything out of the inner view attachment will slide away. This is seeing it out of the inner view ... 

If you look upon Nature and all created objects with the insight derived from the Inner Vision, then attachment will slide away, though effort will remain; you will also see everything much clearer and with a glow suffused with Divinity and splendor. Close your external eyes and open your inner eyes - What a grand picture of essential unity you get? Attachment to Nature has limits, but the attachment you develop to the Lord when your inner eye opens, has no limit. Enjoy that reality, not this false picture.