Breaking into Pieces

Truth is not merely describing what you have seen, expressing as is what you have heard or sharing honestly what you have experienced. Truth is beyond all this. It is a deep inner feeling and it must come from within. Truth must originate from your heart. Truth is permanent; it does not change with the passage of time. When you rely on Truth (Sathya), Righteousness (Dharma) arises out of it. It is Truth that teaches how one should conduct oneself and perform one’s duties. Righteousness is a reflection of Truth. You will experience peace when Sathya and Dharma co-exist. This is indeed peace, Shanti. It is foolishness to think that Peace exists elsewhere and is separate from you. If you separate truth and righteousness, you will find only pieces; on the other hand if you blend them you will experience Peace always.

Baba (thought for the day)

It refers to today’s thought for the day and what Baba describes as honestly expressing what we have heard or seen and sharing sincerely what we have experienced. Baba tells us that truth is beyond all this.

As mentioned in yesterday’s thought for the day, if it is contaminated by the ‘evil’ qualities, evil qualities like lust, greed, anger, jealousy, hatred and avarice which do not befit a human being) if that level is present, it is not true or it is not honest. Getting aware of not that is how we become human beings.

If he mentions duty, we have to see three levels. Duty without love is deplorable and that is the case when evil qualities are not controlled. That is the level of the body and ‘not that’ and by getting aware that we are not that, we reach the level of being human. Duty with love is good, that makes us human, but not yet divine.

 (Duty without love is deplorable, duty with love is good, love without duty it divine. Baba)

Truth goes beyond that, it is the third level, love without duty is divine.

It is joy, it is meditation and pleasure for the mind, and we could conclude that meditation is always joyful, but it is mostly silent. The result should be good and full of joy.

Here he talks about a deep inner feeling that must come from within and in the heart and it does not change with the passage of time. It is about a feeling that does not change in time.

We are here on a totally different level if truth it not changing, it is not a relative level, where everything is relative, it is a transcendental level, it is about the principle and that does not change ever.

That is Sath, the watcher is Sath. He is a transcendental being and always beyond that which is watched. The watcher is the subject, the watched is the object and watching is the relationship between the two.

If we are on the level of truth, righteousness, Dharma arises out of it and that is about duty and we are again on the three levels. First everything we are not – not that – not the body, not the mind, (duty without love is deplorable); we have to get rid of the evil qualities or control it (self-control). That is how we get on the human level, (duty with love is good) just being human or being honest in our experience, that is the second level and we have the third level the divine. Love without duty is divine and that is also the self-level, the higher self is not changing and permanent, always the same, it is light, it will never be darkness, it is transcendental, it will never be body, it is beyond the mind, and it will never be affected by the vagaries of the mind. It is the level of joy.

Truth is the principle (I am That), transcendental, universal truth. Righteousness it the result of it, the reflection of truth, if truth is present, right action will result. If truth (sathya) and right action and understanding (Dharma) co-exist, it will be peace, Shanti. He even calls it foolish that peace exists separate from us.

If we separate truth and right action, we find only pieces.

(That is an important sentence for me, because it tells me why the insight with TM was like that.)

Thirty years ago, it was in 84, it was in the air that it broke into pieces and terribly difficult to understand. It was the end of TM being easy and light and no problem. If it would be easy and light, it would not take 30 yrs to get the right confirmation by the words of an enlightened master present in our own experience and consciousness to confirm the experience.

That were unusual experiences and we have to see how we got into it to understand it.  

To become a TM-teacher it was the marriage between truth and right action and that means meditation and getting others into meditation, that was right action and the question is why it broke into pieces?

The insight was that air broke in pieces behind a sunshine environment, yogis are our friends, and it is also about truth and righteousness. If we separate them, we find only pieces; therefore, something had to separate it. It had to be put together first to be separated again to see air breaking into pieces. It was put together with the teacher's training course in 81, therefore, it was present as a feeling of marriage, that was between truth and right action in an environment of yoga and yogis are our friends. 

It has been such a strange experience beyond the mind and the senses, just present in seeing and in a yogic environment of peace and sunshine. It was that difficult to understand, it just didn’t make sense for years and years, because it was on that ‘beyond level’ of absolute or yogic truth also called Sath, we cannot understand it with the mind or the intellect.

In reality we have to blend them, so they had been blended before they broke in pieces again. In the inner experience it was marriage, (but no husband, he was already lost) and divorce, we could only get aware of nearly thirty years later in the facebook and the inner master said, carefully - husband, that was Baba's warning. 
Without the guidance of the inner master there would have been no way to get aware of it. 

For me was the question how it had been separated and why and with it the background of TM came up. The master was a yogi, but he was not present as master and the people appeared as puppets on a string, the hand not there which should have been holding them. Puppets are dependent on that hand and therefore, there is a leader, if the master is not there, they project it on the leader and if he is no yogi, but just an actor, only worried about his role and not focused on truth, the principle of truth was not there.
That is why there was that experience of air breaking into pieces, he was my boyfriend. 

The mind is always changing and not on the level of Atman, truth, the basic principle was not there, it was not permanent, therefore, the separation of truth from righteousness and the yogic principle that yogis are friends and the whole environment turned into the opposite and all felt like enemies, not friends.

That is why it was that difficult to understand. Those are unusual experiences. It first had to be put together to get separated again. It was first a marriage with an unknown husband and after a divorce from the first TM-teacher, with him it all began and I went into the TM-experience. 

We have to first see the principle, before we can understand why Sath, truth and Dharma, right action, what results in peace when they are together, and we can get again to the experience that it breaks into pieces, when we are not even aware what had happened when that 'marriage'-feeling was in the air. 
We have to see how it was blended first, before we understand that it was separated again. (And they only meditate and tell there is no problem, so all that happened in the background and hidden and nobody is aware of it.)

Becoming a TM-teacher, meditation teacher, was putting it together (marriage), it is about truth, meditation and right action, get others into meditation (and get others into right action, living ‘truth’).

So Baba said it was very difficult to understand and I had the feeling of understanding nothing anymore. I had no idea how difficult it would be to understand it, it was that heavy I was not able to feel it. So feeling that - impossible to understand it - I was holding on to him, clinging to him, afterwards not only the problems with TM, but all problems we ever had came up, not only TM, but also parent’s house and problems on that level.

What we had avoided with TM in not getting into stress and strain, we just meditated and all problems were solved, they said, all that came up now, because it had turned into the opposite.

It was like a shaker and it got up everything what was not okay and in the ‘insight’ (Baba) shows us why it was not okay, but it still has to be understood and as it is all on that third level of ‘truth’. 
We can only understand it with his words, he is the knower, it happens in listening, thinking it over and we get able to absorb it. Absorbed it becomes part of our self and confirms our inner experience and in time we understand it and it begins to make sense.

Just like now, he talks about it that if we separate truth and righteousness we find only pieces and by telling that he makes it possible for me to describe the TM-experience accordingly to it and it is true, that is it, that is what had happened at that time when Sophie came back thirty years ago.

As the leader was just an actor and only worried about his role as national leader and not about truth and yoga and the principle, as he was the leader and the Maharishi not present, everything went upside down.

He had no discrimination and all the others followed him and by that the mind and not Atman and a course was offered to me by the national course office and that was not ‘right action’, it was the mind, it served the role of the national leader and had nothing to do with truth or yoga. When Sophie came back, she had been his former girl-friend, one was too much and they offered me a course (she had been on one of those long and with open end mother divine courses at that time. It was not in my interest and purpose of ‘yoga’ and right action and Dharma, but because there was one too much. 
It was even the idea of a friend of hers who was at the mother divine course and that is why they were enemies and not friends. And with that stupid story the whole principle of yoga, all that invincibility talk, was gone, just like that. 
In fact, for a TM-teacher when truth and righteousness goes together, it was separated and there were only pieces left.  If we blend them together, what we get is peace and if it gets separated because of lack of discrimination and not understanding the principle of truth and acting accordingly with right action, there were only pieces left.

The master not there, the relationship to the TM-teacher who I had met on my first TM-course, he was inspiring enough to get me into it. He was the replacement Guru and not the boyfriend, because with him it began. He was in the role of the master, who was not present.  He was on the place of a replacement master, replacement partner, and it ended in a experience of a black hole inside and we didn't know where to look for the reason of all that. It was lost and gone and with TM the intellect in bound in meditation, as they believe that TM solves all problems, so the means or tool to get aware of it or to fight it, was gone, the intellect was only meditating and not working as it should. 

As he was not present also, it got lost and was not understandable anymore, if we do not know the source, we cannot understand it. 
I got in touch with him a few years ago over the facebook. He lives in the south of France and by writing him the reality came up that it was about divorce. That was kind of surprising and also not, because everything with TM is in pieces.

Finally we get aware that he had been on the place of the inner husband in a relationship to the inner master, because what broke into pieces 30 years ago was on that level a divorce, but we have to get aware of every level in the present only. So if it is lost in the past it is usually lost for good, like we find it in the bestseller of Susanne Segal, ‘Collision with the Infinite’. People get lost and don’t know the source and why it happened and that means being lost for good and cut off, because if we do not know the source, we cannot understand it.

And without inner guidance, there is no chance to ever realize that they are lost. 
I met three people, three friends and TM-teachers who died like Susanne Segal very early and very suddenly and they all were lost and we didn’t know what it was.  

The insight was 30 years ago and only pieces in the air. 
It broke into pieces what had been put together first and that are such unusual experiences in an environment that claims to be yoga and truth and right action, it needed 30 years to understand why it broke into pieces. 
In Sai Baba’s thought for the day is the answer and the right insight.

It was that complicated, all those people involved and all lost in just meditating and no problem, when in reality we ended up in an immense jungle and without Baba and the inner guidance; we would have had no chance at all to get aware of it. 
Lost means, they think they get enlightened, when they are in reality that lost that they are not even able anymore to know the difference between being enlightened and lost …, lost is lost and not enlightened. But for those who died so suddenly it was fatal. 
Body and mind couldn’t take the agony anymore to be lost and to find no way out of it and it was too much, they got all cancer and died very fast, all TM teachers with the same symptoms we find in the bestseller of Suzanne Segal, 'Collision with the Infinite'.

Suzanne Segal