What manifests externally is called 'Manas' (Mind). That which is internal is 'Nama' (The Name of the Lord). Repeating the Name of the Lord, you can gain control over your mind and attain the state where there is no Mind (Amanaska).
As long as you are under the influence of your mind, you will tread the worldly path and get lost. You can clearly hear the voice of the Lord, only when you attain the 'No Mind' State. To attain that state, you must listen to the inner voice, the voice of the Lord within you. To hear Him, you must practice Devotion and Surrender. The easiest way to understand and experience God is to Love Him. You can easily grow in love for God, by worshipping Him in a specific form. A true devotee does all duties with total surrender only to please God, and dedicates every action to please Him.
Baba (thought for the day)
The world is 'Manas' (Mind), and everything is conceptual and relative, including what we think is God as form it is all the same. And so it is with Baba in the body, body is body; there is no difference, only he has no mind. If there is no mind, but a body, we will not be reborn and not come back. As human beings we are born because there is a mind, if there is no more mind, there will be no birth and no death.
The mind is the source of our birth in the body, if there is no mind, there is no birth.
Repeating the name of the Lord we do with a mantra. Baba said all mantras as okay, also TM mantras, but they have no meaning, the aim is the same, and we go beyond the mind.
He explains that what is internal is the 'name', if we repeat the mantra, we focus on the lord and we should by that meditation attain a state of no mind. It tells us that divinity is beyond the mind. If we use Soham, the mantra with the breath, we with every inhale the breath tells So and with every exhale it tells Ham.
And if we forget it, we are back in the mind and the body. Our normal state we are used to is body-consciousness, if we meditate and progress steadily dedicating every action to him and we surrender all duties to the Lord, we do every action to please him.
If we do not focus on the breath and the higher awareness, we are in the mind and in the mind we get lost.
And we can clearly hear the voice of the Lord only if there is no mind and there are those who have no discrimination and think that it is anyhow the mind if we listen to the Lord.
If we listen carefully to the inner voice, we begin to hear it. We are focused on the watcher in listening and in time it will manifest. It is done by the focus, every object has an image or a reflection and by watching 'that', even if it has no form, there is a decision to take and there is work involved in focusing on it and there is time needed and if that is present, there will be a result and that is real. The result will be the reflection in the watcher, by the watcher and it will be about the watcher or if we see it as the higher self, it will be the reflection of the higher self, by the higher self and in the higher self.
We have to do everything for the Lord only and use discrimination, the difference between focus on the Lord and focus on other things on the body level. As soon as our focus is in the mind, we are back on the mind level. The body and the mind is what we are not, we know it as not-that, neti, neti.
Understand the Nature of the Divine Soul (Atma), which gives sustenance to all the senses. The five senses originate from Ether, which emerges from the Atma. Hence, if you understand the Atma, it is highly likely that your senses will be under your control. Then you will always be happy. Know that happiness is beyond comfort and sorrow. Comfort and sorrow are just the manifestations of the human mind. The state which is beyond this pleasure and grief is truly happiness. You can realize this state when you listen to the voice within you. God is present within you and He truly speaks to you from within. To experience that inner voice, you must silence your mind. You must control the activity of the external senses. When the inner and outer organs are completely controlled, you will clearly hear the Lord, speaking to you, from within. (Baba)
Out of body consciousness result the bad qualities.
If we don't do that, we are under the influence of the mind and the worldly path and we get lost, conclusion, without meditation or constantly being aware of the 'I am that', Soham, we get lost.
We have to be very careful to see that difference between mind and Atman. If there is mind, we cannot hear the voice within us. God is present and speaks to us from within. We have to silence the mind to hear that voice. And how do we silence the mind? With mediation and constant focus on the breath telling us 'Soham'. That is how we get aware of the principle of 'I am that', but the most important thing is to practice. If we don't do it, we will not go beyond the mind.
My focus is on the higher self or the observer since a long time and it began to grow. I was focused on it and after a while it was clear that it is divinity and remembering it I kept it for myself, because it was not possible really to talk about it. I am actually not used to talking about it. We were just talking on the level of meditation. The focus on 'Soham' is the observer and it is getting aware of the highest truth, 'I am that'.
It was in the air above Baba during the interview in Ooty and we have to understand it right. It looked like 'I am that' was the same thought. All were thinking the same thought. There was no difference between Baba and the boys and that was difficult for the mind to grasp. The first conclusion was that all are thinking the same thought. We had interview in that week and Baba was looking in my eyes until the thought came, what is he searching? And the other question was, why did I see it?
I thought if everybody is 'that', I also should be 'that', but that conclusion was difficult, because I saw it outside of me, not in me. So how do we get there that we see it inside in our own self?
It was Darshan, Baba is on the unmanifested, universal level of truth, Sath, 'I am that'.
But why did I see it?
That was my question? The question was not only why it was in the air above everybody, why it looked like that and only as 'I am that', but the question was also why 'me'. Why was I able to see that 'I am that' in the air? And I went to Singapore to get a visa and coming back we had interview and Baba asked, 'who is that girl? What is your relationship? To whom does she belong?'
There were lots of questions and no answers and I began to talk about it. Someone must have heard of such an interview before? But there seemed to be nobody.
It felt like it was about marriage, because Baba said he would take care of it, I should not worried, after he had asked why I was that old and not married. There was that worry about age and also shame and that didn't feel good, that was the insight, and he said I should not worry he would take care of it. So I thought when that guy was there and said that 'I belonged to him' and that I was the wife he was waiting for, I thought maybe he can help to get answers and he said he worked with a devote who was a VIP in the ashram. It was all about marriage, also a neighbor was in my dream telling he would come back and marry me and it all looked just right.
So we went ahead and the daughter was born and we lived in Portland, but it was always a problem with him, something was not okay. And one day Baba was in his dream and told him that I had to go to Baba and make peace with him.
I was constantly focused on listening tapes of Mafu, a spiritual master in Oregon, to feel better, because the marriage, I don't know what that was, after a while I was glad that I could die one day, that was not exactly a happy feeling, but I didn't know what it was. And one day, we were in the Montessori training, I thought that I prefer to die than to go on like that and sometimes later I had Baba in the dream and he said that I had a nervous breakdown. In my meditation I had people who committed suicide and in the dream as well and once I had a dream, I couldn't forget anymore, but it had probably reached the lowest the vilest, because I was no more aware that it was an 'insight', I thought it was nightmare. The 'insight' was a beggar and homeless on the streets of New York and ruin was in the air. That didn't feel good at all.
In a thought for the day Baba explained that beggar means no love and homeless is no husband and ruin in the air, means bad thoughts and bad habits had ruined us.
Only after that image was in the 'insight' the reflection of the relationship with that guy, Baba was in his dream and said that I had to go and make peace with Baba. And we left, my daughter and me and went to Baba for four months. We first visited my parents we hadn't seen for years and after a while in Prasanthi Nilayam Baba said in the dream that it was 'perverted'. I had no idea why and what was meant with perverted. In that time with my daughter in Prasanthi I felt quickly better and as she had a dream as well that her father is stupid and he doesn't know what he is doing and he is destroying himself and if she does go back to him, he will destroy her as well. There was no question of going back after that.
But I didn't realize why 'perverted' and why he would have destroyed her.
After we didn't go back, he began to talk about the level of least effort and he didn't do any effort to keep a relationship with his daughter, the first years we didn't hear anything at all and if I wrote him it was because of her. He never asked how she was, he ignored everything I wrote or if I told him what Baba said, he ignored everything, the path of least effort was only creating troubles. He did the opposite of all what Baba ever had said we should do, he had no character and Baba told us, money lost, nothing lost, health lost something lost, character lost, everything lost. And he lived the opposite.
Once he wanted to come here and open a money box. That is how I began to get aware of it and why – perverted. He lived the opposite of Baba's teaching and he looked at himself as Baba devotee, it was perverted. The question is only why he is that perverted?
He lived in the room of his former boss and there it was all about money only. He couldn't make a difference anymore between just a relationship and money and divinity. It looked like all mixed and upside down. It was all perverted. He put Baba's words in question and said that nothing was wrong with TM, when Baba had said in my first interview that it was not a right path and I had to get answers, because the air broke in pieces. Those answers we get in listening to his words, thinking it over and that way we are able to absorb. A lot of thinking it over is done by writing. It began a long time ago so it is a lot and that 'perverted' is still in question.
Last year one night in the insight was, 'amok, seven will be killed, tonight'. It scared me really, I thought something would happen here. But it happened in Los Angeles. It was a boy in the age of my daughter, he was only 23 year and run amok in Los Angeles airport last year and as he had said in the 'insight' that it would happen, seven killed, tonight and hard to take.
What has that to do with us?
I guess it was about the child. As Baba had told her in Prasanthi, her father was stupid and doesn't know what he is doing and he is destroying himself and if he she goes back to him, he will destroy her too and I didn't realize why and he also said it was all perverted, that background is only coming up now.
That 23 yrs old boy who killed people just shooting around and in the end he killed himself. I didn't follow it in details, I had enough when I got the news that it happened and the question is how to understand it and how to relate it to people around us. And today I think that it showed what happens when a 'parent' has a perverted attitude. That boy was in Los Angeles in the same age of my daughter and to think that in that age she would so something like that because she would feel that unhappy, that is really the result of a perverted father or perverted parents.
If we are 23 years old we have usually other interests than going to shoot innocent people.
My daughter is constantly talking and laughing with friends, going to parties and she wants to look pretty, that is what she does in that age and not shooting around.
To think that anyone would go in an airport and shoot people at that age, that is quite unimaginable.
How does a 23 yrs old boy feel like that? But if the parents are perverted for whatever reason it can lead to that, but it has to be the parents. My daughter is still living at home. She has no reason to go and shoot someone. She also overreacted in a certain time in her life when she was a teenager, it was not that easy, but she is still at home.
Of course, he was a body, but anyhow … boys here are into studies, parties, big cars, girls, vacations, fitness, not into guns … really. Why should a 23 yrs old boy go and shoot people in the airport?
I was totally in shock when I heard that news after Baba said it in the 'insight' knowing that 'insight' is Baba, therefore, it was also divinity expressing that frustration, and only it was not non-violent.
We had both done a Montessori training and that gave me the wrong impression that it was okay.
He said in a letter that he was her Montessori teacher, that is why I was not aware that we lived in a mud hole, it means he ignored everything I said, he turned it upside down and he was even able to turn what Baba had said upside down. He was ignoring everything.
As long as she was still small and it was about teaching Montessori it was still okay, but that would have changed fast when she got older and with his ideas, it would have been a disaster.
Once she was for a visit, she was fifteen and I had her constantly at the phone during the 14 days she was in New York. She liked his sister and her daughter, but with him she had only problems and nothing what she did was okay. The way she looked, the way she dressed, what she ate, poor girl and afterwards she came back upside down.
It would have been the result if we would have been together, it would have destroyed her life before mine. It seems he cannot make a difference between Baba and money and relationship, it is all mixed and somehow messed up and all that as it seems because he lived in his boss's room. He was focused on walking in the footsteps of his boss and actually he was married with him.
We had nothing to do with that, we lived in the shed like everybody and with I four people together in rooms, it was never about having the room of someone. So the question is why it is all perverted?
He cannot separate money and Baba, and Baba doesn't want to have money in his centers, definitely not and that seems just to be the reason of it that money is perverting it? We need it for living, but we don't mix it with Sai Baba and divinity.
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