Examine the Mental Make-Up, using Discrimination

There is no dearth of good books, telling you how to live happily and be free from grief, and many thousand copies of them are being purchased. Yet there is nothing to indicate that the content in the books have been read and assimilated. The habits, conduct, and character of the readers of these books have not undergone any change for good. 

Egoism and greed are still rampant; hatred has not abated and envy eats into the vitals of the society. 

Henceforth, do not treat My words lightly. Decide to implement in your life, at least one advice for your spiritual growth. Every one of you must examine your mental make-up and see whether you have used your discrimination and scientific temper (Viveka and Vijnana) to clothe yourself with detachment (Vairagya), so that you do not suffer from the attachment to the worldly objects.

Baba (thought for the day)

How do we know if we have enough discrimination? 

It is not that easy to know, we might think we have it and find out later on that it was all wrong understood, but it is easy to practice, we have to get aware of it that our own self is unlimited and one way is to get aware is to focus on the heart, in the heart is the indweller of the heart, a tiny form of God. 

And we can get aware that our breath tells with every in- and exhale, Soham and that means it inhales So and exhales Ham and the meaning is as Baba said, 'I am God' or 'I am Shiva' or 'I am that'. 

I was meditating with 'I am that', because I had problems to think, 'I am God'. I just thought it was easier to think 'I am that', but today I would tell anybody to just do it, to go for God, because it opens up the mind and the mind understands God as not only 'that', but going beyond, in calling it God, it is like addressing the letter to a name and the letter will arrive.

If I don't know, he knows. If I cannot do it, he can. If I don't have the strength to go for it, he has. 

If we try to realize the observer, we watch and in doing so, even if we are not aware that the breath tells us, 'I am God', we get aware that everything else is 'not that', because it is just passing by and in watching we get aware that our soul needs actually something else but passing by stuff. It is about the soul level.



Getting in touch with the self, watching, even without mantra, nothing was lasting and I began to think about God to feel better. Scary it was because everything changed, it was a way to be in touch with reality and it was not fun to get aware that everything is just always changing. 

I was watching. It was kind of difficult to discriminate between truth and untruth, between things that change and others that do not change, but I understood very soon that only one thing could be positive in life and that is divinity. 

That is how I began to think about God, to feel better. 

Even if I had no idea how it would go on, I went on thinking about God, because it made me feel better and when I didn't know what I was doing and where I was going, he knew and it felt better.

I was waiting for a self-experience or insight to make sure it was the self, it should be such, that there was no doubt possible. 

That means after some time I didn't know anymore what I was doing, I was not sure about my motivation, but I went on nevertheless and practiced what Baba calls Tapas, spiritual work, going on no matter what obstacle will be there. 

I tried to find it in my own life, but why is it that difficult to understand that it is the same as Baba said, when he said that we need to see it in our own life? I have always focused to see it in my own life. I didn't go to India first as lots of others did in that time and I just was at my work trying to understand what I observed, but the understanding was difficult and after I was looking for a master to help me to get the understanding part right. 

I don't know what was the most scary at that time. Everything was outside and changed constantly and it was never the higher self and it took that long? It needed patience and perseverance. And I went on watching, decided to not change anything until it would be changed from within out of my own higher self or whatever, but it had to be sure that it was my own self, and not something or someone else. 

Only if it was present as the higher self, it would be possible to know for sure that it was the self and not something else. 

I guess it felt kind of uncertain and not okay to my mind, just sitting there, watching life going on and nothing seemed to happen. But it went on, no need to do it, it just went on, in the job, people around in that job field had no idea what I tried to prove to myself and it went on by itself and no matter what obstacles were there, making sure it would be present in my own life, not just in the head or somewhere else and I didn't want to start all over again, I just wanted to know the higher self, see it, feel it, be it and know the difference to the rest, all about discrimination. 

It had to be like that, no matter what obstacles would be there and that is how we went on and on until one night the miracle happened and it was really present in my dream, the white light, the love and beauty of the higher self. 

My parents were hard working people, as I had left the parent's house, they had no idea what was going on in the head of their daughter, they focused on work and everything seemed clear, but not to me.  

They would have surprised, if they would have known how and why I went on in that direction no matter what ..., in fact, nobody would really have been surprised, they just avoided it and therefore, they didn't take time and space to think about it, but it seemed difficult to understand that it was the result of attachment. If they would have known, they would have made fun of it. It felt like there was always a reason to make fun of it. I kept it for myself only, because I knew they would make fun of it and I didn't want to risk to lose my motivation. I had to keep it for myself, it was the only way to go on.  

They were not interested, that was clear, they didn't care, that was also clear. 

They went on working as always, and everything seemed okay for them, but not for me. 

Attachment seems to lead to mind which couldn't get anything anymore but that and for them it was work or a role play. 

For me it was the opposite, it was not clear, only I didn't know why, but it was clear, we couldn't talk about it, no way, and that means it was impossible to get aware of it.

I wanted to know the difference between the higher self and the non-self, and that seemed a way to get to answers. 

The family had not the slightest idea how bad it felt, the self gone, nowhere to be found and we didn't know why, we didn't know who was responsible, there was too much disturbance in the neighborhood. 

Sure was, my first boyfriend, already a long time ex-boyfriend, he didn't let go. He moved closer as time went by and ended up opposite the road what felt okay for everybody, but not for me, because he had a disturbed manner, he didn't talk, he made me feel like a child and ignored me, but nevertheless, he moved in the new house opposite the road and the inner view said, manipulation only and I had to face it. 

I didn't know why he should do something like that and manipulate all life for what? 

Most of the time I was not there anyhow. So he sat in the front of the house, door to door, a constant disturbance in the air, ignored by the family, making fun of me, because I felt disturbed by it. 

It was upsetting. 

Only after I went to Baba I realized that he was responsible, he said so in the inner view. Afterwards, I had to find out how and why responsible and that means I had to follow the master, fight to the end and finish the game. 

There was a time I couldn't sleep anymore in that room and in that house without the lights on, because it felt disturbed and at mostly at night there was that fear and the worst about it was, that I didn't know where it came form until Baba said, that it was because the mother had put the father always in a corner of the house and by I got aware that he was in the center, not in the corner, therefore, her talking and making us feel that she controlled everything was not okay and she was attached to that idea. Everything hidden, it seemed to make no sense and we couldn't talk about it and it was not possible to get aware of it, it was not possible to talk about it. 

My problem, she said, whatever it was. Mother worked more, with hard work she proved that things were under control, like she wanted to be rewarded for it, a strange motivation. Only until it is confirmed by Baba it gets clear, before I didn't understand it, it was compensation and co-dependence and difficult. Whatever, my problem and not theirs and it was Baba who said that the family let me down. 

There was a feeling of emptiness, it was not possible to talk and it resulted nothing but problems. 

That was the problem, but they didn't see any problem. In reality there were lots of problems and it took a lot of time to even understand it, but as they didn't care, how should they get aware of it? It was overshadowed and I guess that is what I met in Baba's presence in the interview room. I had to translate for a person, who was sick and afterwards it was not possible to make her stop talking, she went on and on and she was a load and in the inner view she was my mother and sister, I met the shadow in her. 

At that time I still thought I was in a good relationship to mother and sister and I couldn't get it why it seemed upside down. 

It was not real, it was the shadow, however that shadow was looking, I had no idea what was ahead of us. With the neighbor was in the air, manipulation only'. 

Following the inner master I told him what it had been in the inner view and by telling it came up in the open, it was just a matter of not keeping silence and just agreeing to everything they did. As it was not anymore hidden and impossible to talk about it, the manipulation turned as it seems against him. 

In the end he had understood that it was his responsibility. 

That is how I learnt from the inside with Baba to face it and to get aware of it. 

As it seems it was attachment, but the attachment closed the mind and made it impossible for her to see anything else, but she wanted to see. 

It was present as avalanche in the dream after her death. 

An avalanche covered everything and I was an inch away and just had missed me. But the icy atmosphere of the cold snow has expanded and it covered everything, there was nothing left but snow. And it is probably still the same, an icy feeling, the cold of snow. 

That is always what we have to face, that is probably also what he meant when he said let down by the family. 

In the inner view it said, if a mother falls, all children fall with her. 

It was difficult to understand and we just get it by observation and thinking it over in the light of insights. That attachment is that single minded only and not seeing anything but only that what the mind is attached too and that therefore, there is nothing left but snow - the icy cold feeling of not being present. It is difficult to understand. 

But in our every day experience and in our life it was present as a feeling of emptiness or pain or nobody there, let down and it didn't make sense, she seemed to be nice and caring, but in the reflection it was the opposite and all that due to attachment, she saw only what she had room for. 

She was nice with everybody else, she used her kindness for clients and costumers and for business and from us, she expected to not make more problems, we had to take care of it ourselves. It was blind and impossible to reach her. 

It was not realistic, letting down everybody, expecting us to take care of it, whatever that was, even if they created it, attached to something behind, nobody could see and understand. It just didn't make sense, even less how she reacted and we never understood it. It was something that she liked that much that she couldn't think of anything else, but that. 

However, let down by the family I had to find my own answers, but Baba said in the inner view that I was let down by the family, only about three years ago and since, I have to bring it together to understand it and to see it how it really happened and why it is as it is. 

But the family is still the same, it will stay like that as it seems, the reason behind the attachment of the mother. 

Whatever it was, it was my problem. She was working twice as hard, only we didn't know why. She said she wanted to save him, also that didn't make sense. We were wrong, whatever the reason, even if we didn't do anything, it was not possible to talk. That means there was no way to get aware of it.  

It seemed all upside down. I didn't know Tamas yet, that is all upside down and how difficult it is to understand it and we went on in the hope to understand it one day. 

It changed nothing in the family or it changed also nothing with her attitude. 

There was a time nothing made sense, not the mother, not what had happened, but least of all her attitude. After Baba said in the inner view that the neighbor was responsible, I went ahead, I had to understand it and he had said, follow the master, fight to the end and finish the game. 
Something seemed terribly wrong with that neighborhood and my parent's house. 

If I couldn't find it a normal way. I tried to forget it, to never come back, everything in vain. I left and wanted to never get back, but it didn't work, Baba did the opposite, I had to face it. 

They were working hard, my mother always very nice, winning people and gave me the feeling that she was kissing the feet of the customers, busy running around. I just didn't get the reason why attached. 

They had not the slightest idea, how bad it felt coming back into that situation. It was not as it should be, she also said that we would never be able to do what they had done, incredible, I didn't know what she was talking about. In reality it didn't feel like home and nobody wanted to do that, what was there that great, it was the attachment that she saw it like that. 

Sometimes it felt like they had all lost the mind, it just didn't make sense. And when we said it, we got answers like, we never had become grown ups etc. and it never made sense, I didn't know what she was talking about.

The manipulation going on in the neighborhood went also on unnoticed. 

Nothing left of it in the mean time, it was just facing the shadow. It had never been okay and undisturbed, and mother didn't get aware of it, she didn't change. It was Ohso who said once after dancing, that she was too late for her that she was too old. 

So we had to live with it. Only that mattered, only her stuff and not what we did, our life was not recognized or only in the light of that we didn't see what she had done, it was like a vicious circle and it was due to attachment. 

When the neighbor died when she talked about it, a precipice was in the air. Precipice as Baba said is pride, but how to know it is pride and that therefore, she reacted like that? 

Follow the master, fight to the end, finish the game. 

That is how we get aware of it, it is the reflection in the mud, as he said in yesterday's thought for the day, we are all mud and there is no difference on that level and therefore, the reflection is in the mud, it just reflects, because the focus is on it. 

It was about village consciousness and it had to do with family and it was avoided and it was naive and dangerous, also that was reflected in the inner view. For me it means to get the picture and it is all different then it looked and we try to get it right, to understand it out of that inner light and it is an all different situation.

In the mean time the neighbor died, nothing left but memories, the parents also died, the business is sold. Only the house is left, but also sold since a long time. The people are no more, it is a lesson of attachement and what it does to us. Also in the dream the neighbor and the father were playing together as boys again running over graves, and grass had grown above it. 

That is how it ended and how it is forgotten, only in the mind of my family it is still alive.  

It is a lesson of attachment. It is as he tells us, even if we read good books, there is no change in our minds. We have to practice, we have to follow his words, we have to always be aware that 'I am God' and not the body and not the mind, only like that we can see it in our life and we go on no matter what obstacles are there, we can realize the unity in multiplicity, based on discrimination. 

Henceforth, do not treat My words lightly. Decide to implement in your life, at least one advice for your spiritual growth. 

To be able to get aware of attachment, we have to examine our mental make-up and use discrimination and that is done when getting aware of it that we are 'God', He is sweet and the summary of everything, bigger than the biggest and smaller than the smallest. 

The higher self is made out of love and it is the observer. 

It is our focus what makes it grow, therefore, it is important that we know where we are going, we need to know the aim and that is given in 'God' and we need to know that the focus is right, not in the mind. If we attach our inner focus on divinity and light, it can grow in the right direction, otherwise, we get stuck in the mind. 

Examine your mental make-up and see whether you have used your discrimination and scientific temper to clothe yourself with detachment, so that you do not suffer from the attachment to the worldly objects.