For anyone to remember the Soul (Atma), food is very essential. From Divine Soul (Brahman) Ether emerged. From Ether came Air. From Air was born Fire. And from Fire came Water. From Water, Earth emerged, and from the Earth, various plants and food. Finally from food, human beings evolved. To attain union with the Divine, one has to cross all these stages and take the return journey. The life principle present within our gross body, is called Prana. Within the sheath of Prana (Pranamaya Kosha), is present the sheath of mind (Manomaya Kosha) and within it, the subtler sheath of intellect (Vijnanamaya Kosha). Latent in the Vijnanamaya Kosha is the sheath of bliss (Ananadamaya Kosha). Many people stop journeying after reaching the Mind sheath. To attain bliss you must proceed onward, beyond f ood, mind and the sheath of the intellect.
Baba
Yesterday I was meditating on food, I mean on the food sheath of the body, that Annamaya Kosha.
I tried do discriminate between the sheaths of the body.
The breath is life force and called Pranamaya Kosha, therefore, in repeating the mantra Soham I tried to stay aware in my meditation, what food was, what energy was and what mind was, and got to the sheath making the difference and that is the intellect, Vijnanamaya Kosha. The intellect is in the mind sheath and in the sheath is bliss latent present, if we are able to recognize it.
When I began to watch my life or my thoughts, first it felt like watching my life, it was on that outer level of the Annamaya Kosha and by watching the purpose of it was to get deeper, wherever that was, I had no idea how it would be, I just watched.
I worked at that time in an office and decided to change nothing from the outside anymore until it would be changed out of the higher inner self and from inside.
Everything outside was in the mind only until it would be from the inside and my own self.
I was sure or firmly believed that it would be possible and that it had to be there at a certain time and I was not afraid of it, I enjoyed it.
The biggest obstacle at that time seemed that I had no idea what I was really doing and how difficult it could get, because it began to load, it was just time passing by without anything happening what felt heavy and bitter to face myself and how I usually got out of it when I didn’t like something, what I couldn’t do anymore. It was not just fun to watch, in a sense it got heavy, because time was passing by and nothing seemed to happen anymore, no change.
After I had watched my life, what didn’t tell me anything at all, it was just working and eating and sleeping and not much socializing, because I couldn’t explain to others why I wanted to find in my higher self.
There was no aim in it I could catch, nothing to touch, nothing for the senses, nobody to hold, no job to get, it was just the self and it felt like it had no meaning and I went on watching without being able to explain it.
It was everything on an outer level of life, what was happening with people around and it made me serious, It was too heavy just watching to find it funny. And even if it was funny as well, first I remember how I got also aware of some dreams.
There was a car in my dream and I was around the car and in the middle of night the horn began to sound, it felt like I was floating around the car and woke up quite a bit hard in my body, because the sound of the horn was loud and woke me up. It was all a bit strange first and I was not used to see it like that.
So I began to watch dreams as well, but they didn’t tell me that much yet...
First I watched thoughts, but that stage was quite fast behind me and it expanded to watching emotions and feelings and I somehow we had to go beyond it and it was both pleasure and pain.
The pain was less easy to take. And it went also beyond that and I began to see moods in the air, but I was not even aware that I went beyond those levels, it just happened.
When it got to the moods it became difficult, because it was scary.
My best girlfriend was from France and one day she was talking with a new guy, we were told that he was the son of the big boss, the general manager. He was young and good looking and therefore, I didn’t expect what I really saw. In his presence she looked like an angel white and light and he looked all dark, maybe he had depressions, there were layers of darkness, two exactly and today I would think that it was mind/body level, he had depressions.
He felt that I watched them, I was at work doing my job, while watching them and getting aware of all that. And he turned around and his eyes met mine and in my eyes was horror reflected, that was his death.
I had been watching already a while, but I was not really ready for that. I was just thinking about my higher self, not about moods which would be that scary.
My friend came afterwards to me and wondered, what influence I had on him, because he had turned around without any more word and was gone. And she was just standing there and I had no idea what I had done.
And then one night I met him again, it was present as fear in the dream, a wall of fear in the air and I thought, maybe I would lose my mind, but it was nothing like that, I was just scared, because it felt frightening and it went and the fear came back, this time it was worse and it was about suicide, but I couldn’t see who it was.
Waking up in the morning I was glad that this night was over. During brushing teeth it was an inner awareness that said, ‘I know exactly what to do’, that means he was still alive and after at work we got the bad news that he went under the train. And I felt somehow guilty, probably because I had seen it in the inner view and I didn’t know yet how to separate my own stuff from others, and it was not bliss, but only scary inner view, anyhow I had no influence on it, I just had to be able to take it watching that reality.
I noticed that after all it was not that easy to just be in the observer, we were working for the same firm and that explained it and the horror in my eyes was a reflection that something horrible would soon happen. He had it in mind probably already a while.
A few months later my best friend went to the south of France and didn’t come back, she also died.
That was too much.
Enough, I had to do something, I wanted to get out of there and I still waited that it would come out of my own inner self and nothing happened. There was an open job opportunity in the field I had worked before and I went for it. I just applied because I wanted to change something, whatever that was.
And finally I was happy that someone else got the job, because I wanted to end it.
I got what I wanted in my dream. There it was, a beautiful, white light, it was in the light body and that light was that bright, I saw my own body sleeping, the ‘I’ was in the body, but I knew in that picture that it didn’t belong there. There was a gap between the body and the light body and it a blue ribbon in that was written ‘self’.
That is what I wanted, that is how it was self-controlled and not mind controlled.
After the other lady got the job, I quit. But there was also the feeling to not understand a thing. So I hoped in waiting and going on I would finally be able to understand it and to get some answers.
In that inner view was the body, that is Annamaya Kosha, the vital air I couldn’t really see, but he was alive and sleeping, it was probably between that light and the dark of the body, the mind sheath was in the gap between the light body and the dark sleeping body and the Vijgnanamaya Kosha, the intellect was in that recognition that it was the higher self, what was written in a blue ribbon.
And in that recognition was the light of the higher self as white and beautiful and brilliant and it was only love and that is Anandamaya Kosha and bliss.
It is still easier to recognize the different sheaths by that self-experience than it is to understand it from the mind when just contemplating about it.
But there was no one telling me how to understand it right.
With the body we are all in Annamaya Kosha on the food level and that was my first memory of that time, we worked and we went in a restaurant and had food and that is how the time went by, always the same until it was interrupted in the inner view by things happening in the mind around us, things I didn’t care really to know. It felt also rather confusing, even if it was only inner view, I didn’t see why it was there.
Watching thoughts was during the time we had been in Neuchâtel.
The thoughts were standing in the air, it was the beginning and because I just watched and didn’t intend to move away, it was in the air as ‘respect’ that ended in hard work. But I was also young and my boss also and that got us into complications and I still thought someone would be able to understand it and we would be able to talk about it, because of the ‘respect’ in the air. So when he invited me to go out together, I went and I thought we would talk and have a nice time together, but that ended a different way and it was soon over before I could even begin to talk about what I had in mind.
I was kind of surprised by it.
That complicated things afterwards, but it said to me that my readiness to talk ended in another way of talking. Now everything was in the mind and emotional level and when I finally went still with him to another city, it was not exactly what I would have liked.
It was not that easy anymore to understand it and it was not ended yet, I was attached to that respect level and finally it went on like that, it was hard and what began with good feelings and what I loved as respect ended in self-respect and afterwards it was possible to let go.
I met the Hare Krishnas, hoped to get more answers on that level and went for a visit. But it was not that easy to relate the personal higher self to divinity that is a path to go.
So I began to meditate and met the first time the sound level, it came out of the hearts of all hearts like a beautiful melody. That is how I got into TM, but that beautiful sound was afterwards no more there and we went on hoping of a better answer and finally it was there as divinity in the heart.
I got some vibuthi from someone and took it in my meditation and it transformed into a feeling and was a flow downwards in the heart, it transformed first into love and there was a tiny small dark blue form, divinity in the heart. That is how I came to Baba.
But it still looked like no answers.
Only after coming back from the US he was holding up in the dream a book and that is how I began to write and in writing I noticed in self-reflection we got answers. And that is how I realized, that nobody can give us the answer, we have to find it in our own self, therefore, it is called self-realization.
Writing had already been a means when it was a diary and I was seventeen. But it is not that easy, we have to somehow get into it and it had to grow. It is a long path from the first writing and writing a book to finally writing in that blog.
The result doesn’t matter really, what matters is something else, it matter that we do it. That is the great thing about it – the readiness to go for it and to do it.
Food is considered God, as it is the source of a person’s life, body, mind, and character. Eat only what you need. Do not be greedy and take more than you can eat and waste the rest. Wasting food is a great sin; your surplus can feed another stomach. Even a major part of the food you consume, the gross part, is thrown out as waste matter. A minute amount of the food, which is the subtle part, is assimilated by the body and flows as blood. And a minuscule amount, which is the subtlest part of the food, makes up your mind. Therefore mind is the reflection of the food consumed. When demonic tendencies arise in our minds, know that it is from the food we consume. To receive real nourishment, pay attention to the quality of food that you eat and let it be very pure, clean, sanctified, and Satvic.
Baba (thought for the day)
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