Direction into the Light and Character

The very first thing you must do, to impress upon your mind the reality, is to recite the Name of God and dwell on His Glory in the mind.
This will ensure the tongue will not stray into lesser topics and the mind will not drag you into inferior matters. Remember, the journey of everyone is towards the cemetery. Every day brings you nearer to your final moment.

So do not delay the duty that you must carry out for your own lasting good. Revere man; that is the first step towards reverence for God, for man is prathyaksha (perceptible) while God is paroksha (imperceptible). Endeavour to see the Lord that resides in the heart of every living being. This will certainly lead you to eternity and save you from births and deaths.

Baba (thought for the day)

 It was a great experience to realize him in the heart. He is very tiny and dark blue as indweller in the heart and in every heart, therefore, he is in the heart of all hearts and that is everywhere. He is smaller than the smallest and at the same time bigger than the biggest.

I was not happy about TM. It felt good in the beginning. I went on taking it as it comes. There had to be the awareness that TM is not that, because otherwise, I would not have been looking for it anymore and would be still there.

I wanted to be in the present, there was TM meditation, big courses and I was even living in the TM-center and everything seemed TM.

I got into a relationship with the NL. I came back from Paris after living in the French part of Switzerland for ten years, only the last three years in Paris. And I was single again and I thought he was interesting, because he had a direct contact with the master, we all didn’t have and he was a long time TM meditator.
The Maharishi was still in the Swiss mountains but not anymore for long, he was about to leave for good, because of tax problems and after he left, all of them hoped to be able one day to live in his presence again. He was building a new TM capital near New Delhi, the capital of India, but that didn’t work out.
During that time, the master not there, it happened that the experiences turned into the opposite. First I had no idea what it was, because I still believed TM would solve all problems and it should get okay again. I had no idea that I dealt with the background of TM and the reality that the master was not there.

First I thought it was because of my karma. The background of TM and how it was structured was unknown, we had no idea what we dealt with in reality. In the mean time I know how difficult it is to understand. What was ahead of me was a study of yoga, background unity, and I had practically no knowledge. Instead of enjoying it, I was scared, because I was forced by the circumstances to do it.

In beginning I didn’t know if it was only due to me or if it was in general. Years passed in a feeling of lost and no indication how to go on, but Baba said in an interview: Follow the master, fight to the end and finish the game.

I thought I followed the master when my ex said I belonged to him and he gave Baba a letter and he took it. Soon I found out, I didn’t follow the master, I followed my ex. After I began to question it in following dreams and impressions coming up in the inner child. It was a process to find the observer again, because the observer is behind the situation with the wounded child. We have to find the reason why there is a wounded child to get back to the observer again.

I didn’t know where to begin with. It felt like a state of helplessness to be in the wounded child not knowing where to begin with. It became a process to find answers. As I had seen the self in the white light. The big picture was okay, but not the small steps in it.

The NL had to check all relationships with the Maharishi, but he was not anymore present and whatever the reason, he didn’t do it.

But he had promised it. I was waiting for it and couldn’t go ahead if he didn’t do itdidn’t know why he didn’t go for it. In time the energy changed upside down, broke in pieces, it showed that the master was not there, they were just puppets and the hand was not holding them and they felt like enemies and after came the black hole in the meditation, that was a shock. No answer, no way TM could help, TM was the source of the problem.

I hoped still it wold get okay again and went with the NL to the Maharishi in Noida, but now the ‘criminal’ was above his head. For me again a shock enforcing the wounded child instead of being in the observer and for the yogi it meant, the leader didn’t go in direction of truth, of yoga and or friendship.

Therefore, the yogi said to the NL if he would not be holding up the light, someone else would do it.

He was not aware of the problems he caused, there was no truth or yoga possible if we are not living with character. He had promised something, made me believe he would do it, but for whatever the reason, he didn’t do it and it began to turn around in the opposite. For me it was a question of direction light and he was not holding up the light, in fact, that was deciding it. There was no need for further checking, but when we left Noida it was not yet sure, but after three months he went with someone else again to the Maharishi and told me that he was sad. He thought that he was sad because I was not there, but I told him that he was sad because of him, not because of me, but he didn’t get it.

He is not a yogi, he is the criminal.

But to be able to understand that, I had to be able to understand everything else too.