Heaven and Hell, but the Observer is only real if Free

The source of all types of sorrow is ignorance (ajnana). The source of ignorance is identification with the body - the delusion that you are the body. This can be removed only by the acquisition of right knowledge.

To remove darkness, light is needed; darkness cannot be frightened away, nor can you make it yield by prayer or petition or protest. It will not disappear unless light comes in. When ignorance goes, grief too vanishes. That is why, in the Geeta, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna, “Attach yourself to Me and earn the light of True Knowledge and tread the path of ‘No grief’.

Baba (thought for the day)

The observer is in control. If we watch the interaction between the observer and the inner child, we are automatically in control. But it is not only watching but understanding it. If there is a trance which came out of fear, we have to find the source of it to wake up the observer to make it go away.

TM called them governors and ministers etc.
Transcending means going beyond trance, that is the observer and therefore, controls the environment, but with TM it is only the TM environment.

During Baba’s Darshan in the beginning I was surprised to see that he changed inside constantly. He was one with the people, but at the same time beyond it. It felt like lots of shades passing by in his face and he was always behind, that is what I saw in the first Darshans.

TM technique cleaned mind, it means no trance, therefore, everything is seen as stress, no trance can form.

But they are not aware of it and to get hold of trance, we have to realize what it is. And by that they recreate a new trance, the movement trance, not allowed to go to another master, not allowed this and that.

Fear of being Killed and the Observer

“By changing a very common misconception—the idea that your problems are to be found in the outer situations of life—you can remove your problems once and for all. Understand that the difficulties are to be found within your own mind. Once you become aware of this, you can begin the process of removing your inner weakness.”
Amma

The most important thing in the observer is to create the inner child by willpower. Being focused on the observer for such a long time, I forgot to create it myself.
We have to recognize that the observer is part of the subjective experience. The first question was therefore, what happened in the past what the inner child cannot accept.
Looking back at all those experiences, some I didn’t integrate.
It was not part of TM to observe, but I was in the observer and therefore, I couldn’t integrate the experience, there was no feedback on TM level.
And the second question is, if there was something that created unrealistic ideas about the future?
And that was definitely there, it was that dream when I went with Baba down the escalator and he transformed himself into a prince I married and we reached the bottom and there was a check with lots of money. That dream made me go on even if the present had become that unpleasant I didn’t know how to survive in the present.
That was definitely a trance created by that dream.
Because it was Sai Baba in the dream, I went for that trance to find out a way with the child to get away from it. I had to go back in my country. I was in India, she was too small, married with an American and my parents lived in Spain. I could not just go back and begin new, she was too small.

Amma, the Inner Child and Freedom

“To remember God, you have to forget. To be really focused on God is to be fully and absolutely in the present moment, forgetting the past and the future. That alone is real prayer.”
Amma

Amma was in the midst of people and I think she carried a birthday cake and afterwards she was lying at my side and it was about the inner child.

I talked to her and she felt like a friend I had in childhood.
I was kind of surprised to find Amma at my side after I woke up but it felt also good, but with a spiritual master involved there is always a deeper meaning, wake up.
I got always dreams of her.
I am sure it has to do with the inner child. Looking into that inner child work, I had paused for a while, it is a mirror, a mirror we can work with.
The observer is not only the observer, but also the observed and therefore, he is the observation.
And the prayer above is my way to pray and to meditate.
It is the same with the inner child work, if we invent an inner parent talking to the child there are two identifications, the inner child and the parents and to be able to keep up a relationship between them we have to hold on to both.
But if we get aware of the observer creating the inner child, the observer gets lost in the identity, Wolinsky ‘The dark side of the inner Child’ talks about the observer going asleep.
We have to wake up the observer.
However, there is a relationship between the observer, the observed and observing and it is all the same, it is both.
And the question is the inner child.
I remember that Amma said in a speech that she is the inner child.
And do you know what felt good when waking up, I felt free.

Direction into the Light and Character

The very first thing you must do, to impress upon your mind the reality, is to recite the Name of God and dwell on His Glory in the mind.
This will ensure the tongue will not stray into lesser topics and the mind will not drag you into inferior matters. Remember, the journey of everyone is towards the cemetery. Every day brings you nearer to your final moment.

So do not delay the duty that you must carry out for your own lasting good. Revere man; that is the first step towards reverence for God, for man is prathyaksha (perceptible) while God is paroksha (imperceptible). Endeavour to see the Lord that resides in the heart of every living being. This will certainly lead you to eternity and save you from births and deaths.

Baba (thought for the day)

 It was a great experience to realize him in the heart. He is very tiny and dark blue as indweller in the heart and in every heart, therefore, he is in the heart of all hearts and that is everywhere. He is smaller than the smallest and at the same time bigger than the biggest.

I was not happy about TM. It felt good in the beginning. I went on taking it as it comes. There had to be the awareness that TM is not that, because otherwise, I would not have been looking for it anymore and would be still there.

I wanted to be in the present, there was TM meditation, big courses and I was even living in the TM-center and everything seemed TM.

Happiness, Obstacles and Delusion

Everybody aspires for happiness. Where is happiness? Without working hard, you cannot get happiness. During ancient times, people would offer their salutations to action (karma) before undertaking it; they chanted thasmai namah karmane (salutations to action). In India, some people follow this sacred tradition even today. A dancer salutes the anklets before tying them to the feet. Even an uneducated driver offers his obeisance to the steering wheel before driving the vehicle and some cricketers too, pay their respects to the ball before starting to bowl. First and foremost, offer respects and express gratitude to karma before undertaking it. Make it a practice every day. It will then give good results. Understand your duty and perform it to the best of your abilities. Then, you will earn the deservedness to experience happiness.

Baba (thought for the day)

It could be a good thing to offer salutation to karma… It is like a morning prayer asking for blessings for the day. In the TM puja we used to tell, thasmai shri guraveh namah, obedience to the guru.

I feel better doing it to Karma thasmai namah kamane. At least action is always present, it is something we do now and it is not about a guru which is not present like during TM and getting by that the impression he was there, and finding out he was not. It seems that was why the result was a black hole.

It is a strange matter with insights.

Borderliners exhibit identity disturbance and a markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. Because of the lack of a clear identity, borderliners often feel a black hole or void they constantly try to fill. Often they will resort to a negative identity rather than none at all.

They are basically confused and cannot order their inner chaotic experience, often they don’t do it in purpose but their attitude can exhaust the people around them. Some are physically abusive and destructive for the environment, but they function on a more primitive level. They build up defence mechanism such a delusions, distortions, splitting, magical thinking, omnipotent denial, projective identification. Many of these defences are inextricably linked to splitting and the epicentre creates confusion and chaos. In that sense TM creates a borderline disorder. If we are first related to a normal self, we begin to meditate and become a TM-teacher and with puja and initiating people we get referred to thasmai shri guraveh namah, obedience to the guru. But that guru is not there.

Foundation of a big Mansion

Develop that confidence on the Self. The Self is not visible even as the foundations of a big mansion are not visible. But without the foundation the edifice cannot stand. Likewise self-confidence is the base for self-satisfaction. The roof of Mansion is self-sacrifice. Then you have self-realization.
Baba

I was in an email conversation with my sister and we looked at old stuff and family background.
Developing the self is really basic, because it is for all of us the same self, even if we have different backgrounds and upbringing, professions and education. He doesn’t tell what kind of problems we will meet, he just tells self-confidence and following the inner master he leads somehow to the right background and to the right knowledge.
Today I am even able to see that I always was focused on the observer and that is why I began with TM to be more calm and able to see what happens inside in the mind, to be less under stress and able to face whatever will be coming. When I met the NL I came back from Paris and I thought he went into the light and as he had the power, he had to check it with the yogi. We all didn’t really know why he had to check it, but it seemed it had to do with safety first.

Self-confidence is the Path

"The first thing you have to do is to develop self-confidence. It is such people who have no confidence in their own self who begin to wander about and to waver, and take to various different paths. When you take your body to different places, and when you go about moving aimlessly, the mind also goes to different places."
Baba (thought for the day)

If the path is self-confidence it means to find the self and to have trust that the self will appear and it forces us to use discrimination in the self, because that self is permanent, a true value, non-changing and looking around tell me, what is not changing?

Everything we see with the eyes and the senses is changing, therefore, it is not the self. Who is the self?
Do you see anything around you not changing? Anything which will be always the same?
That is God, it is not changing and therefore, it is also as universal, exactly it is bigger than the biggest and smaller than the smallest, now do we have trust and self-confidence?

The ten Bulls; and it has four Legs

"In the temples of Eshwara (or Shiva), you find 'Nandi' (image of bull) in front of deity. What is the inner significance of this? The usual reply you get is that 'Nandi' is the 'Vahanam' (vehicle) of Eshwara, as if he could not afford to have a better vehicle than a bull.
This is a wrong idea. The truth is that just as 'Lingam' is the symbol of the Lord (Eshwara), 'Nandi' (bull) is the symbol for 'Jiva' (individual soul). Therefore, just like the Nandi, man should turn away from 'Prakriti' (the world) and direct all his attention towards Eshwara (God) only.
The bull on which Shiva is said to ride is not the animal by that name, but the symbol of Dharma (righteousness) which has four legs - Sathya (truth), Dharma (righteousness), Shanti (peace) and Prema (love)."
Baba

It seems not too easy for the West to understand that. If we believe in science only and not in a living God, only the bull seem to be real and the one who is riding it is not known. It is the world of Maya (illusion). There are no answers on that level and no positivity. It means life doesn’t make any sense and also not what we do in life.

The bull corresponds also to the four ‘F’.

Follow the master. Face the devil. Fight to the end. Finish the game. (Baba)

To understand oneness, unity, we have to get an experience of the sacred relationship between Lord Shiva and the bull.

I was sitting in a Baba Darshan and wondered very much because in the air was a tigress moving constantly back and forth like in a cage, as the animals do in the zoo.
I would have given anything to get out of it, but I got just aware of it.
It must be a different experience if it is a bull or a tiger. Since I came back here I was constantly working on getting more knowledge about it and get closer to understanding the co-dependence between the body and Atman to understand that Shiva and Shakti power.
It has to do with the feminine side in a man and the masculine side in a woman and living in harmony with it.
If I got a hint in the dream of the brother doing the worst he can do, it has to do with that too.
He doesn’t know that he is riding a bull and that he has four legs, ignoring it he lives a freedom when the bull is getting free and he cannot rid it. There is that old Zen story of the ‘ten bulls’, the ‘ten ox herding pictures’. It shows in ten pictures the search of the soul and the understanding of  Dharma to get to enlightenment. But even these pictures are difficult to understand if we have no notion of Dharma.