He will reveal Himself to You

Many of you often come to Puttaparthi or visit other holy places. You hear scholars expounding the scriptures. You have observed great and noble souls. What is the benefit? How have you improved by all this? Have you succeeded in at least recognising your rajasic (passionate) and tamasic (dark) habits and tendencies? Recognizing them as deleterious is the first step in removing them. Have you become more and more serene and poised (Sathvic) as the years go by, or are you the same dull or perhaps fiery individual?
If you must know the Lord, you must love the Lord and lead your life with good conduct. Hatred or even indifference will result only in misunderstanding. Develop close association with the Lord and He will reveal Himself to you.

Baba (thought for the day)

 

In our last study circle there was the question about 'sathva' and it was kind of surprising to notice that it was not known or understood. There was the question, what is meant with 'sathva'. Is it a good question?
Certainly, because we cannot get aware of it if we don't inquire about it. But if we have no idea about 'Sathva', we also do not know the difference between 'Rajas' and 'Tamas'.

We observed great souls? The first step is discrimination and that means to get aware of the difference between Sathva, Rajas and Tamas, the great souls are established in sathva. 

If we are not aware of the tamasic and rajasic tendencies, we cannot remove them. 

But looking around here, it feels like they talk about God and love and after there is nothing anymore and not even the knowing where to begin with. They try to feel love, mind level. If we try to feel it - that is not permanent and not based on truth. And as we looked at discrimination first, one said, 'discrimination for sure not, it is about unity' and it sounded convinced, she said it loud in the circle and it was not her turn. We get to wrong conclusions, if we do not enough thinking it over. 

It feels like people try to understand it, but they stop when they hear God and love and afterwards they try to feel love and unity and that feels to them like the opposite, as they relate discrimination only to the head and intellect, that we can know the difference with the heart, that seems kind of far away, but it is seen with the heart. We are just not aware that the heart has the quality of discrimination.

That means there is also no feeling for the difference between mind and no mind or Atman, because they try to feel love. It has to be a permanent state and that has nothing to do with trying to feel love. And they are that uncertain that most of them do not go for meditation. But there is development in singing and Bhajans, some are playing instruments and we have great singers, that is developing the heart, but it seemes understanding it is far behind.

And as it is in the heart, we have to know the influence on the heart level. 

 

It feels heavy if we get aware that we have been taken advantage of, as it is the heart level. If it would be intellect we might could just get into distance and forget about it, but not on the heart level. 
 

It was only a few years before my mother's death that one morning I couldn't get up anymore, my strength had left and I couldn't wake up anymore, it felt like a sleeping sickness. Later I called it burnout. It had kind of the same symptoms, but it seems only partially right, it is rather a state of present and it feels like a prison. 

The last time I saw Baba was in February 03 when my ex signed the divorce papers, what he had handled with indifference all along, but in Baba's presence was that much positivity that he did it.
The year after was the worst working experience ever, because I worked for a corrupt lawyer, but he anyhow felt like Baba and I went on. At night in the dream it was all dark, and the employees were hung up on the feet getting slaughtered, every year another one lost the job. It was all upside down. 
What did that have to do with Baba?

It was kind of difficult, but he was on the top as it seems and he helped the Russians to get established, even if it was against the law. The power had to do with Baba, so we lost a year later the job and I began to dance and go to the Osho disco, because 20 yrs. before he had been in my dream and said I should come to him, he would give me power. I thought something must be wrong, because everything went wrong and if felt like, somehow I had missed something.

The name I got in meditation and it was in spring 04. During that time it was about dancing into freedom, often after those evenings I came back and was feeling like a child, about six years old. In that time the neighbor came also in my dream, even though I had left nearly thirty years ago, he lived in front of my parent's house and it was about marriage, in the dream it was clear what he understood under getting married, it was about sex.

After I told him, it was in the inner master that he had understood that he was responsible, because of manipulation, staying in front of our door, instead of moving away, it was kind of strange and on october same year he died. My mother told me that he died, but not how and I didn't ask.  

I remember how I felt during dance and I saw it in a couple present that they felt like him and his wife, it means that background came up again, it was related to my parent's house. 

They were in my dream constantly as grey and pink, it alternated between pink, the heart and grey, habit and every day boredom.

The colors got stronger during that time and inside it said, if it was light blue, I could go ahead. That was present afterwards during Bhajans in Prasanthi and once it was present in the inner view after Bhajans even here.
It felt like a stream of light blue, only here it was a lake. That was the inner view. 

Therefore, with dancing the inner view got more intense and clear and the difference between Rajas and Tamas was present in colors.

Tamas is dark and black and upside down and Rajas is red and Sathva is white, but there are also different colors depending the energy and chakra level.

The energy with the lawyer was tamasic, because it was upside down and dark.  

Finally I did an inner child workshop and we got aware of shame, it is tamasic energy. Also the leaders had big black chains, binding people to their work and she told me also in the dream how many millions they had earned with that work. If I thought it was funny in the beginning, because I couldn't possibly talk about those inner views in the work shop and group, it changed afterwards and it was everything else but funny. 
He understood everything on body level anyhow and it felt brown and dark and took energy away. I didn't think it would be that difficult to get out of it again.    

During that course I hoped finally to get some answers and when I realized that I had only more questions and no answers, the energy was gone, it turned into the opposite and that is when I noticed it was better not to do courses anymore.

I remembered again the past energy levels in the parent's house, it felt like sticky.
If I thought I would just be able to get out of it, it was wrong and it said in the insight that it was too late for my mother, as she was too old, that means I should have done it twenty years before, but as I was not aware of it, I went to Baba and thought it would talk care of it, but I didn't have the impression that it did take care of it.

My motivation was gone and it felt like everything needed too much effort. I dreamt several times that the train had left, it was too late, whatever that was. 

I went in direction of colors, because they were more consciously present and when we went to Brazil, I was surprised to find all those colors, they worked with the chakra energy levels and colors. 

Baba said in the dream that it didn't work because older age needs more safety. The dancing was like being with others and it felt good, but it was no socializing, actually, I didn't know how, as I was in constant meditation and one day it said, stop dancing and afterwards I went to Bhajans again.

But the questions Baba had asked in the interview room in 89 I got only answered this year and I always went in that direction.
There has been a lot happening on the way to get there. He stirred up basically everything, but nothing was okay, not the relationship, not the job level and it has only become more difficult with time and awfully heavy. 

 

It was during the time when Baba was leaving the body, he said inside, that my family let me down. But it needs time to get aware of it and it is not possible without inquiry, that is how we realize the difference between a functional and non-functional family and what it means to be let down. 

 

If you must know the Lord, you must love the Lord and lead your life with good conduct. Hatred or even indifference will result only in misunderstanding. Develop close association with the Lord and He will reveal Himself to you.

 

To get the insight of the difference between rajasic and tamasic tendencies in our mind, we have to get aware of it to be able to remove the tendencies in the mind and it reflects.
It was present in the brother and his reaction and in the insight it looked differently from the outside, but understanding the level of the insight and the color, it was not surprising how it felt on the feeling level, and it had said before that he is doing the worst he can do, the question was just, what is the worst? 

He was backbiting and sarcastic, destroying values he had no notion about it, with about every word he said, he had an awful attitude of mind.

If we listen and in just listening, it is a state of Tamas, we have to react and that means to think it over. Indifference is not the right thing to do and my ex always reacted with indifference. 

If we react it gets in a state of Rajas and movement. There is a progression from listening to thinking it over to realization and reflection, it has to do with the conclusion of a time period on the worldly level. Baba explained that on the spiritual level it is time transcending itself and it will be the experience of 'that', because we cannot name it, the transcendental level is beyond name and form and always the same, forever true and unchanging.