Sunday, May 14, 2017

The Boat Across the Sea of Worldly Life

Devotion and faith are the two oars with which you can ferry the boat across the sea of worldly life. A child told its mother when it went to bed at night, "Mother! Wake me up when I am hungry." The mother answered, "There is no need child, your hunger will itself wake you up." So too, when the hunger for God comes, it will itself activate you and make you seek the food you need. God has endowed you with hunger and He supplies the food; He has endowed you with illness and He provides the medicine. Your duty is to see that you get the proper hunger and the right illness, and use the appropriate food or drug! Remember, the Lord is a Mountain of Love (Prema); any number of ants carrying away particles of sweetness cannot exhaust His plenty. He is an Ocean of Mercy without a limiting shore. Devotion is the easiest way to win His grace.

When we think it over we have to find a way to see it in our own life to understand it, we can imagine the boat that ferries us across the sea of worldly life, but we need to experience it not just imagine it and how do we get to that experience, in listening to his words and thinking it over. 
The two oars are devotion and faith. 
How do you experience those two, devotion and faith, do you remember in your life an experience when you can relate to that boat and how you got aware of the to oars of devotion and faith. We can ask ourselves, how do we get that experience? 
What do we remember and we can make a kind of brain storming, we write down what we remember and then we see if it makes any sense and when it begins to make sense and we begin to remember it in our own life, we think it over and by thinking it over we get a feeling for it and it is not just something we read or hear, but we begin to listen and listening is more than just reading or hearing, it has to go deeper and then only it is possible to absorb it and only when we have those three things we can talk about contemplation. 

When we see it in our own life and we remember a moment in the past when it began with faith. In my life I remember I was looking for self-realization and more or less all over and I couldn't find it anymore and I had the experience of it before, but it was gone and no way it was to be found again. 
I wondered how it had that experience present of it and it was during writing, at that time it had been a diary, and it was as well thinking it over, but it was just about values and ideals and getting aware of it and enjoying of writing it down. With time I somehow didn't believe that there had been a feeling of self-realization anymore, there seemed to be no way of getting aware of it again. But it had been there, I didn't need that much faith, I had the experience of it, it was just no more present and no more part of my life and my experience and it didn't feel good. it felt holy and it was very important and therefore, even if I couldn't find it, it had been there and it was not possible to forget it. More I was looking for it less I was able to find it. 


Finally I began to read and whatever I could find about self-realization and that is how I got aware, no searching for it, it was rather waiting for it. Finally something, an indication, but if I wanted to watch and wait I needed something to be able to do that and that is the boat he is talking about here. It was about watching and it began with thinking it over and waiting, that is how it would get into direct experience somehow. I had to watch and wait until it would be there, what - it had to become experience and it was about the higher self and what was needed is just what Swami is mentioning here, it was faith and devotion, faith is the strength that we go for it and we had to keep a positive attitude, just watching and waiting, we need faith, if we don't have any faith, we are unable to do it, it is all based on faith and the faith that the experience had been there before, therefore, it has to be there again. 
The faith was based on experience and that experience felt like self-realization and it had been such a charming feeling it was just about the right direction, and it felt totally right, but it had not been present in for a long time, it was more like how do we ever get there again? Faith was needed and devotion, everything what was good and positive was there in one word, God and that is devotion. If we think about God, it is  It is what is only good and never harming, we know it is always right, it is never wrong, that is how we were able to go on watching and waiting and with Swami's words we were in the boat across the sea of worldly life and we have the two oars, what is needed is faith and devotion. 

We did it and after getting to the direct perception, direct experience, we knew that it works and why we had to watch, but it was beyond the mind with direct experience, it means also transcending the mind and therefore, it was not possible to understand it with the mind. That is the difficulty for the mind to understand, the mind is of no help, we have to accept truth that the mind cannot understand it, therefore, we have to listen to his words and by thinking it over we are able to absorb, it is a feeling for it that feels like we understand it, but we know it is not our own understanding but the absorbed wisdom. 

Devotion and faith are the two oars with which you can ferry the boat across the sea of worldly life. A child told its mother when it went to bed at night, "Mother! Wake me up when I am hungry." The mother answered, "There is no need child, your hunger will itself wake you up." So too, when the hunger for God comes, it will itself activate you and make you seek the food you need. God has endowed you with hunger and He supplies the food; He has endowed you with illness and He provides the medicine. 

The insight was like a taste of it, to get the food we have to get in touch with him to be able to listen to his words, it is his words that are the food for the hungry. 
The hunger is in the experience and now we need the right food. The right food is not his Lilas as people think it is, it is based on our own experience, our own perception, the food for our hunger we find in his words and in thinking it over. Contemplation is in that sense a Sadhana, a spiritual practice and it is the food we are looking for. 

Your duty is to see that you get the proper hunger and the right illness, and use the appropriate food or drug! 

We don't even know that we are hungry, we sing and we think that is the should right food and we shouldn't be hungry anymore, but a lot of people seem to miss something and they don't know what it is really and tell miracle stories about his Lilas and still the hunger is there, it is not gone and why not, it is not direct perception. The singing is like meditation direct experience, we make the experience of it and it purifies the mind, but we need to listen to his words he will tell us that during singing we are one and we can get aware of it that we are all merge in the same love and that it purifies the mind and when we know it because we listen to him, we will be fulfilled, as he said in one of his quotes, the aim of it is after all self-realization. The singing is practice, it is direct experience, but fulfilling is the realization of it. 

Remember, the Lord is a Mountain of Love (Prema); any number of ants carrying away particles of sweetness cannot exhaust His plenty. He is an Ocean of Mercy without a limiting shore. Devotion is the easiest way to win His grace.

By watching everything else was present as well, devotion and faith, when I had to explain it was always still a problem, we don't know how to make sense to it, it is not possible to explain it on the mind level, it transcends the mind, the self-realized authority is beyond the mind, we have to listen to his words. 
We have an abstract purpose of self-realization. I had mentioned it a few times and I got always a negative feedbacks. The first time it was during lunch and my father called me a communist, everything at that time what was unknown and a bit different was seen as communist at that time, but I was very young, but I didn't talk about it anymore, it was kind of a shock to realize his reaction and how he looked at it, for me it felt holy and beyond doubt. And I mentioned it to some of my friends, one was a class mate and the best friend of my brother, they had been with the scouts together and he said that doesn't exist and he didn't see it as an ideal of life. I had the experience of it, therefore, in some way or it had to happen and nobody else had it, so there was no use talking about it and I said it to another friend of mine as well, he had also been a school mate and we had been good friends for a while, he went into business and he had already a strange life style and he was the first one who died and it was on the airplane he had a heart attach, he was in his thirties. 

As I knew his life style a bit, even if it was a shock that he died so early, he went beyond everything that was healthy and okay, he had no time for self-realization. 
But I had told him about self-realization and he had answered that it was part of the old Greeks and the time of Aristotle and afterwards I didn't talk about it anymore, I had understood that it was impossible to make sense and it was misunderstood and it was not possible to communicate it just like that. 
In the boat of faith and devotion we went on without talking about it in silence, to be able to watch as it had to become experience, direct perception. At that time I was not writing, i was just waiting and I went on with my job, it was the boat Swami is mentioning here. We get aware of it by listening and when I see that time in that light of that example sitting in that boat it kind of gets different and more clear and it makes sense, now it is not only possible of talking about it, but it is even a way to contemplate on his words, what is the real value of it. 
With his words we can with contemplation explain our own experience, we are not different from him, but we have to know how to contemplate on his words and by doing it we get aware of it. It is purification and it makes us feel good, we remember the divinity and we contemplate it and that is the bliss of the oneness with the divine we get aware of it or realize it by contemplating his words. It has to be direct experience and now it is not only direct experience and we don't know how talking about it and how to make sense to it, now it is coming alive and it make contemplation a living reality. 

There is a lot of mind confusion going on when it is about listening to the heart, it is nothing else but focus inside, but in general we have people they seem to just talk about his Lilas and think that is contemplation. 

He said, follow the inner master, fight to the end and finish the game. Therefore, it began with faith and devotion and we were in that boat and when someone asked what I am doing I answered, I am looking for truth and he asked, what's that? 
I went on waiting, one night the higher self was in my dream and next morning I knew it was direct experience and it felt like celebration, joy, happiness, it was direct experience about the higher self, just 'that', it was light, it was love and it was beauty and just 'that', it was what I had been looking for, the difference is at that time I didn't have the words, his words, talking about it as I do now. 
It was clear beyond doubt, it still is and I was glad that the dream was that clear, it was much closer to existence than it is in the mind, or in the waking stage. 
It was a bright light and it was no doubt about it and just love that made it incredibly beautiful. It was in a light body and there was a gap between the sleeping dark body and between the transcendental light and the sleeping body in that gap was a blue ribbon and in it was in letters written, 'self' and that is how I knew it was what I had been looking for. 
It began with faith and devotion, the boat of faith made me go on and devotion took care of it that it was possible to be positive and to have the strength of going on to be able to go to the end to get the direct experience of it, we need to be positive and to see good, do good, be good as Swami is telling us. 

After that self experience I was still waiting and watching and I went wherever I had the feeling there was light, it was following the master without knowing it and in that sense thinking it over now we can explain it in his words, we can contemplate about it and that is the value of it. It is a spiritual sadhana, the insights come alive with his words. 
in a way I was still looking for a way to communicate it. Even if I had the experience of the higher self, it was not that easy talking about it and I went on with meditation and it was a way to keep in touch with the higher self, so after I began with meditation, I always went on, but it was in silence and we had not words to contemplate about it. 
And in that time I went for dynamic meditation and I somehow had to start new again with silent sitting and Swami was in my dream it was only some time before he left the body and I had to start again, I don't remember if it was that what made me start again or if I began already before, I was writing my book and there was a time I was dancing and it was about dynamic meditation and Qigong, but I went back finally to my regular morning meditation and the evening is open as I am writing and contemplating, it also takes time and we don't want to spend our more time morning and evening only with meditation, usually it is filled with contemplation and thinking over his thoughts. 

It is only by thinking it over and using his words, it began to make sense and now it is possible to tell what had happened in the past and we can talk about the boat of faith and devotion and it does make sense, as we had the experience of it. It is possible to share it in the light of his words. 
That is what I had been looking for and it is a long way of getting there, we always got to the conclusion, transcend the mind to make it a spiritual experience and in that sense, with watching faith and devotion, he is telling us what we did and why we don't find the words without him, because it goes beyond the mind. 
When we listen to his words, he is telling us what is happening and why we had finally a self-experience what was a kind of Darshan. Darshan is the sight of truth, it has to be direct experience, direct perception, it cannot be conceptual and something we just think or we believe, but we have never experienced. 
If we listen and think it over it as well turns into direct experience and direct perception, we get aware of it and we understand it by thinking it over. When we talk about it, it is mostly the conceptual level and in the mind, to go beyond the mind we have to transcend it and that is happening only by listening, thinking it over we are able to absorb and it will become direct experience. 






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