The Heart is the Spring of Joy

Just like a fish which can live only when it is immersed in water, when it feels the element all around it, so too man is a being that can live only when immersed in ananda (bliss); one must have ananda not merely at home, in society and in the world but more than all, in the heart.

As a matter of fact, the ananda in the heart produces ananda all around; the heart is the spring of joy. That spring has to be touched by constant meditation, recitation and the intermittent dwelling on the glory, the grace and the inexhaustible manifestations of the Lord, that is, smarana, chethana and manana. Hold fast to the goal; the devotee should never turn back. Never give way to doubt or despair.

Baba (thought for the day)

It is not different from us, it is not outside, it is inside and the same. 
We have to find it in out own heart to understand that statement of Baba that we should be able to see ananda, bliss in our home, society and the world, but more than all in the heart.

Without that ananda in the heart it will not be present in the outside. The joy is in the heart.

We have to listen to our heart and in the heart it is his language, it is 'He'.

What does it mean when we tell 'He' and not 'I'?

If we think 'I', the I is identified with the body. The voice in the heart is not the same 'I' and it is only possible to hear it in the silence of the heart. Yesterday, the memory of the twin soul was present and it is the value of the heart, both souls the same, there is no difference and no separation possible.

When Baba left the body a few days ahead in the inner view we went down a deep well and there was only some little water left and we went up again and on the way he dropped the body and on the top was Krishna and his brother.

That is also the twin soul, Krishna is not incarnating in this world without his brother and brother means 'devotion', he is here for his devotees and with his devotees.

This morning it was present in my meditation and it is like going on through all experiences, the presence of the twin soul, knowing it is 'that'. There is no doubt possible on that level, there is also no despair, but if the reflection of that level is not met, it can result in doubt and despair and the heart begins to suffer.

Hold fast to the goal; the devotee should never turn back. Never give way to doubt or despair.

After the higher self was present as light in the inner view it was kind of clear that it had to go in that direction and that we had to face whatever obstacles are there, only it was not yet clear how to integrate it and see it in my own life. 
That was actually the most difficult part of it, to get the right inner reflection in our own self, we have to be able to see it in our own self.

Some time ago dance meditation and dynamic meditation felt also like joy, but it said to take care of the brother and afterwards I went through all those different levels of 'brotherhood' and there was not much joy in that until now. 

If we feel the joy in the heart, we go on no matter what obstacles are there, and we have to see it in our own life. That was also here rather difficult, because we had to get aware that older age cannot enjoy that type of freedom. 
It is not anymore possible to just let go of all safety structures for the mind in a certain age and go on for no matter what is coming along.

It was great to dance and it was great to listen to the music and to share, but it was not possible on all levels and most people seemed to be in a relationship and constantly protecting it and in a state of constant self-defence against a too open freedom.

The safety part was more important than freedom and they didn't know how to enjoy the freedom and that felt for the heart rather disturbing.

With dynamic meditation we went beyond the mind, it was on thought level of 'not that', as soon as we got back to thoughts, it was again 'not that', in that sense it was easy, but not the level of 'I am that', not the level of the right conclusion and the joy in the heart. It was the safety need in people and the fear to lose something. 
It felt like Baba said inside, older age needs more safety.

He said he understood that I went to Osho, as I had to take care of a teenage daughter and we just had to change something trying to get the right answer, but Baba gave the right answer. He said that it doesn't work, because older age needs more safety.

At a certain point it was frustrating and I was not sure when it began. 

I had met a couple and they seemed nice, but from the beginning on it was not possible to talk, to share, to take it easy, because it felt like she was watching him constantly, afraid of what could happen and it was only that level of rival in the air and that was not joyful at all.

That felt strange and upsetting, because it was not possible to share a normal talk, freedom was a danger that had to be avoided and they were all afraid of it and it was always on body level, but what was most disturbed by it that was the heart, there was no joy in that, whatever that was, for the heart it was painful.

On the level of thoughts it felt like constantly getting aware of 'not that' and it was good as long as it lasted, a great experience on the level of society, but as they didn't know that 'not that' and I knew it from Baba, it felt like an open end, the reflection was not joy in the heart, but sorrow. 
As Baba said, it doesn't work because older age needs more safety.

Even if I knew how to go beyond the mind and body with 'not that' and in that sense it was a great experience and there was joy during dynamic meditation and dance, what came back on the relationship level was not the same and it was no joy for the heart to feel always judged and not okay, it felt like disturbing and troublesome.

Somehow, the innocence of just being happy and being in joy was not present. It was like there was constantly the danger of freedom in the minds and not the joy of freedom. They couldn't enjoy it. What was enjoyed together was the dancing, the togetherness, but it was no joy for the heart.

It felt like a constant problem.

He said after a while, I guess, after all joy was gone, that I should stop dancing, what I did and I went back into silent meditation again.

But last summer I went to a dance festival and it felt great to drive there, just knowing that we would go and dance, it felt just great.
It was a great experience of freedom on the level of society and dynamic dance. 

There was that beauty in the air and the intensity of the presence of an enlightened being. I enjoyed it to drive there, but after all, I was also glad to leave again.

In that sense, I was just an observer.

It is about that joy in the heart, it was present in Baba's darshan. 
It felt always like that much joy, it was overflowing. I had never thought it possible for our heart to be able to feel that much joy!