Running behind the Dog's Tail

The silence you maintain in temples and devotional congregation must be carried over to wherever you go.

It must be taken as an exercise in the control of the senses.

Senses always are exterior oriented. The tongue should not talk evil. The eyes should not look out for evil. The ears should not seek evil.

The presence of God in every being makes everyone holy. Thinking low of others amounts to thinking low of God. You must always cultivate the feeling that God is the Father and everyone around you are brothers and sisters.

This brotherhood is more real and binding than the blood brotherhood, for here the paternal property for which you struggle can be shared without the share of the other being diminished in any way.

Poornasya Poornamaadaaya Poomamevaavasishyate - When the Full is subtracted from the Full, what is left is still Full!

Baba (thought for the day)

 

At work we had a few wrong alarms at the door and lots of excitement about it. It goes directly to the police and if they arrive for nothing, it costs a lot. Still we have to keep the alarm going during daytime for whatever reason.

It always happened in a certain moment and somehow the excitement took over and I got into it. I noticed it only after asking a question and there was no answer on that level, it felt strange.
In that moment I went back to silence.
We are not aware of it, but it is present and we get aware of it when it is no more there. It felt real strange to get involved on that level with that person and getting aware of it, it was like getting involved. That was passion.

At work I am not getting involved with people, not on that level, as much as possible I stay inside alone. 
That is what Baba talks about it as control of senses. 

My ex went to Baba once a year, but has not understood what it means to not talk evil and to not look for evil. He is that used to an ill-intended logic, that he thinks it makes him bright and intelligent and it is the opposite. 

Twenty years and no change, that is not very encouraging for others.

I have to work out his Baba dreams because he doesn't understand it as we still were a family, but a non-functional family. The inner voice said that 'I never said yes'. That is like a joke, my ex after he got me into that relationship telling me he knew, what turned out to be not right, he gave a letter to Baba. Of course, I also hoped it would be right and I would know in time and because Baba took the letter, because of respect for him, I went ahead. I couldn't say yes, I went ahead because Baba took the letter. I thought it would at least be positive and it was just the opposite.

He took advantage of it and afterwards, in the pretext of least effort, he refused to sign the divorce papers and to let go. He would have rather destroyed us than to let go.

After I told him that 'I never said yes', reflection of Baba's Lila, after he only singed in the presence of Baba in the ashram, (opening the heart) he wrote back that I had no 'universal love'.

My reaction was, 'bullshit'.  

Ill-intended logic always responded on that level. 

Being in the observer means getting aware of it. It means I had to answer, it is not about 'universal love', but about peace and equanimity, (follow the inner master, fight to the end and finish the game). I couldn't just go and end it, I had to deal with it for I don't know how many years.  

Ill-intended logic is destroying peace and equanimity. It is the basis for war and fights.

And it turned out being a mud hole. When I thought it was actually finished and I went to the ashram just before Baba left the body, it all came up again. It was not finished, I had to finish the game still.

It feels like an endless story.

He doesn't know what he is doing and he is stupid, because he thinks he knows and he is a devotee. In reality he has not even understood the basics and does exactly what Baba tells here in that thought for the day we should not do. And he did it for the last twenty years or more ... and has not changed and has not understood it and he has in no way become more intelligent. The mud hole means it is depressing and negative, it takes all motivation away and especially because it was with Baba.  

I was a TM-teacher and it went in direction of 'heaven on earth'. It is the level of seva.

I lost it completely with my ex.

I tried to find out why, after all that direction of meditation teacher, it went back into a mud hole and the answer was 'family and Karma'. The TM-teacher was possible, because it was on the level of technique, the background had not been understood. Things had not changed and with Baba I had to get aware of the background parents, family and the level of the mind of the father.

In fact, I married the father, whatever that means, it is real heavy 'bullshit'.

And that made me get fed up, because after all meditation and effort getting away from that parent's pattern, instead of getting out of it, I went back into it.

So for the last years I had to get aware of the background family and patterns, seeing it in the right light to really get out of it. If I married the father, even if I couldn't say 'yes', it seems the father was also on that 'ill-intended-logic' level, the ex is the mirror of the father.

I got that exhausted on the 'spiritual path' - just turning around and running behind a dog's tail..., that is how it felt, I would have done about anything to just get out of it. The past gets repeated no matter what.

When I read that thought for the day, I cannot get beyond that - 'look at it, that is exactly what my ex has not understood...' and if I would tell him, I have as little contact now as possible, he would answer on the level of ill-intended logic.

So there is no way we can live Baba's message or getting aware of it, follow the master, fight to the end and finish the game.
We have to do it and end always on that wrong place back in that mud hole.

I have to do it because that is the path and by that the reaction on the wrong level it is no respect for Baba's Lila, but ill-intended logic, what is the opposite of the teaching and wisdom. He thinks he is a devotee, but he is rather a demon, he is just not aware of it.

He lives in a dream world seeing things as he wants to see it and not as they really are. And it is frustrating, to read a thought for the day and to get always to that same conclusion on that level - 'look at it ... it is exactly what my ex has not understood...', ill-intended logic is evil, it is not good.

Do good, be good, see good that is the way to God. How can we claim to be a devotee if we do bad, see bad and are bad? If doing good is the way to God, doing bad is the way to become a demon.

 

This brotherhood is more real and binding than the blood brotherhood, for here the paternal property for which you struggle can be shared without the share of the other being diminished in any way.

 

But with my ex who claimed to be a devotee that was in no way real. He took care that it was diminishing in every way possible, he didn't care for the wellbeing of the child, nor he cared about time, nor Baba's teaching.

In the end we just have to face the reality of his character.

Money lost, nothing lost, health lost, something lost, character lost, everything lost.

He has lost the character.  

 

Poornasya Poornamaadaaya Poomamevaavasishyate - When the Full is subtracted from the Full, what is left is still Full!

 

That is the level of joy and meditation.

And it was not real with TM, but also not with Baba. It would be great if it would be real, but it was in no way true.

That was already present being a TM-teacher thirty years ago and thinking it would get real, it felt like 'going on and on' and I even mentioned it and I said to M. it feels just like 'going on and on'.

But afterwards it turned out to be a dead-end road with TM and a mud hole with my ex and I tried to do everything right to get out of those patterns and the bad Karma.

Now it feels like running behind a dog's tail.