There are only two states of consciousness. One is deep sleep or dreaming: day dream or night dream. Throughout the day one dreams, "Oh, what will happen to me?
Or I will do this, I will do that." Building castles in the air.
However, once you know that you are day dreaming, that very moment a gush of energy overtakes you; you become alert and that alertness wakes you up to the reality. You are awakened.
That awakening is prajna, samadhi. That moment alone you are fully alive and awakened to the truth of what is. Rest of the time, it is all sleep.
The discrimination is about day dream or night dream.
That is why in looking at our dreams we actually wake up.
All that inner seeing in the dream state has to do with reflection.
In the dream state the mind is not functioning and therefore, it is not telling, but that is not possible, therefore, the dream is a reflection and if there is a higher reality we learn from it.
Baba called it super conscious state and samadhi.
It was waking me up instantaneously, it is like hearing the knocking at the door and thinking, what did he tell me? He is hungry? Were do we go for dinner?
That is the dream, because it was not about a dinner, it was not about you, but it was about an inner date and that happened when he actually left the body. It was kind of a preparation for it.
My mind had difficulties to wake up to that reality, but it happens anyhow.
The same way he tells the knowledge of the Avatar has to be born.
And he engaged us inside to make us aware of it, because a birth it not happening if there is only one person.
Whatever came up by being 'engaged', whatever the questions, it was a mirror of reality, because he made it.
It is about understanding it.
And because I am a Baba devotee and I believe in him, I am doing it even if it is for the mind only a dream, because that dream is waking up.
The dream was waking up and the fact he engaged us is waking up.
More dreams to get awake and aware of it, but the meaning of it gets us closer to the conditioning and it makes us able to see things clearer and to know the right answer.
Before I met my ex in the ashram I had a Baba interview and he asked to whom I belonged, it was a Baba question, it was real and not a dream, but when I talked about that interview, we were all comfortably sitting in Kodai, lotus flowers on the lake and it was somehow beautiful and there my ex answered, 'you belong to me'.
That is the state of day dreaming, someone tells you something and you go on dreaming, I am so and so and he said it just for me.
I had no experience of it, but I couldn't answer it, I just had the feelin I didn't know, it felt too much all that and in the background was still that unfinished realiy about TM.
But he gave Baba a letter and he took it, that made it somehow real and I thought it was at least positive and maybe he would help me to get the right answer, but already there was in his dream state that Baba warned him that he would not get the answer on that level.
But it was his dream and therefore, again not really possible to understand it. We had a child together and afterwards everything turned into tamas, as he always had the last word again a dream state, now it should be real what it never had been.
It was not the reality of Sai Baba's teaching and not sathvic, all turned upside down, it became a real problem. And he had a Baba dream which said, 'you lived a dream that is your problem not mine', but he never understood any of those dreams.
After Baba was in his dream and said I had to go and make peace with him. After we went to the ashram and we didn't go back, he made aware that he didn't know what he was doing, he was somehow dangerous and even destroying himself and because there was a child involved.
I also enjoyed being alone again. Only when I went to see Baba I got aware of it that with him everything turned into mud. He turns out to be the enemy.
When I tried to make him aware of the reality that he lived a dream only as Baba did, he blamed me for it as usually, backbiting, it was not possible to reason with him.
All the while life happened, even if it was just a dream.
Because of the child we spent more time together, than was good for us, not very happy, but in the end I was glad to never see him again.
But now I had a child and was alone, that was not a dream. And he didn't have a second thought about it and went the path of least effort, he took advantage of it.
But I am working with Baba's dreams. It is a level of self-inquiry.
But in writing it down, we wake up, because when we get aware of dreams, we actually wake up.
Do you really think I dream of a relationship?
And what if that relationship doesn't work? I try to find the reason why he did it, why all that comes up in my dream.
My ex was dreaming, it was a daydream. Baba said something and he thought it was for him only, but he took only advantage of it. It arranged him, the same with his boss.
I had no knowledge of it, we talked about truth and I thought he had more notion of truth than that.
For me it was a Baba lila because he had asked the question to whom I belonged in the interview, it was a real question he had asked and not only in the dream state and he took the letter, that was not a dream.
My motivation was not a dream, I didn't dream how it would be with him in a relationship, I knew I would wake up. If I would have dreamt I probably would have noticed that it could not be real and that it was tamas and a dream.
Baba had asked that question in the interview room therefore, it was not a dream, but any devotee could still wonder about it, because in the waking state it is actually still a question. And not only that, there were also different masters. To whom do I belong?
For sure not to my ex. By the inner engagement Baba made me aware of the inner husband and that I actually belong to him.
I was not aware that I didn't know. It was still about TM, working with the TM-leader who should check it and make it in that sense real and he didn't do it until it was too late and then also everything turned into tamas, upside down reality. Nothing was real.
And I didn't know how to get out of it, I could just go on to the end.
I had a father who sent me to the US in a work relationship which was awful and that because of the American dream. It was about learning English and such stuff, but nothing was real, I was too young couldn't drive yet and just twenty and not grown up in the US. There was no opportunity to get English lessons and just work.
All liked the idea America and it turned out to be an overwhelming experience. A friend got me on the air plane back. It was an adventure, but in the airplane I realized that nearly threw up thinking to go back to that parent's house.
I had to go anyhow, because there was no other place, but I felt sick just to think of it. It was all a dream only and not what they had talked about it, but nobody knew that it is called Tamas when things turn out to be different than we think it should be. Coming back it was not a good feeling to meet the parents till the end of her life my mother went into self-defence when that experience came up. She was never able to look at it differently. During the time when he planned the house in Spain it was in the air 'illusion' only.
I felt it was very difficult to live in that parent's house again.
When he was two years old his father left. He thought that he would find him again in the US and somehow I lived the dream of my father when first going to the US, and it was nothing but a dream.
And with my parents it was not possible to get aware of it, they were just defending themselves. After I came back they did like it would never happened. It was not possible to face that experience on a normal understanding level.
From that moment on it felt like everything I said was offending to her and it never really got okay again.
She was not able to look at the reality that she lived a dream with him and she avoided everything what could put her illusion in question.
With my ex as soon as there was a child it was different, but still only his dream that Baba asked that question just for him... only.
And with the child had to face another reality, let down by the family, who was not a family but lived for the idea to please the others, mind reality. It was also upside down. There was no one when we needed it, it was all somehow a dream level.
My ex worked for a Montessori school and one day I went there to pick him up and she told me that she was not happy with him.
The same evening, before I could even tell him what she said, he began to talk about being her partner and such bullshit.
The same evening, before I could even tell him what she said, he began to talk about being her partner and such bullshit.
I was completely taken aback and shocked and I realized that was the level I had met in the ashram, the fantasy about what he could be... daydreaming, it was the same with his boss and that was the point when I got aware why it was all a dream only.
And in the end it feels like we get aware with one dream of another dream.
Before I came back from Paris I met a TM-teacher in the siddhi prep course and later after we had met he felt like a soulmate.
I didn't know until not long ago. And it was not about relationship, it was about not understanding.
He said always, I don't understand.
That's the real result of TM, as it seems, for both of us.
Only with Baba I got out of that deplorable state and the feeling of not understanding. And he has it still in front of him, but he thought I could answer his questions..., that is also an illusion, he has to find the answers in himself.
It is the illusion of TM that we can learn it by heart or by technique and after we are able to understand it and it is all easy.
Nothing what really matters had been understood on that level, and in the end was only one thing clear, that we don't understand it.
Baba in making that inner relationship and engaging us, made me aware that I belong to him, but I cannot live it alone.
It is a level of sharing and not being alone in the self, but it is a level of sharing and love.
So, even knowing that, “Oh, I have been in deep sleep", "I have been in slumber", "I have been dreaming”, wakes you up. Patanjali has done a great favor to all by quoting this one sūtra: The knowledge of sleep awakens you.
When a person is sleeping, he is not aware that he is sleeping. The moment he realizes that he was sleeping or that this is sleep, he is already awake.
A person who is day dreaming does not know that he is day dreaming. The moment he knows that he was day dreaming, he wakes up to the reality that very moment, instantly. Even when you do (sudarshan) kriya and prānāyām and nothing is happening to you, are you not day dreaming or are you sleeping? There can only be two possibilities. There is no third possibility. Are you day dreaming? If you are day dreaming any amount of prānāyām cannot help you because your mind is galloping on a dream, “Oh I will be the President of Germany or some place”. You do not know how much of a headache it is to be the President of Germany. But the mind goes on such a race.
It is so difficult for politicians to get into any sādhana because their mind is in a constant state of daydreams. The pity is that they do not know that they are day dreaming and their dream is worth nothing. Worth nothing.
Before I came back from Paris I met a TM-teacher in the siddhi prep course and later after we had met he felt like a soulmate.
I didn't know until not long ago. And it was not about relationship, it was about not understanding.
He said always, I don't understand.
That's the real result of TM, as it seems, for both of us.
Only with Baba I got out of that deplorable state and the feeling of not understanding. And he has it still in front of him, but he thought I could answer his questions..., that is also an illusion, he has to find the answers in himself.
It is the illusion of TM that we can learn it by heart or by technique and after we are able to understand it and it is all easy.
Nothing what really matters had been understood on that level, and in the end was only one thing clear, that we don't understand it.
Baba in making that inner relationship and engaging us, made me aware that I belong to him, but I cannot live it alone.
It is a level of sharing and not being alone in the self, but it is a level of sharing and love.
So, even knowing that, “Oh, I have been in deep sleep", "I have been in slumber", "I have been dreaming”, wakes you up. Patanjali has done a great favor to all by quoting this one sūtra: The knowledge of sleep awakens you.
When a person is sleeping, he is not aware that he is sleeping. The moment he realizes that he was sleeping or that this is sleep, he is already awake.
A person who is day dreaming does not know that he is day dreaming. The moment he knows that he was day dreaming, he wakes up to the reality that very moment, instantly. Even when you do (sudarshan) kriya and prānāyām and nothing is happening to you, are you not day dreaming or are you sleeping? There can only be two possibilities. There is no third possibility. Are you day dreaming? If you are day dreaming any amount of prānāyām cannot help you because your mind is galloping on a dream, “Oh I will be the President of Germany or some place”. You do not know how much of a headache it is to be the President of Germany. But the mind goes on such a race.
It is so difficult for politicians to get into any sādhana because their mind is in a constant state of daydreams. The pity is that they do not know that they are day dreaming and their dream is worth nothing. Worth nothing.
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