Diffence between Seer and Seen

A tree is justified by fragrant flowers bringing forth sweet fruits. If on the other hand, its leaves dry, flowers fade and the fruits refuse to grow, the farmer will examine the roots and discover that they are eaten up by pests. 
So too, if virtues do not blossom and yield sweet fruits in you, then the roots of Divinity might have been destroyed or harmed. Envy, greed, malice, etc. are the pests that rapidly destroy the roots. All of you are near and dear to the Lord; only you must have the staunch determination to realize Him.

Welcome hardships, trials and sufferings. Dwell on the Name of the Lord which is dear to you, steadily and with faith. Discard all inferior sources of joy. Know that the Lord is the spring of joy in every heart. When you repeat the Name of the Lord with a pure heart, He will fill you with bliss and joy.

Baba (thought for the day)

In the beginning stage of meditation it felt only good and easy. We had more strength and knew in what direction we went and it was a good feeling. But that was the beginning. 

Shraddha is a faith that you are moving in the right direction. It is not a blind faith in some organization, institution, or teacher. Rather, it is an inner feeling of certainty that you are moving in the right direction. You may not know exactly how your journey is unfolding, but have an inner intuition of walking steadily towards the goal of life. 

Yoga and Sutras

There was once a picture in my dream and my feet were attacked constantly.

I never wanted to believe how it really looked, because it feels frightening when we see it inside in colors of the inner self and only sathva seems okay and all the other colors try to attack and prevent from going on.

I wanted to see the good and especially after some of the family had begun with meditation, but they didn’t practice.

Only the sister went on. Nothing had changed or if it had, only for me.

We can compare it with Pralada, the young boy, who grew up in the house of a demon and the father tried to kill him and he was saved by the Lord, who appeared as Lion to kill the demon. The father let him be thrown in a precipice and he was saved by the Lord.

There was also a precipice in the air when mother came back from Spain and Baba makes aware that precipice means pride.

But it took time until I felt able to see her in that light.

There was the neighbor, the scorpion and he tried with his deathly sting to stitch my hand, manipulation in the air, but he harmed himself, 'harm set, harm get', it was in the dream after he had died.

There was an avalanche, the attachment of the mother after her death and at the same time we got aware how it had missed me.

After I began to get aware of inside colors and how it looks, I also began to get tired, because reality is different then we think it is.

Virya is the positive energy of ego that is the support for the faith of going in the right direction. This energy of virya puts the power behind your sense of knowing what to do. When you are strongly acting on what you know to be your correct path, that is virya. When you feel weak or uncertain, and are taking little action, that is from lack of virya. Virya is that conviction that says, "I can do it! I will do it! I have to do it!"

Yoga and Sutras

In the beginning meditation felt like joy, it was new and we went in direction of an unlimited mental potential, it felt like a great source of strength. It must have been, because there was that ‘strength of an elephant’ in the air while I was sitting in Prasanthi Nilayam in the darshan.

That is how Baba directed from inside into that realm of inner view.

We are no more beginners in meditation and have also to go beyond that part of inside perception. It was after I missed the last opportunity to see Baba and I couldn’t go to him, it felt like I couldn’t wake up anymore and that was probably also the real reason for that tiredness.

In the beginning meditation was joyful, it went in the right direction, and being in Baba's darshan there was a lot of joy.

Getting aware how it really looks, that is difficult and it seemed nearly impossible to keep up sometimes with it.
Inside it is different and colorful, but it makes able to see it as it really is, it is objectivity.

Tonight that relationship with the NL of the TM movement was reflected in the dream state, all dark, there was no light, no positivity, only dark, it felt uncomfortable and ended with a black hole, and that reflected my state of mind and how it felt inside, not very great indeed.

There was no separation between inner self and outer level. I still thought it would get okay again later on just by meditating, the reality of what was seen and the seer was not recognized as different and therefore, we were not aware of reality.

We thought by meditating we could change the seen, when it is part of the seer and that cannot be changed, it just reflects reality.

That is illusion that the seen is stress only and we don't recognize the difference between the seer and the seen.
It was not possible in the practice with TM to get aware of the difference between the seer and the seen, it was all stress only.
On that hompage about yoga and sutras is an explanation about colored thoughts.
But in my experience it has to do with reality, only it is difficult to absorb. Different colors inform about the chakra level and we get aware beyond doubt on what level we are, it is objective knowledge, we see the body as the seen, the self is different from it.
That is information, it helps to see it in the right light.
We cannot ignore reality of our life and it feels all different out of that sight and if I would write a book about it, that would be a different story. But it is natural to get aware of the rainbow colors, but sometimes also heavy, because it has to do with reality.

And it is more personal when colored, not colored thoughts have in that sense less impact because they have nothing to do with me, but as he tells it is also a passing state, we will see, maybe in time it will be known and nomore a level of consideration or we will keep a level where we cannot get attacked, whatever, we will see.
If I write and see inside the reflection of a green color, I know it is the heart chakra, and it means being aware of the body as the object, the seen and the self is different from it and sees how it feels, it is the light of the body. The body and the feeling level is the seen, the self behind is the seer. If there is no color how do we get aware of the level we have to deal with? Where do we take the information from? During our stay with John of God in Brazil he informed inside that seeing the colors was the result of meditation. In that environment my meditation transformed into chakra meditation and that was kind of amazing, because it went up the colors red till purple and transcended. In transcendence we forget the body, time and place, but it was the body level which got us back again and that was again red and then we had to get up again. That was repeated cerveral times and it gave me a feeling that it was perfectly okay as it was and there was no difference on that level between West and East, that was good to know.

Getting aware of it was also inside with Baba in Prasanthi at the time he was in the hospital, he said that I should go to the ashram program and that I would miss it, if I wouldn't go and I went.
There was that light blue color and that is the direction he said I should go on as directed by him and the inside seeing. How could I not go, as it was the only direction I had to go.

That also made me stay and go through it and we didn’t go sightseeing, like others did, even if the obstacles seemed too big as I didn’t get our room inside the ashram.

I will never give up as long as I am able to and as long as there is enough strength, but I got already in situations when I doubted that I am able to do it and I wonder afterwards that I still did it.

But in Pasanthi when he left the body it seems it had to be like that because it was a transition, not inside and not outside, it was both and that is typical for transition states. Baba also was in the hospital and not in the ashram.

It is the same when he said I will lose my job and that he will give me a new job, it is between the old and the new one, while life is going on, it feels like we have to get conscious about transition, I have to get aware of it.