Difference between Happiness and Peace

Everyone is after happiness. The hunt for comfortable jobs and positions of influence, the founding of banks and business houses, the growth of bungalows – all these are evidences of the eagerness to live in happiness. But there is no real eagerness to live in peace.
Happiness should not be confused with peace. No one rich, well placed, prosperous or powerful has peace. Peace cannot be found in passbooks or iron safes. You can investigate and verify this truth yourself. Peace cannot also be ensured by the piling of bombs and weapons. Mere terror and counter-terror will not establish cordiality and harmony. Realize that the physical is subordinate to the spiritual. The secret to peace lies in service and love towards all beings.
International peace cannot dawn until the minds are cleansed of hatred and terror; remove these two evil traits within each heart and plant therein love and service.
Baba

That means our motivation is different from the outcome. We look for happiness, but we don't get it because there is no peace. If we live in peace it makes happy.

When I met my ex I went for it because of Baba behind, I thought he would make sure it would go in the right direction. 
If happiness is not there, we quickly adapt and find another situation which seems to be happier, but peace is a spiritual training.
That was the difference between my ex and me.
I went for it in Baba’s presence to make sure I would not lose the aim of going in direction of peace and with the focus to reach peace.
As it didn’t work out, Baba called me to him to make peace with him.
My ex had no notion of it, not even when we were with Baba, disturbing the inner peace he cancelled our financial resources thinking that my parents should take care.
He was stupid, he didn’t know what he was doing.
Already when he said that 'I belonged to him' he didn’t know what he was doing, because I spoke of an interview question Baba had asked and he took advantage of it. He never asked himself if that was answering a spiritual question, and he couldn't live with it that it was not the right answer.
Tonight I went from one nightmare to the other.
When I was meditating I focused on the breath getting finer and on the sound of it ‘Soham’. As we know from TM it had to become finer to transcend. The sound is the main level to transcend. It felt alright.
The shock came up when that ended in a black hole and the question was, what had a technique to do with a black hole?
Even if the mantra and the becoming finer was right and it felt like it would go on forever. There appeared a black hole and that ended up in doubt, something was wrong and that made it not better, but worse. And there were no answers and no peace.

TM showed how to use a mantra to get it finer and to forget it, how to meditate, but it didn’t explain why in meditation could be a black hole. TM said no more questions and all answers given, but there was a black hole, no answers and there was a Maharishi who appeared as criminal, because the national leader didn’t check the relationship as he should have, probably because she had walked out on him, he waited until it was too far gone, until it was too late. The ego of that person had still an influence.
He went on finding excuses until it was too late, until the master appeared as criminal, nothing but bullshit, he was a coward.
My idea of the highest first with the national leader was wrong, he was stupid.
Maharishi had said to him that she had a big ego. Even if he told, he didn’t understand, and that was not verifiable, because the others had no master contact, so everybody thought the national leader knew what he was talking about, but he didn't. And if it was not that the reason, maybe it was just cowardice, he loved the title more than the spiritual aim behind.
Maharishi told him also he would have to work like a donkey if he would marry her. After that she left quickly on the big mother divine course, leaving the guy heartbroken.

I came from Paris, enthusiastic to work for TM, it seemed much more efficient with the national leader together and I didn’t know the background, but probably nobody knew, because it was all kept secret. He said he had to check it with the Maharishi if it was okay, but he didn’t do it, he found always an excuse why he didn’t.

Only later was clear that it was because of what had happened before.
There was a big black hole inside during meditation that was alarming and later the Maharishi appeared as criminal. And no possibility to realize why it was like that. Everything secret, hidden to enforce the people in power, not transparent. It was a state of feeling lost and cut off, shit, it was not funny. 
Baba said it was not the right path and why, that was indeed very difficult to understand, because I am no yogi and it mixed the ego of the national leader, the wrong path with the fact that God allows things like that to happen and he is that too. 
The character of the national leader came up, his real face. When he noticed something went wrong, he ‘engaged’ himself as fast as he could, three months after I left to Baba, to make himself look good and like it was my fault, because I had left, he was just a coward. 
I was glad he was gone. He worried about the title ‘national leader’, and he is it no more, but because of another reason, he made some swindle with the pension money.
The Maharishi felt like a friend because he was a yogi, but as human being he felt not very responsible, he didn’t care at all.  
It's the result of the big ego – he checked it, she had left. 
If it felt silly or not, it was there, it felt only stupid to me, not to the others.
No use that I got upset, but I wasted my time and I didn't know if it was on a personal level or in general, and it put my life upside down, it was not the right path.
Even if I was with Baba and was sure to be right there, peace was still in question because of no answers. 

Follow the inner master. Face the devil. Fight to the end. Finish the game. (Baba)