Thursday, June 16, 2011

Get the power of a siddhi - I am that

If I am used to meditate with a mantra and go beyond body and mind, (even if not being aware of it, the always sad reality during TM practice) but focused on a siddhi like
 'calmness is attained by Samyama on the bronchial tube',

I gets inside calm. But not as repetition of the sutra, as we were told, but focus, flow and merging at that place, the bonchial tube, in samyama.
If the uninvolved observer gets to the insight of 'I am that', that gets established. With other words, power and control over calmness is gained.
It must have been the same way the 'strength of an elephant' was established, I was forced in that situation to be strong, as I needed it, if there is focus, flow and merging, the strength gets realized as 'I am that'. 
It was in the air, but the awarness how I got it was missing, and I felt poor at the same time, because of the nature of TM puppets. What to do with such an environment, a puppet house?
How to understand it? 
No awarness of the difference between a real siddhi and just repeated formula. To get real it has to be one with the self, the insight is 'I am that'.
I am sick, the fever makes me find ways, as I have nothing else to do but to think how I could help the body to recover faster, using yogic powers.
I understand that you get tired of it, mentioning again and again TM. I would be sorry for anybody who had the problem I had being in that situation, in a relationship with a TM puppet.
Even Baba in darshan made me aware he was sorry, it was above him in the air, when I was sitting there, all what had gone wrong had been there, but I still hopped, that it would get better and that it was only a bad dream.
And it also makes me aware, that at that time I didn't realize the difference between seeing and reality and just pictures, I had learnt nothing at all, it was all wrong.
And I had such a burden on my shoulders to realize that.
I had to see why TM puppets react not human, being trapped in one relationship only, moreover, that master, who had made the puppets was not there.
That is, don't know the right expression, something like - so fugged up...!

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