He said in the dream quite some time ago, 'I am in Africa' and now we watched in the meeting which was about leadership at the weekend a video clip about someone who is in Africa. It made no sense before, but now it does as they don't think they have to listen to him, they listen to successful people really and that video clip instead of Swami.
The quotes were mostly from books from good devotees, so called leaders probably and only once he said that Swami has all that planned that we meet here and people were laughing and I thought how childish and like Kindergarten.
It felt after a while sick being part of that bla, bla, bla only and him organizing and all is his really but no words or Swami or quotes or even a Swami video. We read everything else but Swami.
They seem to think that he is not the leader and we have to look at worldly leaders.
It felt that ridiculous, listening to that all afternoon yesterday at the end I felt like throwing up nearly. Sitting with them at the same table for lunch break and I just said that we have to use Swami's words and one told me that she has him in her heart and I had to insist, nevertheless, we have to use is words.
We were told to use all keys if we play piano, we look at all possibilities to find at the end the right one.
We talked about what we could do and one idea war about an Internet platform so that it will be able to share and to exchange and get to better conclusions. So finally we were asked what we would do and for me it is definitely the Internet platform and the right conclusion.
As we know from Patanjali sutras, to get to correct understanding we need three levels of knowledge, direct perception, inference and the written or spoken words of a self-realized authority.
They gather in the name of Baba, but the text and quotes and the video we watched were leaders or what they think leaders are.
We recognize behind the lack of wisdom and the reasoning of the mind, if we talk about leadership and we don't listen to Swami's words. When he left the body he said in my dream, they have lost the leader.
If we talk about his words it can transform our life. One insisted that he was in her heart after all that time and they really live in the illusion that they are able to absorb Swami's teaching just in the heart, with other words that are not his words, but her words and she thinks that she knows him. Such illusion and dream world made me feel sick really and that we had to listen to that. It feels like never thought over and they think they know Swami in the heart, that are not the words of a self-realized authority and somehow naive and blind.
It feels like it, he said in the insight, 'I am in Africa', the leader is projected in someone who is in Africa. Kind of surprising to see that video clip of Radio Sai and to realize that they don't know how to listen to him. But he mentioned once that he is organizing everything. But there is no listening, they all think they know and there is lots of passion going on. If people think he is in the heart, they listen to worldly leaders instead of the divine, the Westerners are thinking like that and it feels like suffering and agony, because there is no transformation possible on that level.
It just shows that they don't know and as they don't know how to listen to Baba, they don't get aware of it that they don't know, they are nowhere really, they think they know, when in reality they don't know and live somewhere in their ideas about the divine and the think they are right.
The divine is their imagination of what they think divinity is. Seven million people what he said in the insight are Westerners dressed up in old-fashioned manner we have the insight in the dream. Lots of people, too many and it feels like it reflecting on him.
The principle of the 'I am that' is the ocean ground and even Patanjali tells that hardly anyone goes on that level, but it is possible to do it directly without sutras to Atma, as it is described by the gopis. Only we are not able to live the level of the gopis, we also understand it wrong and imagine it differently than it really is.
That is why there was a man on the ocean ground who said, 'help us'. We have the principle of the ocean ground in the insights, we had the 'I am the One', we had the 'I am that' and that expanded to all are that in Prashanti during the singing.
People thinking that they are leaders creating troubles for others. It is not just about mediation and relax. It is not done if we have Tamas and it is upside down. With meditation alone we sit down and relax but here we have to get aware of the tendency of Tamas and we have to get rid of Tamas and we have to transform Rajas and the path is only Sathva.
If we have to get aware of it, it is not the right thing to just relax and forget about it and if we relax when insight is needed, we avoid it and that is not good and not right action. He also said in the dream stage, he is the insight and he is the following step.
If we tell ourselves relax when we should get to right insight what results afterward in right action, what is the following step, we get in troubles.
I was tired of it and I had enough listening to it and I wanted to drive home. I was actually in a hotel and when I got my car there was a strange lady and she put her luggage in the drive way, she forced me to stop the car and asked me if I go downwards and I said, no upwards. I went upwards to change direction and then I went downwards and I didn't stop, I just went ahead. I had that enough of listening to all that, I couldn't take anything anymore going in that direction and that is usually what happens in such moments, we are already vulnerable and it comes in from somewhere. But I had that enough and I looked at that luggage in the drive way and it was only troubles. I was not able to see anything but troubles really. It was the limits of what I was able to take. That it happened in that very moment was kind of not surprising, it is like showing me that I am not able to take it anymore and it also would not be good. I had to decide for my own safety and not service to others or whatever that was.
I didn't take her with me. I had enough and it was not safe for her and not for me if I got even more aggravated. I didn't like that she put her luggage in the drive way so I had to stop, she was with others waiting for the bus. It needs also a certain audacity to do that and that is just what happens in such moments, too much people, too much talk going on and too much emotional stuff and no possibility to get out of it in distance.
It was like – no more, it is too much, I cannot take that and it was in the air when I said that I feel like throwing up. So many strange people I met since I went the first time to India, they are always somehow around. I had to translate in the interview room to such a person and after I was in her attention and I became her focus.
As I has mentioned it how I felt like throwing up and that it didn't feel good, it was not a matter of just relaxing and in a sense it got still worse until I was at home and I began to eat the sweets we had too much and I took with me even if I don't eat it really usually and then I began to play the iRig keys, it took time to install it, but now it worked and it made me feel better.
It is the foremost duty of students to transform every activity of life into one of strength and beauty. But unfortunately, the education system of today fails to nourish the qualities of wholesomeness, unity and love, which are the hallmarks of true education.
The meeting yesterday showed that people think they are doing it and they don't know that they don't know. If we just talk and express ideas and it gets pushed up emotionally how can we transform every activity into strength and beauty?
It would have been there if we would have had Swami's words, but it was just a lot of talking really.
Students must realise that their lifespan is fast melting away like ice, whether they care to improve or not. Students of today are blind to the goal of life; many do not even feel the pain of not knowing the purpose of life.
They think they do it properly, but they don't know that they don't know and that means the lifespan is also melting away like ice and they don't get aware of it that they don't improve, it is always the same, just discussion and no correct understanding and no right conclusion.
Only one in a million strives to realise the essence of life. This striving is the steppingstone for the realisation of the purpose of life. Many people feel that the acquisition of food, clothing, shelter, wealth, conveniences, and comforts constitute the very purpose of life. Life remains a tragedy as long as people toil under this kind of delusion.
To just gather in his name assuming that we know and that we are able to listen to him in our heart is foolish really, it is not real and just a dream world and we don't know what we are doing.
Meeting in his name, but not aware that we don't use his words and we are not used to listing to him. It has become a habit, they go on thinking that they are right and that they know how and they get together and they even think they are able to absorb all that in their heart and that he talks to them in the heart, it is foolishness really and a dream, they live in a dream world what has nothing to do with reality.
The day you realise the purpose of life, you undergo a total transformation, from agony (vedhana) to freedom from pain (nirvedhana).
When he left the body there was a dream situation and he sat in the wheelchair on the stage separated by height from the others and it was agony in the air, that is the agony what he calls here (vedhana) and there was no freedom from pain (nirvedhana).
Last winter the center leader was imposing the leadership role before the study circle began with all people already present. He thought he was the leader and it was only disturbance and trouble making. It want on all night and I was not dissolved. It was in the dream stage as body level, really unpleasant and awkward to have that experience. After all it had nothing to do with him on a personal level, it was about leadership and a wrong notion about it. I I didn't want to go into discussions about it as it was clear from the beginning we would have problems. When I wrote him Baba's words, as he had told me I should use his words, he put behind every word a question mark.
In the dream stage the man coming in our dream to awake us said that it was the reason why he was in the wheelchair.
It felt upside down and tamasic and in Prashanti we heard some lecturer and he said that we have to give up Tamas and transform Rajas and hold on to Sathva.
When coming back from Prashanti Nilayam already at the airport the issue with the center leader was present in the air again. This time it was someone else who had heard from it and told me what he thought about it and Instantaneously it came up and it was not finished but present again.
The day you realise the purpose of life, you undergo a total transformation, from agony (vedhana) to freedom from pain (nirvedhana).
We cannot live a life in freedom of pain if they think they know and they impose their way of seeing it on the others. Like that he is in the hearts and they don't need to listen to his words. The pain or agony as it is called here is imposed and enforced on us.
If we get that freedom from that agony and it gets transformed it is by listening to his words. People live in a dream world thinking we are long time devotees, we know it all. There is not freedom of pain, but troublemakers, they know everything better and enforce on others their 'not enlightened' sight of if, a big spiritual ego and a false message.
If we realize the purpose of life and we undergo a total transformation and we know we have to get it confirmed by the written or spoken words of a self-realized authority and we listen, we listen and by thinking it over we absorb and feel the transformation and we get free from agony.
But it is really imposed by the long time people living a dream thinking that they know it all, but they never had the experience of transforming it.
Their ego doesn't allow getting aware that they don't know really and they think like yesterday, after 20 years of study circle…, of course, his words are in her heart, only she is not able to think it over, she comments every word and she shouldn't and she is not able to even shed up for once and to listen …., but she thinks the has absorbed all of the wisdom in her heart after such a long time and that is something of the worst what can really happen to us.
If we think we don't need to listen to his words, we have become our worst enemy and what she called twenty years of study circle was only half a circle, she has not once experienced the transformation of the divine words. After 20 years of study circle and she didn't get aware of the transformation power in his words?
What a shame really.
It means she is not aware that the divine word, if we listen to it and think it over that these words have transformation power and it changes the energy?
The words of a self-realized authority have the power of transformation and she thinks she is such a long time devotee, she doesn't need that anymore.
She had not even once really experienced a proper study circle; only half a circle and not a real circle. It is the worst ignorance I have ever met. It is better to not know anything at all than getting to such wrong conclusions and that in his name and even worse imposing it on others.
It was the same present with the center leader, he enforced it on us and disturbed the freedom of pain.
What we experience in a study circle if it is the circle that is the purification of the ideal and it is possible that the energy undergoes a total transformation and it changes from agony to freedom from pain.
That is the confirmation in Swami's words and he explains in that way what happens if we listen to him, but we have to listen.
The day you realise the purpose of life, you undergo a total transformation, from agony (vedhana) to freedom from pain (nirvedhana).
If we get to the right conclusion we get freedom of pain.
There was a moment I didn't know if I would be okay or if I would have to run to the bathroom and throw up. It took some time to be just myself and to feel somehow okay again after that agitated meeting yesterday.
It was emotional, it was stirred up and there was no correct understanding and no right conclusion, nothing had changed as always and they are not aware of it and it took time and only at home it lightened up and I began to feel okay again.
That is the result when we don't listen, it is foolish to think that we are too good and too experienced to listen, when listening to his words is actually like a miracle and ends in the transformation from agony to freedom of pain.
It is agony if we have the knowledge that it can get transformed and we see all those people wanting to be leaders, having no idea about it what they are doing.
There is only one leader and that is He and we have to listen to his words to get free of the agony and pain and if we don't do it and we think we are the leaders, we don't get free of it.
But even if we have realized it and we know there is transformation, the people go on imposing their limited mind in the name of leadership on others and that is what was present in the dream as the reason why he was in the wheelchair.
If the movement lives on such a low spiritual level and it gets reflected and came back on him. That was the agony in the air during the time when he left the body.
His words can transform our life and as he is telling us here it transforms agony into freedom of pain.
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