The Process of Self-Discovery

Today we are celebrating Guru Poornima. The day is usually observed as an occasion for offering worship to the Guru (the religious or other preceptor). There are eight different types of gurus, who impart spiritual instructions of different kinds. Among these, the really important guru is "Vihitha Guru", the preceptor who removes the doubts in the minds of the disciples and reveals to them the process of Self-discovery and Self-realisation. The guru should destroy the darkness of ignorance (about one's Reality) and illumine the mind of the disciple. The illumination must result in the perception of the One Reality that is beyond name, form and attributes. No purpose is served by going in search of gurus. There is a guru in each of us. It is the Atmic principle. It is the Eternal Witness functioning as Conscience in everyone. With this Conscience as guide, let all actions be done.

Swami explains that there are different masters in that thought for the day, with different kinds of instructions.

We find it in his words in the study circle or the explanation of Darshan, it is removing the doubts in the minds of the disciples and he shows us the path to self-discovery and self-realization. 
In an interview he asked, 'why are you here?' We all didn't know the answer and finally he answered it and he said, 'self-realization'.

In the study circle it is about removing the doubts on the mind of people and that is when all the faces lighten up when those doubts are removed.

As the man coming in our dreams to awaken, he leads into the process of self-discovery. Even if it would only be about staying in touch as he made that inside connection, it results in self-discovery. We have to talk about something and what else would there be is in focus when it is about Swami but self-discovery by thinking over his words and that is what we find in listening to his words, self-discovery.

At the beginning I didn't know what to tell and he said, 'not at all ready' and then I began to write and wrote down what came in my mind without too much judging it but trying to make sense and he said, 'now ready'.

He is telling us here what we are doing and what it aims at if he comes as the man in our dreams to awaken, it results in self-discovery.

The study circle is about listening to Swami's words with others together and we share our thoughts and that also results in self-discovery, only the intensity is not as big as it is when we do it every day. People are not regularly and therefore, that growth they were talking about is relative, only if we keep doing it we get familiar with his teaching. That it is removing doubts and clarification of the ideal helps to understand it a lot.

The guru should destroy the darkness of ignorance (about one's Reality) and illumine the mind of the disciple.

That is usually also the motivation if we go to Swami. It is about removing the darkness of ignorance or we have the man coming in our dreams to awaken and if we don't get the message, we don't know how we have to get to a right conclusion that is also a reason why we go to him when it is about self-discovery.

Some seem to be in a kind of comfortable mind state thinking about and intimate connection in the heart what they try to feel and some even think that he is talking to them in the heart as he is the heart, they try to find him in their own heart. It seems a kind of a common understood practise that they listen to the heart and try to find him in the heart.

There was a meeting and one lady she said, but he is in the heart and she was that convinced that it sounded like he was in her heart really. We had study circle and  sat down she asked people, what do you think about that meeting?

Instead of focusing on the text or something enlightening really they began to share thoughts and for me it felt stupid really. I really tried to not get nervous and after listening to it, because it goes around, everybody talks about three minutes, so after five people we have listened to it for fifteen minutes and we just listen and don't say anything about it. After listening to them for all that time, I said that for me sitting in the circle without Baba's words and focus on his words is not a study circle, what are we studying?

There was on quote from Swami about conflict management, which is enlightening and we think it over it is about conflict management, everything else was not even from him. In the meantime I used that quote often as he stated when it is about conflict we have to bring it to the point in question that it will not expand.

We do damage control, what we would call it. We cannot avoid conflicts, they are part of life when people are present, but we need to limit the damage to a certain point so that it doesn't expand. Now I tried to apply it and it seems it worked, I had forgotten it when it came up about a week ago in the center and it was different, this time he talked to me in person and not in front of all, probably he thought it would give him power, but it created a conflict. He seems to have a problem that I am not playing a role as he thinks I should and as he thinks I should be bossed around by him probably.

The illumination must result in the perception of the One Reality that is beyond name, form and attributes.

How do we go beyond the name, form and attributes? 
How do we find the one reality that is beyond? In thinking about God only? God is that big, he is everything and an universal being. If people go around sharing their thoughts without thinking over Swami's words, there is no right conclusion if we have not the text of a self-realized authority and we don't listen. 
We should listen, think it over and absorb it in our own life and self what we have heard. 

We share our every day crap if we just share something in going around, the skill seems to be to listen and not to interrupt and that is enough challenge to call it some kind of circle only there is no study, there is just some sharing. If I have to listen to that I get headache or it feels heavy and cloudy, there is nothing enlightening in it, but what disturbs me the most is that nobody thinks something must be wrong about it. It creates actually conflicts and they just accept it and think it is part of it and it has to be like that. 

It means it feels overshadowed by it and not clear and after the first study circle it was done, there was no use of hoping to get any light in the meeting. It was not enlightening the mind and not removing doubts, it was just on the level of sharing something and it was boring and so it went on during that weekend and when driving back I felt that uneasy that I got to the conclusion I cannot take it anymore. They went on talking, but not getting to the point. They don't know that it is about clarification of the ideal or removing doubts from the minds of people, they don't listen enough to his words and teaching to be able to understand it. They don' know what they are doing. They meet and talk and go nowhere, it is frustrating to be part of such a meeting.

Driving back I noticed I felt that upset as I had been for a hours in it, I wondered even if I was able to drive back or if it was dangerous, I was already in such states of mind that it felt dangerous after such a meeting as it felt that disturbing, once I left the next day in the morning, it was not only that I couldn't take it any longer and anymore, it was such that it felt dangerous and we had nearly an accident on the way driving there I had a person at my side and she was too much talking and finally I felt that bad, I had to leave. Often we are more upset inside then we think we are and the focus is somehow not like it should be. 
Instead of silence what we know from our meditation retreats and more energy and getting back happier about it, there was more conflict and tension and no right conclusion.

We don't know what we feel, hat we feel, it feels like a pot of undirected energy and it is upsetting to be exposed to that for so many hours. It is not uplifting and not enlightening, there is no joy in sharing and when I hear someone telling that it was good, I wonder what he is talking about.

Not even the singing as loud as they can together, what they do with full hearts and it were just Western songs, felt like a need to go into distance inside just watching, because what that was too much the rest was not enough.

It felt like only mood making. If they wouldn't sing, it feels like no spiritual practise at all, only but talking and eating together and the food is usually good as it is prepared by the Indian devotees, they do Seva and they are those who benefit the most of it.

But it was okay to drive back, even if I had that state of mind of not being able to take it anymore. In a thought for the day Swami said not long ago that it is coming when we either faint or we cannot take it anymore and that is the feeling I had most of time and if that is a sign he had to be there constantly actually.
Thus coming back I needed about three days to feel like myself again.

A problem is not only how it feels, but driving back afterward, when there is danger in the air and the energy seems to get out of hand really. It is not possible to relax, too much tension and if we relax it is like it makes it even more dangerous and it feels like telling, everything is fine and mother nature corrects and hits and tells, no, it is not okay, nothing is okay. It is all wrong. 
Life is the best teacher, but we don't learn the lesson as it seems.

With that feeling that we cannot take it anymore we are actually not really okay and it is not something to relax into, it feels tensed and on the edge of not being able to take it anymore and I had that feeling already a few times since I went there. After the gathering I had the like throwing up and we had lunch and after we left and I was not sure if I was actually getting sick or not.

I have always somehow the feeling of not being able to take it anymore and if that is part of it and he is there when we are not able to take it anymore, he should be there always actually as that is already normal. The other thing is we just avoid it and don't go anymore. 
From lust to love I read a quote of Anil Kumar and that got it to the point, we talk in the study circle about divine love and if there is someone who is asking, 'what about the love for me', he is on the body level. 
Swami said, 'you and I are we and we and He is I'. If we put that principle into action we find that in the you and I is a direct relationship level what is mind and body and we first have to be together and that is 'we' and He the divine principle is I, the divine love, that Atmic principle. 
After that experience the man coming in our dreams to awaken showed there were only pieces left. On night only pieces left and Swami said if peace and right action are separated there are only pieces left. The next night the man coming in our dreams to awaken was there and it were a thousand pieces and I had one piece in my hand. The man coming in our dreams to awaken also said that he was because of that reason in the wheelchair, if there were thousand pieces and I had only one piece in my hand it means it must have happened all over and again and again. 
I took a break for three weeks and I already thought about never going there again, I was looking around for something else. And then we went to Prashanti and coming back it was still there, it didn't just dissolve in thin air and I tried to find the reason why and I got a reason and it is telling us when it is conflict, we have to get it to the point, otherwise it expands. What is the practise is that people see the conflict not as something we have to get to the point, but as part of it. 

No purpose is served by going in search of gurus. There is a guru in each of us. It is the Atmic principle. It is the Eternal Witness functioning as Conscience in everyone. With this Conscience as guide, let all actions be done.

He is telling us that the guru is in each one of us, we all have the Atmic principle in our own consciousness and higher awareness, but we have to realize it. There was that lady with the study circle and how she said that he was in her heart. If she would be aware of the Atmic principle, she would know that she has to listen first. 

She said, he is in the heart, we don't need to listen to his words and I was shocked how convinced she was about her not right conclusion. 
 That is what is understood if they  they think they have the guru in themselves, that Atmic principle, it needs to be realized first. If we don't know that principle, we also don't know how to find the guru in our own self. Only when it is realized it will be true. 
Some seem to ask Swami for an inside answer and if there is no answer, it seems to be a sign to go on, what is pure speculation and a challenge, we will not get an answer on that direct level like we take the phone and call and ask for an answer, that is the mind only. 

A common believe is that he is in the heart, the guru is in us, but we forget to listen to his words. It means listening is neglected and we think we can listen in the heart what is again not correct. We need to listen to the self realized authority and not to our heart which is not enlightened and therefore, there will not be any answer. With other words to the mind doesn't know and when we listen to the master we see the reflection of it in our own self and that heart and that leads to self-discovery. 

That is commonly wrong understood they are thinking that they find it in the own heart, what is true, but only as reflection and we have to get aware what reflects in our heart and that is what we find in the words of the self-realized authority. 
I told someone not long ago that she should not search for it inside as she is not enlightened, she should look for it in his words and then find the confirmation inside, but there is no way we can find it in an unenlightened heart, we find it only in our heart inside if we have realized the Atmic principle and it needs to be realized by the intellect. 
First we have the man coming in our dreams to awaken, it is in the air in Darshan, it can be the principle of the 'I am that', it is an insight not a concept, but we understand it as concept and it needs to be understood as principle. 

How does that work? 
The Atmic principle is like the sun, it is light and it shines and we see it in his words and recognize the refection of it in our heart as the same, so that we can tell, 'I am that', it is about self-realization.

The man coming in our dream to awaken made it in such a way that it reflected as the same, the Atmic principle in all of us and we all are He. 
We have to get aware of it. It needs to reflect in our heart and only when we know we are 'that' and all are that, we know that there is only one and we all are He. 

Among these, the really important guru is "Vihitha Guru", the preceptor who removes the doubts in the minds of the disciples and reveals to them the process of Self-discovery and Self-realisation.

We sing to purify the mind, we have study circles to remove doubts from the mind of people and to clarify the ideal, we do Seva to purify the mind and the heart and we meditate, contemplate and listen to his words to remove doubts, it is all for the purification of the mind and heart. When we have the man coming in our dreams to awaken it is about self-discovery, we have to think it over and listen to it to recognize it in our own self.

No purpose is served by going in search of gurus. There is a guru in each of us. It is the Atmic principle. It is the Eternal Witness functioning as Conscience in everyone. With this Conscience as guide, let all actions be done.

What people understand is, 'inside in my heart, no need to look for it outside and also not in Swami's words, that is a not right conclusion. They search for it in the heart and neglect contemplation and listening to his words to the point that they think it is not necessary.

He is telling it to us and we listen and only in going on listening we can find him in our heart. 
If we all listen to the heart and think we are able to find him in the heart when it is not true, there is a lot of confusion, level confusion and it is disturbed energy, they listen to the not enlightened mind and challenge Swami to give them answers and as he is not answering, it feels really naive and dangerous. 
And again like that we get into a situation where we have the feeling we cannot take it anymore.

He doesn't tell us here listen, listen and listen and find it in the conscience. We have to listen first and then follow our conscience as our guide. He tells us he is in the heart and because he is telling us and we are listening it is right, but only in that situation, not when we are no more listening and just focused to our own heart. 

It means it is inside in the heart and we have to turn the mind inside and that is done by meditation or jappa or all spiritual worships really, but not just by thinking that he is there, he has to be always there and that is a principle, it doesn't change, it is a mirror. 
Whatever turns the mind inside, just listening to a heart which is not enlightened is not the right answer, the heart will not tell us, there has to be light first before we can see the reflection of the light and the light is in his words and if we listen it reflects in our heart as well, but for that we have to realize the light in the divine principle first, it is the universal divine, God and it reflects as the same, 'I am that' also in my heart, therefore, there is no difference, we are the same.

It needs to be realized before we can find it in the heart and in his words is the reflection of the universal divinity and without looking at the light first, we cannot see the reflection in our heart. 

Without listening to his words, we cannot understand the reflection in our heart or the man coming in our dreams to awaken. 

That is the reason why people think they can do study circles based on their hearts what means they are just a sharing circle and not a study circle, they just sit together and talk and they don't share and they don't see any need of studying Swami's words if they think it is in their hearts, but the heart is not enlightened, it cannot be there. We have to understand it right to get to a right conclusion. Someone is foolish and in the mind and telling to Swami if you don't answer Swami in my heart, I am going to do it in that way and as Swami is not answering on such direct challenges, we will always walk into it and do what we shouldn't do.
ABC, always be careful.  

The result is self-discovery and not getting direct answers, it is always indirect and not direct, it is reflection and not direct as we are used with the mind. 
Self-discovery is the reflection of the light in our own self and seeing it and not direct answers and talking with 'Swami' like we do that in the mind and with someone on the phone. It is not taking with Swami in the heart like it would be with our handy, we dial the number and ask him and he answers. 

It is naive and dangerous to have such a relationship with our own higher self and it is only creating conflicts for others. But it gets even worse when we do not recognize that this guy has a mind problem and something is wrong and we tell, that is also Swami, it is also God's will as everything is him only and what else can result from that then that we feel like throwing up?
If it is conflict it needs to be addressed as such and we have to bring it to the point that it doesn't expand.  

In the meeting the people were not listening to Swami's words, because they all think they can listen to their hearts, they think they are able to hear him in their hearts. 
That is what they understand. It is a not right conclusion. 

We have that possibility in us, but it needs first to be realized and to realize it, we need to listen to the words of a self-realized authority. 

We don't know that we don't know means, we don't know that we cannot listen to an unenlightened heart, it needs first to be enlightened and we need to put on the light and get aware of it that we are also the light and also 'that', it is not real to listen to the heart if there is only the mind and not the heart. 
The Atmic principle needs to be realized.